


3 Words

by jellyturtle



Series: Past, Present, & Future [4]
Category: ITZY (Band), Stray Kids (Band), TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Behind the Scenes, F/M, First Love(s), Fluff and Angst, Hwang Yeji-Centric, ex-JYP trainees mentioned - Freeform, idolverse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-31
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:34:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 104,541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24464281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jellyturtle/pseuds/jellyturtle
Summary: Meddling Hwang twins, the pains of first love(s), and the nosy JYP 4th-Generation Squad.How messy could it possibly get?Far messier than Yeji could have ever imagined as she struggles to keep the balance between secrets and order to bring Ryujin the happy ending she deserves.Or where Yeji is so invested in Ryujin's love story that she almost misses out on her own (key word: almost).
Relationships: Choi Yeonjun/Hwang Yeji, Hwang Hyunjin & Hwang Yeji, Hwang Hyunjin/Hwang Yeji, Kim Byeongkwan/Shin Ryujin
Series: Past, Present, & Future [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1727596
Comments: 77
Kudos: 97





	1. Intro

**Author's Note:**

> Meddling Hwang Twins! Time to see how JYP's greatest tag-team contributed to our favorite couple as well as answer all the burning questions Ryujin (and we) might have. Time to give our caring leader the happy ending she deserves too ;) 
> 
> Additional tags will be added as the story progresses. Yeji's backstory regarding her own first love plays a huge role in the meddling so look forward to the slow reveal. 
> 
> Notes: The story's timeline takes place during the events of 'Complicated' and 'Ryujin's Secret' so please check those out first if you feel lost. Other than that, hope you enjoy~

_“I missed you.”_

3 words that can mean a hundred different things, perceived in another hundred different ways.

The sweet serenade to their fans, who have been waiting for them by the second when they have a comeback. The secret revealed outloud when they’re communicating with their parents who seem beyond reach even though they live only one city away. The casual greeting said every so often to acquaintances in the same line of work, individuals whom couldn’t even be counted as friends.

_“I missed you.”_

For Yeji, these were words that reflected her life story.

_“I missed you.”_

Words that didn’t convey enough, yet meant everything.

_“I missed you.”_

Words that resonated with her deepest of feelings.

_“I missed you.”_

Words that ended her first love.

**_“I missed you.”_ **

Yeji’s eyes shot open as she jolted awake, her breath heavy as adrenaline flowed through her veins.

When did she fall asleep in the stall? She quickly got up, washed her hands, and booked it out of the restroom.

She must have been exhausted to fall asleep like that, in the middle of their comeback season too. She needed to focus, willing her body to go past the normal limits of a typical young adult to be the best. She was already 20.

20 – the age that all youth fantasize about, the milestone of adulthood, the mark of transition in life. It was supposed to be the age where an individual was at the pinnacle of life. It was the peak age of beauty, of knowledge, of growth, and most importantly, of freedom. 20 was the age where an individual was granted the decision-making powers of life. And yet, here Yeji was, using her freedom to slave herself away to her dreams.

She sped along the hall, already dreading the onslaught of questions that she’d have to answer from the staff when she got back.

 _Focus_.

She forced her eyes to blink away the haziness she felt. She needed to focus, needed to be completely alert, because the second she let herself go, all of her work could come crumbling down in an instant. Yeji learned from a very young age that the moment her body was reminded of its humanity, her immune system plummeted into the ground. So she never stopped going, always kept pushing past her limits, tricking her body into thinking it was more than human.

_Focus._

But try as she might, she found herself withdrawing back into her mind, three words ringing in obstinate repetition. Three words she couldn’t ignore.

_I missed you... I missed you... I missed you. I missed you. I missed you! I missed you! I-_

“Took you long enough.”

The voice from nowhere caused her to let out a wild shriek, jumping back in fright.

“Whoa! What the heck?” The person also let out a yelp, frightened by her scream.

Obviously, it was too late (or more accurately, too early) for this. It was about 2 in the morning. Yeji did not need anyone coming out of nowhere to scare her in her sleep-deprived state in the middle of practice, thank you very much.

“What are you doing?” She pressed her hands to her chest, trying to calm her irate heartbeat down.

“I should be the one saying that!” He glared at her, also clutching at his heart. “Calm down!”

Had anyone else been in the hall, they probably would have laughed at the sight– two people facing each other in identical positions, both leaning against the wall with hands over their hearts as they glared at each other. After all, it wouldn’t be the first time Hyunjin and Yeji had been caught doing the same thing within vicinity of each other.

_‘Twins! Hwang Twins! Hwang Twins!’_

She could hear the mocking laughter, loud and clear in her thoughts.

But luckily, no one else was around, saving both of them from relentless teasing so after taking in a few breaths, Yeji stood back on her feet.

“Sorry.” She knew her apology sounded half-sincere, and that’s because it was.

But given that she was always the one who ended up apologizing first for all the situations they ended up in, that was the best he’d get from her.

He grunted, but also stood up on his feet, towering the full nine centimeters over her head.

She nodded at him and mindlessly started on her own way again, when suddenly, her memory returned in full.

She whirled around to face him, her eyes wide with anticipation.

He had an annoyed look on his face, his lips pressed into a thin line, but Yeji kept her eyes on him, knowing he’d crack.

“… Done.”

She let out a breath of relief she didn’t even realize she had been holding.

“Thank you.” She said quietly, smiling at him.

It hadn’t even been 3 seconds when he had moved, so quickly that she could barely process what was happening in her barely-functioning-due-to-lack-of-sleep state.

There was a smirk on his lips, his face cocked to the side arrogantly along with his outstretched hand that was only a few inches away from smacking her face.

She blinked confusedly.

“…What?” She had no idea what was happening, but in retrospect, she should have.

“I did what you asked, but I didn’t do it for free.” He jabbed his hand even further into her personal space, his smirk becoming a wide grin. “Pay up.”

At that, her jaw dropped as she stared at him in disbelief.

“Are you messing with me right now?”

“Am I ever messing with you, Hwang Yeji?” As always, his voice was calm, but with a very visible hint of condescension – just the right amount to grate on her nerves.

He infuriated her like no other. Yeji didn’t know whoever came up with the notion that Hwang Hyunjin was a quiet, kind person. Yes, he was less hyper than Felix or Jisung, but she’d argue that he was more annoying. His calm voice was always instigating something, those cat-like eyes twinkling with mischief, and that smile that appeared so angelic to fans, replaced by a conceited smirk.

“You’re impossible.” She scoffed, trying to control her temper. “I didn’t offer you anything.”

“You know how I work, Yeji.” He chuckled. “Nothing’s free.”

Of course she knew how he worked. Despite all of the misgivings she had about him, he was still the closest male friend she had. After all, they were ‘twins’, a title that had been pushed upon them ever since they were trainees and someone pointed out their uncanny resemblance – catlike eyes, slender body frame, and innocent smile (although she’d argue Hyunjin’s was definitely faux innocence, while hers was actually innocent). They had the same last name and at one point, were even the same height. Even though Hyunjin outgrew her by nine centimeters (although he insisted it was ten), everywhere they went, people still tended to assume they were siblings due to their close-to-identical features. 

She found herself regretting ever asking him anything in the first place, but she didn’t have a choice. The oppas in Stray Kids would have never agreed to her request and she wasn’t that close to Felix. She knew Seungmin would have flat out rejected while providing her with a hundred reasons why it was a terrible idea and while Jeongin might have performed the duty out of respect for her, would have been extremely nervous and probably let the secret out to all the other Stray Kids members. The same could be said for Jisung, who couldn’t keep a secret from anyone. Hyunjin was her only viable option, the only one who would be willing to do the task, not even for her, but just for the fun of it.

“… What do you want?” She let out a weary sigh, knowing that whatever he wanted wasn’t going to be a one-time deal.

His smirk grew into a grin.

“I don’t know,” He drawled, causing her to stifle a groan. “Maybe I’ll just hold it as an IOU.”

“My offer expires within 10 seconds so you better think of something.”

“I guess my help was just a one-time deal then.” He ran his fingers through his hair with a chuckle. “Good luck on getting the response on your own-“

“Fine!” She grabbed his wrist to prevent him from stalking off. “Fine!”

She glared at him, but he wasn’t fazed, the arrogant smirk remaining on his lips.

“What do you want?”

“Good girl.” He glanced down at her hand that remained on his wrist and then back at her with a mischievous smile.

“Just listen to Oppa and everything will be alright.”

It took all of Yeji’s self-control not to knee him in the groin right there and then. Oppa, her butt!

She contemplated smacking the back of his head as he strutted off arrogantly, like a cat. Hyunjin was really like a cat! A hateful cat, whose head was held high as he swayed from side-to-side, smiling innocently while creating mischief.

And that was why she preferred dogs. Yeji huffed as she left to return to Itzy’s practice room.

Suddenly, her mind flashed to one of her favorite songs.

‘I just wanna be your dog! Woof! Woof! Woof! Woof!’

She smiled to herself as she picked up her pace, silently humming the lyrics that drowned out the three words that had been haunting her earlier. 


	2. Meddling Hwangs

Yeji could still remember the night of the festival, where she didn’t see Ryujin shed a single tear, but heard the wrenched sobs that pierced through the noise of running water in the shower – the cries that pierced Yeji’s soul.

It broke her heart, pained her completely to see her Ryujin go through such an agonizing experience. Yeji knew all too well what it was like to experience rejection, scars of her own still lingering in her heart.

Ryujin was such a great actress that nobody could have guessed she had just gone through heartbreak – bright laughter always ringing from her beautiful smile during the day, eyes brimming with mischief as she joined with Yuna in carrying out harmless pranks. She may have fooled everyone, but she couldn’t deceive Yeji, who saw right through her happy façade. Yeji saw the strained lines in her cheeks as she choked out a laugh, could see the dark circles beneath her eyes indicating lack of rest. Sharing a room also didn’t help, as Yeji could hear the younger girl’s sniffles at night when she thought Yeji was asleep. But that wasn’t even the worst part.

The worst part was seeing how Ryujin completely immersed herself into work, how she became engulfed by their killer work schedule. Yeji was a workaholic by nature, her ambition to embody perfection rising above everything else. But Ryujin wasn’t like that. Ryujin worked hard, but also played hard. She tried to devote as much time into rest as she put into practice, achieving perfect equilibrium. She was supposed to be Yeji’s equilibrium, often dragging the leader to snack dates or back to the dorm at a semi-reasonable hour.

_“You work too hard, Unni.” She would chide with a playful smile on her lips, her hand clasping Yeji’s tight so that the latter couldn’t escape. “You need to relax! You’re more than good enough. You are enough!”_

Those genuine words would sink right into Yeji and warm up her insides instantly, all protests of going back to practice evaporating into thin air.

It literally gave Yeji migraines to see her Ryujin, her equilibrium and stability, turn into an even worse of a workaholic than she was.

She tried to switch roles, become the support that Ryujin was for her, but it was unachievable. How do you switch a workaholic into a fully functioning human with equal amounts of play and work? It was nearly impossible. Yeji did her best not to cringe as the other members looked at her strangely when she weakly suggested they end practice early to get snacks.

“Are you sick, Unni?” Chaeryeong and Lia had mirrored looks of concern on their faces.

“Unni, if this is about earlier, I’m sorry.” Yuna looked at her meekly.

Oh my gosh. It was so out-of-place that Yuna was sincerely apologizing for a prank she pulled earlier. Yeji was about to go insane.

The leader had the crazy idea of locking Ryujin in their room and physically restraining her to force her to rest, but she knew it wouldn’t work. For one, Ryujin was a lot stronger than her. And two, she just couldn’t do that to her Ryujin-ie, ~~her favorite~~ her baby.

She didn’t know what to do. She missed her Ryujin, her sweet friend who brought laughter into her life; the one who anchored her, keeping her from drowning in the waves of life and work. What was she supposed to do when the one who kept her was spiraling downwards was the one falling faster than Yeji would be able to catch her?

It was terrifying seeing how Ryujin’s beautiful eyes would turn vacant whenever she’d look away. It was as if she was dying inside, but when Yeji asked her about it once, the fake smile was slapped back onto her face and she’d wave off the older girl’s concerns.

 _Numb. Dead._ Yeji could recognize those emotions in a heartbeat.

Ryujin was dying inside and Yeji felt completely helpless. What was she supposed to do? But perhaps Ryujin wasn’t as numb as she thought. The day that Ryujin received the Kakao text message proved it. She felt relief washing over her at the knowledge that Ryujin stumbled and was shaken by his message. It was a sign that she wasn’t completely numbed over yet.

She quickly enveloped the younger girl into her arms when she muttered apologies even when they had long left the practice room.

“You are enough, Ryujinie.” She whispered into her ear. “Don’t ever forget that.”

Ryujin didn’t respond to his text message, reading it multiple times a day but always turning it off. Yeji was completely fine with that.

“But Unni,” Yuna squeaked indignantly, “She’s been looking at it over and over again! She should just tell him to come, right?”

The youngest shot a glance to Ryujin, who was sitting in the corner of the practice room. The girl was so preoccupied with her phone that she was deaf to everything else around her, including Yuna’s loud opinions.

She obviously still likes him.” Yuna puffed up her cheeks in frustration. “She should just respond! And-“

“This is Ryujin’s decision to make.” Yeji spoke firmly, putting her foot down. “No one can make that choice for her. She gets to decide what she wants to do.”

“But it’s annoying,” Yuna whined, leaning against Lia for comfort. “She’s not focused and she’s more quiet. She doesn’t even play with me anymore!”

“You have three other Unnis who care for you.” Chaeryeong’s voice was flat as she honed a judgmental gaze on the youngest. “You’ll live.”

Yeji cracked a smile as Yuna let out another dramatic whimper before throwing herself down to bury her face into Lia’s lap.

It was true Ryujin had been a bit off the past few days, but she didn’t mind. An off-Ryujin was better than a dead-Ryujin. Yeji was willing to give her all the time she needed and in the meantime, try to fulfill Yuna’s need as a gaming buddy substitute.

Days turned into weeks, and weeks into one month. By the end of the month, it was safe to say Yeji’s patience was starting to wear out, just a tad. Ryujin was still stuck in limbo, constantly checking her phone and staring at the message for hours, all while refusing to send a message back. At this point, Yeji believed Ryujin should have made her choice – either she contacted him back or cut him off for good instead of straggling in the in-betweens.

After all, limbo was never good for anyone. It gave people false hope and false expectations; it distorted reality and caused a decline in the mental, physical, and emotional states of wellbeing. Ryujin should have known this, considering how she had seen Yeji suffer through it before. Why was she prolonging her own suffering? The sooner she made a decision, the sooner she’d be able to move forward. Despite her mixed feelings, Yeji kept quiet, patiently waiting for Ryujin to make her decision on her own time.

The phone check incident really threw them all off. Thanks to their quick-thinking maknae, they had managed to avoid getting into trouble by a narrow margin. Yeji was extremely thankful for Yuna’s fast reflexes, but hoped that the incident would serve as a wake-up call for Ryujin, to spur into action.

It had the opposite effect.

Yeji believed they had all heard the sound of Ryujin’s heart shattering as she smiled frailly at them, accepting the deleted Kakaotalk app and ultimately, deciding against contacting him ever again.

Yeji should have felt relieved, at peace with whatever decision that Ryujin made. It was Ryujin’s decision to make – that’s what she said. But seeing how broken Ryujin appeared, even more so now than during the night of the festival shook her to the core. And Yeji thought the pains of her own first love was bad. This was on another level.

One last look at Ryujin and she made up her mind. Byeongkwan may have been a jerk, but Yeji couldn’t just leave Ryujin in a state of brokenness when he had reached out. It would have been a waste not to try. She knew that a part of Ryujin wanted to try. So she wrote a note and breathed a quick prayer that everything would go well before passing the note to Hyunjin. After all, her first love was important to Ryujin. So Ryujin’s first love was equally important to her.

Which brought her to the current situation she was in – standing in visible sight to anyone and everyone down the long Board of Directors Hall in the corner with Hyunjin. There were no cameras installed because of how open the area was and anyone could see them, but no one would be able to hear them, thanks to all the pictures along the wall that cut off any possibility of echoing.

This was _their_ spot – the location that she and Hyunjin came together for every ‘Hwang Scheme’ they’ve ever pulled off, successful or not. From simple tasks like secretly ordering pizza while eluding prying eyes of staff and cameras to their greatest achievement of causing a blackout during exam season when they were high school seniors, the ‘Hwang Spot’ was the place of brainstorming, planning, and execution; the place where they made things happen.

Surprisingly, the best advantage of their spot was the fact that it was public. While anyone who happened to pass the hall could see them, they couldn’t really get into too much trouble if they met in the open. JYP was a “family” after all, so staff was cool with co-ed relationships as long as it was in visible sight and never went beyond friendship. Most of their staff members thought they were twins (or somehow related) anyways and while Yeji hated it, she never bothered correcting the notion, as that misconception proved to be beneficial countless of times.

The worst thing they could happen if they were caught was they’d get lectured for skipping practice, but that was a rarity due to Yeji’s reputation as a workholic. If anything, some of the managers seemed to encourage her taking breaks with her ‘twin’ for stress-relief, not realizing that her stress only spiked up whenever she met with Hyunjin. Nevertheless, here she was, with her ‘twin’, her eyes gazing up at him expectantly they reconvened for yet another plot.

**“Don’t eat spicy food right before you perform. It coats your throat so you can’t sing.”** Hyunjin looked almost bored as he recited the words robotically.

“That’s cute.”

“Is it?” Hyunjin replied dryly. “The air changed between us after he said that. He didn’t even look at me when I said bye.”

“It’s thoughtful.” She had a pensive smile on her face. “I’ll make sure to keep her away from it.”

“Good luck with that.” He snorted. “Ryujin loves spicy food.”

“Well, she loves me more.” She stuck out her tongue at him, waving her hand as she turned to leave without a backwards glance at him.

Needless to say, Hyunjin’s prediction about Ryujin’s resistance was true, but Yeji stood corrected by her statement that the younger girl did indeed love Yeji more than her favorite spicy dishes.

“How come you’re only stopping me? You’re not stopping Yuna!” Ryujin all but wailed as she pointed to the youngest behind them.

“No Ryujin. Not today.” Yeji spoke to her in a firm voice, holding the tteokbokki away from her as she stared Ryujin down.

Ryujin pouted and gripped, but in the end, grudgingly obeyed the Itzy leader like she always did. Yeji also made sure to buy Ryujin a fresh, hot batch of tteokbboki on their way home after schedules.

**“Wrap your neck at night so you don’t catch a cold.”** Hyunjin squirmed under Yeji’s judgmental gaze.

“Could you be anymore dramatic?” She rolled her eyes as he squawked.

“I’m just saying what he told me,” He barked defensively, although Yeji could see the soft blush that formed on his cheeks. “Hyung’s so cheesy! Seriously, I can’t take it!

“Then don’t.” She deadpanned. “It’s not meant for you to take.”

“Well, it’s a bit hard not to take when I’m acting as the messenger boy!” He huffed. “Seriously, though? What does Ryujin see in him? I mean no offense to him –I’m sure he’s cool and all– but I thought she was a fan of GOT7. And Jinyoung Sunbaenim is much more-“

“Don’t make fun of him.” She cut him off firmly. “He’s Ryujin’s first love.”

“I wasn’t making fun of him. I’m just stating that-“

“Hyunjin, just ‘cause you want to marry Jinyoung Sunbaenim doesn’t mean everyone else has to.” Her lips quirked up into a smirk as he glared at her.

“I do NOT want to marry him. And even if I did, I can’t! In case you’ve forgotten, homosexual marriage is illegal in the Republic of Korea.”

“Oh gosh, Hyunjin!” She laughed at his sour expression. “You’re too much!”

This one proved to be a little more difficult as Ryujin was not only stronger than Yeji, but also faster than her. The younger darted around in their room, desperately trying to avoid the scarf that Yeji was determined to placed on her neck. But one of Yeji’s greatest strengths was her persistence and tenacity, so in the end, she still came out victorious as she wrapped up her baby snugly, a smug smile on her face as she tucked the ends of the scarf securely into Ryujin’s shirt.

“It’s so hot.” Ryujin whined as Yeji quietly cooed at her.

Ryujin was such a baby that even she couldn’t help but melt at the sight of her. She could see why Byeongkwan fell for her loveable Ryujinie.

“You need to take care of yourself by sleeping,” Yeji looked at her softly. “…And eating well. You look too thin.”

While the words came from Yeji’s heart, a part of her believed that they were probably what Byeongkwan wanted to say to Ryujin as well. Yeji felt as if she was getting to know what type of person he was through the messages he passed on and she certainly liked what she saw. Byeongkwan was awkward, but attentive; he was straightforward, but caring. He was someone who would definitely be good for Ryujin.

**“Make sure you sleep and eat well. You look too thin.”**

Yeji let out a soft giggle, delighted that she was proved corrected that she and Byeongkwan did indeed have the same thoughts regarding Ryujin’s health.

“He’s perfect.” She practically swooned.

“What?”

“’You look too thin.’ ‘Eat more.’ – the words every girl wants to hear!” She smiled serenely, a part of her slightly envious that Ryujin had such a wonderful and mature love interest.

“I don’t get it.” Hyunjin said in a flat tone, interrupting her whimsical thoughts.

“Unlike _someone else_ , who always makes fun of me and has no qualms of calling me fat,” She glared at him for a split second before the dreamy expression was back on her face, “Ryujin’s Oppa seems to be very considerate.”

“I never called you fat!”

“You implied it! Many times!”

“When?!”

It amazed her that he could pull a faux innocent face even now, a furrow in his brows as he crinkled his nose.

“Yesterday, when we were eating pizza!” She hissed at him. “You asked me, ‘Are you really going to eat all of that?’ Like you were appalled at me!”

“I only asked because you said your stomach wasn’t feeling well!” His eyes narrowed and he took a step back, as if he were offended.

“Whatever.” She rolled her eyes, ignoring how he made a face at her.

Typical Hyunjin acting like a drama king when he was the one who started the drama in the first place. Well, at least the drama king made himself useful.

Yeji made sure to order all of Ryujin’s favorites whenever they were late-night snacking. By this point, the sparkle in Ryujin’s eyes had started to return, a genuine smile gracing her face as they ate together. Yeji had never felt more relieved to see her Ryujin’s appetite return.

“What’s the occasion Unni?” Ryujin asked, her cheeks stuffed with spicy stir-fry. “You don’t really like spicy food.”

“But you do.” Yeji smiled and tucked a stray strand of hair behind Ryujin’s ear, melting inside at how cute her Ryujinie looked as she puffed up her cheeks looking like a chipmunk.

“… What about me?” Yuna looked petulantly at the Itzy leader.

“Don’t act up when you like spicy food too.” Chaeryeong glowered. “We’re the ones who are suffering here.”

She gestured to herself and Lia who sat in the corner of the table, watching the other three members dig into the spicy goodness that they had no tolerance for.

“I ordered blood sausages too…” Yeji tried, only to shrink back in shame at Chaeryeong’s blank expression.

“It’s ok.” Lia smiled warmly, which only caused Yeji to feel even guiltier. “… Next time, let’s just get chicken please.”

Next time ended up being the next day, due to Yeji feeling wracked with guilt about her blatant ~~favoritism~~ babying. She ordered chicken and pizza and made sure to pass it to Chaeryeong first, who smiled brightly and nuzzled her arm indicating that all was forgiven. She was the leader of Itzy, after all, not just of Ryujin.

**‘Don’t listen to the haters. You shine wherever you are’** Hyunjin cringed, his body moving into dance as he tried to shake the feelings of cheesiness from within.

“I think that was the best one yet.” Yeji tried to stifle her laugh, but was helpless against the giggles that escaped her belly.

“You should have seen the way he said it too.” He let out a groan. “He made sure to say it super loud for EVERYONE in the waiting room to hear. Manager Hyung started calling referring to him as ‘my man’. ‘Hyunjin-ie, you’re going to see your man today?’”

This time, Yeji did laugh, so loud that the bright sound echoed through the hallway that was supposed to be sound-proof. He hissed, his cheeks blowing up with hot air as he glared at her.

“You’re not planning to steal Ryujin’s man now are you?” She teased.

“Well, apparently, he’s MY MAN now, so technically it’d be her stealing MY MAN if something happens.”

The sound of her effervescent laughter was the only thing she could give him in response.

And so it continued – months passing on end where Hyunjin would retrieve a message from Byeongkwan and Yeji would make sure to relay it to its intended recipient. Lucky for her, Ryujin was pretty dense and while she would whine or complain as Yeji fussed over her, never seemed suspicious that the actions were out-of-the-ordinary. In fact, she started becoming used to Yeji’s care, accepting as well as reciprocating her own gestures of love. Which lead Yeji to the current problem at hand.

“So… exactly when are you planning on telling her?” Hyunjin raised an eyebrow as her eyes flitted around nervously.

That was the problem. All the sweet gestures that Yeji had been doing for Ryujin, well… Ryujin believed it was all from her. Yeji hadn’t mentioned once about Byeongkwan. Nobody did. He was erased from all their group’s conversations and he had been for a while. In fact, it almost seemed as if Ryujin didn’t like him anymore. Yuna certainly believed it and even tried to get the older members to bet against her.

“40,000 won that Ryujin Unni doesn’t like that Oppa anymore.” She smiled slyly, sneaking a glance at the said-member who was across the room talking on the phone with her mom and unaware of the youngest’s attempts to make money off of her.

“We all know it’s true. What’s the point of betting?” Chaeryeong didn’t even bother looking up from her phone.

“I’m glad she’s moved on.” Lia nodded with a smile. “Our Ryujin deserves better.”

But here’s the thing. If Ryujin had actually moved on, Yeji would have been screwed because – 1) she’d been corresponding with said-Oppa for over four months now, and 2) the said-Oppa was supposed to meet Ryujin for graduation.

While Yeji kept quiet during her members’ exchange, she was relieved to say the least that she knew how wrong they were.

How did she know?

  1. Ryujin started daydreaming again during their breaks, a look on her face that Yeji had only seen when she was thinking about a certain someone. 
  2. Ryujin’s favorite spotify playlist consisted of 3 ACE albums with a handful of songs from GOT7
  3. Yeji may have heard Ryujin say “Oppa” a few times in her sleep, although she’d never expose her baby’s secret like that



So over Byeongkwan? The leader thought NOT.

With that being said, how was Yeji supposed to get Ryujin WITH Byeongkwan?

She bit her lower lip as her eyes kept darting around, racking her brain for any possible idea on how to move forward with her plan, on how to gently share the truth.

“I don’t get why you’re so invested in this.” Hyunjin squinted at her, his eyes full of suspicion. “You’ve had me go back-and-forth with Hyung for months now and you’re not even telling Ryujin.”

“I’ll tell her soon enough…” Her voice faltered, hesitation obvious on her cat-like features.

“What’s the point of doing this if you’re not even gonna let them meet?” He pressed, only adding to her anxiety.

“… I’ll think of something.”

“And what are you going to do about graduation? Are you really gonna spring this on her the day of her graduation? ‘Surprise! I contacted your first love and he’s waiting for you at the park. Go get him.’ Ryujin and Byeongkwan, Go! Go! Go!”

Only Hwang Hyunjin had such a diverse range of emotions that he could change his voice tone from suspicious to annoying in a span of five seconds with an arrogant smirk painted on his face.

Yeji didn’t even think twice about smacking him across the chest with her arm.

“I swear, Hyunjin! You have a knack about making everything worse! I don’t need you to add to my stress.” She scowled through gritted teeth, glaring at him as he chuckled.

“I’m just trying to help.” His sing-song voice along with his devious expression clearly indicated otherwise. “You’re planning on dropping the bomb on her. Someone needs to help you with your lack of tact.”

“ **YOU’RE** the **MOST** tactless!” She huffed at him. “I’m just trying to help my friend!”

“With what?” He shot back, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Enlighten me, Hwang Yeji. Exactly what are you helping Ryujin with?”

He took a step closer to her, raising an eyebrow as she paused, a pout on her lips as she thought about how to put her feelings into words.

“… He’s Ryujin’s first love.” She finally said, slow and steady.

“So?” He shrugged flippantly. “Why is that so important?”

“… Isn’t a first love special?” A wistful smile appeared on her face, along with a faraway look in her eyes. “First love… It’s a special thing.”

She blinked away the hazy image that attempted to place itself in her mind, refusing to let her past come back to disturb her right now.

“And I want Ryujin to be happy-”

“What happened to your first love?” His cold voice cut her off abruptly, slicing through her explanation like a knife.

Startled, Yeji turned to focus her eyes on him, only to feel even more lost at how his eyes had hardened.

“Wha-“ She felt so bewildered, but he interrupted her again.

“Your first love.” His voice was dark as he took a step closer to her, eyes stormy with emotions she had never seen before.

_The hazy image reappeared, clearing up slowly to unveil two individuals._

“… I had one.” She answered evasively, a blush forming on her cheeks.

“When? Who was it? Do I know him?” He took a couple more steps towards her, his body language brimming with curiosity.

“Th-that’s none of your business.” She stuttered, turning away from him as her face turned completely red.

_One of the persons was Yeji._

“Seeing how you’re so red in the face, seems like I do.”

“No, you don’t! And we are NOT talking about this!” Her hands came up to shove him away before he could get even closer to her.

_The other person’s face was blurry. It was slowly clearing **– No!**_

“Who is it?”

“No-“

**_Stop. I don’t want to remember._ **

“Is he at our company-“

“Hyunjin, I said-“

“Do you still love-“

“Stop!”

**_Stop! Too late._ **

_He smiled, but only with his mouth and not his eyes. His lips that usually said only the sweetest of words were pressed tightly together as if they had been sewn shut. The eyes that usually brimmed with life were brittle and cold._

Her eyes welled up with tears as her body began to tremble. Hyunjin froze, shock morphing on his features as he gazed at her rendered speechless.

“… I said stop.” Her voice was small and Yeji hated that she had to appear so weak, especially in front of him.

To her horror, a tear escaped her eye. She immediately wiped it away and turned around so she wasn’t facing him anymore.

“I appreciate all your help, but please stay out of my business… It’s none of your concern.”

And with that, she left him, walking as fast as she could without looking back. But it was too late, the confessional words that haunted her day and night coming back in full-force, pounding in her head.

_‘I missed you. I missed you. I missed you. I missed you. I missed you. I missed you.’_

**_The deep shadow that cast over his eyes thanks to the cap he wore. The fake half-smile that appeared on his face. The way he shifted uncomfortably on his feet from left-to-right. The black shirt that clung to his back as he ran away. The box of Homerun Ball left untouched, carelessly placed on the table._ **

She remembered too much.

Why was she so invested in helping Ryujin? Simple. Because everyone deserved a happy ending. Because while Yeji’s love story may have failed, she’d do anything in her power to make sure her friend’s didn’t. Because no one should have ever had to go through what Yeji went through, especially Ryujin.

No one should have had to deal with her favorite words being the greatest reminder of heartbreak.

**_“I missed you.”_ ** ****

**_“… Bye Hwang Yeji.”_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Our ever-caring Itzy leader~   
> She's truly the best isn't she? :D
> 
> On a side note: Why is it so easy to end a chapter with angst? I've got to be more intentional about making them end on a happier/neutral note.
> 
> As always, thanks for reading and feel free to leave feedback as well as your guesses on who caused Yeji's heartbreak.


	3. Uncertainty

_Yeji sucked in a deep breath, mustering up all her courage to say the words she’d been wanting to say for a while._

_“I missed you.” Her dry throat caused her to voice to break off as she laid down her raw feelings in front of him._

_A deep shadow cast over his eyes thanks to the cap he wore. He shifted uncomfortably on his feet from left-to-right._

_He let out an airy laugh, a laugh that sounded so fake that she felt as if he had dropped her heart._

_“… Bye Hwang Yeji.”_

_And with that, he dashed away, literally running away from her and her feelings that she had laid in front of him, the box of Homerun Balls left untouched and careless on the table._

_The black shirt clung to his back as he ran away._

“Unni?”

Yeji blinked hard twice, effectively snapping out of it to turn her attention to the person standing in front of her.

“You said you’d play with me. Clash?” Yuna looked at her expectantly.

Yeji let out a weary sigh but dutifully took out her phone.

“You’ll have to teach me. I’m terrible at games.” She gave the younger girl a wry smile, who perked up happily.

“Don’t worry! I’m an excellent teacher! Manager Unni says so!” The maknae puffed up proudly, scampering onto the couch next to her.

“Good to know.” Yeji chuckled at the youngest’s cuteness as she turned back to her phone to open the game.

“And Unni?”

“Hmm?” From the corner of her eye, Yeji could see Yuna squirming she turned her attention back to the youngest curiously.

Yuna hesitated, slightly fidgeting with her hands before speaking again.

“… I’m sorry for the other day.” She spoke quietly, taking Yeji’s hand in hers as she looked at her remorsefully.

Yeji blinked in confusion.

“What?”

“I made you upset… About Hyunjin Oppa.”

Oh that.

Ryujin may have been blissfully ignorant of everything that was happening, but the same couldn’t be said for her other members who caught her in the hall with Hyunjin a number of times. None of them ever brought it up so she believed they had all matured (thankfully), allowing her to meet with Hyunjin without any teasing. She should have known that it was too good to be true and that her members were all a bunch of middle-aged women stuck in youthful bodies, just as nosy or even more so than anyone else. She had been fussing over Ryujin during one of their breaks, nothing out of the ordinary, when her members decided it was the perfect time to begin their interrogation.

_“You haven’t fallen for me, have you?” Ryujin winked with a flirty tone, standing up taller as she ran her fingers through her hair as if she was the main protagonist of those cheesy Korean dramas they all loved to binge watch._

_Yeji found it completely endearing, but rolled her eyes._

_“You’re too reckless for me.” She felt her lips curve up into a smile as she played along. “I prefer someone calm.”_

_“Hyunjin Oppa’s not calm.”_

**_Say what?_ **

_Yeji froze as the youngest looked up at her with eyes glittering with trouble._

**_No... This was not happening now-_ **

_“Hyunjin?” Ryujin looked at her with the same twinkling eyes Yuna had, an excited tone in her voice as she leaned towards Yeji with interest. “You have something going on with Hyunjin-“_

_“It’s nothing.” Yeji tried to play it off coolly._

_Only she didn’t sound cool. She sounded panicked and guilty, completely suspicious._

_“Have you been hanging out with Hyunjin?” Ryujin looked a bit surprised as she looked over Yeji’s shoulder, seeking confirmation from the youngest._

_“Where have you been?” Yuna’s voice made Yeji recoil as the maknae stared at them in incredulity. “They’re always hanging out!”_

**_Oh my gosh. Kill her now._ **

_“No, we’re not-“_

_“Even the Stray Kids Oppas have noticed!” Yuna interrupted her in the sassiest voice Yeji had ever heard._

_At that, her jaw dropped open at the blatant disrespect of being cut off so rudely by the maknae who looked at her defiantly. The worst part was no one stepped in to defend her._

_On the floor, she could see Chaeryeong smirking as Lia pressed a hand over her mouth to suppress her giggles._

**_Was this really happening? Was everybody against her?_ **

_She turned to Ryujin, only for her heart to sink at how the other was jutting her lip out into a pout._

_“I can’t believe you told everyone but me.” She said in wounded tone, causing Yeji’s eye to twitch. “I thought you loved me.”_

_“I’m telling you, it’s not like that!” She raised her voice, shaking her head as she looked at her members forcefully._

_“Sure it’s not. You just happen to meet every day at the end of the dark hallway, where everyone can see you, but no one can hear you. Not suspicious at all.”_

**_Darn Shin Yuna and her loose tongue. And what? Were they seriously insinuating that they believed she and HYUNJIN were DATING? In some sort of relationship? Oh… My… GOSH! NO!_ **

_Yeji shut her eyes tightly as she took in a deep breath, doing her best to control her temper. When she opened her eyes, she almost jumped in fright at Ryujin’s face – eyes wide and mouth dropped open._

_“We do NOT meet every day!” Yeji spoke with a strong voice, gazing at all the members with hardened eyes. “And it’s not like that!”_

**_Yeji would rather have all her teeth be pulled out, two left feet, a dating scandal with Daehwi, ANYTHING ELSE than anyone even suggest the thought of her having a relationship with HWANG FRIGGEN’ HYUNJIN._ **

**_Just the thought of it made her want to vomit. What happened to everyone thinking they were twins? Wouldn’t it be considered incest?_ **

_“Nothing wrong if it is.” Chaeryeong gave her an innocent smile. “You can trust us. We won’t tell anyone.”_

**_No way on EARTH, in GOT7’s NAME, was this happening right now. Was anybody even listening to her?_ **

_“It’s not!” She all but screamed, looking at them wildly._

**_What sin had she committed that God would abandon her like this? With all of her members looking at her with wolfish smiles as they cornered her? Why was she cursed with members who didn’t listen to her? Why her? Why?_ **

_“Ok, it’s not. It’s not. I believe you.”_

_A warm hand rubbed her back in soothing strokes and Ryujin couldn’t have sounded kinder than she did in this moment._

_“I believe you.” She smiled at Yeji, her eyes full of complete confidence._

**_And God was real. Yeji practically melted at those doe-eyes that gazed at her with perfect trust. At least she was blessed with one member who wasn’t keen on driving her off the deep end. She sighed and relaxed into the arms that wrapped around her. And they all wondered why Ryujin was her baby._ **

**_But there was a micro thought, nagging at her from the back of her head and she was bothered. She was bothered that the person who should have trusted her the least, the person whose confidence she was breaking, was the person who trusted her the most._ **

**_At that moment, Yeji wanted to come clean. She wanted to tell Ryujin everything; tell her that Ryujin’s first love liked her; tell her how he was anticipating to seeing her in February; that in a few months, she could see him. Ryujin was the only one who deserved to know the truth about why she was meeting with Hyunjin._ **

_So Yeji opened her mouth._

**_‘We’re meeting for you. Hyunjin’s been carrying messages from that Oppa. Byeongkwan Oppa misses you and is scheduled to see you in February. Anything you want to say back to him?’_ **

_Those were the words she wanted to say._

_“It’s not... You know who it actually is.” These were the words she actually said, whispering into Ryujin’s ear as a secret for only them to hear._

Yeji winced at the memory. She wanted to kick herself at how stupid she was. Why the heck did she mention that? She had made it a point NOT to think about love at all, much less her first love. And yet, that was the first thing that came into her mind. She ended up jinxing herself because thanks to that, she almost drowned in past memories of heartbreak when she met Hyunjin a day later.

It had been 3 days since that incident and Yeji hadn’t spoken with Hyunjin since. To be honest, a part of her never wanted to speak to him ever again. She wanted to die in embarrassment every time she thought of how she had practically burst into tears in front of him, and over her first love that nobody was supposed to know about. Yeji was soft by nature and cried easily. She wasn’t proud of it, but it was just a part of who she was. That being said, that didn’t mean she was willing to cry in front of anyone and everyone.

The last time she had cried like that in front of Hyunjin was two years ago when it was decided that Stray Kids would debut before her. Hyunjin, being the insensitive prat that he was, thought it’d be the perfect time to gloat about how he won the bet they made when they were young trainees about who would debut first. That lead to one of the biggest fights that they had, with both of them bawling their eyes out (mainly because their dance teacher and Chan Oppa let them both have it).

Hyunjin was one of the people she hated crying in front of the most because he was so similar to her. Rather than calming her down, he’d start crying as well. And then they would be stuck together, two crybabies glaring at each other through their tears for whatever stupid reason they fought over.

She let out a soft groan, putting her hands over her eyes when a voice interrupted her self-reproach.

“… I’m sorry Unni.”

Oh that’s right. Yuna was still with her. And poor Yuna thought she was the one who caused Yeji’s distress when in reality, it was her own stupidity.

Yeji put her hands down and couldn’t help but smile at the sincere forlorn expression on Yuna’s face.

“It’s alright.” She hummed, opening her arms so she could pull the youngest to her. “… I guess I can see why you’d think that way.”

Even though Yeji wanted to retch at the horrendous thought of being in a relationship with the other Hwang, she really couldn’t blame her members for questioning her considering how much time they’ve been spending together. The last time she and Hyunjin met that often was last year, the time leading up to their exam blackout prank, and they had only met consistently for one month. Right now, she had been going on with Hyunjin for over four months with no prank or plan visible in sight. For outsiders, dating seemed to be a plausible explanation.

“Well, yeah… You guys are meeting often and are secretive.” Yuna muttered unhappily while snuggling closer in her arms nonetheless. “It seems like everyone has secrets these days.”

“Everyone?” Yeji blinked in confusion as the youngest let out a huff.

“Maybe not everyone has secrets, but everyone’s BUSY. Ryujin Unni’s still kinda out of it, Chaeryung Unni and Lia Unni are always together, and you’re meeting up with Hyunjin Oppa. It’s like no one’s around even when we’re altogether… And I’M supposed to be the busy one since I’m the High School Freshman, but I’m not. I’m lonely.”

That tugged on Yeji’s heartstrings and she pursed her lips sympathetically. She hadn’t realized she had been so occupied with Ryujin that she had neglected her actual baby. She felt guilty at hearing how Yuna felt left out. It wasn’t Yuna’s fault. What could she do to make the youngest feel better?

“… I can’t tell you everything right now,” Yeji slowly exhaled, “But I can promise you it’s nothing bad. He’s helping me with something.”

Just as she had hoped, Yuna immediately brightened at the crumb of information she was fed.

“Another Hwang Scheme?” She asked cheekily.

“I guess you can say that.” Yeji smiled. “This one’s taking a while though.”

“Can I know once you guys carry it out?”

“Of course, Baby.” Yeji pressed a feather-like kiss on the top of Yuna’s head, who let out a squeak of disgust that contradicted the pleasant smile on her face.

All seemed to be well after that, the cheerful continence back on Yuna’s face as she taught Yeji how to navigate through the game.

“… But Jeongin was right.” Suddenly, there was a pout on Yuna’s lips.

“Hmm?” Yeji asked distractedly, doing her best not to die for nth time as she focused on the game.

“He’s the only one who believed Hyunjin Oppa when he said you guys were planning something.”

“Hyunjin said what?” Yeji panicked faster than she knew was possible, but luckily, the youngest was too sour at the thought of the Stray Kids maknae one-uping her to notice.

“He said that you guys had a plan and that it was his idea and you were helping him out with it… Which is kind of a lie because you just said he’s helping you. Wait – who’s helping whom?”

Yeji immediately relaxed into a smile as Yuna became cross-eyed at trying to figure out what was happening.

It was silly of her to doubt Hyunjin even for a second. He may have been a drama king, but he was the best at keeping secrets so she shouldn’t have to worry. He wouldn’t betray her like that. Yeji didn’t even mind that he switched it around, lying that it was his idea rather than hers. The Stray Kids members wouldn’t have believed him if he told them the truth anyways.

Nobody could believe Yeji plotted anything. She was too good, too boring, always playing by the rules. The handful of times their schemes ended unsuccessfully, Hyunjin always got the brute of the punishment simply because nobody would believe that she could initiate pranks on her own. Hyunjin would insist, sometimes at the verge of tears, that he was the one roped into her plan, only to be met with a cold reception as the staff members growled at him to keep his head down.

The thing was, the staff were only half-right. It was true that Yeji never initiated any of the pranks that got them into trouble. Those were usually the fault of Hyunjin or some other trainees who put them up to task. With that being said, she didn’t feel an ounce of guilt when Hyunjin got slammed for trying to drag her into the dirt with him during the times of discipline. However, they were half-wrong in assuming that Yeji never planned anything. She did. It just happened to be all her plans were successful.

It was in her nature as a perfectionist to only pull off the most thorough and elaborate schemes, covering all her bases so that there was no way of getting caught. Their greatest scheme of all time, the blackout during exam season may have been Hyunjin’s idea, but it was Yeji who came up with the exact steps on how to execute it. It was a collaborative effort done to perfection.

Yeji had wanted to tear all her hair out then as she struggled to keep afloat through her last few weeks of school and debut schedule. Surprisingly, it was Hyunjin that kept her sane during that time. She could still remember the mischievous glint in his eyes, his lips quirked up into a devious smirk as he casually brought up his idea when they were munching on a package of Choco Boys.

Now that she thought about it, everyone thought they were dating then too because of how frequently they would gather. Leading up to the plan, she could remember all her members dropping unsubtle hints left and right that it wasn’t a right time for any of them to be in a relationship with their upcoming debut.

She shuddered and shook off the chills that came with that thought.

Nevertheless, they managed to successfully pull of their scheme as well as earn the title, ‘Hwang Heroes’ for the day. That day was also the acting catalyst for all of them to truly bond as the “4th Generation JYP Squad” (Jisung’s and Hyunjin’s idea, not hers). Stray Kids and Itzy developed a sense of camaraderie, following the steps of their predecessors at JYP. While Yeji may have not been super close to all the Stray Kids members, she could say with confidence that she liked all of them and certainly enjoyed their fellowship with her Itzy members. She was pretty sure that they would all agree with her sentiment – they being everyone except for two particular individuals in their squad.

“Yuna-yah…” Yeji watched Yuna carefully.

“Yes Unni?” Yuna asked distractedly, her attention back to the phone game.

“Isn’t Jeongin an oppa to you?” She smiled as Yuna’s head shot up from her phone and her lips twisted into a grimace.

“I ain’t calling him that.”

“Why not?” She teased as the youngest made a face.

“He’s not an oppa! He’s not even a friend! He’s just a human being, breathing in the same air space as me.”

“At least, she still considers him human rather than an alien.” Chaeryeong added unhelpfully as she came to join them in the living room, Lia and Ryujin trailing behind her with snacks in their arms.

“That would be an insult to aliens.” Yuna grumbled as the other members came to join them near the couch, Lia sitting herself on the other side of the maknae as Chaeryeong and Ryujin lounged on the floor.

Yeji let out a soft laugh, wrapping a comforting arm around Yuna’s shoulders.

“What did he do this time?” Yeji asked in a soft voice, looking down at her fondly.

If she thought she and Hyunjin had it bad, Jeongin and Yuna were worse. At least she and her ‘twin’ had an extraordinary sense of teamwork and could pull themselves together when it came to pulling off pranks. The two youngest in their respective groups couldn’t agree on anything, with their shrilly voices raised loud enough to shake the entire building as they went at each other. They had given each other enough sneers, insults, and dirty looks to last a lifetime as well as exchanged barbs so petty that it was like watching a comedy sitcom.

_“Jeongin? Why don’t you just Jeong-OUT?!” Yuna shrieked, eyes flashing with anger as they were pulled apart by their older members._

_“You get out!” He howled unapologetically. “This is the Stray Kids practice room! Yun-OFF!”_

_“Foxy boy! You’re so shameless!”_

_“Says the REAL shameless one!”_

And of course, their favorite lines:

_“She started it!”_

_“You started it, Acorn-head!”_

_“Acorn-head?!”_

They could go on for hours, for days. It was in those moments, Yeji was extremely thankful for the Stray Kids’ leader. Chan Oppa was not only older, but also more experienced and patient than she was to deal with the maknae shenanigans.

 _“Enough! Both of you.”_ Chan would cough as he kept on a serious face.

At that point, Yeji could only stare at the floor, at the wall, anywhere else than at the youngest two, afraid of being passed out on the floor like their other members, passed out laughing from the ridiculousness of it all. By the time Chan got involved, everyone else was already long gone, wheezing and holding their stomachs as they watched their youngest members duke it out with heightened interest.

Hyunjin was the absolute worst to be around during those times, often being the first to have been blown away by the maknaes’ spectacle. He’d be on the floor, leaning against the wall with tears in his eyes, his lips ripped into such a wide smile that everybody could see his molars. And he’d keep trying to catch Yeji’s eye, knowing that the moment their gazes met, she’d be a goner too. She’d try to avoid his stare, but for some reason, her eyes would peek up and at that exact moment, she’d find herself staring into a mirror pair of brown eyes. She’d choke before looking away, trying to stifle the sound that threatened to erupt from stomach as she watched him let out another hearty laugh from the corner of her eyes.

There were a number of reasons for the maknae feud, but everyone knew the main reason was due to one specific individual.

“I was literally just saying ‘hi’ to Oppa and he just butts in!” Yuna bristled. “That jerk!”

There was only one ‘Oppa’ in Yuna’s heart. Not ‘that Oppa’, not ‘name-Oppa’, but just ‘Oppa’ – her favorite Oppa. Unfortunately, Yuna’s favorite Oppa was also Jeongin’s favorite Hyung.

“And then he just dragged Oppa away! Even though I haven’t seen him in a long time. It’s not fair! He gets Oppa every day and he can’t even spare me 2 minutes to say hi?!” Yuna continued her tirade, outrage all over her face as she recounted what happened earlier that week. “He’s such a foxy boy!”

Yeji tried, she really did. She didn’t think it was nice to laugh at anyone’s distress. But Yuna was too dramatic and extra for her own good that Yeji was sure even God was chuckling as she and the other three members burst into a fit of laughter.

“Meanies! All of you! I’m being serious and you’re laughing at me!” The youngest let out a wail as she pushed Yeji away from her.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry.” Yeji tried to swallow back her laugh, only for more giggles to come out. “I’m not laughing at you, I promise.”

“We totally are.” Ryujin wheezed, laying on the floor and clutching her stomach.

“Really?” Chaeryeong giggled, shaking her head. “You fought over Jisung Oppa?”

“Again?” Lia covered her mouth, her eyes crinkling up in a smile.

“It wouldn’t be a fight if Jeongin wasn’t so needy!” Yuna spat out. “He’s like a jealous girlfriend who comes running every time I even look in Oppa’s direction!”

Han Jisung, also known as the apple of Jeongin’s and Yuna’s eyes. Their competition for the older boy’s affections started long before their debut, during their trainee period. Jeongin was the initial recipient of the older boy’s care, being one of the youngest and cutest male trainees at JYP. That’s just how it was – the unnis took care of the girls and the hyungs looked out for the younger boys. But that changed with the arrival of Shin Yuna.

Yuna was arguably one of the cutest trainees to ever set foot in JYP, with her big eyes, bright smile, and short stature. Her shyness only lasted for about 10 seconds before her bold and cheeky personality was revealed to all. And part of that cheeky personality came with determination to become the new favorite, specifically Jisung’s favorite. It didn’t take too long for Yuna to become completely taken with the older boy, her eyes sparkling with admiration and a beaming smile on her as she rushed to his side.

But who could blame her? Jisung was one of the friendliest individuals to walk the face of the earth, even more so the JYP grounds. As trainees, he was the one who made them all laugh during their group games, who came up with the silliest ideas, and who was the most social out of all the male trainees. By that point in time, there was double the number of trainees that there were when Jeongin first arrived and he was surrounded by doting hyungs on all sides so nobody thought he’d blink an eye at the newcomer who warmed her way into Jisung’s heart.

Boy, how wrong they all were.

The resident baby boy who had seemed long apathetic towards Jisung’s affections had suddenly become very clingy in the face of a new rival. Whenever Yuna was around, Jeongin made it a point to be draped all over Jisung, as if he were marking his territory. Had Yuna been any other girl, she would have probably given up and found a new Oppa to bond with. But Yuna was not just any other girl and was just as stubborn as Jeongin so she fought back.

Jeongin may have had the advantage of sharing the most time and space with Jisung, but Yuna’s greatest advantage was her femininity. She’d pour out her aegyo, cling to his arm in a way only she as a cute girl could do, compliment him every chance she got – heck, she even gave him chocolates on Valentines’ Day.

Jisung never took sides, never verbally stated a favorite. He would simply shower his open affection on both of them, laugh good-naturedly when they demanded to know his favorite between the two, and take care of them in his own way as best as he could. In fact, he had his own theory that the two maknaes’ obsession with him wasn’t because they liked _him,_ but rather something else. If Yeji was being completely honest, they all kind of low-key agreed with Jisung’s theory.

“You know… If a boy’s mean to you, that means he likes you.” Lia smiled as Yuna snorted.

“What type of preschool play is that?” She snapped. “What are we? 4 years old? He’s being mean ‘cause he’s MEAN!”

“You never know,” Ryujin coughed. “He could just be bad at expressing his feelings.”

“He’s TOO good at expressing himself.” Yuna scowled, fed up with the numerous implications about Jeongin. “He doesn’t like me! If anything, he likes Jisung Oppa! Too much!”

“Cheer up. Jeongin can have him now, but you can have Jisung Oppa forever when you marry him.” Chaeryeong said with an innocent face, causing them all to break into giggles again.

Yeji was sure they all expected Yuna to huff and blow up her cheeks. They expected their maknae to blush as she stammered she didn’t like Jisung in that way. They certainly didn’t expect for Yuna to throw herself onto the floor with a moan.

“Why can’t I have him now and Jeongin marry him later?” Yuna whined.

Lia was laughing so hard that tears had formed in her eyes as Ryujin struggled to breath, holding onto Chaeryeong for support, who was also dying of laughter. Yeji could only lay on the couch, shaking with mirth as she shook her head at Yuna’s theatrics. What were they going to do with Shin Yuna?

It had been two weeks with still no word from Hyunjin. And Yeji was glad.

Ryujin had been doing a lot better, seemed to be getting more rest. She slept through the night without sleep-talking and sometimes, even slept in longer than Yeji. She surprised Yeji the other morning with a sudden kiss on the cheek as she skipped away with a light hum.

Yeji had never felt so relieved as she watched Ryujin and Yuna tease Lia during their break. Her baby was finally almost back to normal, the genuine sparkle in her eyes returning. She let out a breath of content when her phone buzzed in her hands.

**Tonight? Midnight. 8:34 PM**

Yeji suppressed a sigh. She really didn’t want to face Hyunjin yet, but knew that she’d have to sooner than later. She reluctantly typed a reply.

**Ok 8:35 PM**

She closed her eyes momentarily as she leaned her head back against the mirror. Even if she felt embarrassed, they were still involved in a plot together. He was still helping her and she still had a mission to fulfill.

She opened her eyes and stood up on her feet, her eyes filled with newfound determination as she called the girls over to restart their practice.

“I’m not sure if Hyung meant it for me or for Ryujin. Maybe for both, but **‘Take care of yourself.’”**

“… What?” She looked at him blankly, causing him to flush.

“We were talking and then all of a sudden he told me that. Then he left! So I didn’t know if it was for me or for her.”

“… Right.” She gave him a curt nod. “Ok.”

For a moment, they stood in silence, with Hyunjin looking down at Yeji with that unreadable expression he’d have on his face once in a while. It was the same one he gave to her two weeks ago when he pressed her about her first love – the look that made her throat go dry and her voice shut down immediately.

Her mind flashed back.

**_The deep shadow that cast over his eyes thanks to the cap he wore. The fake half-smile that appeared on his face. The way he shifted uncomfortably on his feet from left-to-right. The black shirt that clung to his back as he ran away. The box of Homerun Ball-_ **

She forced the memory away with two hard blinks.

“… I’m going.” She started to back away from him, unable to completely break away from his gaze when he spoke.

“I’m sorry.” His soft voice caused her to freeze. “… I overstepped my boundaries.”

The unreadable expression had melted into a gaze of subdued remorse.

“It’s fine.” She said tiredly, closing her eyes.

She shouldn’t have been mad at Hyunjin. It wasn’t his fault she got rejected. She couldn’t stay mad too long at Hyunjin anyways.

“It’s not fine.” He grunted. “I made you uncomfortable. I’m sorry-“

“He’s not here.” Her quiet voice cut through his.

He looked at her in shock, but she stared back at him unfazed.

“He’s not here, but you do know him. Everybody does. I confessed and got rejected… And that’s all I’m going to tell you.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know Hyunjin,” She let out a bitter laugh. “Probably because he didn’t like me back. Or maybe I just wasn’t his type-“

“Not that,” He interrupted her with a sharp tone. “I mean why are you telling me this?”

“I owe you one.”

This time, he froze.

“Actually, I owe you a lot.” She smiled dryly. “You’ve been helping me so much, all this time. I heard from Yuna that everyone thinks we have something going on.”

She cringed as she remembered the conversation with her youngest. If her members were nosy about her business, she didn’t even want to think about how it was for Hyunjin with seven other members.

“I’m sorry for putting you through such a situation. But thanks.” She smiled gratefully at him.

She meant it. She was truly grateful for Hyunjin, who was acting as the middle-man for her and Byeongkwan, despite the various obstacles that she was sure came with it. No amount of heartbreaking memories could take that away.

“I’m glad I have such a reliable ‘brother’,” She ribbed, a small smile tugging on her lips as he returned a half-smile.

She waved and turned to head back to her practice when he spoke again.

“Can I ask you one more question?” His faltering voice caused her to face him with a quizzing look on her face.

“… Shoot.” She nodded at him.

He took in a breath, inhaling slowly before locking his eyes onto hers.

“Do you still like him?”

It was a simple question that required a simple answer – Yes or No.

Yeji didn’t know why she found herself unable to answer, her voice caught in her throat as her brain struggled to come up with answer.

Yes or No?

Yes. Yes, she didn’t ever want to run into him again. Yes, her heart still stung when she remembered their last meaningful interaction. Yes, she couldn’t eat Homerun Balls without being reminded of him. Yes, her heart still fluttered when she remembered that lazy smile on his face as well as how his eyes crinkled into crescent moons whenever he laughed.

But at the same time, no. No, she wasn’t thinking about him every free second of the day like she used to; she wasn’t thinking about him at all. No, she didn’t have dreams of him, like Ryujin did. No, she didn’t mind if her members ever brought him up, didn’t care if they danced or sang his songs. No, she passed by him a number of times after debut and was too tired to bat an eye.

Yes or No? Did she like him or not?

“… I don’t know.” Her voice was quiet when she finally spoke again.

And that was the truth. She really didn’t know what she felt for him, but probably because Hyunjin asked the wrong question. The question shouldn’t have been, ‘Do you still like him?’ The question should have been “Does it still hurt?”

The answer to that question would have been more certain. But since he didn’t ask that question, Yeji didn’t give him that answer and repeated to him the only 3 words she could.

**“I don’t know.”**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Today's chapter was about context, which is why it may seem kind of slow.  
> But hey, who doesn't enjoy seeing our Itzy happy family? :)
> 
> As always, thanks for reading and stay tuned for the next chapter.


	4. Heartbreak & JYP Squad

_Yeji was in a dream._

_How did she know it was a dream? Because she was at a party that she had absolutely no business of attending. To put it more clearly, she was at a ball, like one of those dance balls people read about in fairy tales, wearing a beautiful, long festive gown that brushed against the floor._

_She took in her surroundings – a glorious banquet hall with chandeliers hanging from all over the ceiling; gold ribbons and glass décor on display everywhere; walls painted with abstract sceneries that she remembered seeing in her high school history class; tables filled with fancy hor d'oeuvres from one end to the other; beautiful couples waltzing together in the center as the musical trope played classical melodies._

_She glanced around, trying to see if there was anyone she recognized. She spotted Jisung and Chan Oppa in the back getting refreshments, noticed Jeongin standing on the side with a boy she was sure she had seen before but couldn’t remember the name of, saw Jaebum and Jinyoung Sunbaenims on the staircase with wine glasses as they conversed. She didn’t see any of her members so she let out a disappointed sigh when suddenly her eyes caught sight of a familiar pair of individuals on the dance floor._

_Ryujin and… Hyunjin?!_

_She gasped as she watched them dance in harmony, mirror smiles of delight as they gazed at each other in a way that looked too intimate to be platonic. Out of all the couples, they were the most beautiful, moving with such grace that she couldn’t help but stare for a moment. She broke out of her trance and turned away, deciding it was time to preserve her eyes as soon as she saw Hyunjin lean in closer._

_Yep, definitely a dream. Ryujin and Hyunjin? Visually appealing, but no. Yeji had spent four-close-to-five months on Ryujin’s romance with another boy and there was no dream that could take that away from her._

_Well, she didn’t know how long she’d be stuck here so she decided to explore. She traveled up the staircase, curtseying politely to the JJP Sunbaenims who nodded their heads in acknowledgement as she passed them._

_Upstairs lead to another room that opened up into a balcony, overlooking the rose gardens. She stepped out unto the balcony, experiencing a slight chill as the cool winds of the night frolicked around her. It was a full moon tonight, the pale, shimmering sphere the closest she had ever seen it on earth. It was truly a beautiful sight. She looked down and could see a few couples scattered all around the gardens, a soft blush forming on her cheeks as she witnessed flecks of romance that she, herself, was never granted the opportunity to experience. She quickly raised her eyes back to the alluring moon, embarrassed to gaze upon the shared intimacy she was not supposed to be a part of._

_“Beautiful night, isn’t it?”_

_A voice to her left caused her to nearly jump out of her skin. She stumbled a few steps back with a soft cry, her eyes wide with surprise as she turned to see who had scared her. Her heart stopped in her chest._

_It was **him** – tall and stunning in his tailored outfit, sleek black hair that contrasted against his milky skin, a handsome smile that graced his lips. _

_She became absolutely still, staring at him motionlessly and unable to say a word at the face that still haunted her, the face that seemed to see straight through her._

_“…Care to dance?” His smile lowered into a lazy smirk as he extended his hand._

_Her mind was cloudy and she found herself unable to think. Everything seemed hazy, but before she could even formulate an answer, he had already grabbed her hand and pulled her close. He rested his other hand on her waist, gazing down at her with his sharp eyes as they swayed to the soft music in the background under the moonlight._

_“What brings the beautiful lady to the party?” He raised an eyebrow at her, the amused smile still on his face._

_She couldn’t answer, still stunned at the sight of him. She felt like she was in a daze as they waltzed around together, taking all of him in._

_She hadn’t seen him this close in a long time. He looked older, baby fat reduced from his cheeks, a pointier nose, sharper jawline; yet he remained unchanged, with the same piercing eyes that could appear warm and calculated at the same time, lips as bright as cherries that seduced everyone with pretty words._

_“Enjoying the view?” He smirked, taking note at how she examined his face._

_Suddenly, she could feel herself again, her heart beating steady in her chest. And because she could feel again, she blushed._

_“…What brings you here?” That released her tongue, not to give him answer, but to counter his question with her own as she steeled herself to meet his eyes boldly._

_He chuckled, seemingly impressed by her sudden change of attitude._

_“Is it considered a party without me?” He lifted his chin arrogantly, causing her to let out a soft scoff as she relaxed in his arms._

_There he was. There was the boy she knew, the boy she loved._

_“Then you should be downstairs then… Where the party is at. Enjoy yourself.” She tried to withdraw from his arms, but he tightened his hold on her._

_“I am enjoying myself.” He chuckled, as her cheeks flushed pink again. “Very much so.”_

_He leaned into her personal space with ambition dripping from his eyes. She felt a tight constriction in her chest but was powerless to push him away. She still desired closeness from him… Even after two years. So she closed her eyes and allowed him to lead her, breathing him in._

_“How have you been?” She asked in a softer tone, taking in his warmth._

_“Busy. Always.” He hummed, not seeming to mind at all that her eyes were closed._

_“Your family is well?” She inhaled and took a waft of him in. Chocolate._

_“Usual.” His voice indicated slight curiosity at her questions, but she kept her eyes shut._

_“Are you healthy?”_

_She didn’t know what she was doing. She was in a dream for goodness sake and she knew it was a dream. But still, she couldn’t help but pour out the questions that she had long tried to bury deep inside, the answers that she had longed to hear from him._

_“I try to be.” His voice was dry and she giggled, finally opening her eyes._

_He was looking at her with an inquisitive expression, yet nodded at her to continue._

_“… I missed you.” Her voice was no louder than a whisper and yet it seem to pierce through everything else._

_He stiffened. Then he stopped. His face grew cold. Then he smiled, but only with his mouth and not his eyes. His lips that usually said only the sweetest of words were pressed tightly together as if they had been sewn shut. The eyes that usually brimmed with life were brittle and frosty._

_Yeji felt helpless as the hands she tried so hard to hold on to slipped through her fingers as he backed away._

**_‘Please. Not again.’_ ** _She silently pleaded with him, her eyes tearing up as she begged him not to do this to her a second time._

_“… Bye Hwang Yeji.”_

_And with that, he left without even glancing back at her once._

_There he was. There was the boy she knew, the boy she loved. Foolishly._

Yeji opened her eyes. She immediately lifted a hand to them and just as she thought, they were wet with tears. She sat up in her bed, roughly wiping her tears away angrily.

It was her own fault. What was she expecting? That because she was in a dream, the outcome to her confession would be different? No. The result was always the same.

Her mind flashed back to the actual memory.

_“Hwang Yeji.” He gave her a half-smile._

_That was the first warning sign, the signal to back off and not to pursue him any longer. But Yeji missed him. She always missed him and wanted to tell him._

_She sucked in a deep breath, mustering up all her courage to say the words she’d been wanting to say for a while._

_“I missed you.” Her dry throat caused her to voice to break off, laying down her raw feelings in front of him._

_She watched as he froze, shock evident on his face. She smiled, stifling the laugh that threatened to erupt from her gut at how his eyes had nearly doubled in size._

_But then he took a step back, away from her. Her smile dropped as courage dissolved into fear, a chill running down her spine as goospbumps formed on her skin. A deep shadow cast over his eyes thanks to the cap he wore, but she could still see them clearly, could see that the eyes that usually brimmed with life were brittle and cold. He shifted uncomfortably on his feet from left-to-right._

_Dread came over her as he smiled, but only with his mouth and not his eyes. His lips that usually said only the sweetest of words were pressed tightly together as if they had been sewn shut._

_He let out an airy laugh, a laugh that sounded so fake that she felt as if he had dropped her heart._

_“… Bye Hwang Yeji.”_

_And with that, he dashed away, literally running away from her and her feelings that she had laid in front of him, the box of Homerun Balls left untouched and careless on the table._

_His black shirt clung to his back as he ran away, not once looking back to see the remains of her heart that he shattered._

If he had verbally rejected her, it wouldn’t have been as painful as it was. But he didn’t even give her a proper reply. He ran away. He just left, as if she wasn’t worthy of a reply, as if her honest words meant nothing. That’s what hurt the most, that’s what caused many teary and sleepless nights. That’s what caused scars in her heart to burn.

Yeji looked across the room to where Ryujin was sleeping. She was moving around in her sleep, something she hardly did. Was she also having a bad dream? Before she could say or do anything, Ryujin woke up, letting out a soft gasp. She sat up in the bed and froze when she made eye-contact with Yeji.

Yeji’s body moved on its own. As though she were still in a dream, she slipped out of bed and went across the room to where Ryujin was. She felt as if she was in a daze, treading the floor so lightly that she didn’t make a sound while keeping her eyes on the younger girl. She didn’t say a word, not even as she sat down next to Ryujin.

Ryujin’s eyes were teary, much like her own, and Yeji felt her heart ache. She reached to take Ryujin’s hand, touching her gently as if she was approaching a child. Ryujin let her, staring at her with glassy eyes.

Heartbroken. Ryujin was heartbroken… Just like her.

Yeji shut her eyes tightly as she brought her head down to rest upon Ryujin’s shoulder. They stayed like that for a while, hand-in-hand, Yeji’s head on Ryujin’s shoulder as they cuddled close together in silence.

Yeji wondered if Ryujin was thinking about Byeongkwan, just like she thought about **_him_**. Why was heartbreak so painful? Was it because they were still young? Was it because they never got a chance to love properly? Was it because they still didn’t know what love was?

It was funny. When Yeji thought about heartbreak, ** _he_** was the first thing she thought of. When she thought about crushes, Jaebum Sunbae would fleetingly pass her mind. But when she thought about love, her mind was blank. What is love?

She let out a sigh, moving closer to Ryujin. She was so mentally exhausted, she couldn’t bring herself to offer a single comforting word, but it was ok. Ryujin didn’t need a comforting word and neither did she; presence was enough, the company of each other’s body warmth and gentle breaths were enough for now.

**“Take care of yourself.”** Hyunjin’s low voice tingled in her ear.

“Again?” Yeji blinked in confusion.

“That’s what I said! But Hyung told me that consistency is important.” Hyunjin pulled away, shrugging his shoulders as he leaned back against the wall. “Personally, I think he just ran out of nice things to say.”

“…And why are you telling me this now?” She sighed, rubbing her eyes.

They were currently in the Stray Kids’ practice room. It was a rare night that managers of both groups had left them alone so they decided to gather together like the good ol’ days when they were trainees, sneaking in pizza and chicken instead of practicing like they were supposed to. In all honesty, Yeji really didn’t want to be here. She was so weirded out by her dream with **_him_** that it had been difficult to sleep for the past few days. Now her body was at the brink of exhaustion, running on overdrive that all she wanted to do was go home and crash for 72 hours. But due to the rarity of days like these, as well as Yuna’s sparkling eyes that brimmed with excitement in spending time with her favorite Oppa, she didn’t have the heart to say no. So here she was.

She had been resting against the wall when Hyunjin decided it was the perfect time to slide in next to her and relay the message of the week.

“Figured the sooner, the better.” He shrugged again, carelessly. “Didn’t want to have to call you out to meet later.”

They were sitting side-by-side, so close that their knees were pressed against each other.

“They’re gonna see,” She whispered, motioning for him to move away as she was too worn out to shift away from him.

“They don’t care.” He scoffed quietly, gesturing to the other members around them.

It was true. Nobody seemed to notice or even care about the conversation she and Hyunjin were currently having. Everyone was on their phones as they lounged around in different corners of the room.

She let out a breath of relief. She didn’t think she could handle any more stress at the moment. She hummed absent-mindedly, pulling her knees to her chest as she wrapped her arms around herself in a hug so she wouldn’t have to brush knees with the giant next to her when Chan suddenly stood up.

“Pizza’s arrived.” He grinned, looking up from his phone.

“Chicken too!” Jisung cheered as he also jumped to his feet.

“Let’s go. Hwang! Help out!” Changbin bellowed, causing the pair to look over at him with mirror blank expressions on their faces.

Yeji slowly started to stand on her feet as did Hyunjin when the rapper shook his head.

“Just one Hwang is fine.” He smirked, chuckling to himself as he left the room, trailing after Jisung and Chan.

Hyunjin snorted as Yeji slightly stiffened.

It had been so long that they’ve all hung out that Yeji had forgotten how ANNOYING the Stray boys could be. While her members loved her enough to keep ‘Hwang Twins’ out of their vocabulary, the same couldn’t be said about Hyunjin’s members, who had an obsession with calling her “Hwang” whenever Hyunjin was around. Yeji didn’t know what was so funny about their shared last name, but hey – the boys found it hilarious, especially when they got to tell a floundering Yeji and/or Hyunjin, “Not you, the other Hwang.” Boys were so annoying.

“He didn’t specify who. You go.” Hyunjin sank back to the floor immediately.

Of course her ‘twin’ would tell her to go help bringing the pizza in when she was dead tired. She couldn’t even bring herself to glare at him, sluggishly trudging towards the door when someone cut in front of her.

“I’ll go…” Felix gave her a hesitant smile and before she could blink, was already racing down the hall to catch up with the other guys.

“Ooohh!”

Yeji turned to see Lia and Chaeryeong exaggeratedly squealing at her.

“What a gentleman!” Lia gushed as Yeji ambled over to the floor to join them.

“That was so sweet!” Chaeryeong cooed.

“Felix Oppa is sweet!” Yuna agreed, glancing up from her phone. “Not as sweet as my Oppa, but sweet enough!”

They all smiled as Yuna deliberately ignored Jeongin’s gagging noises in the background.

Tonight’s midnight snacks were courtesy of Chan, who insisted that as the oldest member and Oppa/Hyung of the “4th Generation JYP Squad” (they seriously needed to change the name), he would pay for everything, including the snacks from the convenient store that his members had rushed to get earlier.

“Homerun Balls?” Chan offered to Yeji as she stared indifferently to how everyone excitedly threw his or her favorite snacks around. “I know you like them.”

She didn’t. Not anymore at least. Still, a part of her was touched at the thoughtful gesture so she took it.

“Thank you.” She said quietly, a small smile tugging up the corners of her lips.

“Hyung! I wanted them!”

A whine that Yeji had become all-too-well accustomed to, interrupted them. Without saying a word, she tossed the snack into Jeongin’s open arms.

“Thanks Nuna!” He perked up immediately as she gave him a tired smile.

“Spoiled.” Yuna rolled her eyes as Jeongin glared at her.

“You’re one to talk, princess.” He sneered back.

“You-“

“Let’s eat.” Yeji intervened, giving Yuna a pointed look.

Yuna pouted, opening her mouth to complain when a familiar jovial laugh cut through everything.

“No fighting today, kiddos.” Jisung came between the two maknaes, wrapping an arm around each of their shoulders. “Please? Promise me.”

He had such a dazzlingly smile that Yeji was sure even she wouldn’t have been able to turn down any request he made, watching with a wry smile as the youngest two stammered out their promises while simultaneously snuggling closer to the older boy.

“… Kids.” Hyunjin snorted, coming to sit next to Yeji as they watched how Jeongin and Yuna scrambled to be on either side of Jisung as they got ready to eat.

Yeji hummed in agreement, nodding her head.

Kids indeed.

“Here.” He passed her a package of Choco Boys. “These are better anyways.”

Yeji was startled into a genuine smile at the snack that was now in her lap, looking up to face Chan who had a similar expression on his face.

“… What?” Hyunjin’s face scrunched up as he glanced back and forth at the smiling leaders.

“Nothing.” Chan coughed as Yeji did her best to stifle her giggle.

“What?” He frowned as neither of them made any move to say anything else.

“… Cute.” Yeji gave him a friendly tap on the shoulder as she opened the package.

“Don’t ever change Hyunjinie. I love you too much.” Chan also reached over to pat his shoulder in a similar fashion, leaving the other Hwang very much confused.

As she slipped a chocolate mushroom into her mouth, Yeji glanced up at Hyunjin, who appeared absolutely stumped. She looked down and let out a silent laugh, only to look across and see Chan doing the same. She exchanged grins with the other leader as a memory came into mind.

_“Homerun Balls?” Hyunjin looked at the package in Yeji’s hands with disdain. “They’re-“_

_“Jinyoung Sunbaenim’s favorite snack.” Somi piped up, a mischievous sparkle in her eyes as she and Daehwi smirked at each other._

_“I was gonna say they’re amazing.” He coughed, a small blush on his face as the other trainees snickered._

_“Sure you were.” Seungmin snorted, reaching for the shrimp crisps._

_“I was! They’re good!” Hyunjin insisted, nodding his head stubbornly. “Homerun Balls are excellent-“_

_“But…” Jisung grinned at him, everyone waiting for Hyunjin to continue._

_“But nothing! They’re good… Choco Boys are the best though.”_

_They all cracked up at Hyunjin’s lame attempt to salvage the situation, save for Yeji who just stared at him blankly._

**_Whatever._ **

_She started to turn away when he spoke again._

_“I’m serious! These taste better!”_

_It took Yeji five extra seconds to realize from his outstretched hand that he was offering them to her._

_“… Thanks.” She took the other package from him, keeping the Homerun Balls with her._

_“They’re both made up of flour and chocolate.” Chan chuckled. “What’s the difference?”_

_“Homerun Balls–as amazing as they are,” He looked pointedly at Daehwi and Somi before they could jump on his words, “-are deceiving. They’re deceiving!”_

_“Deceiving?” Yeji frowned._

_“Some balls have more chocolate than others. Some balls don’t have chocolate at all! You never know how much chocolate you’re gonna get! With Choco Boys, you can see everything. You get a generous amount of chocolate. And it’s the perfect balance of chocolate and cracker!” He shoved a handful of the chocolate mushrooms to finish his speech with a bang._

Judging by the soft chuckle that came out of Chan’s mouth, Yeji knew she wasn’t the only one who remembered 16-year-old Hyunjin’s impassioned speech about Choco Boys. To say that Hyunjin loved Choco Boys would be an understatement. Choco Boys was the snack of his life, the one food he would never get sick of.

“What?” Hyunjin let out a strangled noise that sounded close to a whine, but Yeji kept mum as did Chan.

“What? Tell me! Hyung-“

“Just eat, Hyunjin.” She shoved a slice of pizza with a napkin unto his hand, shaking her head at him.

He jutted his lips into a pout and grumbled under his breath, but obediently started eating without saying another word.

For a moment, they ate in somewhat of an awkward silence. Again, it had been a while since they had all seen each other so nobody knew what to say or do. For a few minutes, the sounds of chewing and lips-smacking were the only things that could be heard in the practice room.

“This is boring.” A high-pitched voice caused them all to look up.

Leave it to Shin Yuna to disrupt the silence within 5 minutes. Yeji smiled fondly as the youngest looked around the group with a frown.

“Let’s play a game!”

“What game?” Lia also smiled affectionately as Yuna racked her brain.

“Um… Truth or Dare?” Yuna brightened, her eyes sparkling with enthusiasm. “Please? Can we play Truth or Dare? Oppa please?” She turned to Jisung.

“I-I don’t mind it.” Jisung was startled into a smile before he addressed the whole group. “Guys, Truth or Dare?”

“Eww. Let’s play Mafia instead.” Jeongin scrunched up his nose in disgust as Yuna shot him a dirty look.

“We’re still eating, genius! Let’s play a game where we can relax and eat!” She ignored his indignant squeak to look over at the other members with a hopeful smile.

“Chan Oppa! Unnis! Truth or Dare. Please?”

“S’alright with me.” Chan shrugged, looking around at the group with a questioning look in his eyes.

Yeji would have rather not played any game at all, being perfectly content to eat her chicken and pizza in peace after a long day. But “Truth or Dare” had sentimental value due to how often they used to play as trainees and like Yuna said, it didn’t require too much effort. They could keep eating as they played so she hummed in approval as everyone else nodded.

“Great! I’ll start!” Yuna scampered to the center of the room with an unopened coke bottle in her hands. “I’m spinning… Now!”

“Why are you wasting a perfectly good coke?” Minho raised an eyebrow, honing a judgmental stare onto the girl.

“That’s the punishment!”

“If you don’t want to answer, you have to open it!”

Yuna and Jeongin chimed in sequence too excitedly, their eyes gleaming with the same mischief. Yeji stifled a laugh as they glared at each other for a split second before turning their attention to the bomb they were creating, satisfied smiles on both of their faces. Evil maknaes.

As the bottle spun, everyone scooted closer together so that they were sitting in somewhat of a circle, although deformed cluster was probably the more accurate word for how they had bunched together.

The bottle was heavy and tight from the carbonation, but its spin was smooth, slowing down to slowly point to… Yeji.

“Truth.” Yeji put her pizza down with a sigh, nodding at Yuna to quickly ask her something.

She had an uneasy feeling in her stomach as her youngest member suddenly smirked with glee.

“Favorite Stray Kids member?” Yuna’s innocent eyes were completely contrary to her teasing voice.

**Really?**

She smiled tightly but shot Yuna _the_ _look_ , signaling that the Itzy maknae was going to get a talking to once they got back to the dorms.

Yeji quickly scanned around. Most of the boys were too focused on chicken and pizza to care, with only a few pair of curious eyes glancing at her to see who she would choose. She pointedly ignored Hyunjin’s burning stare and decided upon the person whose eyes flashed shyly when her gaze lingered on him.

“… Felix.” She smiled as he blushed and looked down, mumbling a quiet ‘thank you’.

“Why?” Yuna piped up.

“That’s more than one question.” Ryujin didn’t even bat an eye at the pout Yuna gave as she took another gigantic bite of her pizza.

And that’s why Ryujin was her favorite, she thought as she lazily crawled to the center to spin the bottle.

“Truth or Dare?”

Yeji agreed with Ryujin that the game should have just been called “Truth or Truth”. Nobody chose “Dare.” No one, not after all the traumatic experiences they had as trainees when the older trainees would force them to do things they swore to never bring up again.

One dare involved Hyunjin yelling an insult about one of their scariest dance teachers in the hallway… Only to realize as soon as the insult left his mouth that the teacher was standing in the hallway, completely vexed. Yeji got roped into it by being his ‘twin’ and the next thing she knew, they were both in an isolated room huddled closed together on the floor as their teacher blasted them off, tears streaming down both their eyes as they endured a 2-hour lecture. She shuddered as she recalled the memory. No thank you. No dares.

Even with only truths, the game was still fun. As the night progressed, everyone became more relaxed, their cunning sides coming out as they tried to trap one another with questions that could potentially force someone to open the coke bottle in the center.

“Choose. Me or Hyunjin?” Seungmin smile lazily as Jeongin blinked.

“Too weak! Choose between dating Seungmin or Hyunjin.” Minho cackled as Jeongin choked on his drink.

“Like if I was a girl?” The Stray youngest asked dumbly, his eyes wide with shock.

“Nope. As a man.” Changbin leered, leaning forward.

“As a man?!” He panicked as they all laughed, everyone fixated on him with renewed interest.

Yeji covered her mouth and exchanged glances with her members, who were elated (Yuna especially).

It seemed as if Jeongin would be the victim of the explosion waiting to happen. The coke bottle was so carbonated, it looked as if it was ready to burst at any minute.

“You don’t need to answer.” Yuna told him, her voice dripping with sweetness as she gave him a sugary smile, gesturing to the bomb in the center.

He hissed at her before redirecting his glare to Minho who had asked the question.

“I choose… Jisungie Hyung!” He latched himself onto the older boy.

“He wasn’t an option.” Changbin’s smile was the widest Yeji had ever seen it.

“Hyung! Help me!” Jeongin whined, burying his face into Jisung’s arm. “I said I’d date you! You need to take responsibility for me.”

“Who says he’d date you back?” Yuna’s eyes were icy as she looked at him with distaste, her hand on Jisung’s other arm.

“Better me than you!” Jeongin taunted, removing his face from Jisung’s arm to glare at her as she grit her teeth.

“You-“

“Give him a pass, will you?” Jisung cut in smoothly with a smile, looking around the group as if he hadn’t interrupted anything. “Please? The poor kid’s stressed.”

“I say no.” Hyunjin spoke for the first time in the round, feigning disinterest. “He didn’t make a choice. He takes his punishment like a man.”

“Hyung!” Jeongin wailed.

“Gotta choose, I.N.ie. Is it me? Or Seungmin?”

“Hyung, we’re all guys!”

“So?” An arrogant smirk tugged on Hyunjin’s lips. “It’s 2019.”

The boys snickered as Jeongin let out a groan.

“Come on, I.N.ie.” Seungmin chuckled. “Choose me. I’ll buy you lunch tomorrow.”

“Choose me, I’ll buy you lunch for a month.” Hyunjin countered, locking his eyes on Seungmin as the pair grinned at each other playfully.

“… Hyunjin Hyung then.” Jeongin mumbled embarrassedly, looking away from the group.

“Better be ready to buy him lunch for a month.” Seungmin laughed, not at all offended that he wasn’t chosen.

“Nah. It’s all hypothetical so I don’t owe him anything.” Hyunjin smiled smugly, stretching out his limbs like a cat.

“What? Then I choose Seungmin Hyung-“ Jeongin’s head shot up as he looked at the older boy with betrayal in his eyes.

“Shh. It’s too late. You already chose me. No take backs.” Hyunjin’s sing-song voice caused Yeji to roll her eyes.

“Seungminie Hyung-“

“SHhhhh! Shush! Just spin the bottle.” Hyunjin’s eyes sparkled with mirth as he continued teasing the youngest.

“Seungminie Hyung!” Jeongin looked at Seungmin helplessly. “Hyung, I chose you. You’ll still buy me lunch tomorrow right?”

“I don’t know… You picked Hyunjin first.”

“Hyung!”

Seungmin threw his head back with a laugh, shaking his head as the youngest pouted.

Even Yeji couldn’t help but laugh at Jeongin’s forlorn expression as he grudgingly dragged himself to the center to spin the bottle. Poor maknae.

As the night went on, the game continued with more ridiculous questions that required even more ridiculous answers. Yeji found herself becoming drowsy, completely relaxed and stuffed with pizza and chicken. She hugged herself, resting her head on her knees as she looked around sleepily. But suddenly, she felt Hyunjin stiffen beside her.

She turned to look at him and to her surprise, he was looking straight at her with such a serious expression that it startled her. She lifted her head up, wondering why he was gazing at her so intensely when his eyes flickered and moved past her.

“… Favorite boy group?” He called.

Yeji turned her head to follow his eyes and froze. It was Ryujin’s turn.

She was instantly alert, all the sleep evaporating from her body as anxiety rushed through her veins. As her mind awakened, she struggled to de-clutter the jumble of thoughts and feelings that rushed over her. She began trembling, her nerves all over the place at the dangerous territory Hyunjin was treading.

“GOT7.” But Ryujin wasn’t fazed, answering without a change in her bored expression.

Yeji didn’t realize she had been holding in her breath until she let out a silent breath of relief. She whipped her head back to Hyunjin, about to rip one into him but he kept his eyes on Ryujin.

“Still?” His eyes widened in disbelief.

She sat up straight, her hands balling up into fists as she did her best to keep a neutral expression.

**What was Hwang Hyunjin doing?**

Lucky for her, she didn’t have to intervene as the Stray Kids members also found his obvious badgering annoying.

“What do you mean ‘still’?”

“Says the biggest Jinyoung Sunbae fan ever.”

She felt a twinge of smug satisfaction as the Stray members put Hyunjin in his place. There was a twinge of pink on his cheeks as he blushed in embarrassment and she couldn’t help but add salt to the wound.

“Still?” She purposely made her cat-eyes wide with faux innocent, using a honeyed tone to match, and sure enough, everyone burst into laughter.

Everyone except Hyunjin, who shot her a glare. She didn’t even think twice about kicking his foot away from her, shaking her head at him as she did her best to control her own glare.

**What was his problem?**

“I meant a newer group-“

“Next person!” Yeji intercepted the conversation, rushing towards the middle to hand the coke bottle to Ryujin.

Yeji could feel adrenaline pumping through her veins as she did her best to keep her hand steady when she handed the coke bottle to Ryujin with an innocent smile.

“Spin it.”

She could feel Hyunjin’s eyes on her, see the glower on his face from the corner of her eye as he brooded. He seemed bothered, almost angry.

**What the heck was his problem?**

She didn’t know what was going on, but she wasn’t going to just stand by and let him ruin everything she had worked towards because he was feeling emotional. She’d talk to him later. For now, she would remain awake and conscious of everything around her.

**“Truth or Dare?”**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Memories of heartbreak & Truth or Dare.  
> The events here take place during "Ryujin's Secret" Ch. 5.
> 
> On a side not: Homerun Balls or Choco Boys! Which is your favorite?  
> Personally, I tend to reach for Homerun Balls more because the package is bigger than Choco Boys XP
> 
> As always, thank you for reading and hope you're enjoying the story. ^^


	5. Pretend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll make it quick.
> 
> I've been reflecting a lot upon the current state of the world. I don't know if you're reading the news, but there are a lot of things going on from #blacklivesmatter, social injustice, police brutality, COVID-19, conflicts between foreign nations, etc. Even though this fanfic is completely unrelated to any of that, I wanted to share the importance of us being involved in change. It's easy to ignore the issues at hand when we feel they don't pertain to us, but I hope you realize that all of these issues do in fact relate to us, relate to you. Because people matter. 
> 
> I matter, you matter, and people matter. Things that I see as "not my problem" is in fact, "my problem" when someone else is suffering. “Their problem” is “our problem” because every person in my life, in my community, in the world matters. With that being said, I want to encourage you to be a part of positive change. It doesn’t have to be big steps. 
> 
> It can be praying. It can be signing a petition. It can be sharing research on social media. It can be engaging your family and friends in healthy conversations, truly listening and gently sharing different points of views. It can be peacefully protesting. 
> 
> I’m not promoting #alllivesmatter because that’s cliché and allows us to move on too easily with good feelings and no positive change. But I want to stress the importance that each and every person’s life is important. You have your story, but so does the next person. And all of our stories are woven together (Just like my fanfic series :P).
> 
> Listen. Have compassion. Do good. Stay safe. 
> 
> \- Jellyturtle

Yeji prided herself as a private person, reserved about her personal business and keeping her day-to-day life on a down low. But at this moment, she could hardly care less about the managers’ questioning looks as she stormed the down the hall, dragging a complacent Hyunjin with her. To say she was angry was an understatement. She was absolutely livid, her hand locked onto his wrist in an iron grip, marching so fast that she was almost running. Hyunjin was oddly quiet, allowing her to pull him without a word of complaint, but that did nothing to alleviate her temperament. As soon as she reached their spot, she let go of him to whirl around and shoot him the dirtiest look she could muster, her blood boiling in her veins.

“What… was… **that**?!” Yeji hissed, her eyes narrowed as she glared daggers at Hyunjin.

“What?” He had the gall to stare back at her brazenly with callous eyes.

“You know what?!”

After Hyunjin’s quip with Ryujin, Yeji had become hyper-sensitively aware of how Hyunjin’s mood had taken a turn for the worse during the course of the night. He would laugh and add smart comments here and there throughout the game, but during the moments he was quiet, he was obviously sour. He had a hardened look in his eyes as he gazed intensely at the floor, his lips pressed tightly together as he mused over something.

Initially, she thought it was just due to lack of sleep. She thought he had slipped up because he was as exhausted as she was and assumed he was just taking his crabbiness out on her since she happened to be sitting next to him. But NO! That wasn’t the case at all! It was when he opened his big fat mouth a SECOND time that she realized something was VERY wrong with Hwang Hyunjin.

_“It’s… Hyunjin’s turn.” Chan leaned back with a devious smile, exchanging glances with his other members as they eyed the chosen boy predatorily._

_“Tell us what you’re into these days... when you’re alone.” Changbin’s suggestive smirk was borderline lecherous, causing all the boys to cheer and the girls to look away blushing._

_Even Yeji found herself awkwardly inching away from Hyunjin, staring down at the floor. She had a feeling that he’d rather share his TMI than open the coke bottle in the center that swelled into a bomb, but that didn’t mean she was looking forward to hearing his answer. She didn’t even want to imagine what the boys talked about or did in the privacy of their own rooms. However, there was no Rated-R answer that could have given her a greater heart attack than his actual answer._

_“I like ACE.”_

_She whipped her head to him so fast, her neck cracked. She felt an immediate constriction around her heart as she stared at him in fright, but he wasn’t even looking at her. His eyes were fixated on Ryujin. Again._

**_What the heck was he doing?_ **

_“Lame!”_

_“Boo. Stupid! You’re playing it safe.”_

_The Stray Kids sneered at his ‘boring’ answer, but for Yeji, nothing could have been more dangerous than what he said, adrenaline pumping through her veins._

_She slowly turned her head to look at Ryujin. Ryujin was gazing back at Hyunjin stonily but Yeji could see the underlying curiosity in her eyes. She heard an abrupt roar in her ears and her heart pounded in her chest as she tried not to let her panic show. But Hyunjin just had to make things worse by opening his mouth again._

_“I like ACE.” He repeated nonchalantly, looking away from Ryujin to glance around at the circle. “… I’m friends with Byeongkwanie Hyung.”_

**_Hwang Hyunjin was a dead man._ **

_As soon as this was over, Yeji would bury him six feet into the ground. Alive. Fear changed into fury and Yeji tightened her fists, her eyes lasering through him as he stubbornly looked past her to fix his eyes on Ryujin once more._

**_What was his problem? Why was he doing this now?_ **

_“Since when?”_

_Yeji did her best not to visibly flinch as Yuna leaned forward with excitement, her eyes sparkling with interest._

**_Don’t say anything._ ** _Yeji screamed in her mind, glaring at him. **Don’t say anything!**_

_“Since-“ He started and Yeji would have flailed if it weren’t for Minho’s interruption._

_“That’s his new man.” Minho crowed, causing snickers to ripple through his other members._

_She reeled._

**_Did they all know? Did Hyunjin let the secret out?_ **

_She honed in an icy glare as crimson stretched across his entire face._

_“What do you mean new man?” Lia’s giggles couldn’t break her out of her frosty stare._

_“Who was his old man?” Chaeryung laugh couldn’t interrupt the murderous thoughts she had at the moment._

_“Me.” Seungmin, Jisung, and Minho all answered at the same time, causing everyone to erupt into laughter._

_The boys’ mocking was enough to break her thirst for Hyunjin’s blood. She tore her gaze away from him to look around the group roaring with hilarity. Instantly, the tension in her shoulders released at the realization that nothing was out of the ordinary. She silently thanked God that nobody was ever the wiser, letting out her own short cry of relief. Her eyes skimmed across the room to shoot another quick glance at Ryujin who was still visibly confused and quiet, but not visibly shaken._

_“It was me, but Hyunjin dumped me.” Jisung started a mini drama, his voice full of faux hurt as he scooted across the room to throw his arms around the blushing mess of a boy._

_Hyunjin immediately shoved him off, his cheeks still flushed bright red as giggles bounced throughout the room._

_“Pu-LEASE.” Minho said dramatically, also getting into the role-play. “Everyone knows it was ME. Hyunjin got tired of me and went to fulfill his needs elsewhere.”_

_“And we can all see why.” Seungmin’s dry voice set them all off howling with laughter again and Yeji’s heartbeat was almost back to normal._

_“What about you?” Chaeryung nodded at Seungmin, who shrugged._

_“Just didn’t work out. I fell for I.N.ie.” He smirked before tackling Jeongin onto the floor, causing the youngest boy to let out a squeak._

_“I want no part of this, you weirdos!” The Stray’s maknae screamed, thrashing about like a fish out of water as he struggled in Seungmin’s arms, the noise of laughter ricocheting off the walls of the practice room._

Fortunately, that was the last incident of the night, but it was enough to produce a surplus of _unnecessary_ added stress to Yeji’s current condition. That event also sparked a few other _unnecessary_ things, one of them being Yuna’s love for gossip.

Thanks to Hyunjin’s blunder, Yuna wouldn’t shut up about the newfound information about his relationship with ACE for the past three days.

“Unni! What a coincidence that he knows that Oppa! Should we try to get him to see what he thinks of Ryujin?” Her eyes glittered with glee as she looked around excitedly.

Yeji placed a finger to her lips, motioning her to keep her voice down. Ryujin may have been in the bathroom, but their apartment walls were paper-thin and Yuna’s volume increased by 20x when she was lively.

“No!” Chaeryeong looked at Yuna appalled.

“Why not?!”

“After all he put Ryujin through? Forget it! He doesn’t deserve Ryujin!” Chaeryeong rolled her eyes before turning back to focus on the new drama they were watching.

“Ryujin’s already moved on too. So no.” Lia agreed with Chaeryeong, also shaking her head.

“But Unnis-“

“No!” Both girls chimed in unison right as Ryujin came out of the bathroom.

“No what?” She asked curiously, plopping herself on the couch next to Yeji.

“Nothing.” Yuna couldn’t have used a more suspicious tone causing the older girls to groan as Ryujin glanced around at them with her doe-eyes.

Yeji didn’t say a word, but felt a headache coming upon her as Ryujin’s lips pursed into a pout, a whine escaping the doe-eyed member’s lips as she complained how they always left her out. Yeji also remained silent during her members’ attempts to mitigate the situation, although a part of her did want to bang her head against the wall.

**_This was all HWANG HYUNJIN’S STUPID FAULT!_ **

The most shocking and ridiculous thing about this whole ordeal was that Hyunjin didn’t give her an explanation. He didn’t share with her why he did it. He didn’t even apologize for it! He didn’t contact Yeji at all. That’s what flabbergasted her the most! That he set off a bomb and didn’t even check to see the aftermath. But after three days, Yeji had enough.

During their break, she stomped into the Stray Kids practice room, promising to return Hyunjin within 5 minutes. She had such a wild look in her eyes that Chan didn’t say a word of protest as she hauled the boy out. So here they were, back at the Hwang Spot to deal with the nonsense that he created, because they both knew Yeji didn’t have any patience for nonsense that didn’t need to be prolonged.

“What is your problem?!” She glared at him. “You were obviously upset about something that day! So you took it out on me?! On Ryujin?!”

“It’s nothing-“

“No, it is NOT nothing! You don’t get to do that Hyunjin! You don’t get to act up and then tell me it’s nothing! You’re not allowed to give me a heart attack and then brush it off the next time I see you. What is it?”

He fell silent, his apathetic countenance shifting into the same brooding expression he had that night, with hardened eyes and a grimace on his face as he gazed at her.

“What is it? Was it… Was it something I did?” Her heart dropped and she felt an uncomfortable churning in her stomach, anger dwindling into remorse. “Did I do something wrong?”

He wouldn’t say a word.

“Just say it Hyunjin. What is it? If I did something wrong, I’m sorry. But you have to talk to me. You can’t just act like that and not tell me what’s wrong.”

She took a step closer, her eyes softening as she reached out to touch his hand.

“Tell me, please.” Her fingers gently massaged the wrist that she had been so rough with just a minute ago, her thumb rubbing circles soothingly along his pulse point.

He sucked in a breath and turned his head away from her, but she waited patiently.

“So…” He came back to look at her.

Her eyes widened in quiet surprise as she peered into his eyes. The hardened look had ebbed away to a subtle vulnerability, so subtle that the only reason she could see it was due to how well she knew him. But it was strange. The look in his eyes indicated something akin to hesitation, almost distress. It was almost as if he was… afraid?

She was slightly taken aback. What did Hyunjin have to be afraid of? She gave him a mild squeeze on his wrist and nodded at him to continue with a reassuring smile. He was wordless again for a few more seconds, so she continued to press gently against the inside of his wrist. He took in one more deep inhale before speaking.

“… Why Felix?”

For a minute, she didn’t understand what he was talking about, looking at him completely bewildered as his ears brightened.

“… What?” Her perplexed expression caused him to turn away.

“Felix.”

She frowned as she thought about the said-member. Felix? What about Felix?

Suddenly, everything came back to her vividly – the beginning of “Truth or Dare” and her answer. Her jaw dropped.

“… Were you jealous?” She let go of his wrist to take a step back, her eyes wide with disbelief as she stared at him agape.

“N-no! Shut up! I-I wasn’t- I’m not!” His voice sounded too forceful as his cheeks joined his ears, flushing into such a vibrant red that anybody would be able to see from a mile away.

“You’re stuttering.”

“I’m not! Shut up! I-I.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Disbelief distorted into aggravation, which could be clearly heard through her indignant voice. “You were salty because I said my favorite member isn’t you?”

“I told you that wasn’t-“ He tried to be defensive but she wasn’t having it.

“I’m not your favorite. Why do you have to be my favorite?” She pressed.

“Who said you’re not?” He shot back.

“Hyunjin, please,” She snorted. “I think we both know you’ve been making heart-eyes at Jisu ever since she came into JYP.”

Yeji could still remember the day she introduced Lia to the Stray Kids ensemble. It had taken her all of her self-control not to laugh at how the boys became a mess, stuttering and tripping over each other at the beautiful newcomer. Hyunjin’s reaction was the most memorable, his pale face reddening into the same hue of a ripened cherry as he stammered out his greetings. She had raised her eyebrows at him, a teasing smile on her face as he looked away from her with a scoff. Just the memory of it brought a smirk to her face.

Currently, his cheeks were the same tinge of cherry red as he averted his eyes from her, in what she would have guessed, embarrassment and shame. And if it weren’t for the fact that she was still slightly riled up, she would have laughed at him.

“… My gosh.” She closed her eyes tiredly and let out a sharp exhale, shaking her head.

“I’m telling you that’s not it… And you still didn’t answer my question.”

“About what?”

“Felix!”

“Felix?” She stared him down. “Really, Hyunjin? Felix? You really want to know.”

“You owe me.” His voice dropped down a notch, causing her to stiffen. “Consider this one of my payments… Why Felix?”

Yeji didn’t know whether to laugh or scoff at the absurdity of this. Hyunjin was acting like a five-year-old brat. She opened her mouth to tell him off, but the look in his eyes made her think otherwise. He looked serious, like he-was-preparing-for-a-comeback serious, like college-exam serious, like he-was-about-to-meet-Jinyoung-Sunbaenim serious – serious-serious! She shut her mouth, taking in a deep breath as she struggled to find the right words to say.

She could have said because Felix was a gentleman and went to grab pizza and chicken for her. She could have also said she found his deep voice dreamy or his gentle character, charming. But for some reason, none of those things were coming into mind so she went with the first thing that crossed her mind.

“… He’s cute.” Her voice was as nonchalant as the way she was feeling – completely finished with this situation and finished with Hyunjin.

She was expecting it, but her cheeks still burned by the way he scrutinized her.

“What?! Why are you looking at me like that?” She spoke hotly, doing her best to maintain eye-contact with his judgmental eyes.

“He’s cute?” His voice was flat. “Really?”

“He is cute!” She didn’t know why she was blushing, but Hyunjin’s stare intimated her.

“I just didn’t expect such a shallow answer.”

“Did you expect me to say ‘He’s so hot’ or ‘I love his deep voice’?” She bristled.

“… That’s so basic.” He looked away.

She held back three insulting comebacks as well as a kick in the groin to that.

“Objectively speaking, from a fan-based perspective, it would probably be Chan Oppa. He has the best stage presence.” She shrugged unapologetically when he grimaced. “…But since it can’t be objective ‘cause I know you all TOO well, my favorite is Felix.”

“You don’t even talk to him.” He deadpanned, coming back to look at her.

“Exactly! Which means that my appreciation for him hasn’t gone down or up since we’re not close.” She smiled. “He’s cute.”

“…More than Jeongin?”

Of course, Hyunjin would ask that, having a soft spot for the Stray Kids maknae.

“Jeongin’s cute too, but Felix is a different kind of cute… His shyness is endearing.” She smiled as she thought about his reaction to her response – how those cute freckled cheeks became a pretty pink, how his light brown eyes darted nervously around as he stuttered a ‘thank you’.

Cute. Felix Lee was very cute.

For a moment, Hyunjin was quiet, mulling over her answer.

“Are you happy now?” Her smile dropped into a frown. “Geez, Hyunjin. You’re so petty! It’s not that big of a deal…”

Certainly not enough of a deal to throw Yeji under the bus by bringing up ACE, but with Hyunjin, anything was possible. The question about Felix may have just been the tip of the iceberg of a terrible day, being the final trigger to set him off. That was the thing about Hyunjin – he could be like a time bomb, allowing small things to pile up until he could no longer take it and then explode. Just like Yeji.

“But I’m sorry.” The words were out of her mouth before she processed them.

“For what?” He raised an eyebrow at her.

“I’m just… sorry.” She shrugged.

Technically, he should have been sorry considering he was the one who opened the can of worms, but Yeji always apologized first, both out of habit and also to be the bigger person.

One good thing about Hyunjin was that he never held grudges so the moment she apologized, they moved on. He was a time bomb, but once he exploded, he immediately reset. Her apologies always seemed to do the trick to placate him, but this time felt different. He fell silent, staring past her with a coarse look in his eyes as if he was thinking. Sucking in a deep breath, he finally spoke without meeting her gaze.

“…I’m going back to practice.” With that, he began his way down the hall.

“Are we good?” She called after him.

He gave her a thumbs up without looking back, causing her to shake her head.

Hwang Hyunjin could be really strange at times. Then again, Yeji shouldn’t have been too surprised. It was nothing out of the ordinary. She closed her eyes as she stretched out her arms, trying to reset her tired limbs before having to go back to her own practice when a whisper threw her off.

“… You said I’m cute.”

Her eyes shot open and she whipped her head to the hallway, letting out a gasp.

It had to have been her imagination because he was already gone and she was alone in the empty hall, but she could have swore she heard his voice. She must have been really exhausted to hear something like that because there no way on earth Hyunjin would ever say something like that to her (as petty as he was). But it felt so real, as if she could hear him quietly, but unmistakably clear.

**It was probably an auditory hallucination from exhaustion.**

That’s what she told herself as she sped back to her own practice room.

**Yep, a hallucination. That’s what it was.**

**‘Hwighting.’**

“… That’s it?” She raised an eyebrow, but Hyunjin shrugged.

“That was it. Maybe he ran out of things to say?”

“Or maybe he’s sick of trying to imagine you as Ryujin.” She teased, causing him to scoff.

“Hyung LOOOVES me.” He lifted his chin arrogantly. “He told me himself – I’m his favorite junior.”

“You sure it’s not you who loves him?” She teased. “I don’t hear much about Jinyoung Sunbaenim anymore.”

“Jinyoung Sunbaenim is my number one!” He squinted at her as he took a step back, acting as if she offended him. “… But Hyung’s pretty cool too.”

She smiled.

“… I’m sure he is.”

Yeji never brought it up – neither the Truth or Dare incident nor her hallucination. But Hyunjin didn’t either so it was fine. They continued business as usual.

Pretty soon 2019 came to an end and the new year of 2020 had begun. They continued their meetings into the New Year, with Hyunjin contacting her every 2-3 weeks to meet at their spot so he could relay a message. But Yeji found herself growing more anxious by the day.

Graduation was in February and she still hadn’t mentioned a word to Ryujin about what she was doing. It wasn’t like she didn’t want to or didn’t try. She tried, she really did – practicing the words she wanted to say in front of the mirror, writing the words down in her phone, pulling Ryujin aside so she could tell her privately. But every time Yeji opened her mouth to confess, her courage wilted and she ended up saying something else that was completely unrelated to anything at all.

What was she supposed to do? She felt the pressure of time running out, but felt helpless to act. And it was getting worse by the day. It eventually came to the point where Ryujin’s upcoming graduation date was the only thing she could think about, the only thing that consumed her to the entirety of being unable to focus on anything else.

“Unni, wanna go to the store with me?” Yuna linked an arm with Yeji’s, pulling her out of her reverie.

“… The store?” Yeji blinked, looking at her confusedly.

“You look stressed.” Yuna pursed her lips into a pout. “You look like you’re thinking too much… Maybe you just need to take a break.”

**A break. That would be lovely. Exactly what she needed.**

“Remember Unni, how we used to come here as trainees.” Yuna swung their clasped hands back-and-forth excitedly.

“Of course.” Yeji smiled.

The nearby convenient store was everyone’s favorite spot. The place they would go for snacks, breaks, and breathers. It was their safe haven, a place where they could have fun and pretend they were normal kids, talking about things outside of training and practice as they munched on goodies. It was also the place she met **_him._**

Yeji stiffened, but quickly shook her head with a smile when Yuna turned to her with a questioning glance.

No, she didn’t need to think about **_him_** right now. She was tired and stressed out as it was. Thinking about her own first love wouldn’t help anything, her failed first love would just make things worse.

**That’s right. She failed. She failed at fulfilling her own love story. She- NO! Stop.**

Yeji tried to brush all thoughts of her first love aside, because that’s all she could do. She couldn’t get ride of her memories completely, couldn’t block **_him_** out completely; but she could pretend. She could pretend that she was ok.

“I want to get ice cream and chips! Like 5 different type of chips! What about you, Unni?”

“I don’t know... Maybe-” Yeji stopped short, her eyes widening in shock.

_Blue hair._

She stared blankly at the window, a mixture of various emotions flooding into her as the flash of blue erased every other color from sight. Her breath got caught in her throat, silently suffocating her as time momentarily stood still for everything except blue.

“Unni?”

She released Yuna’s hand and turned back on her heel, sprinting as fast as she could back to the place she came from.

“Unni?!”

She ignored Yuna’s voice and picked up her feet, trying to escape the memories that threatened to collide straight into her.

**_“Homerun Balls are the best.”_ **

**_“How’s training going?”_ **

**_“Mint Chocolate?”_ **

**_“Kitty.”_ **

**_“I love you?”_ **

**_“Blue hair?”_ **

**_“Hwang Yeji.”_ **

**_“Hwang Yeji.”_ **

**_“… Bye Hwang Yeji.”_ **

Memories became hallucinations and she raced even faster, but it was too late. It wasn’t until she was back in the JYP building, inside one of the bathroom stalls that she realized her eyes stung with tears. She shuddered as she leaned against the wall, covering her mouth to conceal silent cries as waves of pain crashed over her.

**It’s just hair.**

It was just hair, only it wasn’t. It was just a face, only it wasn’t. It was just a person, but he wasn’t. It wasn’t anything, but it was everything.

By the time Yuna came back, Yeji had a bright smile painted on her face as she hugged the maknae and apologized for leaving her. Stomach pains is what she told the youngest.

“… Ok Unni.”

She could tell by Yuna’s expression that she didn’t believe her, but thankfully didn’t push the matter any further.

It wasn’t anything, but it was everything. It didn’t matter, only it did. But Yeji didn’t want to deal with it so she didn’t. She wanted to pretend and that’s what she did. She pretended everything was ok.

“Something good happen, Unni?” Ryujin giggled as Yeji wrapped her arms around the younger’s waist in a back-hug.

Yeji could hear the grin in Ryujin’s voice as she buried her face into Ryujin’s shoulder, inhaling the comforting scent of their lavender laundry detergent from the cotton sweater that the younger was wearing.

“… Just happy for you.” Yeji peeled her face off Ryujin’s back to give her a smile. “Regarding graduation.”

Ryujin beamed, giving her a flirtatious wink causing Yeji to laugh and tighten her hold on the doe-eyed girl, ignoring the hollow feeling she felt inside.

Everything was fine. Everything was ok. Because Yeji had told Ryujin the truth, because Yeji had shared about Byeongkwan... In her imagination.

Yeji wanted to pretend and so she did. She pretended she already told Ryujin and that Ryujin was ready to meet Byeongkwan. She pretended that when she talked to Ryujin about graduation, Ryujin knew exactly what she meant when deep inside, she knew Ryujin knew nothing. But she couldn’t stop.

“I missed you, Ryujin-ie.”

“Love you too, Unni.”

She had to pretend, because pretend was sweeter; pretend was easier than reality. She pretended she was ok. She wanted to pretend forever. But pretend never lasted forever.

It was just another day, a normal day when they were practicing together. They were on their break, but then Yuna played a song. It was a song Yeji pretended didn’t exist because its existence was proof that he was real.

**It’s fake. It’s fake. It’s not real.**

She tried telling herself, but it was too late. It was as if she was in a trance, paralyzed and helpless to stop it from unfolding.

Her members were singing **_his_** song and dancing **_his_** dance with all their might, belting out the chorus with their souls.

“Be my forever!” Yuna screeched at the top of her lungs.

“Call my name!” Ryujin and Chaeryeong threw their heads back as they shouted.

“RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY WITH ME!!” They all screamed the climax.

That released her from her spell and before she knew what she was doing, Yeji was already out the door, running without any direction.

**Stop. Make it stop!**

She ran so fast, she couldn’t even see where she was going, crashing into another person.

“I’m sorry-“ She didn’t bother looking up, but a hand latched onto wrist, chaining her down from rushing off again.

She looked up. **Hyunjin.**

_It only took one look, one second of eye-contact, one glance._

The next thing she knew, she was running again, her hand in Hyunjin’s unbreakable grip as he pulled her alongside him. She didn’t know where they were going and frankly, she didn’t care. Anywhere was fine, as long as it was away from here.

After what seemed like forever, they finally came to a stop and he let go of her wrist. She blinked back tears and when her vision cleared, could see that he had brought her to the lower rooftop.

The JYP building had cameras everywhere, but Bambam Sunbaenim had showed Chan, who had showed them, one section in the roof that wasn’t covered and that remained an open secret to all the artists at JYP. The lower roof was a complete blind spot, hidden from view of any cameras or people. Even getting to it was tricky, requiring them to climb up the wall on the side in order to avoid the cameras that were around the main entrance to the rooftop. This section was nicknamed the “Dating Zone” (and also the “Brawling Zone”), as it was the only place in all of JYP that anyone could meet in a completely privacy without getting caught.

Originally, she and Hyunjin had a strict code to never meet up here. Being called twins was bad enough; if they were caught up here, they knew they’d never hear the end of it. However, the fact that Hyunjin brought her here for the sheer privacy of the location was proof of their friendship, their bond.

After all – _it only took one look, one second of eye-contact, one glance_ for him to realize something was wrong with her.

“Talk to me.”

Typical Hyunjin with his calm voice that never asked, but always demanded.

“…Nothing.” She rubbed her eyes clean with one swipe of her arm.

“Tell me.” He probed, his brown eyes like weights as they gazed heavily down at her.

“It’s nothing.”

She didn’t want to tell him. She didn’t want to tell anyone what was wrong because it meant admitting she was wrong. It meant admitting that her pretend was wrong.

“Hwang Yeji-“ He started.

“Hwang Hyunjin.” She finished, steeling herself to look at him in quiet defiance.

“You’re upset.” He frowned. “And stressed… It’s concerning. Tell me.”

She hated that he could read her like an open book, that he could read her better than anybody else. But that didn’t mean she was going to give in to him. If she didn’t want to tell him, she wasn’t going to tell him. He’d have to deal with that.

“…Fine.” He sighed, scratching the back of his neck. “I’ll talk then.”

She looked at him in blankly as he stepped forward.

“I talked to Hyung. He said he’s coming to graduation for sure.”

She hummed.

**That was great, wasn’t it? She had already told Ryujin about it so Ryujin would be ready-**

“Graduation’s in two weeks.”

**What?**

That lit the first flame in her pretend world, a flicker of fire spreading rapidly. She looked at him in shock as he raised an eyebrow, a strange expression forming on his face.

“… You haven’t told her yet.”

The fire spread so quickly that in a matter of seconds, Yeji’s world was burning up. And she was completely powerless to stop it, watching as the flames engulfed the illusions so that there was nothing left for her. Absolutely nothing.

“Yeji-”

“I didn’t realize it was so soon.” Her voice cracked, just like the cracks that were shattering her life right now.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” He swore under his breath, looking away as she stared at him helplessly.

“…I’ll tell her.” She didn’t even believe herself, her voice lacking conviction about anything.

“You got to…”

“I will.” Her voice reflected the same emptiness she felt inside.

“Yeji, you have to tell her, like today.”

“I know. I will.” She parroted with the same shallow tone, sounding like an artificial robot.

“You have to tell her…”

“I know… I know! I will!” Out of nowhere, her annoyance surged.

**Why the heck was Hyunjin repeating himself? Didn’t he hear Yeji? It was almost as if he didn’t believe her.**

“When Yeji?” He frowned at her. “Graduation is less than two weeks. When are you going to tell her?”

**He didn’t believe her. Hyunjin didn’t believe her and Yeji didn’t believe in herself. If nobody believed her, what was she supposed to do? How was she supposed to face reality?**

“…I-“

“Yeji-“

“I-“

“When-“

“Just stop!” She exploded.

She couldn’t take it anymore. He was rendered speechless, staring at her in shock as she crumbled right in front of him.

“Stop Hyunjin! I told you I’ll take care of it and you keep stressing me out! And I have my own issues I’m dealing with on top of that- just stop! I don’t need your help anymore! Graduation is in two weeks? I’ll take care of it by then!” She all but screamed at him.

Her regret was immediate, but it was too late. Because Hyunjin wasn’t the only one who was like a time bomb, allowing small things to pile up until he could no longer take it and then explode. The other time bomb was Yeji, only when she exploded, there was so much chaff and leftover waste that she couldn’t forget. If Hyunjin’s debris was nonsense, Yeji’s wreckage was disaster.

She knew him well enough to see the tightness in his jaw, the clenching of his fists, and the frostiness in his eyes. Hyunjin was beyond angry. She turned away. She couldn’t deal with an unstable Hyunjin right now, not when she herself was completely unstable. It was too late.

“… Fine.” He stalked off, fuming and furious.

He was so angry that he left through the main entrance, completely indifferent to the five different cameras that caught him slamming the door behind him. The door shut with such a loud crash, it caused her flinch and it was only a few seconds later that she realized he had left her completely alone on the rooftop. He left her alone, just like she asked, just like wanted.

Yeji sank to her knees, buried her face in her hands, and cried.

Hyunjin was right. He had been right for a long time and he was only trying to help. It wasn’t his fault, it never was. But Yeji was tired.

She was tired of playing cupid when she herself didn’t know what love was. She was tired of trying to hold everything together when she didn’t know what she was doing. She was tired of running away even though that’s all she wanted to do. And finally, she was tired of ignoring her own heartbreak and pretending she was fine when a part of her was still broken by his memories.

So she stopped. She stopped running. She stopped pretending. She slumped to the ground as she closed her eyes and immersed herself in the memories of her own first love. And as she did so, she promised herself that this would be the last time. It would be the last time she’d linger and fully process everything that happened. And with that, it would be the last time she’d cry.

**_“Hwang Yeji.” He came next to her, his usual lazy smile on his face._ **

**_“Choi Yeonjun.”_ **

Yes; it would be the last time she’d cry over a boy named Choi Yeonjun.

**The last time...**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp...  
> The secret's out so I'll be adding tags in the next chapter. 
> 
> Spoiler: Next chapter is all about Yeji's first love :D


	6. Yeji's First Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the late update ㅠㅠ  
> This chapter was a little difficult to piece together, but I'm finally satisfied with it.  
> On a side note, it is longer than the previous chapters so I hope that makes up for my tardiness ^^
> 
> Also... IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. Woo Woo! So I hope you take this chapter as a gift from me-to-you and me-to-myself XD  
> Enjoy~

Choi Yeonjun was the Golden Boy – the boy that everyone wanted or wanted to be. He was handsome with sharp eyes and plushy lips. He was talented, unrivaled in both singing and dancing. He was clever, knowing all the tricks in the books regarding the best snack combinations and prices. He was charming with a twinkle in his eyes as he sweet-talked every person he came across.

He was the most popular male trainee gossiped about everywhere, the one that everyone knew would debut next, the one that all girls (except for Ryujin, of course) fawned over. Yeji was not immune from his charms, not in the very least. If anything, she was more enchanted by him than anyone else. It certainly didn’t help that their first meeting seemed to be something out of a romantic movie, an encounter by chance.

~~~~~~~~

Yeji dragged her feet as she trudged along the sidewalk, scuffling up the pavement with her shoes. It had only been two weeks since she had arrived in Seoul and she felt homesick already. Jeonju was 195 km away, which meant that Mom was 195 km away. She had transferred to a new school and was struggling to make friends, nobody interested in befriending the quiet new kid who transferred in the middle of the school year.

She willed herself not to cry. Why should she cry? This was her choice, wasn’t it? To join one of the greatest entertainment companies in all of South Korea. It was a blessing! She shouldn’t cry. Also everyone was super nice, especially Ryujin. A faint smile tugged on her lips as she remembered how the younger girl had greeted her, surprising her with a tight embrace out of nowhere. Yeji had gone into a daze as she stared down at the most angelic girl she had ever seen, who kept showering her with compliments.

_“Unni, you’re so pretty! You’re really pretty!” Ryujin’s doe-eyes were full of warmth as she squeezed the older girl, her arms refusing to let Yeji go._

_‘You’re beautiful,’ Yeji wanted to reply, but the words were caught in her throat._

Ryujin was truly one of, if not the most beautiful girl she had ever seen, with such a sweet personality to match. The younger girl sought her out almost every day, taking her around as she shared about the different things that made Seoul unique.

_“The street food here is AMAZING, Unni. We have hodeok and tteokbokki and fish cake soup. What’s Jeonju like? I’ve never been there, but if you came from there, it must be cool! Are all the girls pretty like you?”_

Yeji had never met a girl who was as friendly and outgoing as Ryujin, but she didn’t mind. The younger girl made her feel at ease. However, that didn’t stop the ache she felt in her tummy whenever she woke up in a room that wasn’t her own or when she put on the uniform that looked so different from her old school uniform. Everything still felt so foreign to her and she was learning how to cope.

Letting out a sigh, she shook away the remaining thoughts of homesickness. She had to become stronger, had to persist in her training. Instead of heading over to the JYP building right away, Yeji found herself walking to the convenience store that was on the way from school. Ryujin had taken her there last week, sharing that this was the store they frequented often due to its prime location. It wasn’t too far from the training center, yet was remote enough so that they wouldn’t have to worry about harassment from crazy fans.

Yeji took an instant liking to the store. For one, it was quieter and smaller compared to the noisy local shops on the main streets of Seoul. And two, the store had one thing that reminded her of home – Shrimp crisps, her favorite snack. As a trainee, she knew she had to limit her diet, but she was also a typical high school kid with specific cravings when she was stressed. It was better for her to eat and train with a somewhat happy attitude than to wallow in her misery, which would definitely affect her practice.

She entered the store quietly, shuffling over to her favorite section when a hand shot out and snatched it off the shelf faster than she could blink. She froze for a split second before taking two gigantic leaps to stand in front of the now-empty Shrimp crisps shelf. Her heart sank and as silly as it was, she wanted to cry. She had been feeling terrible all day. Was it too much to ask to have her favorite chips?

She ended up grabbing an ice cream bar and probably appeared visibly deflated because the cashier raised an eyebrow at her.

“Kids these days.” She heard him mutter as he rang up her order.

She looked down to hide her teary eyes. Was she that pathetic? A part of her regretted that she came to the store instead of going straight to the JYP building.

“Ring these up too, please.” An unfamiliar voice cut through her exchange with the cashier.

She looked up hazily to find a boy she had never seen before standing beside her, his own items on the counter as he held out a bill of 20,000 won. She was so disconcerted by his sudden and random presence that she couldn’t say a word, just stared at him wide-eyed in silence as he paid for both his things and her ice cream.

“Thank you.” He smiled at the cashier as he grabbed his stuff. “…Come on.”

He nodded at her to follow him and though she was perplexed, trailed after him like a lost kitten.

“For someone who’s about to eat ice cream, you look worried.” He chuckled. “Are you breaking the rules or something?”

She stared back at him dumbly as he smiled at her. Now that they were facing each other, she was taken aback at how handsome he was, with sharp eyes that crinkled into crescent moons when he smiled and cute lips that shaped into a boxy smile. He was tall too, at least a head taller than her, but not overbearingly. He kind of resembled a fox with sharp angles all over his face.

It was only when she blinked that she realized she had been staring and immediately looked down, averting her eyes. She was silent – not because she wanted to be, but because she didn’t know what to say. Her throat was dry and no words would formulate in her mind or lips.

“I won’t tell on you, you know.” He let out another laugh, handing her the frozen treat.

She took it from him and mumbled such a quiet ‘thank you’, she didn’t know if he heard it.

She furtively lifted her eyes and was startled to see him gazing at her with heightened interest. However, this time, she didn’t look away. As strange as it was, seeing him stare at her so blatantly allowed her to steel her nerves to meet his gaze. She stared back at him with unwavering eyes, although she remained uncertain of what to do or say. His smile widened and before she could blink again, he gave her something else.

“Here.” He practically shoved the package into her hands.

She looked down at her hands and then back at him with a puzzled expression on her face.

“Homerun Balls are the best.” He smirked, a playful glint in his eyes. “Also, don’t look so worried. Everything will work out… It always does for a pretty girl.”

With a friendly wave, he left. She watched as he joined a group of boys who had been waiting for him a few feet away.

“Ooh Choi Yeonjun! Aren’t you the ladies’ man?”

“Shut up.”

“Our Golden Boy! Choi Yeonjun. Choi Yeonjun!”

Yeji could hear his friends hooting in the distance as they walked off, but at that moment, there was only one thought in her mind.

**Choi Yeonjun. What a nice name.**

Yeji didn’t think too much about the incident. Once in a while, she’d find herself looking in the direction of the convenience store wistfully, but for the most part, it escaped her memory. She was sure she’d never see him again and had too many things on her mind to dwell upon a random stranger, no matter how kind or handsome he was.

She ended up bumping into him again when she expected it the least. It was two days before her second training evaluation and she and the other female trainees were at the convenience store to grab some snacks. It was funny because the Shrimp Crisps section was full, yet Yeji passed it to reach for a package of Homerun Balls.

“Do you like chocolate, Unni?” Ryujin asked with bright eyes.

“I love it.” She answered softly.

“Me too!” Chaeyeon smiled at her, gesturing to the box of Choco Pies she was getting. “Let’s share!”

“…Sure.” Yeji nodded, smiling back at her shyly.

She was still a bit shy, but all the girls were so nice and proactive about pulling her out of her shell that she was starting to fit right into place.

“Eh, for me it’s alright.” Ryujin shrugged. “I don’t really like sweets. I prefer spicy.”

Yeji smiled as Ryujin took the hands of two other younger trainees to scourge the store for all the spicy chips they could find.

“Shin Ryujin! Jeon Somi, Lee Chaeryeong! Hurry up!” One of the older female trainees called out. “We can’t wait all day for you three.”

Yeji quickly paid for her snack and quietly exited the store, waiting for the others to join her by the door. She wasn’t really paying attention to anything in particular, wasn’t thinking about much when someone interrupted her.

“Hey.”

She nearly jumped out of her skin at the voice that came out of nowhere as she munching on her Home Run Balls. She whirled her head and there he was, the fox-looking boy from the other day – Choi Yeonjun.

She blushed at the sound of his gentle chuckle.

“Feeling better?” He smiled lazily.

She bowed her head respectfully, tongue-tied once again with her voice caught in her throat.

“No flirting Choi Yeonjun!” A voice hollered from the side. “I ain’t waiting around for you!”

“Just talking to a friend.” He called back, relaxed.

He seemed completely unbothered by his friends’ smart comments and snickers around them, but Yeji was embarrassed, looking away as she wondered why he approached her a second time.

“They’re good, huh?” He gestured to the bag in her hand, the smile on his face widening when she raised her eyes to meet his gaze and nodded slowly.

“Cool… See you around.” And just like the first time, he gave her a quick wave before joining his friends.

She blinked in confusion, watching him as he strutted off. The moment he disappeared around the corner, Yeji found herself surrounded by curious females from all sides.

“Unni! What was that?”

“You’re friends with Choi Yeonjun?”

“How?”

“Since when?”

“Haven’t you only been here for a month?”

She was bombarded by questions that she herself didn’t know the answers to and wasn’t even given an opportunity to speak. Luckily, Ryujin seemed to notice her discomfort and immediately came to her side, linking arms with her.

“What is this? A police investigation?” Ryujin frowned at the girls around them. “Yeji Unni’s nice so why wouldn’t she be friends with that guy?”

“ _’That guy’_?” All the older female trainees snorted as Ryujin shrugged carelessly.

“ _’That guy’_ is not just any guy. _‘That guy’_ is **_THE_** **Big Hit Legendary trainee** , one of the **_best_** trainees and the most anticipated future idol!” Somi all but screeched.

“Who?” Ryujin voiced the thought Yeji had outloud, blank looks on both their faces.

“Choi Yeonjun! Born in 1999 from Bundang! He used to be a trainee here at JYP. Then he switched to Cube and now, he’s at Big Hit, consistently ranked #1 in every evaluation for all subjects!”

How Somi knew all of that information, Yeji didn’t know. But then again, Somi was a social butterfly as well the trainee with the longest time at JYP. She knew EVERYTHING and EVERYONE. The girl was even friends with the GOT7 members, something that everyone (Yeji included) was envious of.

“…Well, Yeonjunie is pretty popular.” Chaeyeon mused as they starting walking back to the JYP building. “So I’m not that surprised. That kid knows everybody.”

“Yeonjunie?”

Thankfully the attention diverted from Yeji to Chaeyeon as all the girls looked at her gaping, but the older girl shrugged.

“What? He’s younger than me. I’m not calling him Oppa.”

“But Yeonjunie…” The girls wailed, jealous of the familiarity of his name. “You’re close to him Unni?”

“Nope. But like I said, he knows everybody and everybody calls him Yeonjunie. So he’s Yeonjunie.”

“Lucky! I want to call him Yeonjunie!”

“Yeonjunie Oppa!”

They fangirled over the foxy boy with fawns and squeals.

“Seems like you’re friends with a very popular boy, Unni.” Ryujin whispered into Yeji’s ear. “I’m sure everyone’s jealous. All the girls like him.”

“... All the girls… except you.” She smiled as Ryujin let out a soft inhuman noise and looked away, cheeks flushed with soft pink.

Yeji may have caught Ryujin a few times peeking into the practice room where the oldest male trainee tended to use, her doe-eyes sparkling with wonder as she spied into the room. If Yeji recalled correctly, his name was Byeongkwan Oppa.

Cute. Ryujin was so cute.

Two more months passed by when she saw him for a third time. She had lost a game and was assigned to get drinks for everyone. Ryujin offered to go with her, but Yeji assured that she would be fine on her own. It wasn’t every day that they got to play games with the boys and the way Ryujin’s eyes sparkled as they gazed over at her crush was downright adorable. Yeji didn’t want to take that away from her. Plus, she was an introvert by nature so it was sometimes nice to have time to herself.

She hummed as she walked along that path to the store. To be honest, she was in a good mood. Three months had already gone by since she had moved to Seoul and honestly, the days kept getting better. After scoring high on her first evaluation, it was as if a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. Doubts she had were about pursuing this career were slowly starting to melt away and homesickness faded into something that was more bearable.

She had been so focused on switching glances between her phone that contained the drink orders and the drink aisle that she was caught off guard when a familiar voice disrupted her.

“You sure you can carry all those on your own?”

It took her an extra five seconds to realize that the voice was addressing her, causing her to turn around. There he was again: the Big Hit Legendary Trainee, the popular kid, the foxy-boy who somehow stumbled into Yeji’s life – Choi Yeonjun.

She blinked and when he gestured to the drinks in her cart, gave him a slow nod like she did the other time they met.

“Did you lose a bet or something?” He teased, a lazy smirk on his face. “Why are there so many drinks?”

Yeji knew she was an introvert, but she didn’t realize that she was this hopeless, at a complete loss for words towards a boy she had now encountered three times. Since she couldn’t say anything, she gave him another curt nod before turning away embarrassedly.

She continued down the aisle, reaching for a few extra sodas when she became aware of his blatant fixation upon her. He was leaning against the wall, his sharp eyes crinkled with an amused smile on his face as he observed her. She glanced at him a few times, but that only caused his grin to widen, though he didn’t say a word. She felt a slight discomfort in her stomach. Not fear, because she knew he wasn’t a bad person, but discomfort at how he was watching at her so openly, so _shamelessly_.

Since he was standing by the aisle entrance, she had to pass by him to get to the cash register. Swallowing uncomfortably, she ambled over to where he was standing. The Cheshire smile was still on his face as he stood up straight, motioning for her to pass. She inhaled deeply before passing him, careful not to bump into him or make any type of physical contact. She was walking to the cashier when he spoke again.

“How’s training going?”

She could have ignored him, could have pretended she didn’t hear him as she went to pay for the drinks. How the heck did he know she was a trainee anyways? And even if he did, she wasn’t obligated to tell him anything. It was none of his business and they were still strangers to each other. But there was a part of her that didn’t want pass by him a third time without saying anything. After all, he had been nothing but kind to her since they met. And to be frankly honest, a part of her was curious as to why someone so popular, someone so _special_ , would pay attention to somebody like her.

She stopped. Slowly, she turned around so that she was facing him.

“… It’s alright.” She felt her cheeks burn as his eyes slightly widened, as if he was amazed she could speak at all. She took in a quiet breath before continuing. “It’s only been three months so I’m still adjusting… But everyone’s nice and helpful… So I’m just doing my best.”

His smile caused her to avert her eyes, her heartbeat slowing down in her chest. Seeing him up close for a third time, she realized something – she really liked his smile.

“Is Teacher Kim still there?”

Her head snapped back up so quickly he laughed.

“Yes… Teacher Kim was there back then?” Her voice was still hesitant, but she found herself speaking more comfortably this time.

“’You gotta bounce! Bounce! You’re not bouncing to the groove! Bounce!’” He mimicked, startling her into a delightful laugh.

“He still does that, right?” He smirked as she tried to stifle her laugh by covering her mouth, but failed miserably.

She nodded, giggles still trailing out of her mouth.

“I don’t know what he means.” She spoke without thinking, surprising herself, but he smiled.

“Me neither. After two years, I still have no idea what he means by bouncing to the groove.” He imitated the way Teacher Kim would move, causing her to laugh again.

“Choi Yeonjun! We’re leaving you behind.” A voice hissed.

Yeji turned and could see two boys waiting by the entrance, looking mildly annoyed. She turned back to the foxy boy, who let out a light scoff.

“And that’s my cue to leave.” He sighed. “Nice talking to you again. Let me know if you ever figure out what Teacher Kim means. Bye…”

He was leaving when Yeji spoke without thinking for a second time.

“… Yeji.” She felt her throat go dry as he came back to face her, but she mustered up all her courage. “Hwang Yeji.”

He blinked. Then he smiled, his eyes curving into crescent moons – the smile that she liked.

“Choi Yeonjun.”

 _‘I know.’_ She wanted to say. She nodded in acknowledgement instead.

“See you later Hwang Yeji.” He called behind him, waving as he passed through the door.

A shy smile formed on her lips as her eyes lingered on the back of his head through the window for a few seconds.

Exchanging names was only the beginning. He wasn’t just the foxy-boy who showed up once in a while to disrupt Yeji’s life anymore. They developed an interesting relationship, arguably friendship.

“Mint chocolate?” He wrinkled his nose in disgust.

Yeji was standing outside the convenience store eating some ice cream happily when he turned up.

“It’s good.” She frowned at him, a little offended at the backhanded insult towards her favorite flavor.

“Really? Doesn’t it taste like toothpaste?” He pursed his lips into a pout.

That pout along with the downward curve of his sharp eyes and subtle whine in his voice almost caused her to drop the ice cream altogether. It was a good thing that he was focused on the ice cream in her hand, otherwise he would have seen how Yeji’s eyes faltered.

“… Try it yourself.” Her ears burned as he gaped at the spoon that she held towards his face.

She knew she was being bold, but seeing _that_ expression gave her a newfound confidence. That pout made him look younger, more approachable, and completely adorable. And she thought his smile looked good. He was practically irresistible with the pout on his lips. So she kept her hand out, lifting up her chin stubbornly as he mulled over whether to take it or not.

With a skeptical look in his eyes, he took the spoon from her hand. She watched him, fascinated as he sucked in a deep breath, shut his eyes tightly, and then shoved the spoon into his mouth. She took in a silent breath and waited. Suddenly, his eyes shot open, becoming huge once again and this time, she smiled.

“It’s good, isn’t it?” She couldn’t help but slightly puff up.

“It’s amazing!” He held out the spoon eagerly. “Can I have another bite?”

“Go for it.”

She looked away nonchalantly, trying to cover up how embarrassed she was inside at how they had just shared an indirect kiss with her spoon. He sure didn’t seem to mind, shoveling up a generous spoonful from her cup before placing it into his mouth once again, relishing the flavor with his entire face.

“Choi Yeonjun! Where’d you go?!” A voice barked.

“Gotta go.” He handed the spoon back to her, a wide grin on his face at the newfound discovery of mint chocolate chip.

“Thanks for the ice cream! I’ll buy next time!” He hollered behind his shoulder, waving as he took off running to go back to practice.

Yeji watched until he disappeared from view, her hand gripping the spoon so tightly that its mark was engraved inside her palm.

There was no set day that they met and they didn’t meet every week. They never scheduled meetings, never talked about when they would see each other next. Nevertheless, Yeji found herself growing accustomed to seeing him at the convenience store at least twice a month. The days that they would meet were random, but that was part of the fun. It was always a delightful surprise whenever they met.

“You know, you don’t have to be so formal, right?” He frowned, wrinkling his nose as they walked to the snack aisle. “You can just call me Yeonjunie, like everyone else.”

 _‘But I don’t want to be like everyone else.’_ She wanted to say.

“You call me Hwang Yeji.” She said instead, tilting her head to the side with a soft pout.

“Do you want me to call you, Yeji? Yeji-yah?” He brought his face dangerously close to hers with an amused smirk on his lips, causing her to blink nervously as she leaned away from him.

“Or how about Yezzers? Or Yay-G!” He went back to teasing, causing her to roll her eyes.

“Please stop.” She shook her head, reaching for a Home Run Ball as he continued obnoxiously beside her.

“Kitty?”

She felt her heart lurch at the nickname, but kept her face away, pretending to be unaffected by him.

“Let’s just be Hwang Yeji and Choi Yeonjun.” She tried to dismiss.

“But Choi Yeonjun is what my boys call me. The only girl who calls me that is my mom and that’s when I’m in getting in trouble.” He complained, a petulant pout forming on his lips.

Gosh, was he trying to kill Yeji? How could someone so handsome be so annoying and cute at the same time?

“It sounds weird from you-“

“Jun.”

He froze as she stood up straighter, steeling herself to look him straight in the eyes boldly.

“Jun,” She repeated. “Jjunie… I’ll call you that.”

He was silent for a moment before nodding slowly.

“Ok… Ji.”

They both cringed at the same time.

“Please don’t ever call me that ever again.” She pretended to gag as he clutched his stomach and looked away in shame.

“I won’t. Ever.” He promised. “Ok. Kitty it is.”

**What?**

Yeji looked at him wide-eyed in shock, but he smirked.

“What? If you get to call me a cute nickname, I get to call you one too.” He winked.

Yeji should have known that he didn’t mean anything by it, that it was just how Choi Yeonjun was. She later found out he had nicknames for all of his friends – Baby, Darling, Dear, Bunny, etc. He was a social butterfly, flittering from here to there, going wherever he pleased. Still, at that moment in time, she wanted to think herself as the one special flower that the butterfly visited with consistency.

“Yeji?”

“Mom. I missed you.” She smiled warmly when she heard her mom’s bright laughter over the phone.

“My Baby! I missed you too. How’s Seoul?”

She chatted with her mother for a few minutes before promising to call back another time.

“Why missed?” He asked, once she got off the phone.

They had already paid for their snacks and were stalling for a few minutes outside before they would have to head over to their respective practices.

“Hmm?” She looked at him wide-eyed in confusion.

“Why do you say ‘I missed you’ instead of ‘I miss you’?”

Yeji felt a soft smile tug on her lips. She remembered asking the same thing to her Mom.

“’I miss you’ is saying I currently miss you… That I’m longing to see you.” She echoed her mother’s words softly. “But ‘I missed you’ means-“

“That you don’t miss that person anymore?” He snickered, causing her to roll her eyes.

“That I don’t NEED to miss that person anymore, because I’m talking to them or because they’re in front of me. It’s another way of saying… I-”

“I love you?” He finished for her, the smirk on his face softening into a gentle smile.

“… Yeah.” She smiled shyly back at him, nodding.

“That’s nice.”

She felt butterflies churn in her stomach as he chuckled.

Another time, they met the day after evaluations. She practically ran to him, adrenaline from the day before still pumping through her veins.

“How were evaluations?” He nodded at her with his usual lazy smile.

“… I was ranked number 1.” Yeji could hardly contain her excitement, her eyes lighting up with a bright smile on her face.

“Nice! Congratulations!”

She gladly accepted his high-five, completely over the moon about her result. A part of her was also feeling smug due to the fact that she beat Hyunjin-

“You’re not gonna ask me what I got?” His voice interrupted her quiet glee.

“Jjunie, we both know you’re ranked number 1.” She rolled her eyes as she reached to grab a Homerun Ball.

“It could have changed!” He protested.

“Vocal Number 1, Dance Number 1, Charm Number 1.” She recited in a monotonous tone, ignoring his offended squawk as she purposely ignored making eye-contact with him.

Yeji knew his ranking by heart. Everyone did. After all, he wasn’t Choi Yeonjun if he didn’t rub it in everyone’s faces.

“I could have gone down.” He let out something similar to a whine, causing her to look back at him with a blank expression.

“Did you?” She raised an eyebrow at him as he broke into a sheepish smile.

“… No.”

“Then there was no point of me asking. But congratulations to you too.” She gave him a polite smile, stifling a giggle as he grumbled about nobody appreciating him.

“By the way, what do you think of I dye my hair?” He asked out of the blue as they were munching on their respective Homerun Balls, standing outside the store and enjoying the cool breeze of spring.

“… Is that allowed?” She was taken aback.

At her old high school, students weren’t allowed to dye their hair as it was considered unkempt. And knowing Yeonjun, she had a feeling he wouldn’t want to dye his hair a natural color like brown. He’d probably go for something extreme, something bold, just like his personality.

“Why not?” He shrugged his shoulders. “I attend a performing arts high school now. It should be fine.”

“Ok… What color?” She was curious.

“I was thinking of blue.”

Even though Yeji knew he was bold, it still took her an extra 10 seconds to process what he just said.

“… Blue hair?” She couldn’t stop the giggles from erupting from her stomach as he frowned at her.

“Hey!” He whined. “It was just a thought!”

“You mean like those anime characters? Kuroko no Basket?”

“Whatever Hwang Yeji! I didn’t realize you could be so mean!” He huffed, causing her to break out into another fit of giggles.

**Blue hair. Really now?**

She peered up at him, trying to imagine that silky black hair into an ocean blue. Surprisingly, she wasn’t too repelled by the idea. But then again, that was so like Yeonjun – to try something new and then make it his.

She noticed he was still glowering from the corner of his eye so to pacify him, decided to let out a thought.

“… I think it would work.” She gave him a small smile. “It wouldn’t look bad.”

“You think I can rock it?” He turned back to her, his eyes crinkling into a childish smile.

He could have had a mop on his head or shaved all of his hair off and still rocked it. He could have rocked any style he wanted. But she didn’t voice that thought out loud. There was no need to feed his ego.

“Why not?” She said instead, letting out another giggle as he perked up happily.

They were stuck in limbo – a state of uncertainty, juggling between “is” and “maybe’s”. But Yeji should have known limbo was never good for anyone. It gave people false hope and false expectations; it distorted reality and caused a decline in the mental, physical, and emotional states of wellbeing.

She should have known by the way he never asked to exchange contact information with her. She should have seen the signs of how he slowly distanced himself from her, not coming to the convenience store in months. She should have realized by the way he walked briskly with a cold look in his eyes, passing by so quickly that he didn’t hear her call his name or see her wave. She should have understood by his track record. He never stayed long anywhere because he was always on the go, climbing up so high and fast to where he’d eventually become out of everyone’s reach. His ambition to be number 1 was so all-consuming and undeterred by anything else that he’d do whatever it took to go beyond the stars in the sky. But still, she hoped that he would stay within her reach, that she would be different from all the other things he discarded and gave up in order to be at the top. Her delusion of him is what ended up hurting her.

The last time she saw him, truly saw him before they met under their perfect idol facades, was in February when she had just finished her second year of high school. Yeji hadn’t seen him since the new year began. She knew he graduated high school, but didn’t attend his graduation. He didn’t invite her. In fact, he hadn’t spoken to her in three months, probably due to stresses of practice and final exams. She waited at the convenience store every day for the past 3 months to see whether he’d turn up. When he finally did show up, it was when he was cold and distant, a hardened look in his eyes and all signs of his usual lazy smile nowhere to be found. It was terrible timing on Yeji’s part to confess, but then again, she was that pathetic wasn’t she?

It was a late afternoon. He was standing outside of the convenience store, a grimace on his face as he stared at his phone with a vacant look in his eyes. Yeji didn’t have a reason to stop by the convenience store as Yuna had already picked up a Homerun Ball for her earlier, but something compelled her to go to the store that day. Something told her in her gut that he would be there and sure enough, he was. She slowly wandered over to where he was, slipping into a daze as she focused on the boy she hadn’t seen in a while, the boy whom she missed.

“Jjunie…” Her voice was soft, so soft that she thought he didn’t hear her.

He looked up from his phone.

“Hwang Yeji.” He gave her a half-smile.

That was the first warning sign, the signal to back off and not to pursue him any longer. But Yeji wasn’t thinking properly. She was too blinded by her feelings of longing, of want.

“Congratulations on your graduation.” She handed him the package of Homerun Balls.

“…Thanks.” He forced a smile and took it from her, putting it down on the plastic table next to him.

That was the second sign. Rather than opening up the package and devouring the snack like he would usually do, he put it down as if he was telling her to put down her feelings for him. Instead of asking her how she was doing, he remained quiet, staring motionlessly at the floor. Clearly he was out of it, too disturbed by something else to pay attention to anything else. But she missed him.

Sucking in a deep breath, she mustered up all her courage to say the words she’d wanted to say for a while.

“I missed you.” Her dry throat caused her to voice to break off, laying down her raw feelings in front of him.

She watched as he froze, shock evident on his face. She smiled, stifling the laugh that threatened to erupt from her gut at how his eyes had nearly doubled in size.

But then he took a step back, away from her. Her smile dropped as courage dissolved into fear, a chill running down her spine as goospbumps formed on her skin. A deep shadow cast over his eyes thanks to the cap he wore, but she could still see them clearly, could see that the eyes that usually brimmed with life were brittle and cold. He shifted uncomfortably on his feet from left-to-right.

Dread came over her as he smiled, but only with his mouth and not his eyes. His lips that usually said only the sweetest of words were pressed tightly together as if they had been sewn shut.

He let out an airy laugh, a laugh that sounded so fake that she felt as if he had dropped her heart.

“… Bye Hwang Yeji.”

And with that, he dashed away, literally running away from her and her feelings that she had laid in front of him, the box of Homerun Balls left untouched and careless on the table.

His black shirt clung to his back as he ran away, not once looking back to see the remains of her heart that he shattered.

~~~~~~~~~~

Yeji ran out of tears. Her eyes were completely dried out and her stomach, growling with pangs of hunger. She had poured out herself unto the solitude of the rooftop and now, felt completely void as she stared up at her sole companions under the night sky. The stars were beautiful tonight.

She let out a sigh as she contemplated the lingering things of him that remained. How did she allow herself to be so consumed by him? Why did she fall so deeply and allow him to stomp on her heart? And most importantly, why couldn’t she let go?

 **Because Jjunie was her first love.** It was hard to let go of Jjunie simply because he was the first boy she had ever loved. It was hard to let go of the one who brought her happiness for the first two years of her life in Seoul.

 **But Jjunie didn’t exist anymore.** There was only TomorrowxTogether Yeonjun now. Yeonjun, the 4th-generation-it-boy from one of the hottest idol groups; Yeonjun, the artist she respectfully admired as a colleague; and Yeonjun, a complete stranger.

She closed her eyes and pictured the present Yeonjun – blue hair, a sharper jaw-line, matured face. She didn’t know why she had been so triggered by her members singing “Run Away” earlier or why she herself had run away when she caught glimpse of him at the convenience store with Yuna. Her heart didn’t beat for him anymore. There were no butterflies in her stomach when she passed by him, no flutters she felt when she heard his voice. They had debuted around a similar time so she passed by him a number of times, feeling absolutely nothing. They even MCed together for a special music episode and she had felt nothing.

That day, the Yeonjun that stood in front of her was not the Jjunie she knew. He smiled at her the same way she smiled at everyone else she didn’t know – polite and cheerful but only on the surface level, a perfect idol mask. He kept that mask on the entire time they hosted the show and so did she, as if they were complete strangers. But in a sense, they were. They never went out of their way to greet each other apart from the usual idol greetings, never shared with anyone about their past history. And she had no reason to cry over a stranger so she was apathetic, apathetic to the idol Yeonjun.

Yeji knew that apart from Ryujin, all her members were oblivious to the fact that she knew him personally. Aside from Ryujin, nobody else knew the secret about her first love. Nobody except Ryujin.

**_Ryujin._ **

****

She sat up, all thoughts of Yeonjun fading into nothingness as Ryujin’s face came into mind.

_Ryujin… What about Ryujin?_

She made her way back to the practice room, struggling to reorganize her thoughts as she mulled over what she would say when confronted with ditching practice. It wasn’t like Yeji to skip practice. Even when she was sick she’d be in the practice room, dancing her heart and soul out without letting anyone restrain her.

She opened the door to the practice room, expecting to be assailed with questions, anger, stress, and a hundred other things. She was greeted with silence, much to her surprise. Stepping into the room, she was puzzled as to why her members would leave the lights on when they were all gone only to realize that not everybody was gone. Someone was waiting for her.

Yeji’s eyes immediately locked with Ryujin’s and the next thing she knew, she was lost. All concept of time vanished as she lost herself in Ryujin’s eyes, once again.

She had been doing that a lot the past few weeks, gazing at her with helpless eyes as she fought her inner battles on how to deal with the situation with Byeongkwan. The funny thing was, Ryujin always caught her staring, but never questioned her. She simply stared back, always, just like how she was doing now. Ryujin stared back at her and Yeji felt like she was drowning in those brown pools, eyes that seemed like they knew everything but nothing at the same time.

A part of her wondered if Ryujin knew, whether Ryujin could read her mind and could see her struggles. After all, the younger never looked away first. But when Yeji sank deep into Ryujin’s eyes, different memories came rushing back to her. Not memories of Yeonjun, but of her old trainee days; of playing ‘Truth or Dare’ in the halls deep into the night; of observing Ryujin’s puppy crush on Byeongkwan; and most importantly, of significant moments between Ryujin and Yeji.

“… Where is everyone?” After what seemed like a lifetime, Yeji finally found her tongue.

“Back home. I told them you were feeling sick so you went home to take a nap. I also told them that you were gonna come practice after your nap so I decided to stay behind.” Ryujin stood up, keeping her doe-eyes fixed on Yeji.

“… Ryujin-“ Yeji felt as incapable as she sounded, only for Ryujin to move swiftly so that the younger was standing in front of her.

“I brought you dinner.” Ryujin smiled, reaching for her hand to intertwine their fingers together. “You’ve been stressed lately, right?”

“I’m sorry.” Yeji mumbled, looking down.

If it weren’t for the fact that she had spent all her tears within the past few hours, she probably would have cried again.

“Oh Unni…” Ryujin pulled Yeji into her arms, embracing the older girl tightly. “You must have been having a hard time…”

It was amazing that after five years, Yeji’s first comfort was still found in Ryujin. She sighed and leaned into the arms that held her warmly, the arms that made her feel just at ease as they did on day one of her idol journey.

“You know you can tell me about anything, right?” Ryujin patted her back soothingly. “…Anything you go through is important to me, because you’re my friend, Unni.”

Yeji didn’t say a word after that, becoming mute for the rest of the night. Even when her other members rushed at her when they arrived home, demanding an explanation for her disappearance, she couldn’t say anything. Just motioned for them to sleep while silently promising to explain later.

**Was she being selfish?**

A part of her wondered. No, a part of her _realized_ as she gazed at Ryujin again on another day. Yeji was selfish, completely selfish.

Why was Ryujin’s love story so important to her? Why did she interfere in the first place? What was she trying to prove?

It was important because it fulfilled her secret desire for romance. She interfered because she craved for the butterflies and fluttering feelings that came with the concept of love. And she was desperate to prove that through Ryujin, she could achieve a love story, the love story she couldn’t have with Yeonjun.

But Byeongkwan wasn’t Yeonjun and Ryujin was not Yeji. They had their own story, their own journey of love and of life, and it was never her place to interfere.

While insightful, this new revelation did nothing to spur Yeji into action. If anything, it demoralized her from sharing with Ryujin even more. After all, hadn’t she done enough? Wasn’t it now time for her to mind her own business instead of adding to the mess that she’d made? Yeji felt the weight of crushing guilt regarding her scheme behind Ryujin’s back, but was unable to do anything. She remained in her guilt, stagnant and powerless. Two weeks passed by in a span of three blinks and it was finally Ryujin’s graduation day.

**Do something! Say something!**

Yeji’s mind screamed at her to spur into action before it was too late.

“… Ryu-Ryujin!” She called out one last time, desperate to right her wrongs.

Ryujin paused and turned around, but the moment their eyes met, Yeji’s throat dried up. Her tongue stuck to the roof of her mouth as Ryujin looked at her curiously, shifting from one foot to the other.

“Yes Unni?” She nodded, doe-eyes acting as a magnetic pull to draw Yeji in.

Yeji’s body moved on its on, lurching forward to plant a chaste kiss on Ryujin’s cheek.

“… Congratulations.” She mumbled feebly.

Ryujin’s eyes lit up, her lips curving into a genuine smile.

“Thank you, Unni. I’ll see you when you get back.”

Yeji watched her leave, helplessly. She had been unable to say another word, unable to say the real words she wanted to say. The shame that covered her entire body remained too large a chasm to cross. She was too late.

She was silent the rest of the day. Even when she gave her other members good-bye hugs before heading for the train station, she was quiet. Wordlessly, she watched her 9:35 pm train depart without her, the void inside her growing bigger as she sat by the tracks and watched different trains pass by.

Soon it became midnight and Yeji was still despondent, stuck in the same place she had been for the past two weeks, for the past six months. She was supposed to go home three hours ago, but was trapped in her unfinished business. Byeongkwan was at the park right now and Ryujin would never know. Ryujin would never show up and it was all Yeji’s fault.

How did she let it get this far without saying a word? She was supposed to fix it and now it was too late. She couldn’t fix it. She was too late.

**_Too late. Failed love. Failure… Again._ **

And now, Yeji realized why she had been so triggered by Yeonjun. It actually wasn’t Yeonjun at all that had caused her meltdown. No. It was fear, the fear of _failure_. Yeji had been so afraid she would fail and the memory of her own failed first love had caused her to explode.

Her eyes welled up with tears, causing her to choke on her breath. But before she could experience another breakdown, her body moved on its own for the second time that day.

It was funny because for the past two weeks, she had been at such a loss on what to do, had no clue where to start. Yet now, in the face of failure, there was only one thing she could do. She pulled out her phone and dialed the only person left in her mind, the only person she could think of. He was the one person who had been by her side through this whole time. And he was the one person who would always answer her call, the person where her second comfort was found.

“…Hello?” He picked up within 2 rings.

“Hyunjin,” Her voice cracked as she began to shake, overwhelmed with emotions.

**“… I messed up.”**


	7. Hwang Origins & Mission Completed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so behind! ㅠㅠ  
> I'm so sorry! Writer's block can be hard sometimes!  
> Thank you for your patience. ^^  
> I promise the next chapter will come out in a more timely manner! 
> 
> With that being said, Ryujin's Happy Ending!  
> Let's go! ^^

“Hyunjin,” Her voice cracked as she began to shake, overwhelmed by a flood of emotions. “… I messed up.”

He was quiet, but she could hear soft breathing over the line indicating that he was listening.

“What do I do?” Her voice broke as she did her best to control the sob that threatened to escape her lips.

“…Where are you?”

“Gangnam Train Station.” She sniffled, wiping her tears on her sleeve.

“Give me 20 minutes.”

He’d come in 15, Yeji was sure of it. Because that’s just how Hyunjin was. Hwang Hyunjin – her enemy and friend, the bane of her existence and her partner in crime, her ‘twin’. Hyunjin, who after all these years, still only took **_one look, one second of eye-contact, one glance._**

Yeji could remember the first time she ever laid eyes on Hyunjin. Their first meeting took place in the practice rooms. It was completely normal, nothing special. But for some reason, she could remember it so clearly. It was a vivid memory, engrained into her.

~~~~~~~~

“Hey, Unni?” Ryujin linked arms with her.

“… Hmm?” Yeji broke out of her reverie.

“Have you met the boys yet?”

“… I’ve seen a few… But I haven’t been introduced properly…”

Granted, it had only been 10 days since Yeji arrived in Seoul. She hadn’t even been introduced to all the girls yet, having been too shy to go and introduce herself first. Boys were the least of her concerns at the moment. They shared the same cafeteria and practice rooms so Yeji did see a few boys here and there, but she always kept her head down so she never saw any of their faces clearly. The only male trainee’s face she could recognize was the one that used the big practice room at the end of the hall and that was only because he was the one Ryujin made a point of stopping and staring at throughout the day.

“Ryujin! Hi Unni!” A perky voice rang out.

Yeji turned her head to see who had joined Ryujin’s other side and smiled. It was Jeon Somi.

Somi and a few other trainees had barely rejoined their practices after the end of the Sixteen Survival show. While the disappointment of all the other girls who didn’t pass was obvious, Somi didn’t seem fazed at all, hyper and friendly to everyone. She was even more outgoing than Ryujin and there wasn’t a single day that passed without her flaunting her social skills. With that being said, she could be a bit loud at times, overstepping boundaries that Yeji wasn’t ready to loosen just yet. It was in those times Ryujin would come to her rescue, gently chiding the other to moderate her behaviors until Yeji was fully comfortable with them. Somi would immediately apologize profusely with puppy eyes to match so Yeji could never find it in herself to be truly angry or annoyed. While still a little uncomfortable, she found herself slowly endeared as Somi deliberately toned down her enthusiasm to match Yeji’s pace.

“Unni, feel free to tell me off if I’m being too loud.” Somi had told seriously the other day. “I don’t want to be disrespectful.”

“… You’re not.” Yeji gave her a shy smile, causing the younger to beam.

“I like you, Unni.” She declared a little too loudly as she clasped Yeji’s hand tightly.

Though she felt slightly awkward, warmth pooled into Yeji’s heart at the sincere declaration.

“… I like you too.” Yeji wanted to cringe at how robotic she sounded, but Somi didn’t seem to mind, her own grin widening.

“Oh good!” Somi gave her one last friendly squeeze before letting go, bouncing off to play with the other girls.

“…What about me?”

Yeji turned her head and blinked in surprise as Ryujin sat down next to her. It was the first time she had seen that pretty face without a smile, pink lips curled into a pout and doe-eyes glowered. She practically melted at the sight of Ryujin sulking, a deep fondness that she couldn’t explain settling over her.

“… I like you most.”

She almost cooed at how the pout immediately transformed into a blinding smile, Ryujin’s eyes and lips curving up in satisfaction. She smiled as Ryujin shuffled closer to lay on her shoulder.

“… Me too, Unni.”

“Unni, by any chance, do you have a brother who’s a trainee here?” Somi’s clamoring voice interrupted Yeji’s thoughts.

That was another admirable thing about her: Somi spoke her mind and asked without thinking. She was bold, something that Yeji could learn from her.

“… No.” Yeji blinked slowly.

“How about a cousin then?”

“No...” She felt slightly bewildered at the random questions.

“Really? Because Hyunjin Oppa looks just like you.”

**Who?**

“Hyunjin?” Ryujin seemed just as puzzled as Yeji was, furrowing her brow at Somi.

“Yeah. Haven’t you noticed? She looks just like Hyunjin.” Somi was unfazed by their confusion.

“Who’s Hyunjin?” Ryujin blanked as Somi laughed.

“We played Mafia last month together! Do you not remember his face?”

“No...”

Probably because Ryujin’s eyes were fixated on someone else. Yeji might have not been there, but she was certain of it. The doe-eyed girl wore her feelings on her sleeve. It had taken less than a day for Yeji to notice that her new friend had the most gigantic and obvious crush on someone. How no one else noticed was a wonder to Yeji.

“Come on! I’ll show you!” Somi slung her arms around both girls’ shoulders, steering them into the direction down the hall where the boys generally practiced.

Yeji was so confused by the randomness of the younger girl that she allowed Somi to lead her, clueless to what was happening. She remained in a daze as Somi enthusiastically shoved her and Ryujin into one of the medium-sized rooms.

“Hey Oppas! Somi’s in the house!” Somi announced as she strutted inside, giving fistbumps, high-fives, and a few friendly hugs to all the boys in the room.

Yeji blinked and turned to face Ryujin, who shrugged her shoulders. They waited quietly for Somi to finish greeting everyone.

“Let me introduce the newest female trainee! Hwang Yeji, the cat from Jeonju! Isn’t she pretty?” Somi reached for her hand and pulled her to the center.

Somi might as well have been announcing that Yeji was the newest iPhone, advertising about her in a booming voice loud enough to catch everyone’s attention. Yeji blushed and bowed her head politely as everyone zeroed in on her. She attempted to make eye-contact, but ended up averting her eyes to the floor like she always did.

“Hwang?”

She furtively glanced up and froze to see one of the boys staring at her with a strange expression on his face.

“… Hwang?” He repeated, his frown deepening.

“Yeah.” Somi grinned as at the same time, Ryujin stepped forward.

“Why?” Ryujin stood next to Yeji protectively, frowning back at the boy who kept gawking at Yeji.

“Where’s Hwang Hyunjin…” A different boy wearing a beanie muttered, looking around.

“Hwang Hyunjin! Get over here!” One of the older trainees hollered as everyone stood up and began scanning the room.

“He’s in the other room. Hyunjin come here!”

“Hyunjin, you never told us you had a sister!”

**Another Hwang? A sister? Hyunjin?**

Yeji’s curiosity was the highest it had ever been in her life. Who was this Hwang Hyunjin and how was he related to her? From the corner of her eye, she could see another boy entering into the room.

“I don’t, Hyung. What are you talking abou-“ An unfamiliar voice spoke and stopped.

Yeji slowly turned around so that she was facing the newcomer. A boy that she had never seen before was now standing in front of her with cat-like eyes, a sharp jawline, and a slender frame.

**_It only took one look, one second of eye-contact, one glance._ **

She froze, becoming paralyzed for a few seconds as she stared in shock at the face that looked so similar to her own. His eyes mirrored hers, wide with disbelief, as they gaped at each other. At that time, they were also the same height so when they stood side-by-side, the resemblance was uncanny. It was terrifying.

“… You sure you’re not related?” Even Ryujin was stunned, her eyes flickering back-and-forth between the two.

Yeji called her mom that night, asking if there was any Hwang Hyunjin in the family.

“No.” Her mom laughed good-naturedly. “Why? Is he handsome? I don’t mind if you marry someone with the same last name as us, you know.”

“Mom,” Yeji said in horror. “He looks just like me!”

She sent her mother a picture that one of the trainees had forcefully made them take.

“Who is this?!” Her mother’s squeal over the phone was so loud that Yeji winced. “He’s so handsome! Yeji, I say go for him!”

“He looks just like me!” She inwardly gagged. “Eww! No!”

“You look so cute together though! Aww, he looks just like a cat! Just like my Yeji! Two kittens! Adorable!”

She groaned as her mother continued to fawn over her new ‘twin’. Yep, they were assigned the label ‘Hwang Twins’ from day 1 by all the trainees.

After that incident, Yeji stopped looking down, keeping her eyes on the lookout for the boy that looked so similar to her. It seemed as if she wasn’t the only one who was curious because Hyunjin would do the same, his eyes scanning around as he walked, only to lock onto Yeji’s when he passed by.

 **_One look, one second of eye-contact, one glance_ ** _._

The other trainees found their similar features fascinating so she’d see him at least every other day, with either a few male trainees coming to crash in the girls’ practice room during break time or Somi dragging her and Ryujin to the boy’s room. The girls gushed it was destiny; the boys thought it was hilarious. But for Yeji and Hyunjin, they were simply curious. They didn’t talk much because Yeji was shy and Hyunjin was reserved, but they stared at each other… A lot.

 ** _One look, one second of eye-contact, one glance_** – they exchanged many.

**Curious.**

**Curious looks with even more curious glances to follow.**

**Curious.**

**Curiosity…**

**That novelty factor wore off quickly.**

It happened during Yeji’s first evaluation.

“Hwang, you’re up next.” Their dance instructor called in a bored tone, not bothering to look up from his clipboard.

Taking in a deep breath, Yeji stood up shakily, only to freeze when she saw Hyunjin doing the same across the way.

“… What is this?” He looked up from his clipboard and raised an eyebrow, glancing between the two. “There are two Hwangs?”

“Yeji is new, Teacher Kim.” Somi piped up helpfully. “She’s Hwang Yeji.”

“Interesting… Both of you come up.”

As they stood together, Yeji did her best to keep her head up although her cheeks colored as she heard the snickers and giggles of the other trainees behind her.

“Hwang verses Hwang.”

She heard an obnoxious whisper.

“I’m going to play a song and you’re going to dance.” Teacher Kim reached for his phone.

“You want to go first?” Hyunjin asked her in a low voice.

“TOGETHER Hwang.” Teacher Kim looked up from his phone with an expression so callous that it silenced the remaining whispers in the room and caused both of them to gulp. “… You will dance together first. And then you’ll go one at a time… Ready? Go.”

Yeji didn’t do as well as she would have liked, but to her defense, she hadn’t been expecting to be pitted against anyone else for her first evaluation. Additionally, she knew everyone’s complete attention was upon her and Hyunjin, which only added to the pressure she was already feeling.

Initially, Hyunjin and Yeji were freestyling on their own, but after Teacher Kim roared, “TOGETHER,” they immediately defaulted to the basic elementary steps from dance class so that they were in synch. After what seemed like an eternity of embarrassment from doing a couple dance with Hyunjin, Teacher Kim gave them the all-clear sign to begin their individual performances.

Hyunjin volunteered to go first.

“She’s new. I’ll go.” Hyunjin nodded, a flush on his cheeks as he did his best to ignore the hoots of how he was a gentleman and whatnot that chorused throughout the room.

After he finished, Yeji went second. It was implied by Teacher Kim’s death stare that he was going to grade them at the same time when both performances were finished. However, nobody could have imagined the manner in which he would do it.

“Ok… We’ll talk about the good first. That was pretty good. You exceeded my expectations.”

He didn’t specify who he was talking about and he didn’t make eye-contact with either of them. But judging by the way Hyunjin beamed, naturally Yeji assumed the praise was for him. After all, Hyunjin went first. It would have made sense for him to receive his evaluation first.

“You need to work on your balance. Learn when to exert your strength and when to pull back.” Teacher Kim nodded.

Suddenly, he looked up and Yeji felt a chill running down her spine, fear starting to course through her. Then he let out a sigh, a HUMANGOUS sigh of disappointment.

“Why is your performance on the same level as someone who just started dancing yesterday?” Teacher Kim’s voice was so cold, it pierced through her.

“… I-“

“I’m not going to sugarcoat my words.” He cut her off, throwing the clipboard with their evaluations onto the floor. “You were terrible. Straight up terrible. You sucked. Like I would throw you out of JYP right now if it were up to me.” He all but screamed in that cruel voice.

Tears began to form in Yeji’s eyes as she looked down. She couldn’t cry, not right now. She’d only get into more trouble.

“The hell are you looking like that for?!” This time, he did yell and from the corner of her eye, she could see Hyunjin had also dropped his head to gaze at the floor.

“This is JYP. We expect nothing but the best! If you can’t give me that, you should just quit now!”

She flinched, but so did Hyunjin, causing them to unconsciously shuffle closer together. She could feel his arm lightly pressed up against hers as they remained side-by-side. The air in the room became so thick that she felt as if she could suffocate from the tension. She trembled and almost in response, he leaned into her so subtly that no one except Yeji would know.

“… Sit down.” Teacher Kim let out two more sighs of disappointment and dismissed them with a wave of his hand.

She immediately detached herself from Hyunjin and rushed to her spot on the floor, pulling her knees into her chest as she buried her face in her lap. She squeezed her eyes and lips shut, refusing to let any sound or tear escape her. She could feel warm rubs on her back as well as soft whispers of encouragement, but she blocked them all out. She knew if she allowed herself any sympathy, she would cry. It was better to be numb. It was only when Teacher Kim had left while promising to post the results by the end of the day that she bolted out of the room and into the bathroom to let out the waterworks.

Ryujin was hot on her tail and immediately engulfed her into a hug.

“It’s your first evaluation, Unni” Ryujin whispered, wiping her tears away. “Don’t feel too bad. He says things like that all the time. Don’t let it get to you. You can always do better next time. Also… I thought you were amazing.”

“Y-you don’t need to l-lie, Ryujin,” Yeji tried to smile, but more tears kept falling from her face.

“I mean it!” Ryujin insisted, holding her close. “Your performance was my favorite! I don’t know why he was so harsh… I’m sorry, Unni.”

Ryujin held her for the next 15 minutes until Yeji had put an end to her tears and calmed down.

“List is up!” Someone’s voice called out, causing a stampede of footsteps to echo down the hall.

“… We can wait, Unni. Everybody’s going to be crowded over there anyways. Want to go take a walk with me? We can go check another time?” Ryujin’s doe-eyes were full of soft concern as they searched Yeji’s face.

“… It’s ok.” Yeji took in a deep inhale. “Let’s go.”

She knew Ryujin meant well, but the younger girl had misunderstood her completely. She thought Yeji cried because of Teacher Kim’s harsh words, because of the humiliation she felt. However, that wasn’t the reason why Yeji cried. His open ridicule of her certainly added to the pain she felt, but that wasn’t the main reason Yeji cried.

The reality was Yeji cried because of shame, her own shame. The thing about Yeji that Ryujin and everyone else had yet to find out was that she was a perfectionist, her own biggest critic. She was harder on herself than anyone else and could act as her own greatest enemy, single-handedly tearing herself down. Yeji had already been ashamed of her own performance, beating herself up for not doing the best she could and Teacher Kim had merely added salt to the wound. Even if he had praised her, she still would have cried because she saw through herself, knew her own limits.

But with that being said, Yeji could also be her biggest support, building herself back up through her own practice and determination. She would be down, but would grit her teeth and give everything she had to crawl back up to the top. It was because of this that she wanted to see her results right away, along with everyone else. She would rather be faced with the harsh truth than have the suspension of her evaluation eat away at her for the rest of the day.

Taking in one last breath, she slowly nodded at Ryujin and allowed the latter to lead her down the hall to the wall where their evaluations were posted. As they waited for their turn in the back of the cluster, Ryujin took her hand, shifting uncomfortably from left-to-right. It seemed as if the younger girl was nervous about her result too, so Yeji squeezed her hand comfortingly. Finally, the people in the front began to disperse, allowing them to stand directly in front of the list. There was only one Hwang on the girl’s list so it had taken Yeji less than five seconds to find her name, but Ryujin took even less time, finding it in three seconds.

“Unni, you’re number 4!” Ryujin squealed, squeezing her excitedly. “Congratulations!”

Yeji couldn’t do anything but stare at the list in disbelief as she remained fixated on her name.

**#4 Hwang Yeji.**

Her first evaluation and she was within the Top 5? Did that make sense? She was ranked even higher than Ryujin who was number 6. And didn’t Teacher Kim say she was terrible? That she should have been kicked out of JYP?

The boys’ loud clamor cut through her thoughts, but there was one particularly loud voice that bolstered over the rest.

“Hwang Hyunjin, didn’t Teacher Kim say you improved? He trolled you hard! You dropped!”

That caught her attention. Her eyes flickered to the other list where the names of the boys fell in order. There were many names, but she only needed to scan for one. Like the girls’ list, there was only one Hwang on that list.

**#12 Hwang Hyunjin**

Her eyes widened in shock. So the praise that Hyunjin had accepted hadn’t been for him at all? It had been for her? She turned her head and immediately found herself locking eyes with Hyunjin, who had already been looking her way.

 **_One look_ ** _._

She would never forget the look in his glassy eyes, resentment that appeared only seconds away from shattering the boy in front of her. She found herself frozen for the third time that day as those brown eyes that looked exactly like hers, gazed at her in a way she had never used her own eyes before.

 ** _Bitter._** He was bitter, staring at her with an animosity that caused her throat to burn.

After the first evaluation, everything changed. They didn’t go from curious to downright hating each other, but it was safe to say that their innocent curiosity died after that day. In its place, strong feelings of rivalry and resentment brewed and eventually surfaced. The boys stopped coming to the girls’ practice room and Hyunjin didn’t meet her eyes when they passed each other. As much as Yeji wanted to blame Hyunjin for the increased hostility between them, she knew she was equally to blame. It was during the second evaluation that she experienced her own taste of jealousy. Teacher Kim had called them up together again and this time, Hyunjin was the recipient of his praise while Yeji was blasted for her lack of effort. That day, Hyunjin met her eyes again for the first time in a month.

**_One second of eye-contact._ **

It took her every ounce of control to keep her face neutral although her hands balled into fists at the eyes that shone with arrogance. The last thing she remembered was his smug smirk before he turned away and preened under the praises of the other male trainees.

They had evened out – 1 win each.

Hyunjin began meeting her eyes again. Every time they passed by each other, he would purposely keep his eyes on her with such an intensity that she looked away the first few times. It soon dawned upon her that he was doing it intentionally, trying to intimidate her so she stopped looking away. She steeled herself to stare back, her own eyes glowing with defiance as she stared him down.

 **_It only took one look, one second of eye-contact, one glance_ ** _._

_But inevitably, **one look** became **one too many**. **One second of eye-contact** became **one second too long**. And **one glance** became **one too prolonged**. _

Stares soon became accompanied by quiet mutters, which quickly morphed into petty remarks. Originally, it was separate, two childish teenagers badmouthing each other to their friends. The trouble began when it became confrontational.

They began to bicker – they disagreed on everything. **EVERYTHING**. From choreography to English lessons to group games, there was nothing they could ever agree on. They were always at odds with each other, always fighting, but it was a different type of fighting. They never touched each other, never got physical. They weren’t like Somi and Daehwi, who sometimes became physical with their squabbles while remaining the best of friends. They were more quiet, but also more petty. They used their words, eventually being comfortable enough to increase their volumes against each other.

To be honest, a major part of their fighting was simply due to puberty. It was just dumb competitions that occurred between adolescent boys and girls who didn’t know how to handle their emotions, being obnoxious to one another and always trying to one-up each other. However, everyone knew that the biggest reason behind their tension was due to their likeness. And even though they vehemently denied it, they, themselves, knew it too.

Hwang Yeji and Hwang Hyunjin were just TOO similar, and in all of the worst ways possible. Too stubborn, too competitive, too emotional – they were double their bad points when put together. And it wasn’t only in practice, it was in **everything**.

Yeji was reaching for the last mint chocolate ice cream cup when another hand shot out and frisked the item from beneath her.

She turned and her eyes narrowed to see Hyunjin staring at her challengingly.

 **_It only took one look, one second of eye-contact, one glance_ ** _._

“… I touched it first.” She was always calm at first, doing her best to keep her voice even.

“No. I grabbed it before you could touch it.” He corrected.

“You practically ripped it out of my hands.” Her eye twitched.

“You snooze, you lose.” He shrugged his shoulders.

“I wasn’t snoozing! You were stealing!” She bristled.

“Give it to her, Hyunjin.” Jisung frowned. “Don’t be a jerk.”

“I got it first.” He fought back. “And I am NOT a jerk! Mind your own business Han Jisung!”

“Why you-“

“Enough!” Chan stepped between them sternly. “Give it to me Hyunjin.”

“You don’t even like mint chocolate, Hyung!” Hyunjin started to complain, only to snap his jaw shut and hand over the frozen treat at Chan’s death glare.

That was just one of many times Chan Oppa had to step in, and always over other trivial things. Always over things caused by **_one look, one second of eye-contact, one glance_** _._

Their competitive streaks came out the worst during evaluation periods, thanks to Teacher Kim’s insistence on calling them by their last name.

“Hwang, you did excellent in dancing today. You’ve improved!”

Yeji found herself sitting up straighter with a smile.

“Thank you, Teacher-“

She froze and turned her head to see Hyunjin all puffed up, looking at her with annoyance.

“Thank you Teacher,” He said louder, keeping his eyes on Yeji. “I know I-“

“Hwang Yeji.”

Yeji looked down to hide her smirk although she couldn’t help but steal a glance at Hyunjin, who was now blushing and looking away. After all, **_it only took one look, one second of eye-contact, one glance_** _._

“Hwang, you need to get your act together! You’ve dropped for this evaluation!”

“Yes-“

“Hwang Yeji! Stop messing around and focus!”

Had it not been for that fact that she was so infuriated by the smug grin on Hyunjin’s face, she probably would have broke down in tears as she was criticized in front of the entire group of trainees.

 **_It only took one look, one second of eye-contact, one glance_ ** _._

At that moment, she wanted nothing more than to slap that stupid smirk off Hyunjin’s face.

She was pretty sure Teacher Kim did it purposely to mess with them. After all, everyone found it the Hwang competition amusing. Somewhere along the line, all the trainees began referring to both of them as “Hwang”. The boys especially found their reactions amusing, being sure to obnoxiously call out their shared last name at least twice a day whenever they were within vicinity of each other. In fact, everyone had become so accustomed to calling them “Hwang” or “Hwang Yeji/Hyunjin” that it was assumed that they were relatives. As far as their knowledge went, all the staff, managers, and teachers believed that Hwang Hyunjin and Hwang Yeji were somewhat related.

This assumption of being ‘blood relatives’ lead to opportunities and paths that neither of them could have ever imagined – a path of pranking. It started off harmless. The older trainees put them up to ordering food and sneaking it in past the security cameras and prying eyes of teachers. Yeji could still remember the first prank they had ever pulled off, where they were still bickering until the last second.

“Why can’t I grab the chicken and you distract him?” She crossed her arms, glaring at Hyunjin.

“Use your pretty face to keep him busy! Do aegyo or something.” He ignored her as he peeked over the wall, keeping his eyes on the staff member who was pacing down the hall.

“Hyunjin, you realized that sounds wrong on so many levels.”

“I know! But what choice do we have?” He turned to face her impatiently, nodding at her to go.

“Why don’t you use your pretty face?” She hissed. “We have the same face!”

“You’re prettier! Just do it! Now!” He practically shoved her out of their hiding spot.

She stumbled forward and when she regained her balance, found herself standing in front of the staff member alone.

“Hwang Yeji?” The staff member raised an eyebrow as she swallowed uncomfortably before mustering a smile.

“O-Oppa…”

Somehow, Yeji had managed to pull herself out of her inner introvert and distract the staff member for 10 minutes as Hyunjin paid for the food and snuck it in through the back. That was only the beginning. The pair soon found themselves in the service of all the trainees every time there was a scheme or plan, successful or not. Despite their bickers and competitive streaks, it became apparent to all that no one else’s teamwork could rival the Hwangs. If JYP-3rd-generation had JJ Project, then JYP 4th-generation had the “Hwang Twins”. Yeji found herself stuck with Hyunjin more than ever as they became the main minions of pranks.

The funny thing was, their pranking partnership did nothing to improve their relationship. They still squabbled over everything, still got on each other’s nerves during evaluations, were still petty to one another. It still only took **_one look, one second of eye-contact, one glance_** _._ However, they became close – closer than anyone else. And despite all of her misgivings and gripes about Hyunjin, Yeji soon found him to be the closest thing to comfortable that she felt. It became easy to talk to him and banter with him.

Due to her quiet nature, she was often overlooked. Even during small group talks, everyone assumed she was doing fine and holding up well on her own so they would dismiss her or ignore asking her altogether. But Hyunjin was different. He was mean, but he was attentive. He was snarky, but he listened. He was petty, but he was genuine in his reactions. After all, **_it only took one look, one second of eye-contact, one glance_** for him to know what she was thinking _._ Without meaning to, Yeji found herself spilling out her frustrations and struggles to him during the most random of times.

He was one of the first persons to find out about her childhood condition, surgery, and the hardships that followed after. His response to her story shocked her. She had expected pity from him, but to her surprise, he was his usual obnoxious self.

“But you’re all better now, right?” He grunted as he shoved a handful of Choco boys into his mouth. “So you have zero excuses not to debut?”

For once, his petty comments were a comfort to her rather than annoyance. He didn’t treat her like glass. He respected her enough to view her as competition. That made her oddly satisfied.

If she was being completely honest, he wasn’t all bad. There were times he surprised her with his random thoughtfulness.

Yeji could still feel the heat on her cheeks, but thankfully the cashier made no comment about it as she paid for the drinks.

It had been less than five minutes since Yeonjun had left and she was left to wallow in her thoughts. The memory of how she had introduced herself kept replaying in her mind.

_“… Yeji.” She felt her throat go dry as he came back to face her, but she mustered up all her courage. “Hwang Yeji.”_

_He blinked. Then he smiled, his eyes curving into crescent moons – the smile that she liked._

_“Choi Yeonjun.”_

She blushed even harder. She couldn’t believe she had been brave enough to do that – to introduce herself to _the_ popular boy, the number one trainee. She must have been out of her mind. She was so immersed in what just happened that she was completely unaware of how someone had slipped right next to her.

“You done paying?”

She let out a yelp at the sudden intrusion, slightly jumping up and swinging her arms as she turned her head. Her eyes widened in surprise at the person who had appeared by her side.

“You tryna break my nose?” Hyunjin hissed, two hands over his face in a protective stance.

She blinked, confused at why he was at the convenience store. She felt even more bewildered when his cheeks became a soft pink as she stared at him blankly.

“Hyungs sent me to help you.” He grumbled, coming closer to her.

“Oh…” She blinked in confusion. Although she drew a blank on who the possible considerate Oppas could be, she shrugged it off and chose to focus on the person who had come to help her instead. “Thank you.”

“Don’t make it weird.” He mumbled, his eyes looking at everywhere except her. “Come on.”

He took all the bags, leaving only the lightest one for her to take.

“I can take more-“ She protested, reaching to take another bag from him but he held them away from her.

“It’s fine.” He kept his eyes away from her, avoiding the **_one look, one second of eye-contact, one glance_** _._ “…It’s not heavy.”

He’d also start bringing an extra package of Choco Boys to share with her during breaks, hotly demanding that she convert from Homerun Balls to Choco Boys as he tossed her the package. Or he’d feign disinterest in the last mint chocolate ice cream so that she could take it, little things here and there. To be honest, he was the other person apart from Yeonjun that Yeji didn’t have a label for regarding their relationship. As immature teenagers, they were too petty to call each other friends, yet were too close to be considered mere acquaintances. When Yeji thought of Hyunjin, the only word that came into mind was comfortable. He was comfortable.

 **_Because he only took one look, one second of eye-contact, one glance_ ** _._

~~~~~

Yeji hugged her knees to her chest, burying her face in her lap. She felt stupid and helpless at the same time.

Hyunjin was right. She should have come clean before Ryujin a long time ago. Now, it was already past-Midnight. Byeongkwan was waiting at the park for someone who wouldn’t show up and it was all her fault. She thought she could save Ryujin’s love story only to screw it up worse than her own.

“Hwang Yeji!” An all-too familiar voice caused her to lift her head and before she could blink a third time, Hyunjin was in front of her.

He was panting, sweat on his brow as he heaved to catch his breath. Her teary eyes met his hardened ones.

 **_It only took one look, one second of eye-contact, one glance_ ** _._

The next thing she knew, his outstretched hand was in front of her face.

“… Let’s go.”

She didn’t hesitate to grab the hand in front of her, her complete trust in the boy who led her out of the train station. They would have made the headlines of every newspaper had there been any paparazzi around, two idols without masks running hand-in-hand together, but at the moment, Yeji didn’t care. She just gripped the familiar hand tightly, comfort washing over her like a gentle wave as his thumb ran circles over her knuckles.

“Where are we going?” She asked softly once they were seated in the back of a taxi.

“Ryujin’s house.” He turned to face her. “You gotta tell her.”

“It’s all my fault.” Her voice cracked, her free hand coming up to quickly brush her tears away. “I should have listened to you.”

He didn’t say anything, just kept her hand in his as he tightened his grip.

“… Better late than never, Yeji.” His voice was gentle and it made her want to cry again.

He should have been angry, but he wasn’t. He should have told her off for her stubbornness, but he didn’t. He was kind and gentle, causing her insides to warm despite the freezing weather.

“I’ll be right here.” He spoke in such a soothing voice, gazed at her with such softness, it calmed her. “I’ll be right here… But you have to tell her, Yeji… It was your idea.”

That caused her to smile.

**_“It was Yeji’s idea! It was your idea!”_ **

That was Hyunjin’s favorite alibi whenever they got caught for a poorly planned scheme. As they were reprimanded and disciplined by staff members, Hyunjin would nervously blurt out whatever lies he made up in his mind on the go. During those times, Yeji would stare at him in disbelief but wouldn’t say anything to add or subtract to his story. She would just keep her mouth shut and take whatever punishment given. She’d also end up finding a Choco Boys package in her locker the following day and by eating it, would accept his wordless apology.

Before she knew it, they were in front of Ryujin’s apartment complex and Yeji was overwhelmed once again. She felt so small, gazing up at the towering building that seemed to mirror the monumental task that she had yet to do. She was terrified, afraid of what her confession would produce. Would Ryujin hate her? How would this impact their relationship in the future? Would they ever be the same after this? A hundred questions crowded into her mind, causing her heartbeat and fear to escalate.

But suddenly, she felt warm hands latch onto her arms. The grip on her arms tightened, not enough to hurt, but just enough to ground her. As the hands squeezed her, she found her abstract fears and worries falling off as she lifted her eyes to meet Hyunjin’s. His dark eyes were still warm as they gazed down at her.

 **_One look, one second of eye-contact, one glance_ ** _._

“I’ll be right here.” He gave her a small, but reassuring smile. “But you have to tell her face-to-face.”

He squeezed her shoulders one last time and let go, backing away from her when she spoke.

“…I was selfish.” The quiet confession spilled from her lips as she kept her eyes on him. “I wanted to give to her what I couldn’t have.”

She watched as he froze, his smile fading into a serious expression as he gazed down at her. For a moment, he was silent and she found herself looking at the ice-covered pavement as she sucked in a soft breath, waiting.

“… Then you weren’t being selfish.” He frowned. “You were being a good friend.”

She looked up at him with teary eyes. When did she even start crying again? She blinked confusedly as he chuckled.

“It was for Ryujin, right?” He produced tissues from his pockets and handed them to her. “You did it because you cared about Ryujin. And you’re finishing it because you care.”

**That’s right... Ryujin.**

And then, Yeji remembered.

_“… Unni?” Ryujin approached her cautiously. “Unni?”_

_Yeji didn’t acknowledge her presence. She didn’t say a single word. She merely kept her head down, her arms wrapped around her legs as she remained in a ball, trying to stifle her cries._

_“… I’m sorry Unni.”_

_She felt warm arms wrap around her tightly, could feel Ryujin’s gentle breathing against her ear as she rubbed Yeji’s back._

_“Leave Ryujin…” Yeji whispered a plea. “Please… Unni just needs some time.”_

_“He doesn’t deserve you, Unni… You’re worth more.”_

_“Ryujin-”_

_“I’m not leaving you, Unni. I’m not him.”_

_That made Yeji look up. She detached herself from her lap and slowly lifted her head up, only to see Ryujin’s doe-eyes full of regret. And automatically, Yeji knew… Ryujin saw it. She witnessed Yeji’s pathetic confession and its aftermath. She saw her getting rejected and she saw how Yeonjun ran away._

**_Oh my gosh, Ryujin was there!_ **

_Yeji felt like she could die out of embarrassment. But Ryujin didn’t look away or seem bothered by her embarrassment. If anything, she looked even more determined, a stubborn expression forming on her face. Yeji mistook it as pity and tried pushing her away._

_“Why are you here anyways?” Yeji felt tears stinging her eyes again as she pulled away from Ryujin’s embrace. “You have nothing to do with this! It’s my own problem.”_

_“… Because he’s your first love!” Ryujin frowned, hugging her again. “So he’s special to you and to me… Because you’re my Unni.”_

**_Ryujin._ **

Ryujin was there. Ryujin, who didn’t let go of Yeji for the rest of the day, holding her tight until all her tears had run out. Ryujin, who was there to pick up all the shattered pieces of her heart, holding them up delicately and tenderly as she helped Yeji put herself back together. Ryujin, who became Yeji’s first place of comfort. And because of it, Yeji couldn’t love anyone more.

Yeji may have been deeply invested into Ryujin’s love story because of her subconscious desire for success, but her original motive was pure. Her original motive was the girl who had been with her from the first day she stepped foot into Seoul; the one who found and picked up the pieces of her broken heart when they were still too young to know what love was; the constant in her life who kept her from going off the deep end; the friend whose smile she wanted to preserve with all her might. Her initial motive was _Ryujin_. Hyunjin was right. She only had to focus on Ryujin and she would be fine.

Ryujin was incensed when she found out, and rightfully so. Seeing the younger girl who always smiled appear so angry almost caused Yeji to lose her courage altogether, but she grounded herself in Hyunjin’s words.

_‘Just focus on Ryujin.’_

So with a shaky voice, she managed to get everything off chest and share everything that was in her heart. By the end of her confession, they were both crying and Ryujin had taken off to go and find her first love as Yeji watched with proud eyes. 

Hyunjin stepped out of his hiding spot once Ryujin had left and was in front of Yeji before she could blink twice. She looked up at him and smiled sheepishly.

“… Well done.” There could be no greater reward than the warm smile of approval on his face.

She opened her mouth to speak, but no words would come out as she choked on another sob. Immediately, he had placed a hand on her shoulder and pulled her into him. She closed her eyes and took a whiff of him in as she rested her head against his chest.

“Good job…” He said in a low voice as he patted her back. “Good job… Crybaby.”

They stayed like that until all her tears had run out.

“I’m sorry, Hyunjin.”

He had a puzzled look on his face as she gazed at him in remorse.

“… I said some terrible things to you that you didn’t deserve.”

They were currently walking to Yeji’s platform so she could catch the next train to Jeonju. After she had finished crying, neither of them had said a word, comfortable silence settling between them as they headed back to the train station. However, Yeji was done with staying quiet with lingering regrets so she spoke up. She wanted to right her wrongs not only with Ryujin, but also with Hyunjin.

“You didn’t say terrible things. You just yelled at me.” He corrected. “For no good reason.”

“I know!” Her cheeks flushed as he smirked. “And I’m sorry for that… I’m sorry for yelling at you.”

He hummed.

“… I’m sorry too.”

Yeji did a double take and her jaw dropped.

**_Hyunjin? Apologizing? What in the world was this?_ **

“Don’t look at me like that!” He said hotly, turning away from her. “I admit I wasn’t very nice either… I’m sorry for making you stressed.”

“Who would have known there’d be a day that I’d receive an apology from Hwang Hyunjin?” She marveled aloud.

To her surprise, he didn’t scrunch up his nose, narrow his eyes, and take a step back as if he was offended. He simply shrugged his shoulders good-naturedly.

“I’ve matured over the years, you know… Also, I told you before… Trust Oppa.”

That startled her into a hearty laugh, the first time she laughed in weeks.

“Thank you… Oppa.” She teased, giggling as he chuckled.

As he walked her back, he carried her bag the whole way there.

“Seriously, I owe you… a lot. Thank you, Hyunjin.” She smiled at him. “You must be tired.”

“Me?” He snorted. “Worry about yourself.”

She glanced down at her phone and looked back at him confusedly. It was only a little past three in the morning, nothing unusual from their normal day-to-day schedules. But Hyunjin seemed concerned.

“Will you be ok going this late?” He frowned. “You’re gonna get home at like 5 in the morning.”

“At least I get to relax for the weekend.” She let out a yawn. “It feels nice to finally be done.”

“With Ryujin?” He teased as she gave him a light shove.

“With everything!” She playfully rolled her eyes. “Another successful Hwang scheme!”

She offered him her hand and he gave her a half-hearted high-five with an amused smile on his face.

“… Cute.” He snorted, causing her to laugh again.

“Let me know if you want anything! I’ll bring you back a souvenir.”

“From Jeonju?” He asked flatly.

“Hey! Jeonju is one of the greatest treasures of Korea!” She pouted, slightly offended by his lack of enthusiasm. “It’s the birthplace of bibimbap!”

“I can get bibimbap at any restaurant here.”

“It’s not the same!” She insisted, shaking her head. “You’d understand once you try Jeonju’s bibimbap.”

“Guess you’ll have to take me to try it one day.”

“Wanna come with me?” She teased, looking up at him with sparkling eyes. “I’ll tell Mom you’re our long lost relative.”

“Who’d believe that?” He scoffed.

“We look alike!” She laughed. “Even after all these years… we still look alike.”

“Yeji-“

“I’ll deny it if you ever bring it up.” She coughed, looking away. “… I’ll never admit to it out loud… but between the two of us,” She paused, turning back to look at him with an uncharacteristically shy smile. “I’m thankful we look alike.”

She stopped, reaching out her hand to take his.

“It’s because we look alike that we got so close.” She loosely threaded her fingers in his, running her thumb over his hand.

When did his hand become so big? Less than five years ago, their hands had been the same size, a perfect fit as they ran down the halls together to avoid getting caught for one of their pranks that was a close-call. His hand now completely engulfed hers.

“…It’s because of our last name that we got so close.” He squeezed her hand and then let it go, picking up his feet to walk faster.

“That too,” She agreed, trying to keep up with his pace.

She glanced up at him, but Hyunjin kept his face forward, his eyes slightly hardening as if he were thinking about something. It was only when they finally reached the platform that he stopped, turning around to face her with a solemn look in his eyes. She blinked in confusion, but stared back up at him wordlessly.

 **_One look, one second of eye-contact, one glance_ ** _._

Suddenly, it was as if they were high school kids again, where they relied on their eyes to convey the things they couldn’t put into words out loud.

“…Are you cold?” She blinked, noticing the slight tremble in his eyes.

She immediately ripped off her scarf and wrapped it around his neck without a second thought.

“I’m fine…” His voice trailed off, already too late as she had secured the cloth around him.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” She mildly fussed. “You’ll get sick!”

“I’m fine.”

“You have a comeback coming up.” She frowned, squinting her eyes at him. “Take care of yourself, Hyunjin!”

“…Can’t you do it for me?” The strange tone in his voice caused her to freeze.

Their eyes locked onto each other’s and an unexpected chill ran down her spine at his brown eyes that suddenly appeared very heavy.

 ** _One look…_** that she had never seen before.

She had never seen his eyes like this. It was as if his eyes had become iron chains, shackling her down with a weight that she couldn’t describe. An emotion deeper than sadness and as intense as anger convoluted in those brown pools and she found herself sinking into them. The air had thickened around them in a matter of seconds, strangling her with unexplainable and uncomfortable tension.

“Me… take care of you?” She could barely speak, her voice trailing off as she looked up at him in a daze, confused and slightly… scared.

She was scared as a strange feeling started to churn in her stomach. **What was going on?**

“You take my place for my comeback,” He snorted, turning away from her as he shook his head. “…Stupid.”

“Oh…” And suddenly, she could breathe normally again.

The thickness in the air immediately dissipated and it was as if nothing had happened.

“Hey! Hyunjin!” She was indignant, discomfort morphing into usual annoyance. “I’m not stupid!”

“Never said you were.” His nonchalant voice caused her to let out a gasp of disbelief.

“You just did!” She huffed at him. “And how would that even work?! I have my own schedules and I’m a lot shorter than you!”

“Should I be concerned at how our difference in gender isn’t even your first consideration?” He raised an eyebrow, causing her to shrug.

“Nothing a little makeup contouring and a wig can’t fix.” She dismissed, although her cheeks burned.

“You owe me.” He turned away coolly, stretching with a yawn. “…Maybe I’ll just collect that as my payment.”

“Me taking your place for your comeback?” She scoffed. “Really Hyunjin? You’re out of your mind.”

“Need to collect something from you.”

“Something _reasonable_ , please Hyunjin!” She let out a sigh, shaking her head. “It has to be something doable for me.”

“Doable?”

“And reasonable.” She reached out to take her backpack from him now that they were at her stop. “Do you want me to buy you something? I’m willing to spend up to 2,000,000 won worth.”

“2,000,000 won?”

“That’s like the price of a new laptop right? I’ll buy you one if you want.” She gave him a tired smile.

“You don’t need to spend that much.” He shook his head.

“You deserve it. You’ve helped me so much.” She protested.

He really did. He deserved everything. After all, Hyunjin had been by her side as her partner and confidant. He certainly deserved half the credit for Ryujin’s successful love story (although she hadn’t received a message from Ryujin letting her know whether it was successful or not, yet).

“I don’t need a new laptop.” He grumbled, letting out another yawn.

“Well, what do you need? Or what do you want?” She also yawned, copying the way he stretched out his limbs.

She was still stretching when he spoke up.

“I-I thought of my payment...”

She turned to face him, but he wasn’t looking at her. His eyes were glued to the floor and he was slightly hunched over, as if he were looking away from her intentionally.

“What do you want?” She tilted her head in confusion, thrown off by his strange behavior and lack of eye-contact.

He was quiet, shuffling his feet against the stone pavement. The artificial voice heard over the intercom served as a warning that the train was coming soon.

“What do you want? Hyunjin?” She asked again.

But he remained quiet, brooding. Even when the train arrived, he refused to look at her, didn’t say anything else.

“… Well, let me know.” She yawned sleepily, bidding him good-bye with a wave as she started to enter the train. “Text it to me when you-“

“Chocolate.”

She froze, hand on the staircase. She looked back at him, wide-eyed in surprise and was even more surprised to see him gazing at her with a serious look on his face.

“I want chocolate.” He repeated, eyes hardened with resolve. “Next week. Friday.”

“Oh...” She blinked. “Ok.”

He gave her one resolute nod and then turned to leave, walking without looking back at her.

“Bye-bye!” She called out to him, shaking her head with a sigh as he waved without turning back to see her.

When she finally settled in her seat, she let out a sigh of relief.

Finally. Everything was over.

She received a text notification and when she opened it, smiled at the picture that Ryujin sent her – a candid picture of Byeongkwan right when he was about to sneeze, with the caption:

**You still owe me an explanation 3:15 am**

**I love you Unni! 3:15 am**

**See you when you come back! </3 3:15 am**

Yeji smiled and leaned her head back, closing her eyes.

She did it. She helped Ryujin’s happy ending. Her work was complete. Finally.

She fell asleep almost instantly due to the emotional and physical toll on her from today’s events, but not before musing over the last thing said to her.

**_Chocolates._ **

**Hyunjin wants chocolates.**


	8. Chocolates = Constant

Yeji enjoyed her well-deserved rest over the weekend with her family. Not having to stress over romance, boys, or playing cupid was wonderful. She was even able to get a full-night’s sleep for two whole nights, a first since forever it seemed. She cherished each second spent with her family, yet as always, the days seemed to pass by too quickly. Time took off on its own and before she could blink twice, she was on the train headed back to Seoul.

For the first time, she left her hometown with dry eyes. While her mother cried as they parted ways (as she always did whenever Yeji had to leave), Yeji found herself strangely calm as she bid her family good-bye. Maybe it was due to the fact that she had a few messages on Kakaotalk, alerting her that there were people waiting for her return. But maybe it was also due to the part of her that had matured over time, she realized. As she gazed out the window to admire the passing scenery covered with a blanket of snow, a smile warmed on her face as she pondered about everything that occurred within the past year.

Besides Ryujin’s love story, there were other major things that Yeji had yet to reflect upon. One of them was, of course, Itzy – their debut and growth. Itzy’s success had skyrocketed to proportions that neither she nor the other girls could have ever imagined. They had paved their own way and indented a mark into the music scene and she couldn’t have been any prouder. With one year under their belt, she couldn’t wait to see what new ventures they’d experience in 2020.

The other thing that Yeji reflected upon was herself – Hwang Yeji. Only a year had passed since her debut, but she could still remember it so clearly. She could remember the monumental pressure placed on her shoulders as she struggled with debut preparations and high school graduation. She could remember insecurity about her position as the leader, doubts and negativity that silently crept in to strangle her at the most random of times. She could remember fear that kept her awake many nights, fear of disappointing others and fear of failing herself. But somewhere along the line, pressure churned into determination, insecurity transformed into assurance, and fear simmered into courage. While she had many people around her who supported her to build self-confidence, Yeji was proud to know that she also contributed to her own growth and development. She felt closure regarding the past year and was finally at peace, ready to start the new year at last.

Yeji was ambushed as soon as she stepped foot into her dorm, clamoring voices and reaching arms that smothered her with overbearing affection. Ryujin’s affection was especially prominent, the doe-eyed girl being the first one to greet her at the door with a kiss on the cheek as well a pout on her lips as she demanded for Yeji to spill everything that had occurred. So Yeji did. As they piled together in the living room, bundled up in blankets so that they could cuddle together, she shared everything. She explained what prompted her to reach out to Byeongkwan. She also described how she went back-and-forth with Hyunjin, why she and him were always in the hall together.

“…You could have told us.” Yuna had a sour expression on her face by the time Yeji was finished. “We could have helped.”

“I really didn’t know what I was doing.” Yeji smiled apologetically as she stroked the youngest’s hair. “I just went with my instincts.”

“Your instincts told you to work with Hyunjin Oppa, but not me?” The maknae sulked, causing Lia to laugh and pull her into a hug.

“I’m impressed.” Chaeryeong nodded thoughtfully. “Hyunjin came through.”

“Hyunjin?” Lia giggled as she comforted the youngest in her arms. “You mean Yeji!”

Yeji could hardly care less at how Chaeryeong shrugged her shoulders with a teasing smile. She was too happy to care. As she drifted off to sleep sandwiched between Yuna and Ryujin, she was just thankful that it was all over. She had been stressed out for months and it was just nice to finally relax and be present with her members. Needless to say, all was well.

The following day, it was back to the grind as they got back into their routine of sleep, eat, and practice. But Yeji noticed that everyone seemed lighter, especially Ryujin. She always thought Ryujin was cute when it came to her crush, but now that they were together, it was a whole new level of adorable she was seeing in the younger. Ryujin and Byeongkwan would text throughout the day and talk every night, two hours minimum. Yeji would try to respect their privacy by either vacating their shared room or putting on earphones so she wasn’t eavesdropping, but even with Jus2 playing in the background, she could still hear snippets of their sweet conversation.

“Nothing new…” Ryujin would giggle in a soft voice. “Just practice… Stay warm… Good night Oppa.”

A part of her wanted to squeal at how bashful Ryujin was acting while the other part of her was tempted to chuck a pillow to Ryujin’s head out of jealousy. While Ryujin had grown up to be a beautiful young woman who was calm and cool, a small part of Yeji sometimes missed the cute girl who would speak to her with a bright voice full of aegyo, with eyes shining brightly to match. It had been forever since Ryujin spoke to Yeji in a sweet tone, she thought sourly. Yet here was Byeongkwan, who wouldn’t have even been in the picture if it wasn’t for Yeji, who already had Ryujin wrapped around his finger.

**Whatever.**

“Is she still on the phone?” Yuna sighed, shaking her head in disbelief. “She doesn’t even come out to eat snacks with us anymore!”

Despite the maknae’s complaints, her cheeky smile and bright glint in her eyes indicated that she was only acting up her theatrics.

“Give it a week.” Yeji chuckled as she placed a few chips into her mouth. “It’s only been four days since they’ve started dating.”

“I’d say give it a few months.” Chaeryeong snorted. “Knowing Ryujin, she’s gonna be like this for a while.”

“There’s nothing new to tell him. We do the same thing everyday! Sleep, eat, practice! What could she possibly be talking about for that long?” Yuna wriggled her eyebrows mischievously.

“Just think of it this way: we do the same thing every day, but that doesn’t stop you from rushing to Jisung Oppa whenever you can.” Chaeryeong wasn’t even looking at Yuna as she shoved a macaroon into her mouth, but everyone could hear the smirk in her voice.

Yeji stifled a laugh as Yuna let out a surprised squawk and glared at the teasing member.

“I-I don’t talk to him for hours!” She protested, a soft pink forming on her cheeks.

“You mean ‘cause you can’t.” Chaeryeong was on a role, spurning their youngest twice with her cool rebuttal. “If you could, you would.”

“N-no! Unni! I wouldn’t… I don’t! I’m not like that… Unni! She’s being mean!” Yuna all but wailed, throwing herself unto Yeji’s lap.

Yeji smiled, but gave Chaeryeong a warning glance, causing the other to grudgingly snap her jaw shut.

“The point is… Ryujin’s just really happy right now and wants to spend as much time with him as she can.” Lia reached over to pat Yuna’s head, placating the youngest with her warm smile.

Yuna perked up at the affectionate pats and sat back up with a wide smile, going back to snacking.

“But I’m kind of jealous… Aww…” Lia sighed, a dreamy look in her eyes as she rested her face against the palm of her hand. “How wonderful it is to be in love.”

“You have anyone you’re interested in, Unni?” Yuna’s eyes sparkled with curiosity. “I’ll make it happen for you!”

Yeji was kind enough to mask her laughter with a snort, but the same couldn’t be said about the other two members who shrieked with laughter.

“Y-you mean… y-you’ll be n-nosy!” Chaeryeong choked out as Lia struggled to catch her breath.

“Whatever!” The maknae made a face and whined, falling into Yeji’s open arms once again. “Unni, they’re being mean! Why is everyone being mean today? You trust me right? I’m helpful, aren’t I?”

“H-helpful?” Lia’s eyes practically disappeared as they crinkled with mirth, her body still wheezing with laughter.

“I’m helpful with everything! I’m the one who plans our gatherings with Stray Kids! I even suggested the Truth or Dare game last time! I’m the MOST helpful in making things happen!” Yuna looked at them indignantly as she settled herself on Yeji’s lap.

Yuna may have been the tallest member of the group, but that certainly didn’t stop her from trying to squish her larger frame to fit into Yeji’s arms.

“That’s right! Truth or Dare!” Another giggle came out of Lia’s mouth.

“No one’s denying your helpfulness when it comes to seeing Jisung Oppa.” Chaeryeong teased.

Yeji smiled, but tightened her arms around the youngest’s waist as she let out another wail and snuggled closer into her arms. It was just another day with her gossiping members, another day with Yuna acting as a drama queen. Another day that Yeji cherished.

The next day, Yeji found herself drowsily watching her youngest two members fiddle with various items in the kitchen. It was late Wednesday night, almost Thursday morning, and Ryujin was making some chocolates to give to Byeongkwan for their date on Friday. Yuna had joined for personal enjoyment, as she enjoyed cooking. She was also acting as extra support to Ryujin, although Yeji could hear the cheekiness in the youngest’s voice as she teased about Ryujin’s “boyfriend”. Yeji watched with fond eyes as Ryujin would blush and let out a whine, but not deny the youngest’s claims, which in turn, made Yuna laugh even harder.

 **Cute. Ryujin was so cute.** She thought as she yawned.

“You don’t want to make any, Unni?” Yuna called out to her in a bright voice.

“Did you want me to make some with you?” Yeji blinked sleepily, but stood up to join the younger two in the kitchen.

“Sure!”

A bowl was thrust into her hands and Yeji was immediately put to work, but she didn’t mind. Their excitement was contagious and it was nice to spend quality time together doing activities nonrelated to singing or dancing, activities that typical girls their age would do with their friends. As they decorated chocolates with sprinkles, confectionaries, and other edible furnishings, they chatted about their upcoming plans over the weekend.

“A bookstore, Unni?” Yuna seemed taken aback with a furrow in her brow.

“I don’t mind.” Ryujin shrugged with a lazy smile on her face. “I think it sounds like fun.”

“You don’t even like to read! I’ve never seen you with a book-AH” The youngest yelped, at the sudden shower of sprinkles that Ryujin had tossed in her direction.

“No throwing food.” Yeji tried to speak in a stern voice but ended up giggling at the maknae’s befuddled expression as she dusted the sprinkles off of her.

“Ryujin, no throwing food,” Yeji tried again in a stricter manner. “And Yuna, don’t make fun of your Unni.”

“Yes Mom.” They chimed in unison with cheeky voices to match, giggling as they went back to decorating their chocolates.

“Well, I hope you have fun, Unni. Let us know how it is.” Yuna nodded with a wink.

“I’m excited.” Ryujin nodded shyly, causing Yeji to smile as Yuna let out a cheer.

“I can’t wait for Friday!” Yuna sang as she drizzled white chocolate over her milk chocolate molds.

Suddenly, it dawned upon Yeji.

“Are you going out on Friday too?” Yeji looked at Yuna, feeling slightly bewildered as the youngest’s grin widened.

“Yep! Lia Unni and I are watching a movie together!” Yuna’s voice contained the same excitement as when she spoke about Ryujin’s date.

“And where was my invite?” Yeji pursed her lips in a pout, feeling slightly left out by all the lovey-dovey-ness happening in the other girls’ lives.

“I thought you had plans that day.” Yuna’s smile turned apologetic.

“Plans?” Yeji crinkled her nose as she tried to think of whether she had made any plans.

“Yeah, Unni. Friday? We decided to end practice early because we all have plans?” Yuna looked at her expectantly as Yeji racked her brain.

**Plans... What plans?**

“Oh… You’re right. I do.” Yeji smiled, remembering how she and Chaeryeong had planned a mini hangout with a few of their friends.

She noticed how the younger two members exchanged glances, but didn’t think too much of it, choosing to go back to finish her own chocolate molds instead. By the time they finished, it was a little past two in the morning. While normally they would have all been dead tired, they were super awake due to the adrenaline and excitement that came with decorating (and tasting) their desserts.

“They turned out so pretty!” Yuna squealed, clinging to Ryujin delightedly, who laughed and returned her embrace.

Yeji smiled at their infectious enthusiasm over the finished treats. Just like when they were making treats for their MIDZY fans, each of them had added their own flare to the chocolates, having their own creativity and individuality stand out. However, Yeji couldn’t help but notice that Yuna had divided her chocolates into two bags.

“… Yuna-yah, are you giving these to Jisung?” She lifted up one bag of chocolate that Yuna had packaged.

“Yep!” Yuna beamed, her pearly whites on display as her eyes disappeared into crinkles.

Yeji exchanged smiles with Ryujin. It had been a while since Yuna had cooked something to give to the older boy. During the school year, once in a while Yuna would bring back treats that she had made in home economics to share with the girls. But she always brought two bags – a large one for her Itzy members to share and a small one to give to her favorite Oppa.

“So that’s for Jisung Oppa. Is this for Jeongin?” Ryujin held up the other bag with a teasing smirk.

It seemed like Yeji wasn’t the only one who noticed that the youngest had divided the chocolates evenly between two bags, implying that the other recipient was not her ITZY members.

Yeji giggled as Yuna’s bright smile immediately morphed into a look of absolute disgust.

“No! Eww! No! Heck no!” The youngest pretended to retch before snatching back the bag of chocolates from Ryujin. “Never! It’s for Lia Unni!”

“Lia?” Yeji took a step back, putting on a sad face. “Only Lia? What about me?”

“She’s my date on Friday!” Yuna protested.

“So if I take you on a date, you’ll make me chocolates?” Yeji asked in an innocent voice.

“Sure Unni. If you were my date on Friday, you’d get them too… But you’re not.” Yuna stuck her tongue out, the pout on her face morphing into something more devious.

“Yep, she’s not.” Suddenly, Ryujin was on Yuna’s side, a predatory glint in her eyes as the maknaes eyed their leader as if she was their prey.

“Unni already has plans on Friday.” Yuna snickered.

“And she made chocolates.” Ryujin added with a smug smile as they circled around Yeji.

**What was going on?**

Yeji felt completely lost. Why did it seem as if Yuna and Ryujin knew something that she didn’t? Didn’t they all have plans on Friday? Didn’t they all make chocolate together? What was happening?

“Yes, Unni made chocolates for that person.” Yuna added, playfully poking Yeji’s shoulder.

“I know… That person is so lucky.” Ryujin agreed, joining the youngest to poke Yeji’s other shoulder.

**Who? Chocolates? What?**

Yeji stared at them blankly.

“Who-“

“Aww look! Unni’s getting shy!” Yuna cut her off with an obnoxious giggle as Ryujin chuckled.

“There’s no need for her to be shy though. There’s no such thing as secrets between us.” Ryujin continued.

“What are you talking about?” Yeji asked flatly.

She raised an eyebrow as the two exchanged glances and then giggles.

“Don’t be shy, Unni…” Ryujin started again, a silky tone in her voice.

“Yeah, Unni. We’re all supportive.” Yuna’s voice was like velvet, laced with mystery.

“Supportive of what?” Yeji crossed her arms, frowning at them.

She was starting to feel slightly annoyed by their game. They were obviously toying with her and she didn’t even know about what.

“Supportive…” Yuna’s voice trailed off as Yeji gave her a pointed look.

“Supportive…” Ryujin echoed, exchanging one last smirk with the maknae before they chimed in unison.

“Supportive of Unni with Hyunjin-ie!” And with that, the younger two scurried out of the kitchen with giggles trailing from their lips to escape their leader’s potential wrath.

Yeji didn’t know whether she wanted to laugh or scoff in disbelief.

**Hyunjin-ie. Really?**

She didn’t even call him that! A part of her really wanted to bang her head against the wall. But then, she was suddenly remembered.

**That’s right.**

She was supposed to give chocolates to him. But wait… How did they know she had to give chocolates to Hyunjin? Did she ever mention it to them? Yeji frowned as she tried to recall her memory of telling them. Although she drew a blank, she quickly waved the thought aside.

**Oh well.**

She probably did. She didn’t think too much of it.

The next day, she shot a quick text to Hyunjin.

**I have them. 8:06 am**

**Come and meet me at the hall to get it. 8:07 am**

**READ**

She frowned. Why wasn’t he responding if he read her message?

**??? 8:15 am**

**Hwang Hyunjin?? 8:15 am**

**Let me know when you’re free 8:16 am**

She put her phone down, pushing all the weird feelings and thoughts of chocolate aside to focus on practicing. When it was finally time for their lunch break, she checked her phone and saw that he had messaged her back.

**Give them to me tomorrow. 11:11 am**

**I’m busy today. 11:15 am**

What the heck? She blinked confusedly.

**Ok 12:37 pm**

She began shrugging off the thought when an eerie feeling came upon her.

“Guys…” She opened up her phone calendar. “Tomorrow is-“

“Valentines Day.” All four members chorused together, looking at her with identical Cheshire smiles on their faces.

“… Oh.”

“I told you to leave them at home, Unni.” Yuna laughed at Yeji’s shocked expression. “I tried telling you, but you wouldn’t listen!”

“I didn’t make chocolate for Valentines Day.”

“Uh-huh.”

Yeji blushed as she was surrounding by four pairs of judging eyes who clearly didn’t buy her statement.

“I didn’t!” She insisted defensively. “I didn’t even know it was Valentines Day!”

“… Wow!” Yuna’s eyes were wide in disbelief as they stared her up and down.

“Hyunjin-“

“Felix-“

Suddenly Yeji froze in confusion as did everyone else.

“Felix…” Lia started to say at the same time that Yuna declared, “Hyunjin.”

“Hyunjin?” Chaeryeong appeared as confused as Yeji felt.

“Felix?” Ryujin frowned, looking at the older members and then at Yeji.

“Isn’t it Felix that Yeji wants to give chocolates to?” Lia looked completely puzzled as the younger two members’ eyes bulged out of their sockets.

“No! Hyunjin!”

“I thought it was Daehwi…” Chaeryung turned to Yeji with a questioning glance.

**What in the world was this?**

“Daehwi?!” The other three members practically screeched.

“She said she’s seeing him tomorrow.” Chaeryung looked at them innocently before looking back at Yeji for confirmation.

Ok, that wording was completely misleading. Chaeryung and Yeji BOTH were supposed to see Daehwi tomorrow, along with Chaeryung’s sister, Chaeyeon, so she didn’t know why it was suddenly such a huge deal.

“Unni?!” Yuna shrieked.

“What?!” Ryujin raised her voice in disbelief.

“Wait, where did FELIX come from?” Yuna turned to Lia, who lifted up her hands in surrender.

“You mentioned Truth or Dare the other day so…”

“That’s right!” Yuna screeched, whipping her head back to Yeji so fast that they all heard her neck crack. “Felix, Unni? Really?!”

“No, it’s Hyunjin!” Ryujin shook her head.

Yeji felt a throbbing headache come upon at her as the maknae-line began to raise their voices.

“But she’s seeing Daehwi tomorrow.” Chaeryeong argued. “It can’t be anyone else.”

“No! Actually, Ryujin Unni’s right! It has to be Hyunjin Oppa! Come on! They’ve been spending so much time together! We all know it’s Hyunjin!” Yuna asserted, looking at Yeji challengingly.

“Felix…” The fact that Lia was still bent upon the other 00-liner in Stray Kids as she peered up at Yeji with a hopeful gaze was the last straw.

Had it been any other circumstances, Yeji would have laughed at how outraged they all appeared as they glared at her, burning with curiosity. But since she was the target of their nosiness, she decided it was time for their lunch break.

“…You’re all crazy.” She shook her head as she walked out to take a breather, ignoring their demanding clamors about who the chocolate recipient was.

Yeji had half-in-mind to poison the chocolates before giving them to Hyunjin. He probably did this on purpose, that brat. Intentionally asking her for chocolates on Valentines’ Day to make it seem as if she had a love interest, therefore indirectly harassing her through her nosy members. She was going to kill him.

**Felix? Daehwi? Really?**

Was that the best her members could come up? IF Yeji was planning to give homemade **VALENTINES DAY** chocolates to anyone, OBVIOUSLY it would be the one and only Im Jaebum from GOT7. Didn’t anyone pay attention to her when she stated her ideal type? She shook her head with a sigh. In the back of her mind, she could hear Hyunjin’s indignant voice.

_“Jinyoung Sunbaenim’s worthy of homemade chocolate.”_

Well, she wasn’t going to fight her ‘twin’ for a man, she thought ruefully as she hastened her steps to the storage room.

She walked over to her locker to take out the chocolates she had made. Looking at them again made her realize why her bandmates were so interested in who its recipient was. Last night, she hadn’t been really thinking about décor, too focused on listening as Ryujin described her upcoming date, that she decorated to her heart’s desire _subconsciously_. Her heart’s desire meaning super, girly and sweet chocolates, decorated with heart confectioneries and drizzled with white chocolate. From anyone’s perspective, it could be assumed that the chocolates were for someone special. To be honest, a part of her felt conflicted about giving them to Hyunjin, afraid that if someone caught her, they’d get the wrong idea. With that being said, perhaps it was all for the best that she found out about Valentines Day before it happened. Now that she knew what tomorrow was, she definitely wasn’t giving him or ANYONE these chocolates she had made.

**Nope.**

Yeji did not need any more headaches concerning _nothings_ that easily blew up into scandalous _everythings_ due to everybody’s nosiness and JYP’s love for gossip. **Nope.** She’d eat them herself and get Hyunjin some Choco Boys from the convenience store tomorrow. They were his favorite, after all.

She opened the package, admiring her handiwork. They turned out so pretty. Maybe one day in the future, she’d be able to give her homemade chocolates to her most important person, she thought wistfully. As she started her way back to the practice room, she slipped one into her mouth, savoring the rich taste of milk chocolate.

“Aren’t those mine?”

She practically jumped out of her skin at the sudden tickle of someone’s breath in her ear, leaping into the air with an undignified shriek. She swung her hands blindly out of impulse and probably would have fallen onto the ground, had it not been for the hands that immediately locked around her wrists to hold her steady.

“I told you not to do that!” She hissed as Hyunjin rolled his eyes.

“It’s not my fault you’re so jumpy.” He smirked, keeping his hands on her until she regained her balance. “And… you deserve it.”

She frowned at him, furrowing her brow.

**Deserved what?**

“For eating what’s mine.” He snatched the bag of chocolates from her hand and before she could blink had plopped one of them into his mouth.

“Those aren’t yours-“ She tried to take them back, but he held the bag away from her.

“Super petty, Hwang Yeji.” He snorted, slipping another one into his mouth. “I told you to give them to me tomorrow and so you’re eating them?”

“I said those aren’t for-“

“And you have the nerve to call ME petty?” He keep placing them into his mouth and talking with his mouth full, smacking his lips obnoxiously as he thwarted her attempts to take the bag back.

“They’re not for you! They’re mine!” She gritted her teeth as she jumped around, trying to get them back. “You said tomorrow so I’m gonna give you yours tomorrow! Will you stop?! Give them back!”

She smacked his back, grabbed at his hands, shoved him, practically used all the force she could muster to try to take back her chocolates, but it was too late. He had already shoved all of them into his mouth so that there was only one piece left.

“Hyunjin!” She whined when she finally got the bag back. “Why is there only one left?! There were 10 pieces!”

But Hyunjin being Hyunjin always had to have the last move so he swiftly grabbed the last piece of chocolate and bit into it. Then the cheeky brat offered her the half-eaten piece of chocolate.

“You suck!” She glared at him, landing a smack on his shoulder.

He shrugged and was about to eat the other half when she quickly snatched the piece from his hand and plopped it into her mouth. She scowled at him as she chewed, causing him to chuckle.

“I’ll buy you fish buns.” He offered her a hand, only for her to slap it away angrily.

“I don’t want fish buns! I wanted to eat chocolate!” She was indignant.

Less than a week ago, he was her savior, encouraging her with his gentle presence and kind smile. But today, he was back to his old obnoxious self with the devious glint in his eyes and his hateful smirk.

“I’ll buy you Choco Boys too then.” He said carelessly, stretching his limbs like a cat.

Yep, here was the Hyunjin she knew and loathed – insensitive and annoying.

“Right now?” She squinted at him.

“Why not?” He shrugged nonchalantly. “It’ll only take us like 15 minutes. Let’s go.”

And before she could say a word of protest, his hand curled around her wrist to drag her down the hall and out the back door with him.

“… Why fish buns?” She raised her eyes at him as they walked down the street.

“Punishment. I lost a game so I need to buy fish buns.”

“Now?” She blinked in confusion.

“Yep.”

“And the reason I’m going with you is because-”

“You were in the hall as I was on my way out.” He said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, causing her to let out an incredulous scoff.

“You’re ridiculous.” She fumed.

“Ridiculously handsome, thank you.” He was unbothered.

“You’re such a prince!” She barked.

“I know.” He smirked.

Yeji couldn’t believe this. She couldn’t believe that she had been roped into running an errand with Hwang Hyunjin. **AGAIN!** She let out a soft groan at her current predicament and knew for a fact that once she got back, she’d be subject to her members’ relentless teasing. However since they were already out the door with Hyunjin’s hand only releasing her wrist once they were in route, she grudgingly followed.

Surprisingly, the walk to the fish bun stall felt strangely… nice. It was nostalgic, going down the same path that they walked on together for the past five years to run errands. It was almost like they were trainees again, two high school kids who squabbled along the way about things that seemed so important then, only for them to realize how trivial it was now. So much had changed since then – they both debuted, both grew older, both matured. At the same time, so much remained the same, such as their relationship and partnership. It was comfortable walking down the path with Hyunjin, Yeji realized, with their shoulders lightly brushing against each other’s as they remained side-by-side.

“My, my! Sweetheart, your boyfriend’s really handsome.” The grandma who ran the fish bun stall crooned.

**Her what?**

Yeji was taken aback. They usually received flattering comments about what a beautiful pair of siblings they were or how similar their features looked. Nobody had ever thought she and Hyunjin were dating before. **Ever.** They looked too alike.

“What is this granny saying!” Another customer who appeared to be the same age as the grandma scolded. “Obviously, they’re married! Look, you hurt the young lady’s feelings by disregarding the ring on her finger!”

**WHAT?!**

Yeji’s eyes doubled in size as she turned to face Hyunjin in shock, expecting him to have the same expression she did. To her surprise, he didn’t appear fazed at all.

“Young man, you are very lucky! Having such a beautiful girl as your wife.” The customer patted his arm in a friendly manner.

 ** _Say something._** She was begging him. **_Say anything._**

He did say something, but not what she expected in the least.

“I am lucky.” Hyunjin wrapped an arm around her shoulder, causing her to let out a surprised squeak. “And my Baby loves fish buns so please give us a lot.”

He gave them his charming smile, causing both grandmas to swoon.

“Of course! How wonderful!” The grandma who owned the shop shoved so many buns into the plastic bag it looked like it was about to rip.

“Young love! Enjoy it while it lasts!” The other customer gushed.

“Such a beautiful couple!”

“Who would have thought a ring accessory would lead to assumption of marriage?” Hyunjin snickered as they walked back.

“Right?” She shook her head, glancing down at the ring on her finger.

Ironically, it was a ring that Yeji bought for herself, because she thought it was pretty. She normally didn’t wear accessories to practice, but for some reason she wanted to put it on today. Who knew out of all the days to wear it, today would be the day she’d go out with Hyunjin and have someone assume they were married? She thought of how the ladies at the stall beamed with genuine admiration at them.

**Such a beautiful couple.**

The grandma at the stall had said. For some reason, Yeji didn’t find herself too repulsed at the idea.

“What’s my Baby doing tomorrow for Valentines Day?”

 **Never mind.** Hearing ‘Baby’ come out of Hyunjin’s mouth was disgusting.

“Call me that again and I’ll make sure you never make it to see the Valentine sunrise.” She promised, causing him to let out a nervous laugh as he inched away from her.

“I feel like as you’ve grown older, you’re becoming more violent.” He teased as she rolled her eyes.

“Only towards you, Hyunjin. Only towards you.”

“I guess that makes me special.” He shot her such a greasy grin, she turned away pretending to gag.

“Oh my gosh… Stop!” Despite everything, she couldn’t help but laugh at his cheesy expression.

“Seriously though, what are you doing tomorrow?” He nodded at her, curiosity brimming in his eyes.

“Nothing much. We have practice, but then afterwards, I’m hanging out with Chaeyeon Unni and Daehwi.”

“For Valentines’ Day?” He raised an eyebrow.

“I didn’t even know it was Valentines’ Day.” She let out a careless chuckle. “Maybe I’ll go buy some chocolates to give to them.”

“Give them Choco Boys.” Hyunjin nodded at her. “They’ll like it.”

“That’s what I was planning on giving you!” She laughed, shaking her head. “… Until you ate all my chocolate!”

“You mean my chocolate.” His eyes narrowed at her.

“No, MY chocolate!” She corrected, mirroring his expression. “They were mine!”

“You made them for me.” He scoffed.

“You didn’t want them!” She sputtered, slightly riled up. “So I was gonna eat them and give the prince Choco Boys tomorrow, like he wanted.”

“I never said I didn’t want them.” He was instigating and as always, Yeji took the bait.

“You said-“

“I wanted them tomorrow.” He cut her off coolly, causing her to scoff.

“Does it _matter_ Hyunjin?” She sighed, shaking her head.

She shouldn’t have been as surprised as she was about his pettiness. After all, Hyunjin had a reputation as a, _if not the biggest_ , drama king to walk the halls of JYP. He had his own set ways and a peculiarity about certain things. Hyunjin’s dramatic self was just something she had to deal with it, as did everyone else. Though she asked him a question, she hadn’t been expecting an answer. However, she realized that Hyunjin wasn’t walking beside her anymore and quickly turned her head from left to right before whirling around. It appeared that Hyunjin had stopped a while ago because he was some feet away.

“… Hyunjin?”

And suddenly, it was as if she was back on the train platform to go to Jeonju, with Hyunjin staring at her with an indecipherable expression. His brown eyes were heavy, weighing her down like a chain that wrapped around her neck. She became paralyzed at those eyes that were chilling with an unusual intensity, and started to drown in the mystery of his eyes that she had never known. She felt her breath being cut off as fear began creeping into her.

 _One look, one second of eye-contact, one glance –_ that’s all it should have taken. But why couldn’t she tell what he was thinking? What was happening? She looked at him helplessly, completely rendered motionless by those haunted eyes that gripped her like a vice.

“…No… I guess it doesn’t.” He looked away.

She was able to breathe again. As she took in shallow breaths, he strutted past her without a care, but Yeji noticed how the air had shifted. Hyunjin may have acted as if the tension was gone, but she could still feel the heaviness in the air, the dark cloud that loomed over them. She noticed how his expression had gone frosty, how the atmosphere around him turned detached. And it scared her.

She quickly trailed after him and although she hesitated for a second, reached for his hand. His hand was as cold as his expression and it also felt detached. He didn’t pull his hand away from hers, but he didn’t clasp it either, allowing it to hang limp as she clutched to his fingers.

“… Choco Boys?” Her voice was soft, full of uncertainty and she gave his fingers a gentle squeeze.

“Sure.” He answered curtly, causing her heart to sink.

She started letting go of his hand when he suddenly gripped it, giving it a gentle squeeze. For a few breaths, they walked like that – hand-in-hand and tense silence.

“…I’m sorry.” She didn’t even know why she was apologizing or what she was apologizing for. All she knew was that she hated this tension between them, tension that formed a gap she couldn’t cross. She’d rather him tease her than be aloof; rather have him insufferably close than coldly distant.

“For what?” Suddenly, there was a cocky expression on his face, his brown eyes full of the mirth and his lips curved up into an arrogant smirk.

It was as if nothing had happened, the tension evaporating into the thin air as he wiggled his eyebrows.

She huffed at him and let go of his hand, muttering under her breath about his immaturity, but truth be told, she was relieved. Both times, she had felt an uncomfortable squeeze in her heart when he made an expression she was unfamiliar with, when his eyes became cold and callous. She’d take an obnoxious Hyunjin over an icy Hyunjin any day.

Hyunjin ended up buying Choco Boys not only for herself, but also for her to give to her friends tomorrow.

“Hyunjin, I could have just bought them chocolate tomorrow. You didn’t need to buy it for me.” She sighed, shaking her head as they walked back to the practice rooms.

“You said Daehwi’s gonna be there, right? Let him know it’s from me and that I expect something back for White Day.” He spoke with such a smug tone as he lifted up his chin haughtily that Yeji was startled into a quiet laugh.

“Ok…” She agreed, nodding as a few giggles escaped her lips. “Ok... Thank you.”

They walked back in comfortable silence and as soon as they reached the building, Hyunjin quickly hurried off to the Stray Kids practice room without even a backwards glance at Yeji. And while she half-expected it, she still found herself letting out a scoff as he disappeared behind the corner of the hallways. Typical Hyunjin – paying attention and showering her with flattering words as he dragged her to run errands, only to ignore her as soon as it was over. Hwang Hyunjin was still the same after all these years, she thought dryly as she went to rejoin her other members for lunch.

“Have fun with Hyunjinie Oppa?” Yuna’s cheeky voice as well as her members knowing smirks indicated that they had probably spotted her being dragged out of the building by Hyunjin.

However, Yeji didn’t give them the satisfaction of a negative reaction.

“Fish buns.” She kept her facial expression neutral and her voice, flat as she handed the bag to the youngest.

“Errands?” Ryujin teased as Yeji sat down wearily.

“You know how he is.” She let out a sigh, rubbing her temple.

“Always?” Lia asked with a good-natured smile. “You guys were always close right?”

That made Yeji grimace as the maknae line snorted to mask their snickers that came out regardless.

“If you mean how he’s always looking for Yeji Unni as his errand buddy, then yes.” Yuna laughed so hard, she almost choked on the pastry.

“He’s still the same. He never changes,” Chaeryeong affirmed, reaching over to take a fish bun from Yuna.

“But he’s mellowed down over the years.” Ryujin added thoughtfully. “He used to be super uptight. He’s not anymore.”

All four members looked at Yeji curiously, waiting for her input as she rolled her neck.

“… I wouldn’t say he’s never changed… but certain things about him remain the same.” She said with finality.

“Like his love for Choco Boys!” The maknae line cackled, causing Yeji to smile.

Yes, his love for Choco Boys hadn’t changed after all these years. Neither had his childish stubbornness nor his fierce tenacity. He was still sensitive about trivial things and could blow up small things out of proportions. There were a lot of things that hadn’t changed about Hwang Hyunjin.

**But it didn’t matter.**

Yeji nibbled on her fish bun as she came to her final conclusion. Change or no change, it didn’t matter, because Hwang Hyunjin’s existence still served the same significance in Yeji’s life. He was one constant that wouldn’t change around her, the constant that reminded her of herself. A constant that was a given in her life. If she had to compare him to something, he was like chocolates given on Valentines Day – something expected and something consistent. Just like how Valentines Day was associated with chocolates, Hyunjin would always be associated with Yeji. He was constant.

**Hyunjin was constant.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this chapter.   
> As always, I do find your feedback/comments helpful and I do respond to comments so feel free to leave me your thoughts. 
> 
> Spoiler: Next chapter will be introducing a new character that enters Yeji's life so stay tuned. ^^
> 
> TEASER:
> 
> Yeji felt a warmth spread over her cheeks, a quiet giggle escaping from her lips as Daehwi let out a whine about how they were the worst friends ever. But she didn’t mind. Not when ____ was smiling back at her across the way, his own shy laughter disrupting the screech that Daehwi emitted, his dimples erasing the glaring presence that stood on her right. 
> 
> Cute. _____ was cute.


	9. Valentine's Day

“Happy Valentines Day.” Yeji did her best to play off the slight tint of embarrassment on her cheeks as she took out pre-packaged Ferrero Rochers as well as the bright yellow boxes of Choco Boys that Hyunjin had purchased the day before.

“Aww Yeji!” Chaeyeon beamed. “Thanks!”

Chaeryeong raised an eyebrow curiously, but didn’t say a word as she accepted the desserts.

“What is this? Choco Boys?” Daehwi laughed at the unusual chocolate gift, but took it regardless. “I’ve never received this on Valentine’s Day before.”

“Have you received ANY chocolates on Valentine’s Day before?” Chaeryeong deadpanned, causing the boy to flush and stammer.

“Th-that’s… W-well… I’m not telling!” He looked away with a huff as the girls laughed.

“Unni… what did you do with them?” Chaeryeong muttered quietly so that only Yeji could hear her as Daehwi loudly complained to Chaeyeon about how they were always making fun of him.

“… I ate them.”

Technically, it wasn’t a lie because Yeji did eat one and a half pieces of her homemade chocolates. There was no need for Chaeryeong to know about the brat who shoveled the rest of them into his mouth. Yeji was thankful that while appearing unconvinced, Chaeryeong didn’t say anything else.

Over dinner, the four of them exchanged life updates – things they were doing, goals for the year, and hardships that only people in their social circle would understand. But as usual, there was always one particular individual who tended to dominate the conversation whenever they gathered.

“I just wanna kill myself.” Daehwi moaned, looking up at the ceiling. “Comeback’s coming up and the new song’s not finished. It’s not good enough and I don’t know how to make it better!”

Yeji exchanged wry smiles with the Chae sisters as the moping boy laid his head on the table, letting out an amplified sigh.

“My fragile body cannot handle this… Perhaps death would be sweeter. ‘Death, death. Oh lovely death!’ Shakespeare was right!”

A part of Yeji found it amusing that neither she nor the Chae sisters batted an eye in surprise that the one Shakespearean quote Daehwi remembered from high school literature was about death.

**Oh dramatic Daehwi.**

Had Daehwi stayed in JYP, Hyunjin’s title as the “Biggest Drama King” would have never come to fruition; simply because Lee Daehwi was the sassiest and most dramatic individual that Yeji had ever met in her life. No one even came close to the exaggerated theatrics that he pulled off. He easily dethroned Hyunjin, knocked down her Yuna. Even Jinyoung Sunbaenim, who had a reputation for his bouts of pettiness, didn’t come close to the striking personality embodied in the form of Lee Daehwi. Daehwi, the most interesting person in Yeji’s life.

“If you kill yourself, can I have the song you’re working on?” Chaeyeon asked innocently, causing his head to shoot up with a gasp that borderlined into a screech.

“No! And for that, I’m NEVER writing you a song! Ever!” His sneer did nothing to deter the Chae sisters’ laughter.

“You’ll be fine.” Yeji tried to placate with a warm smile, stifling her own giggles at his overplayed reactions. “Your songs are always good…”

“I agree.” Chaeyeon smiled sweetly, shooting him a wink. “Breathe is one of my favorite songs. _I wanna breathe, just_ -“

“ _Set me free_.” All three girls sang together.

Although he let out another huff, they could all see how his lips had curved into a smug smile of satisfaction. That was Daehwi for you – as easy as he was to annoy, he was also extremely easy to please.

“It’s ok to take a break sometimes.” Chaeryeong nodded at him. “You’re only human…”

“I guess…” He let out another dramatic sigh as he dug into chopsticks deep into his bowl.

“Cheer up.” Chaeyeon’s eyes sparkled with their usual lighthearted warmth. “Come on! We came to hang out so we wouldn’t have to talk about work! Let’s talk about something else. You still haven’t told us why we’re eating here today.” She rested her head against the palm of her hand, looking at the boy with peaked interest.

Daehwi was the one who tended to choose their spots for hangout, being the social butterfly and social media addict who knew all the new and hot spots for eating, shopping, and anything else they wanted to do. Today was no exception, the small mom-and-pop restaurant that they were currently eating at being his idea.

“One, this place’s food is worth gold. Two, not a lot of people know about it yet, which makes it even better–not for the shop, but for me. Three, there’s a few other small shops along the street, including a boutique.” As usual, he stated his three points in an over-the-top manner, using his phone to show them the route of the stores he wanted to hit up, as if he were a tour guide.

“Shopping?” Yeji asked with a good-natured giggle.

“I need new clothes. They don’t fit.” Another aggrandized sigh as he put his phone down.

“Bragging much.” Chaeyeon snorted.

“That’s not what I meant!” Daehwi sputtered, reaching for Chaeyeon’s arm, which she snatched away with a look of disdain as Yeji and Chaeryeong laughed.

**A tiny crack in the mask.**

Yeji smiled pensively, watching as another familiar scene unfolded.

“I didn’t mean it! I don’t- Nuna, you know you’re beautiful!” The panic only grew in the boy’s voice as Chaeyeon turned away from him.

“Whatever Daehwi… First, you won’t write me a song. Now you’re bragging about your weight.” She pretended to sniffle. “While I work so hard to lose-“

“You don’t need to lose weight! You look fine! And I’ll write you a song! I’ll buy dinner today! I’ll do anything! Just please stop this!” He cried out all in one breath, heaving over the table as he reached for her again.

“Great! Thank you for the meal.” She immediately turned back with a cheeky smile on her face, all traces of disdain and hurt gone.

She made an exaggerated motion of digging back into her plate, causing the girls to laugh as he groaned again.

**The mask was off. She did it! Again.**

Yeji looked at Chaeyeon with a mixture of admiration and gratitude.

Daehwi was Yeji’s most interesting friend, but he was also the friend that she worried about the most. There was no doubt that Daehwi was born to be a star. He was talented, artistic with a quick sense and a boldness to match. He was also outspoken, having a dramatic personality and a sassy attitude to back it up. However, somewhere along the line, the sharpest and most transparent boy in the world became muddled with hundreds of feelings and thousands of thoughts that skewed him up and Yeji watched as the shining star became twisted into dark matter. It was heartbreaking and also terrifying. The scariest thing about it was that Daehwi still shone – he still appeared as the star he was, because of his **mask.**

 **Mask.** That’s what Somi labeled it; an act or a front, the genuine part of Daehwi warped into a façade. **Defense mechanism** was what Chaeyeon called it, her eyes watching Daehwi with a hint of sadness as she softly voiced out her thoughts. It was both.

The mask wasn’t on all the time. There were days that Daehwi radiated with sincere happiness, authentic laughter bursting from his mouth as his eyes sparkled with life. But other times, the mask remained over him for days, weeks, months at a time. Somehow, he utilized his personality as an escape – loud gossip on irrelevant things to avoid talking about deeper issues; over-the-top dramatics to distract from the emotions that remained hidden deep inside; screaming hyperboles to silence the secret whispers of sickness and brokenness of the heart; painted smiles carved on the face that darkened with despair.

Yeji noticed. They all did. How could they not? But they couldn’t do anything about it. Not when the boy they all knew and loved would only build higher and thicker iron walls of defense in response to their prodding. So they played his game – gossiped with him when he couldn’t spill his true thoughts; reflected his surface emotions back to him until he numbed out his pain; shouted with him when he couldn’t bear the silence that threatened to shatter him; and laughed with him until the masked smile melted into a real one. Or maybe it wasn’t real at all. Maybe he just got better at fooling all of them and himself.

And yet, there were also moments where the mask would crack in front of their eyes, where he’d take off the mask to reveal his true self, star and dark matter combined – the REAL Daehwi: the Daehwi who faced things head-on; the Daehwi who poured himself out so that he could fill himself with new things, good things; the Daehwi who was painfully honest and strong in his beliefs. The cracks in the mask would generally lead to him taking off his mask for the rest of the day, giving Yeji the pleasure of spending time with the real Daehwi.

**And it always started with Chaeyeon Unni.**

If there was anyone who was a match for Lee Daehwi, it was Lee Chaeyeon. Jeon Somi too, of course, being Daehwi’s best friend, but their approach to the boy was totally different. Somi would pound through the iron walls he put up, forcing entry through brute force so she could rescue him from his self-imposed isolation. To paint a picture, if Daehwi was a star surrounded by overwhelming darkness, Somi would be a meteor, a ball of hot air and fire, desperate to take him out of the darkness using physical means.

Chaeyeon was different. She wouldn’t beat down or pound, wouldn’t scream or yank. She’d nudge, give a gentle poke, watching his reaction and then wait, always waiting patiently. She’d nudge, he’d push back. She’d come back, he’d shove her away, but she’d bounce back up to him. Again and again. And again. Daehwi was a star and Chaeyeon made herself the space around him, surrounding him from all sides with her playful, yet gentle presence as she coaxed him out of his darkness.

These two forces were the only two people could easily rile him up, but even more easily calm him down. Somi would use all her might to yank the mask off him so she could smash it to pieces. However, **the only person who caused cracks through Daehwi’s mask was Chaeyeon.** She would keep knocking on him until cracks in the mask began to form and then Daehwi took it off himself.

**And right now was one of those times. It wasn’t an act. It was real. This was the real Daehwi.**

“I feel like you do this just to get me to buy you food.” The boy grumbled, but even then, Yeji could see the soft smile underneath his gruff.

“Consider it payment for all those times I cooked for you.” Chaeyeon sang, shooting him another wink.

It took all of Yeji’s self-control not to laugh at how he choked on his food and looked away, face reddening as the older girl grinned at him.

“I’m regretting those times.” He muttered as the older girl let out a bright laugh, undeterred by his sour expression.

“You reap what you sow.” Chaeryeong piped unhelpfully as he glowered at them.

Yeji only laughed and gave him two pats on the back as encouragement.

“Whatever… Oh! I invited a friend!” His face split into a grin. “He couldn’t join us for dinner, but he said he’s coming after! He’ll be here soon.”

“He?” Chaeyeon asked good-naturedly as the younger two girls looked at him curiously.

“I didn’t want to be the only guy.” He shrugged carelessly.

“He says he didn’t want to be the only guy?” Chaeyeon mock-gasped. “As if that’s ever stopped him before!”

“I thought Somi’s your best friend.” Chaeryeong joined her sister in teasing the flustered boy.

“She is! She’s-“

“Whatever Lee Daehwi.” Chaeryeong cut him off coolly with a wave of her hand.

“I-

“We see how it is.” Chaeyeon pretended to sniffle.

“Would you let me-“

“So much for our friendship.”

“AHH!” Daehwi let out a scream of frustration, causing all the girls to break into a fit of giggles.

“Yeji-yah!” Daehwi whined, turning to the only girl who hadn’t join the teasing. “They’re being mean! I don’t want to hang out anymore!”

“We’re leaving to meet with our parents right after anyways.” Chaeryeong snorted.

“Yeah, don’t worry Daehwi. We’re leaving.” Chaeyeon grinned at him.

“Wait… Seriously?” His eyes widened as he looked up at them in shock. “I didn’t mean it!”

“We told you in the group chat!” Chaeryeong frowned.

“What?!” He turned to Yeji in disbelief.

“They did… You even said that’s cool.” Yeji laughed, nodding her head in confirmation.

“You said you were fine just playing with Yeji.” Chaeyeon teased, wriggling her eyebrows.

Yeji let out an awkward laugh, looking away as Daehwi scoffed.

“What is this girl saying?” He muttered, also turning his face away.

Yeji loved the Chae sisters, but they were absolutely the worst when it came to subtlety about their opinions. It also didn’t help that they had the most incorrect opinions. It had already been a year since Chaeyeon had been hinting at Daehwi and Yeji to get together when there had been zero indication that there was a hint of romance between them. Yeji didn’t know whether Chaeryeong even believed it herself, but the younger girl tended to go with whatever her older sister wanted.

“I’m not saying anything!” Chaeyeon put up her hands with a sly smile. “BUT whatever you two are feeling is up to you.”

“I’m not feeling anything.” Daehwi said flatly, turning to look at Yeji. “You?”

“Nothing.” She answered in a voice equally as dry.

“Sure, sure.” Chaeyeon winked at them and then stood up. “We’ll be leaving now. Thank you for dinner… Enjoy your date.”

“See you tomorrow Unni.” Chaeryeong gave Yeji a quick hug before also standing up to join her sister.

“Date?” Daehwi scoffed in disbelief as Yeji smiled wryly.

“Yeji, do you like me? Tell me now!” He shot her an uncalled look of suspicion.

She contemplated smacking him across the head.

“Still wanna die before comeback?” She shot him a mild glare. “I can assist with that.” She threatened, raising a hand.

“Then why is she still acting like that?!” He lifted his hands in surrender, backing away although the scowl remained on his face.

“I don’t know Lee Daehwi!”

**She really didn’t. How on earth did Chaeyeon get to THAT conclusion? It couldn’t have been farther from the truth.**

“She’s completely off.” He muttered under his breath.

“…How’s she supposed to know if you never tell her anything?” She let out a sigh of pity at the hopeless boy.

“I always tell her we have nothing like that between us!” He barked. “She’s-“

“She’s not a mind-reader, Daehwi.” Yeji spoke in a kinder tone. “… She can be dense too.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He looked away, but she could see how his ears and cheeks had reddened.

“Ok.” She said good-naturedly.

If Daehwi didn’t want to talk about it, he didn’t need to. But Yeji knew that Daehwi REALLY WANTED to talk about it.

“…How’d you know?” His voice fell quiet and he fiddled with his fingers, keeping his eyes away from her.

“… You’re pretty obvious.” A small smile cracked on her face as his head shot up so that he could give her a quick glare.

“If I’m obvious, how come she hasn’t noticed?” His voice was bitter as he looked away.

“Not obvious, obvious! Like… Hmm, let’s see… You’re obvious in your own way… In only the way Lee Daehwi could be obvious.”

He let out a snort at that.

“I’m being serious!” She insisted, a giggle escaping her lips. “You have your own way…”

“Not even Somi knows.” He rolled his eyes.

“I guess that means your best friend is me.” She linked arms with him in a friendly manner as they walked along the main road, causing him to chuckle.

“Sure…” He shook his head, but made no motion to pull away.

It was freezing outside, with patches of ice covering the ground so any type of physical contact for warmth was welcome at the moment.

“It’s freezing.” Daehwi hissed, huddling closer to her. “And where is he? He said he’s on his way!”

“Traffic? It is a Friday night.”

They both winced as a gust of the cruel winter wind swept through them.

“Forget it. Let’s wait inside.” Daehwi steered them to the nearest store.

“Didn’t you want to go clothes shopping? We’re in a toy store…” Yeji spoke in a low voice, smiling politely to the older gentleman behind the counter while inwardly praying that he didn’t recognize them.

Thankfully he didn’t, barely giving them a nod of acknowledgment when they entered his door.

“It’s too cold outside! I’ll just tell him to come here.” He whipped out his phone and furiously sent a quick message. “Ugh… I can’t even feel my fingers.”

He rubbed his hands against his pants, trying to generate warmth with the friction when his eyes lit up.

“I think it’s time for some snacks.” He took out a familiar yellow package with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

“We just ate…” She giggled at his sneaky expression. “And didn’t you say you were on a diet?”

“That’s why we’re sharing.” He popped one into his mouth and held out the open bag towards Yeji. “Help me eat them.”

She started to reach out her hand, then stopped.

“… I can’t.” She took her hand back, looking away as she feigned a sad expression.

“Why not?” He frowned, putting another one into his mouth before shaking the bag towards her impatiently.

“… Because the Choco Boys are from Hyunjin,” She turned back to him, a small smile tugging her lips upwards. “And he told me to tell you he expects something back on White Day.”

Just as she predicted, his face contorted into a look of absolute disgust, causing her to laugh so loud that the worker behind the counter briefly glanced up from his newspaper in annoyance.

“You eat them.” He shoved the package into her hands. “I don’t want them anymore.”

“He’ll be hurt to hear that!” She teased, giggles still trailing out of her mouth as she tried to hand them back to him. “… He specifically bought them for you.”

“Let him know, I respectfully decline!” He backed away, his voice becoming high-pitched with hysterics.

“Daehwi-“

“Tell him I appreciate the gesture, but no!” He was skirting around her, trying to avoid the package.

“No!” She laughed. “It’s yours! Take it!”

A loud cough caused them both to freeze and they turned their heads to see the gentleman looking at them with an expression that seemed to convey, ‘buy something or get out’. They stifled their remaining laughter as they turned to the plushies in front of them with newfound interest.

“… He’s coming soon, right?” She lowered her voice, causing Daehwi to shift closer to her.

“He’d better.” Daehwi muttered through his teeth. “He’s turned me down four times before finally saying yes to today. I’ll kill him if he doesn’t show up.”

“Who is he?” She glanced at him curiously as he shoveled the remaining of the Choco Boys into his mouth.

“I didn’t tell you?” Daehwi looked like a chipmunk, his cheeks puffed out and eyes wide as he looked back at her.

She waited for him to finish eating to hear the rest of his answer.

“I thought I did. Oh wow…” He swallowed before his face split into a grin. “... You know him too! He’s-“

The sound of the front door scraping against the floor as it swung open and then slammed shut behind the wind interrupted them.

Yeji whipped her head and her eyes widened at the sight of a tall boy.

“Sorry… Sorry, I’m late.” The newcomer panted as he tried to catch his breath.

She blinked, staring at the boy who now stood in front of her gasping for air. There was something oddly familiar about this boy, but it was only when he stood up straight and she was able to take a clear look at his face that she tensed for about three seconds, stunned. Daehwi was right. She knew this boy. She was pretty sure that everyone did. His dark brown eyes met hers and then immediately darted around. Seems like she wasn’t the only one surprised.

“Introduce yourself.” Daehwi poked at his ribs, before turning to Yeji, nodding at her to do the same.

For a long ten seconds, it was quiet, both of them unsure of how to start so Yeji opened her mouth.

“Hi…” She thought about bowing respectfully, but decided to wave awkwardly instead. “I’m Hwang Yeji…”

The boy blinked twice, staring at Yeji in a daze before quickly averting his gaze shyly. She felt a strange sense of déjà vu as he furtively gazed back up to look at her eyes for a split second before looking away again.

“… Soobin… Choi Soobin.”

_“… Yeji.” Yeji felt her throat go dry as he came back to face her, but she mustered up all her courage. “Hwang Yeji.”_

She had an immediate flashback of her younger days.

She blinked and noticed how Soobin did the same. Unconsciously, a small smile warmed on her lips as she fixated her eyes on the newcomer who shifted on his feet nervously, playing with his hands. She was so focused on him that she completely missed the knowing smile Daehwi had as he quietly observed the two of them.

“Every time we go out, you’re always getting plushies.” Daehwi commented.

While it may have been pure coincidence that they decided to meet at a toy store, Soobin was ecstatic as soon as he took in his surroundings. Yeji watched with fascination as he browsed over the plushies with a sparkle in his eyes and a satisfied smile on his lips. Never mind that they were all 20 year-old full-blown adults; the tallest boy seemed to fit right in with the cute and soft dolls all around him.

Currently, Soobin had two different plushies in his hands. He had been debating over which doll to get for the past five minutes and it was apparent that Daehwi was becoming impatient. But Yeji didn’t mind. In fact, a part of her was endeared as he contemplated back-and-forth between his hands, eyeing each one again and again as he compared design, price, and size.

She watched as a soft pink bloomed on Soobin’s face as he shook his head.

“It’s not for me! It-it’s for Huening Kai! He’s been wanting the new addition from this series.” He said bashfully, lifting up the two plushies in his hands to hide his face.

“He’s gonna be a high school senior and he still wants more dolls?” Daehwi looked at the tall boy in disbelief.

Yeji quickly elbowed Daehwi in the ribs, causing him to let out a soft squawk as she shook her head at him. Taking pity on the blushing boy who mumbled a few other things about the boy called ‘Huening Kai’ that she couldn’t quite make out, she decided to help.

“… This is the most popular one.” She came beside Soobin, pointing to the plushie in his right hand. “And it’s cuter.”

“So I should get this one?” He looked at her in excitement, shining eyes with a childish grin to match as he held up the one she had picked out.

“… I think he’d like that one.” She hummed, biting back a laugh at how eagerly he held the plushie to his chest.

“I’ll buy this one then.” He practically skipped to the counter to pay for the doll.

“Cute.” Daehwi sauntered next to her.

“He is.”

It took her five seconds to realize that she had accidently voiced her agreement out loud. She blushed and turned to Daehwi, only to see him smirking at her.

“I meant the plushie, but ok.” Daehwi, being the brat he was, teased, wriggling his eyebrows.

“Zip it.” She gave him a soft shove before covering her face with her hands embarrassedly.

“You’re not wrong though… He is very cute. Very.” Daehwi’s wink made her want to run away.

“Daehwi-“

“Your secret’s safe with me!” He made a gesture that appeared to be a locking motion to his mouth before pretending to throw the key away.

She huffed at him as he let out a laugh, but didn’t say anything else.

Because it was true. Choi Soobin was cute. In a weird way, he reminded Yeji of a younger version of herself – shy and gentle. She felt a strange sense of motherly desire to preserve that innocence, which in retrospect was completely ridiculous as he was an adult male who was also the leader of his own group, but hey! If the shoe fits, as her mother always used to say.

Within 10 minutes of knowing Soobin, she had already witnessed him tripping three times over his own feet. Yeji ended up catching him the third time, smiling as blush painted over his cheeks. She steadied him for less than five seconds before he pulled away, apologizing profusely. A tiny part of her was tempted to link arms with him just to prevent it from happening again, but they weren’t close enough to do that yet.

**Yet? Where did that thought come from?**

“And you know…” Daehwi started again, speaking tentatively this time. “Soobin’s really nice.”

Yeji smiled as he looked at her seriously.

“Like really nice… He’s great.”

“I’m sure he is,” She let out a sigh, shaking her head at him.

“I mean it!” He insisted, nodding at her. “He’s really nice.”

“… I get what you mean… I know.”

She did because he really was. Call it 6th sense, but all of her radars detected nothing but good things about Soobin. He really was a nice person. And he was cute too. And an introvert. He was similar to Yeji in all the right ways.

“You should get to know him.” A smile tugged on his lips to soften the serious look on Daehwi’s face. “…You would like him.”

A part of Yeji wanted to laugh at the irony of that statement while the other part of her was just thankful that Daehwi had never seen her younger self interact with Yeonjun. She would have never been able to live it down if he did. Daehwi was one of the sharpest people she knew, having a seventh sense about everything. He was the one who managed to figure out her puppy crush on Jaebum Sunbaenim by a quick glance. He also wouldn’t shut up about that for months, always using it against her whenever he needed something, that devilish brat. While that was in the past, one thing remained the same: Daehwi knew her well enough to make a call about who she would like, just like how she knew him well enough to spot his crush on their older friend in a heartbeat.

“Like who?” Soobin’s innocent voice cut in.

Yeji stifled a laugh as Daehwi jumped up with a yelp at Soobin’s sudden intrusion.

“Don’t do that! I hate it when people do that! Don’t be sneaking up on me!” He scowled.

“Which it makes it even more fun to sneak up on him.” She half-whispered to Soobin, as if they were sharing a secret.

She froze for a second when he looked at her wide-eyed, as if he was surprised that she was joking with him already. To be honest, Yeji surprised herself. Being an introvert, she never reached out first, always waited for people to befriend her. But with Soobin, she found herself bold. Was she being too forward? But then he smiled.

“…I’ll make sure to do it often.” He slowly nodded at her, his dimples showing as he grinned.

She felt a warmth spread over her cheeks, a quiet giggle escaping from her lips as Daehwi let out a whine about how they were the worst friends ever. But she didn’t mind. Not when Soobin was smiling back at her across the way, his own shy laughter disrupting the screech that Daehwi emitted, his dimples erasing the glaring presence that stood on her right.

**Cute. Soobin was cute.**

“Choi Soobin, since we haven’t known each other for that long, I’m willing to forgive you. But YOU, Hwang Yeji?! You should know better! You’re acting like Hwang Hyunjin right now!”

She made a face as Daehwi let out a hysterical laugh.

“Watch your mouth, Lee Daehwi.” She rolled her eyes, giving him a soft flick on his arm.

“You’re just salty ‘cause you know it’s true.” He smirked, puffing up like a puffer fish.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She spoke in a flat tone as they walked out the store.

“Hyunjin…” Soobin said out loud, causing both of them to look at him curiously.

“You know Hyunjinie?” Daehwi asked surprised.

“Not personally… Beomgyu knows him. He’s friends with Beomgyu… I think Yeonjunie Hyung also knows him.”

 **Of course.** Leave it to Hwang Hyunjin to be the social flower that everyone gravitated towards.

“He’s one of my closest friends.” Daehwi perked up excitedly. “I’ll invite him next time! You should get to know him.”

“You’re not missing out on much.” Yeji shook her head with a sigh, causing Daehwi to let out another guffaw as Soobin smiled sheepishly at her.

“Wow Yeji!” Daehwi spit out when he finally calmed down. “Still? After all these years? You still don’t get along?”

“We get along just fine, as long as we have enough social distance.”

“I’m gonna tell Hyunjinie!”

“Tell him.” She challenged, returning his smirk. “He already knows.”

“Wow! I’m gonna-“ A ring interrupted their friendly banter.

Yeji smiled as Daehwi’s face immediately contorted into a grimace.

“It’s Woojinie Hyung.” He glowered. “Give me a second… What?!”

She laughed as the boy’s tone went up three pitches higher in annoyance as he spoke over the phone. Daehwi turned and walked a few feet away from them to have some privacy, leaving her and Soobin awkwardly standing together in silence.

She turned to face Soobin, and noticed that he had a bashful smile on his face as he alternated between looking down at the floor and then at her. Suddenly, her throat felt dry and she was at a complete loss for what to do. She felt like she should say something, make small talk to try to get to know him, but even after five years, Yeji was still the shy girl who was tongue-tied in front of strangers, especially boys.

Out of the blue, her bag felt heavier and she remembered that she had purchased one extra box of chocolates, just in case Somi changed her mind and ended up joining them for dinner. She didn’t, so the box remained in Yeji’s bag. Should she offer it to Soobin? It was Valentine’s Day, after all. She started to reach inside her bag when at that moment, her eyes looked up and locked on his. Dark brown connected with dark brown and as if they were electrified, they both flinched and looked away.

If it weren’t for the fact that her heart was pounding in her chest, Yeji would have laughed at the ridiculousness of it. Why were they so shy? It wasn’t like it was the first time they had seen each other or met. They greeted each other in the waiting room of music shows and award shows many times. She shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other and noticed how he did the same. She let out a soft hum and was startled into a smile as he did too. She looked at him bravely, only to turn away as soon as their eyes met. A nervous giggle escaped his lips and she found herself triggered as well, the box of chocolates growing heavier in her bag. But before she could muster her courage to take them out, Daehwi returned.

“Sorry guys. Hyungs wanted to know what I was… What is this?” His eyes narrowed, glancing at them from left-to-right.

Yeji coughed and looked away as Soobin tried to smile at the shorter boy.

“What’s the matter with you two?” He asked suspiciously.

“Nothing.” Yeji spoke too quickly. “Nothing! Right… Soobin?” She did her best not to cringe at her own voice and how she had spoken to him informally without permission.

But Soobin nodded rapidly, his eyes blinking nervously as he tried to back her up.

“Y-yes. Yes… Yeji.”

This time, Yeji did wince at how awkward Soobin’s voice sounded.

 **Oh my gosh.** They weren’t fooling anyone. They were the worst pair of liars ever. And Yeji thought Hyunjin was bad. Soobin was even worse!

“Oh my gosh!” Daehwi let out a howl of laughter. “You guys are terrible! So awkward! Do you hate each other or something?”

“No!”

“No, that’s not it!”

Both Yeji and Soobin panicked, shooting each other quick glances as they pleaded with the sniggering boy.

“I like him! I think he’s nice! I like you, Soobin-shi.” She wasn’t thinking as the words spilled from her lips.

“M-me too! Me too! I also admire you, Yeji-shi!”

“Soobin-shi?” Daehwi clutched to Soobin so he wouldn’t lose his balance passing out from laughter. “Y-Yeji-shi? Y-you guys are h-hilarious!”

He was laughing so hard, tears were streaming from his eyes as his body shook with mirth. Yeji was so embarrassed, she could feel the heat all over her body. She was certain that her face was completely red so she opted to fanning herself as she looked away, trying to regain her bearings.

After what seemed like forever of Daehwi laughing his head off, he finally calmed down, leaning against the taller boy as he relaxed. As the last of his chuckles trailed out of his mouth, Yeji glanced at the boys, only to see Soobin looking just as embarrassed as she was. However, unlike Yeji who had calmed down, the flush on his face seemed to have darkened. And she found herself oddly fascinated by the blush on his cheeks and ears. He may have been the tallest person she had met, but he looked so soft, especially as the moon illuminated the redness on his pale skin.

**Cute. He was-**

“From now on, Soobin will be hanging out with us.” Daehwi announced, causing Soobin’s eyes to widen. “I don’t care that you’re a homebody. You WILL make time to hang out once every few months!” He jabbed at the taller boy’s chest as he stood up straight. “You’ll be hanging out with us until you and Yeji can say each other’s names without tripping over your words.”

“Hey!” Yeji frowned as Soobin blushed again.

“What?” Daehwi smirked, shrugging his shoulders.

“Don’t force him to do things he’s uncomfortable with.” She shook her head.

“It’s good for him. AND for you! BOTH of you!” He retorted, causing her eyes to drop to the floor at his acute stare. “Both of you are only with your group mates. It’s good to have friends our age and outside the groups for a change. Even more so, ‘cause you’re both leaders! You need your own time! We need this time! It’s important!”

The teasing glint in his eyes was replaced with a serious look as he stared them down. And for once, Yeji found herself unable to refute Daehwi.

The remainder of the night seemed to pass by too quickly, both Soobin and Yeji still being too awkward to make any real or meaningful conversation and Daehwi filling in the silence for all three of them with his chattiness. After hitting the third clothing shop, Soobin meekly brought up that he had to go home, bringing their Valentine’s Day hangout (more accurately Daehwi’s shopping spree) to an end. His manager rolled in on the dot at 11 pm and Yeji and Daehwi saw him off.

“Bye Soobin. Answer my texts! Long replies with lots of emojis! Also, we’re hanging out once every two months so put that on your calendar!” Daehwi clasped the boy’s hands, staring up at him with intensity.

“Umm-“ The taller boy blushed and stuttered.

“I mean it!” Daehwi wasn’t deterred, yanking the taller boy down so that Soobin was hutched over and practically eye-level with him. “You need to promise me!”

“I-I… I-“

“Daehwi…” Yeji frowned, placing a hand on Daehwi’s arm. “Stop this. He needs to go.”

“He needs to promise!” Daehwi huffed, but let go of the taller boy.

“We don’t even hang out once every two months. Don’t be unreasonable.” She shook her head.

“… I-I promise.” Soobin’s small voice caused them both to whip their heads to his direction.

“What did you say?” Daehwi’s eyes lit up. “You promise?!”

“… To try.” Soobin smiled shyly. “I-I don’t know if I can promise to meet… But I promise I’ll try… If I’m free that day, I’ll consider it.”

“You’ll TRY?! CONSIDER IT-“

“Thank you, Soobin.” Yeji quickly interrupted Daehwi’s outrage, taking a step towards the tall boy with a smile. “… Trying is fine with me. Bye.”

She waved at him, quickly nodding at him to take off into his van before Daehwi launched into a full out tirade, so the tall boy waved at them before rushing to his manager’s van.

“Trying is NOT fine with me! Choi Soobin! You better show up! I’ll be expecting you!” Daehwi screamed after him indignantly.

“…I think you scared him.” She commented dryly as they watched the van disappear.

“He needs more friends! He’s so nice.” His voice had zero remorse for what he had just did.

“Not everyone wants more friends, Daehwi.” She let out a sigh, turning to face the boy. “And you’ve got to respect that. Not everyone’s like you.”

“I’m not saying he needs to be like me! I’m just saying it’s good for him to socialize instead of just working all the time! And it’s not just him! It’s you too!” His face hardened as he narrowed his eyes at her. “You, especially, Yeji! You’re a workaholic!”

“I don’t want to hear that from someone who holes himself in his studio for days without eating or sleeping until a song is finished.” She stiffened, standing up straighter as she glared at him.

“At least I go out when I’m finished! When I’m done! When are you done?” He challenged, taking an intrusive step forward in her personal space. “When do you finish?”

Those weren’t the last words Daehwi said, but those were the words that remained in her head for the rest of the night; the words that rendered her speechless.

**“When do you finish?”**

As much as Yeji wanted to fight against him, she found herself at a loss for words. Because she knew he was right. Outside her group mates, Yeji didn’t really meet up with other friends, or even have other friends. Daehwi, Chaeyeon, Somi, and anyone else who she trained with together at JYP were the few exceptions of people she would consider friends outside of Itzy, but even then, they only met once or twice a year. She was too shy, but also too busy. Her body and mind were always consumed by work to think about anything else.

**Nope, those were all excuses.**

Sure, she was shy, but as she had grown older and become a leader, she learned the art of socializing and making people feel comfortable. She could step up when she wanted to. Additionally, she was busy, but never too busy to hit the gym or visit to the newest café. She could make time if she wanted to. **She hardly ever wanted to.**

The taxi driver’s gruff voice interrupted her pondering so she quickly thanked him, paid him, and got out of the car in a daze. It was only when he left that she blinked the haziness away, registering her surroundings. Currently, she was in front of the JYP building rather than her dorm. She blinked again and then dread came upon her. She had been so deep in thought that she had given the taxi driver the wrong address.

**Really?**

She threw her head back with a groan, wanting to kick herself at her own stupidity. It’d take 30 minutes to call her manager to come, 15 minutes to call another taxi. Additionally, it was already 11:47 pm, almost midnight! Should she just go home? But then again, she was already here. Maybe she should practice for another hour or two before heading home. That’s exactly what she decided, strutting through the doors of the JYP building.

 **Daehwi was right,** she thought ruefully. **She really was a workaholic. Too consumed by work to end a day with friends; too busy to have a lover on Valentine’s Day; too obsessed to do anything else – someone who was never finished.**

Her heart felt heavy as she made her way down the hall. She was so in her own head that she didn’t realize that her feet had taken her past the wall that led to the Founder’s Hall to the Hwang Spot, walking aimlessly as she moped… Only to stop short at a familiar sight.

The Hwang Spot was already occupied. Sitting on the floor was Hwang Hyunjin, with his back against the wall and legs spread out as he munched on snacks. The sight of him startled her into a small smile. She didn’t even realize she had been staring until he turned his head and their eyes connected.

“Hey.” He nodded at her.

“…Hey?” Yeji blinked, unfreezing to amble over to him. “Everything ok?”

“I should be asking you that.” He snorted. “You look stressed.”

“I do?” She looked at him in a daze.

She really couldn’t tell with fatigue and various emotions jumbled up altogether.

“Choco Boys?” He offered her the bag he had been munching on, a small smile on his face.

“… Thanks.” She joined him on the floor, taking a handful of the sweet crackers from him. “After all these years, you haven’t changed.” She smiled dryly as she plopped one into her mouth.

“Choco Boys is the best.” He lifted his head up arrogantly.

A strange part of her felt comforted as they sat on the floor, backs against the wall and side-by-side, snacking on Choco Boys quietly. Suddenly, she remembered her own dessert that she still had in her purse and took it out.

“… Here.” She opened the box and slipped one into her mouth before handing him the box of chocolates, the chocolates that seemed so heavy in front of Soobin, yet now completely light in the face of Hyunjin.

“More chocolates?” He smirked, but accepted them regardless.

“It’s Valentine’s Day.” She smiled at him tiredly, leaning her head against the wall as her eyes slowly shut.

Eating chocolates with Hyunjin was relaxing her to sleep. Maybe she should just go home. She was so tired and-

“Happy Valentine’s Day.” His voice caused her eyes to open.

She turned to him drowsily, only to see that he wasn’t even looking at her, staring straight ahead at the wall with a blank expression on his face as he mindlessly ate one chocolate after another. Her eyes flickered to the slim watch around his wrist and she reached out to grab his arm and pull it to her eyes so she could see.

**11:59 PM.**

“… Happy Valentine’s Day, Hyunjin.” She let go of his arm, closing her eyes once again as she finished the day.

**She was finished.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been so hot these days I wish it were February again T.T  
> Haha. I hope you have all been staying healthy and safe.
> 
> As always, thank you for your patience with my updates and I hope you enjoyed this chapter.   
> Please feel free to let me know your thoughts on this chapter or on the story thus far ^^
> 
> Disclaimer!   
> I have a soft spot the size of the moon for SOOBIN so I may or may not write him up as the most loveable boy ever ^^  
> Just saying~ :)


	10. Soobinie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi hi! ^^  
> I took a week off from writing to refresh myself and am back to it now!  
> Thank you all for waiting patiently and hope you enjoy this chapter ~

The day after Valentine’s Day, Yeji and her members were informed that they would be off-schedule. COVID-19 had taken root in Daegu, and while Daegu was still far away from Seoul, the numbers were growing. Everything was shut down or in the process of shutting down and their schedules were no exception. Nobody was to leave the house until further notice for the next two weeks. Yeji was ecstatic as was everyone else. Two weeks of staying at home meant two weeks of rest, two weeks where she couldn’t be the workaholic she was. Perhaps it was now a good time to reset her sleep cycle and work patterns. Additionally, she and her members were able to spend quality time together. How much better could life get?

Two weeks passed by in a blur, with all of them sleeping in, catching up on TV dramas, and playing games. The next thing they knew, there was a stay-at-home order and they were off-schedules for a month. It was a miracle! However, she soon discovered that quarantine with Itzy was not exactly what she envisioned it would be. The first two weeks were fine, but entering into week three of isolation with her girls, she noticed that something was off. Her members were acting strange, or stranger than usual.

“I want tteokbokki.”

“We had that 2 days ago! We’re getting pork belly today!”

“Unni!” Four heads turned to Yeji’s direction.

“… Chicken today.”

She ignored the whines and grumbles that followed and ordered chicken.

“Animal crossing!” Yuna whined, her hands tugging on Ryujin’s right arm. “It’s the most popular game right now!”

“Ryujin already promised she’d play Gomoku with me.” Chaeryeong was unrelenting, refusing to let go of Ryujin’s left arm.

“You always play Gomoku alone! Why do you need a gaming buddy now?” The youngest tried pulling Ryujin to her.

“And you can play Animal Crossing with the other Unnis!” The older girl barked back.

“Yeji Unni!” The maknae line whipped their heads at Yeji, pouts on all of their faces.

“Unni! Help!” Yuna cried out.

“Please Unni… Before they pull my arms off.” Ryujin begged.

Although bewildered, Yeji immediately jumped into action to mediate the situation and also save their main dancer from becoming limbless.

Yeji was confused, to say the least. Somehow, a strange sense of competition had permeated into the air of their quiet home life. Everything turned into a competition, from the foods they ate to the games they played to harmless opinions. And the worst part was, no disagreement was ever settled on its own. They dragged her into it, always leaving the final decision up to her.

“Shuyang!” Chaeryung pouted.

“Mingrui!” Ryujin argued back, shaking her head!

Today, they were arguing about which BOYSTORY member was the best. **Oh my gosh. Didn’t they have anything else to talk about?** At this rate, Yeji was about to go insane.

“Shuyang’s so cute! He’s like a dumpling! I just wanna squeeze him!” Chaeryeong’s eyes were dreamy as she squealed softly.

“Mingrui’s cuter! He’s going to be so handsome when he grows up! Right Unni?” Ryujin looked to Yeji with her doe eyes.

“… Zeyu.” Yeji settled on in a flat tone.

“No!” The younger two practically shrieked. “He’s everyone’s favorite! You can’t pick Zeyu!”

Every person, food, game, minuscule unnecessary detail became a competition. By week 4, Yeji was about to drive herself into the wall.

**Was this what it was like when they were home 24/7? With no school or personal schedules that allowed them a bit of breathing room from each other? Because they were all home all the time?**

After they a month of quarantine, they were informed that their vacation would be extended. Everyone was allowed to go home to their families for another two weeks or until they received the all-clear to come back to work and Yeji couldn’t have been more thankful. She was completely fed up with everyone’s shenanigans and decided she needed some time away from her lovely members.

She immediately booked the first train she could for Jeonju, which due to tightened regulations, happened to be Saturday early morning. All her other members were out of their dorm by Tuesday, as their families lived relatively close to Seoul. Yeji enjoyed the next few days of peace with gratitude, relishing in the sweet quiet after dealing with weeks of nonsense. However, by Friday, she found herself missing human interaction so she decided to hit up some friends before leaving for Jeonju. After she finished packing, she quickly sent a message.

_Yeji invited Daehwi, Somi, Chaeyeon to the Chat_

_Yeji named the chatroom “friendz”_

YEJI:

**Hi hi </3 1:03 PM**

**there’s a new bakery that just opened. 1:03 PM**

**I wanted to check it out 1:03 PM**

**join me? 1:03 PM**

**please 1:03 PM**

**^3^ 1:04 PM**

DAEHWI:

**LOL 1:04 PM**

**no Chaeryeong?? 1:04 PM**

**XD 1:04 PM**

YEJI:

**ㅠㅠ** **1:05 PM**

CHAEYEON:

**aww 1:05 PM**

**Our poor leader went through a hard time 1:05 PM**

**with all the kids at home 1:05 PM**

**:( 1:05 PM**

SOMI:

**Wooow! Daebak! 1:06 PM**

**LOL 1:06 PM**

**aww Unni 1:06 PM**

**sorry! 1:06 PM**

YEJI:

**ㅠㅠ** **1:07 PM**

**it wasn’t that bad 1:07 PM**

**none of them are home now 1:07 PM**

**& I’m going back to Jeonju tomorrow 1:07 PM**

**but I thought it’d be nice to meet up before I leave 1:07 PM**

**^^ 1:07 PM**

CHAEYEON:

**aww 1:08 PM**

**I’d love too, but cannot 1:08 PM**

**im banned from going out 1:08 PM**

**ㅠㅠ** **1:08 PM**

**Mom will kill me 1:08 PM**

Yeji smiled wryly.

Chaeryeong had been the first in their group to go home due to her mother’s overprotective nature, and Yeji knew that the older Chae sister was also there because of it. Just because Chaeyeon was older didn’t mean that she was exempt from her mother’s strictness. While Yeji expected it, a wishful part of her had hoped that Chaeyeon would consider breaking the rules and sneaking out to meet her. But then again, Yeji didn’t live with Mrs. Lee so she didn’t have to deal with the consequences that came with breaking Mrs. Lee’s rules. According to the Chae sisters AND Daehwi, Mrs. Lee was not a pretty sight when she was angered. So she resigned herself to the fact that Chaeyeon would probably be unable to hang out with her for a long time.

SOMI:

**I cant do today either 1:09 PM**

**I have a schedule 1:09 PM**

**T.T 1:09 PM**

**sorry Unni! 1:09 PM**

**promise I’ll come next time! 1:09 PM**

DAEHWI:

**u said that last time Jeon Somi! 1:09 PM**

**breakin promises left and right XP 1:09 PM**

SOMI:

**IM SORRY!!!!! 1:10 PM**

**ITS NOT ON PURPOSE!! 1:10 PM**

And just like that, Yeji’s phone blew up with hundreds of texts exchanged between the two. She shut off her phone with a sigh, rubbing her temple tiredly. All she wanted was a café hangout with her friends. **Was that too much to ask?**

She ended up lazing around in her bed as she played on her phone, waiting for the time to pass so she could go back to Jeonju when her phone buzzed. Curious, she stared down and her eyes widened in surprise.

_Daehwi invited Yeji & Soobin to the Chat _

_Daehwi named the chatroom “social club :D”_

DAEHWI:

**yoooooo 1:30 PM**

**sup 1:30 PM**

**say hi guys 1:30 PM**

YEJI:

**hi guys 1:30 PM**

DAEHWI:

**-______________- 1:30 PM**

SOOBIN:

**hi guys 1:31 PM**

Yeji stared at the chat in surprise.

**Soobin?**

To be honest, she had completely forgotten about the other boy. She hadn’t thought of Soobin once since their hangout on Valentine’s Day a little over a month ago. Not that she’d ever say it out loud, his existence had been erased from her mind so she was a bit startled to see his name. Suddenly, her mind flashed back to Daehwi’s last words to him as they ended the night.

_“I don’t care that you’re a homebody. You WILL make time to hang out once every few months!” Daehwi jabbed at the taller boy’s chest as he stood up straight. “You’ll be hanging out with us until you and Yeji can say each other’s names without tripping over your words.”_

A dry smile tugged on her lips. She may have forgotten, but Daehwi obviously didn’t. That boy never forgot ANYTHING when it came to his own plans.

YEJI:

***thumbs up 1:35 PM**

DAEHWI:

**-______________- 1:35 PM**

**AIGHT 1:35 PM**

**IMMA LEAVE THE CHAT! 1:35 PM**

**PEACE! 1:35 PM**

YEJI:

**T.T 1:36 PM**

**Hi Daehwi 1:36 PM**

**Hi Soobin 1:36 PM**

SOOBIN:

**Noooo…. T.T 1:37 PM**

**I’m sorry 1:37 PM**

**Hi Daehwi… Hi Yeji 1:37 PM**

DAEHWI:

**Proactive! 1:38 PM**

**luv it ;) 1:38 PM**

**anyways… 1:38 PM**

**hangout at xxx bakery today 1:38 PM**

**4:30 1:38 PM**

**dun’t be late 1:38 PM**

YEJI:

**lol 1:39 PM**

**ok 1:39 PM**

***thumbs up 1:39 PM**

SOOBIN:

**ummm 1:40 PM**

**… 1:40 PM**

DAEHWI:

**… 1:40 PM**

**choi soobin 1:40 PM**

**YOU DONT GOT A CHOICE! 1:40 PM**

YEJI:

**Daehwi, don’t be rude 1:41 PM**

**-___- 1:41 PM**

DAEHWI:

**with the corona virus happening 1:41 PM**

**there’s literally 1:41 PM**

**ZERO EXCUSES 1:41 PM**

**allowed! 1:41 PM**

**I KNOW for a FACT 1:42 PM**

**u stuck at home 1:42 PM**

**LIKE THE REST OF US 1:42 PM**

**U COMIN! 1:42 PM**

**GOT IT?! 1:42 PM**

**CHOI SOOBIN?? 1:43 PM**

**SOOBINIE? 1:44 PM**

**SOOBIN??!! 1:50 PM**

YEJI:

**I think u scared him 2:01 PM**

**He’s not responding 2:01 PM**

**LOL XD 2:01 PM**

DAEHWI:

**X( 2:02 PM**

YEJI:

**I told u 2:03 PM**

**Don’t pressure him 2:03 PM**

**I’ll meet you there at 4:30 2:03 PM**

DAEHWI:

**T.T 2:04 PM**

**I can’t believe this 2:04 PM**

YEJI:

**Aww daehwiiii~ 2:04 PM**

***hug sticker**

DAEHWI:

**am I that nosy? 2:05 PM**

**overbearing? 2:05 PM**

**annoying? 2:05 PM**

YEJI:

**of course not! 2:05 PM**

DAEHWI:

**am I just too hard to handle?? 2:05 PM**

**does he hate me? 2:05 PM**

**oh my GAWD! 2:06 PM**

**HE HATES ME! 2:06 PM**

**T.T 2:06 PM**

YEJI:

**Daehwi 2:07 PM**

DAEHWI:

**HATES ME! 2:07 PM**

**HE WANTS NOTHING TO DO WITH ME 2:07 PM**

**T.T 2:07 PM**

***CRYYYYYING STICKER 2:08 PM**

SOOBIN:

**Hi, I’m back. I was just letting my members know I’m going out. 2:08 PM**

**I can go and whaatt?? 2:08 PM**

**O.O 2:08 PM**

**Who hates Daehwi??? Why? 2:08 PM**

**Daehwi, don’t listen to haters 2:09 PM**

**You’re amazing! 2:09 PM**

DAEHWI:

**… 2:10 PM**

**choi soobin… 2:10 PM**

Yeji’s phone slipped from her hands as she heaved forward onto her stomach, wheezing. **Oh, dramatic Daehwi.** She loved him, but sometimes, he could be a little too extra.

Thanks to the kakaotalk group chat, she became excited as she got ready to go out. And although she chided Daehwi about treating Soobin more gently, she was looking forward to the in-person interaction between her dramatic friend and the tall newcomer.

 **Poor Soobin.** Yeji broke into a fit of giggles again as she slipped on her mask.

She got to the bakery exactly on time at 4:30 PM and while she didn’t see any sign of the boys anywhere, she didn’t mind. 4:30 was kind of an ambiguous time – too late to be considered an afternoon snack and too early to be labeled dinner. It was one of those times where they could decide whether they wanted to meet for a quick hour or hang out for the rest of the night.

As she patiently waited outside, the realization that she was out in the open so freely dawned on her. Thanks to COVID-19, it was mandated by law for everyone to wear masks, which meant that everyone’s identity was anonymous. For the first time in a year, Yeji was outside without a single worry in her cells about getting harassed. She was completely fascinated as she observed different people passing by her, with none of them batting an eye at her. Though it was stifling, it was also a breath of fresh air – to be out in the open and hanging out with friends like a normal human being. She was so into her surroundings that she almost missed a tall boy loitering around the bakery only a few feet from her. She blinked in confusion as he shifted from left-to-right and fidgeted from looking at his phone to looking up. Their eyes met and she froze – dark brown.

“… Soo…bin…?” She asked softly, taking a step towards him.

“… Hi… Yeji.”

It was funny. Even though they were both wearing masks, Yeji was positive he was blushing, just like she was.

“… I’m sorry I’m late.” His voice was quiet as he blinked rapidly.

She looked down at her phone. **4:35 PM**

“It’s fine.” She dismissed his apology with a wave of her hand. “… The REAL latecomer hasn’t even arrived yet.”

Her dry voice caused him to let out a choked laugh.

“O-oh… Is he usually-”

“Always.” She corrected, looking at him with a wry smile, only to realize he couldn’t see it. “He’s always late.”

YEJI:

**We’re here 4:36 PM**

**U on ur way?? 4:36 PM**

As she messaged him, she silently prayed that Daehwi would be less late today. It had only been a minute since she and Soobin greeted each other and she was already feeling awkward. After two more long suffocating minutes of silence, she turned to Soobin, who was continuing to switch nervous glances between his phone and Yeji.

“Do you want to wait for him outside? Or should we go in first?”

“… I-I don’t m-mind waiting outside…”

“Ok...”

Two more minutes of awkward silence and she glared down at her phone. **Where on earth was Daehwi? Why wasn’t he answering?**

YEJI:

**Daehwi??? 4:40 PM**

**Daehwi!!! 4:40 PM**

**T.T 4:41 PM**

After a few more minutes, her phone finally vibrated. She opened her text message desperately and almost dropped her phone at what she read.

DAEHWI:

**sorry 4:47 PM**

**something came up 4:47 PM**

**> o< 4:47 PM**

**go without me 4:48 PM**

**see u next time 4:48 PM**

**Next time?** There wouldn’t be a next time, because Yeji was going to **kill** Daehwi the next time she saw him. She reeled.

How could he leave her and Soobin alone? Not one, but TWO introverts who had only met once? **What the heck was she supposed to do?**

“I-is he ok?” Soobin asked timidly.

“… He’s not coming.” She was still in shock, her eyes fixated on Daehwi’s messages.

“… Oh.”

Against her better judgment, she turned to glance at him and regretted it immediately. Soobin looked like he was in complete turmoil, with big eyes full-blown with fear and bright red ears of embarrassment. Additionally, he was fidgeting a lot, to the point that he was visibly shaking. She might as well have said she killed his dog with the reaction he was pulling. And she thought SHE felt uncomfortable.

She tore her eyes away from him to look back at her phone, desperately praying that this was some sick prank Daehwi was playing on the both of them, that her most-talkative friend would jump out of the shadows yelling ‘gotcha’. Sadly, it was no prank and Daehwi wasn’t coming, leaving only Soobin and Yeji alone.

**What to do…**

For a minute, she silently contemplated her options, doing her best to ignore the fidgeting boy. Sucking in a deep breath, she made her decision, steeling herself to look straight at the boy beside her.

“Soobin,” She started tentatively, a slight blush on her cheeks when he turned back to look at her in a daze.

“… Yes?” His big eyes were still darting around as he played with his fingers.

**Oh gosh. He was so awkward, but so cute.**

“…Do you still wanna go?”

She fought against her natural desire to run away, ignoring her inner voice that screamed that this was a terrible idea. To be honest, she didn’t know what she was doing. She didn’t even know where this boldness was coming from, but she didn’t care. As a matter of fact, she was determined. Like Daehwi had said less than a month ago, she needed this. She needed a break and other friends.

“Um…”

His hesitation caused her smile to waver, but she kept her voice even when she spoke the next words.

“I’ve been wanting to go for a long time and I… I don’t mind that Daehwi’s not here. I still wanna go… Will you go with me?”

He was quiet, shuffling as he hesitated again.

“… As a friend.” She took a step towards him, locking her eyes unto his. “I’m asking you to come with me as a friend, Soobin… Please?”

They were already at the bakery. Shoot – if he felt so uncomfortable with her that he wanted to go home then so be it. Quarantine was suggested, but it wasn’t mandatory. She’d go inside and pick out all the sweet breads she wanted. But still, it’d be really nice to hang out with somebody today. So despite her awkwardness, she channeled every ounce of charm in her bones through her eyes, pleading as she peered at him with soft, kitty eyes.

**Please…**

“Wow! They have sweet bread with cream?” Soobin’s voice was two keys higher than its usual tone, bubbling with effervescence. “Usually, they run out.”

“They’re fresh too.” Even through the mask, it was apparent that the owner was smiling as Soobin’s eyes sparkled, crinkling into crescent moons.

“And warm? Amazing!” The tall boy cheered.

Yeji giggled at the sight of her new friend hopping around excitedly over bread.

 **Cute.** Soobin was really cute and endearing. Like Felix. Like Ryujin.

“You really love bread, don’t you?” She smiled, watching as his face lit up over some fruit tarts.

“I do! I really do!” He wasn’t even looking at her, too busy filling up his tray with different sweet treats eagerly.

“… Can you even finish all of that?” She asked, breaking the awkward silence that fell upon them as they exited the bakery.

“Y-yes! Yes, I can…” His voice had returned to its usual quiet and deep tone.

Or maybe it wasn’t usually like that at all. Maybe that voice was only used with Yeji or other people he was awkward with. Either way, his excitement was no longer visible and she could tell by the way his eyes were darting around that he was nervous again.

But strangely, she was not – **not anymore**.

She walked briskly along the sidewalk, making sure to check behind her every so often to make sure he was still following her. After about a five minutes walk, they were at a small and empty park, secluded from people’s prying eyes and walking footsteps on the main street. She quickly sat down on a bench and nodded at him to do the same. She watched as he hesitated for a few seconds before carefully coming to sit next her, leaving enough space in-between them for two people. Two more minutes of quiet passed before she spoke again.

“… I’m tired.” She didn’t mean to say it. The words just came out.

“Me too.”

His quick response startled her into a giggle.

“You don’t like going out much, do you?” She turned to face him, speaking as kindly as she could.

“No… Home is the best place.” He bowed his head sheepishly.

“And where is home?” She looked at him with genuine interest.

“… Ansan.”

“You’re not too far from home.” She said wistfully, slightly envious that his family only lived a city away.

“What about you?”

“Jeonju.”

She let out another giggle at his gasp.

“… That’s too far.” His voice sounded breathless.

“I know…” She took off her cap, fixing her hair before placing it back on her head. “… I know.” She repeated in a softer tone.

“… Do you miss it?”

“All the time.” She shivered as an icy wind blew through them, glancing down at her phone to check the time.

**5:30 PM. Dinner time.**

She found herself looking up to the sky. It was such a beautiful day, with clear blue skies and white clouds that looked like cotton candy. It was still bright too, as the sun didn’t set until after 6:30 PM. But it was also cold, with the invisible spring winds sending chills throughout her body, blowing through them as if to urge them inside. And Yeji didn’t know what the heck she was doing.

 **What was she doing?** Even if it wasn’t winter, it was still freezing outside and yet here she was, sitting at a park bench, alone with a boy she wasn’t even friends with, trying to make small talk. **What was she doing? What were they doing?**

A ruffling sound caused her to tear her eyes away from the sky to look to her right. Soobin had removed his mask and started eating, cheeks stuffed like a chipmunk. He purposely kept his eyes averted away from her, gazing at the ground, so she used that opportunity to observe. His skin was pale, as white as her favorite rice cakes, and even without makeup, its surface was smooth, without a pimple in sight. His heart-shaped lips protruded into a pout and his nose crinkled as he ate, causing him to look like a soft bunny. Also, while his chewing was loud enough for the wind to carry it miles away, she was not bothered at the very least by it. He shot her a furtive glance and she felt her heart stop for a split-second. Even now, his eyes were still sparkling.

Quickly, she pulled down her own mask, joining him in eating a pastry. She stared straight ahead at the empty playground in front of them as she fought to control the blush on her cheeks. He had caught her staring at him. They were already awkward, what if she just made things worse? What if she made him uncomfortable? Feeling slightly guilty about ogling him in broad daylight, she turned to glance at him only to blink in surprise to see him already looking at her. Their eyes met and the next thing she knew, she was laughing – they both were, laughing at their mutual shyness and the ridiculousness of it all.

This time, he kept his eyes on hers. His brown eyes were so dark, they almost appeared black as if completely dilated. She watched as those sparkling eyes almost disappeared as he giggled, a hand covering his mouth sheepishly. She noticed he did that a lot – he covered his mouth whenever he laughed shyly. But she also noticed other things.

She was conscious of how the prominent dimples on his cheeks reminded her of dents in sweet cream, resisting the urge to poke them. She was also aware of how the sound of his laughter was like music to her ears, causing her to melt inside. Suddenly, she remembered Daehwi’s words on Valentine’s Day.

_“You would like him.”_

**Was there anyone who could hate him?** It wasn’t fair for Daehwi to make that judgment when Yeji was certain that there was no boy on earth that was as lovely as Choi Soobin.

“Why are you laughing?” She teased, her smile widening as he laughed again.

“You’re laughing too…”

“No, I’m not.” She shook her head playfully. “I’m humming.”

She loved the sound of his bright laughter at that.

“H-humming?” He asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Humming!” She insisted, before breaking into an actual hum of TomorrowxTogether’s Run Away.

As she sang, she carefully scooted closer to him on the bench, leaving enough room for one person to fit between them rather than two. She hoped she wasn’t being creepy or scaring him away. To her surprise, he joined her as she hummed the pre-chorus, humming along with her as he also slowly, but surely shifted closer to her.

“…I’m humming too. Humming.” He smiled shyly again.

They finished their desserts, talking carefully and humming some more, with no extra spaces in-between them.

This time, Yeji didn’t forget Soobin.

She went home to Jeonju and spent time with her family, enjoying her rest. But whenever she ate toast, the thought of a tall boy with sparkling eyes and a soft smile would fleetingly pass her mind. After a week passed by, she found herself mustering the courage to send a picture in the group chat.

_“social club :D” Chatroom_

YEJI:

***picture 4:58 PM**

DAEHWI:

**??? 5:15 PM**

**O.o 5:15 PM**

SOOBIN:

**Ooh woooww! 5:17 PM**

**Choco pies?? 5:17 PM**

YEJI:

***thumbs up 5:18 PM**

DAEHWI:

**Jeonju’s famous choco pies… 5:19 PM**

**r u braggin? 5:19 PM**

**Or r u sharin? 5:19 PM**

**> o< 5:20 PM**

YEJI:

**:) 5:20 PM**

**both 5:20 PM**

**I’ll bring some back for you guys 5:20 PM**

SOOBIN:

**Yay!! 5:21 PM**

**Thank you 5:21 PM**

DAEHWI:

**< /3 5:22 PM**

**ur the best 5:22 PM**

**soobinie, send her a heart!!!! 5:23 PM**

SOOBIN:

**< /3 5:25 PM**

***shy emoji 5:25 PM**

Even though Daehwi sent the exact same sticker, Yeji’s eyes remained over the heart that Soobin sent. Unconsciously, a smile tugged on the corners of her lips as she gazed down at the message over and over again.

“You look happy,” Her mother teased. “Is it a boy?”

“Mom!” Yeji blushed, putting her phone away. “…It’s a friend.”

They started contacting each other more often. Not every day because they didn’t have much to talk about due to quarantine, but Yeji made it a habit to send him a quick message once every few days. They quickly found out the biggest thing they had in common was their love for animals, especially cute, furry ones. Currently, their latest mutual animal obsession was raccoons.

SOOBIN:

**awwww!! 1:57 AM**

**raccoons are so cute! ^3^ 1:57 AM**

**theyre super smart 2 1:58 AM**

YEJI:

**they r cute! 1:58 AM**

**They’re super cheeky 2! Look! 1:59 AM**

***raccoon_gif 1:59 AM**

SOOBIN:

**awww!! 2:00 AM**

**^3^ 2:01 AM**

Yeji smiled, shutting off her phone for the night. As she lay in bed, she marveled at how they had become so close during the past few months. Originally, they would message each other in the group chat with Daehwi. But after Daehwi made it clear that he did NOT appreciate the hundreds of videos of raccoons they would upload, they created their own separate chat. Even after she returned from Jeonju and was gradually settling to her normal Itzy schedule of dance, eat, and sleep, she always found time to send him a quick message. While their schedules didn’t always match up, Soobin would always, _always_ find time to message her back.

They became so close that she didn’t even think twice about shooting him a text one random night asking if he would be willing to get ice cream with her. To her delight, he promptly responded and showed up to the ice cream parlor just a little past midnight.

The funny thing was, he wasn’t even her first choice. She had asked her members if they were up for hanging out with her. But Yuna and Lia were watching a movie in their room, Chaeryeong had turned in early for the night, and Ryujin was sneaking out a date with her boyfriend. Yeji wondered if this was what Yuna meant when she whined that she was lonely a few months ago because now, Yeji felt a little lonely.

She even messaged Hyunjin before contacting Soobin, but now that their Hwang Scheme was completed, it was obvious that she was the least of his priorities. That punk had turned her down twice already when she asked whether he’d like to grab snacks from the convenience store with her. **TWICE!** He said no to her, when he had no qualms about dragging her with him whenever he had to run an errand. **That jerk!**

However, she couldn’t be too annoyed with him because she knew he was busy. Stray Kids comeback was in June and she knew he was working hard. Also, it wasn’t like he cut off all contact with her completely. They still messaged each other once every two-to-three weeks and he’d update her with selfies of what he ate or who he was hanging out with that day. She felt a little guilty contacting him during his hectic schedule so she left him alone for the most part.

To be honest, Soobin was busy with comeback promotions as well, already having come out with “Can’t You See Me”. While delighted that he showed up to meet her, there was a part of her that felt extremely apologetic when she noticed how much weight he had lost. However, he assured her that he was fine.

“Beomgyu and Yeonjunie Hyung met up with their friends yesterday… I’m fine.” He nodded drowsily as he shoved another spoonful of chocolate ice cream into his mouth.

He didn’t look fine. While quarantine did many of them miracles, it certainly didn’t help Soobin. The purple bags under his eyes appeared darker than the last time they had met in person, and his skin was pale, so pale. Additionally, he dragged his feet as he walked and kept holding his lower back, as if he was in subtle pain. She felt an ache in her heart as she pursed her lips sympathetically.

“Thank you… Soobinie.” She slightly scooted closer to him on the bench, smiling as his eyes curved into crescent moons as he smiled back shyly.

That was also a new development in their friendship. She started called him ‘Soobinie’, watching with a mixture of fascination and amusement at his reaction: He would blush and then look around nervously. While she typically didn’t give boys the “–ie” term of endearment, Soobinie was the exception – because the boy was just too cute and soft. Also, he was eating ice cream with her at 12:25 in the morning as the cool spring winds blew all around them. He deserved to be given all the “-ie” suffixes to his name forever.

“By the way…” She rummaged through her bag as he looked at her blankly, exhaustion overtaking his features. “Sign please!” She held out a purple album cover with a beaming smile.

That woke up him, his eyes widening in shock.

“You… You bought it?” He slowly took it from her.

“Of course I bought it! You gotta sign it for me.” She handed him a sharpie.

“I was- shoot! I should have set one aside for you and Daehwi! That way I could have had all the members sign it… Darn.” He deflated, looking at her with apologetic eyes, which only caused him to look even more like a bunny.

 **Shoot? Darn?** Could Choi Soobin get any cuter?

“It’s ok, Soobinie.” She almost lost her spoon as they were hit with another gust of wind.

Seriously, it was a terrible night to eat ice cream. But even with the cool winds, runny nose, and tremble in her hands, Yeji didn’t regret it. Not one bit. So she didn’t give a second thought to the words she was about to say next.

“I only need my favorite member’s signature.” She winked at him, boldness surging through her veins.

His eyes practically popped out of their sockets and a delicate pink spread across his cheeks and ears. She bit down on her spoon to stifle a giggle at the pretty sight of him and respectfully, refocused her eyes on the ice cream to save him from any further embarrassment.

“… H-here.” He started handing back the album when she shoved it back into his arms.

“Just a signature? You’re not gonna write a note?” She shot him her sad kitty eyes, biting her lip to prevent it from curving up into a teasing smirk.

“Y-you want me to?” He was flustered again.

“Of course I do!” She sat up straighter, smiling prettily at him. “Write me something nice!”

When he hesitated, she averted her eyes.

“I won’t look.” She turned away from him, pulling her knees into her chest as she hugged herself.

“You can’t look.” His childish voice caused her to chuckle.

“I won’t look!” She repeated, choosing to look up at the night sky instead as she took a few more bites of her ice cream.

The moon was beautiful that night, so big and close to the earth, as if it wanted to light the night just for her and Soobinie to enjoy their ice cream.

“Thank you for eating ice cream with me.” She smiled sweetly at him. “… And for waiting for my ride with me… And for signing the album. Soobinie’s the best!”

He chuckled embarrassedly, looking away from her.

“N-no problem. It’s no problem at all.” He mumbled with a bashful smile.

Yeji fought back the urge to pinch those blushing cheeks.

“You don’t need to be humble. All my other friends turned me down.” She pouted. “You’re seriously the only one I can count on.” She looked down at the album in her hands with a smile. “I mean-“

“Don’t!” He closed the album before she could turn the page.

She looked up at him in surprise. He held the album shut in a tight grip, but his hands were so big, they slightly overlapped her own. His fingers were like ice and his eyes were wide with timidity, and at that, she felt her heart slow into a painful thump in her chest.

“D-don’t look at it yet.” He stuttered, pressing down with his fingers on top of hers. “D-don’t look… Not yet.”

Her heartbeat immediately returned to normal and she felt her lips curve up into a grin.

“… So not until I get home?” She asked amusedly, a twinkle in her eyes at his adorable nervousness.

“N-not until you get home.” He nodded, a small smile tugging on his own lips.

“…Fine.” She nodded, raising her eyebrows at his hands over hers.

This time, she didn’t even try to hide the laugh that echoed from her lips as he profusely apologized, pouted in confusion, and then whined at how she was making fun of him – in that exact order.

True to her word, she patiently waited until she got home. And it was only when she was certain that Ryujin was asleep through the deep breathing she heard across the room that she quietly pulled the purple album cover out. She slowly turned to the page that Soobin signed and instantly, a smile warmed on her lips as she stared at his message written in cute scrawls under the huge signature.

SOOBIN (signature)

From your favorite member

– Soobinie :)

She stifled a squeal, hugging the album to her heart tightly. At this rate, Yeji might as well have diabetes due to all the sweetness that came with Choi Soobin.

**Cute! How could anyone be so cute?!**

She snapped a picture of the page and sent him a message.

YEJI:

**thanks for the message 2:03 AM**

**I’m such a lucky fan! 2:03 AM**

**good night Soobinie 2:04 AM**

**^^ 2:04 AM**

The next morning, she woke up to his reply. But rather than sending her a message, he sent her a picture.

soobinie:

**_*Picture_ 7:43 AM**

YEJI:

**?? O.O 9:01 AM**

**good morning? 9:01 AM**

soobinie:

**I got an album signed by all the members 9:03 AM**

**(good morning!) 9:03 AM**

**I’ll give it to u next time 9:03 AM**

YEJI:

**… 9:04 AM**

soobinie:

**? 9:04 AM**

**dun’t want it? 9:04 AM**

**O.o 9:04 AM**

YEJI:

**write the same message 9:05 AM**

**then I’ll accept it 9:05 AM**

***Thumbs up 9:05 AM**

soobinie:

**T.T 9:07 AM**

**I didn’t know what to write T.T 9:07 AM**

**I’m not good at these type of things 9:07 AM**

YEJI:

**u dun’t need to change anything! 9:08 AM**

**I just want the same message. 9:08 AM**

**I like it 9:08 AM**

**:) 9:08 AM**

soobinie:

**fine fine 9:09 AM**

**:( 9:09 AM**

YEJI:

**:) 9:09 AM**

**have a good day, Soobinie 9:09 AM**

soobinie:

**u too 9:10 AM**

**Yejjiing. 9:10 AM**

Her phone slipped out of her hand to land on her pillow as laughter trailed out of her mouth.

YEJI:

**LOL 9:11 AM**

**Yejjiing??? XD 9:11 AM**

soobinie:

**do you like it? 9:12 AM**

**^^? 9:12 AM**

*YEJI changed her username to *yejjiing

yejjiing:

**cute. ur so cute. 9:14 AM**

soobinie:

**No, I’m not! 9:15 AM**

**no! 9:15 AM**

**DX 9:15 AM**

yejjiing:

**Ddoobinnie is the cutest! 9:16 AM**

**I like it :)** **9:16 AM**

Needless to say, that put Yeji in a _wonderful_ mood for the rest of the week.

“ _Can’t you see me?_ ” She hummed to herself as she walked back to the dorm.

A week after her hangout with Soobin, Yeji was granted a few more days off. While the corona virus situation was improving in South Korea, things were still up in the air so they were all ordered to rest. While thankful for the prolonged rest, the workaholic in her screamed to get back to the practice rooms to dance her heart out. After receiving her 2nd warning about going into the practice rooms without permission, Yeji decided that the best way to escape cabin fever was through exercise or errands. Today was one of those days that she had decided to take a breather by stopping by her favorite bakery to pick up egg tarts. She resisted the temptation to eat one, deciding to hold off until she got home so that she could enjoy them together with her girls.

“ _Come and feel me, feel me... Oh, can’t you see-_ ”

“Hey.”

She jumped up with a scream, flailing her arms dangerously.

“Even after five years, you’re still trying to break my nose.”

“You mean even after five years, you’re still sneaking up on me when I’ve told you a million times not to do so!” Despite herself, she couldn’t help but laugh.

“That happy to see me?”

Even with a mask on, she could hear the smugness in his voice.

“Social distancing, Hwang Hyunjin.” She pretended to shove him away from her as he snorted.

“A little too late for that Hwang Yeji.” He came even closer to her to peer into her bag. “Egg tarts?”

“Yep! For the girls! Yuna and Chaeryeong’s been talking about them. Want one?”

“Not a fan.” He shook his head, his eyes squinted with disdain as Yeji let out a sigh.

 **Of course.** **Spoiled and picky prince.**

“What are you doing here?” She asked as they walked along the sidewalk.

“I want fish buns.”

The way he spoke made her look at him in confusion.

“Huh?”

“I want fish buns.” He repeated, with a little more assertion this time.

“… Ok?”

“Yeah.”

“Great.”

“Yep.”

And then it dawned on Yeji. The way Hyunjin kept inching closer to her space as they walked as well as the glint in his eyes gave it away.

“No.”

“Yeji-“

“No Hyunjin.” She picked up her feet, trying to out-walk him but he easily matched her pace.

“Why not?” His voice was laced with arrogance and it made her want to kick him in the shins.

“You turned me down last week!” She whirled her head to shoot him a glare with her eyes.

“I was at practice.”

“You turned me down two other times besides that!”

“Didn’t realize you were keeping count, Hwang Yeji.”

She let out a groan at his soft chuckle.

“Still… it’s a no! I’m not going to run errands with you!”

“It’s not an errand.”

“Or punishment! Or whatever! I’m not-“

“The quicker we go, the quicker we come back.” His hand locked on her wrist and immediately, he began leading her down a detour.

“Hyunji-“

“Shhhh. You don’t want everyone to find out who we are, do you? Let’s just go quietly.” He snickered, holding her in an unbreakable grip so she couldn’t escape.

“Useless Jerk!” She glared as she followed him unwillingly.

“I know.”

“Rotten prince!” She spat out.

“I know.” He smirked.

“Seriously Hyunjin!” She let out a sigh. “Why do I have to be your errand buddy?”

“I told you it’s not an errand.”

“Then what is it?!” She hissed, pulling back.

Although she couldn’t free her hand from his iron grasp, he paused, turning to lock gazes with her.

“It’s…” He paused, causing her to raise an eyebrow at him. “… It’s a date.”

**A what?!**

She was rendered speechless at the absolute RIDICULOUS answer he gave, and he used it to his advantage to continuously drag her alongside him.

 **Date, her butt!** Hyunjin was becoming more and more ridiculous by the day! At the rate he was going, Yeji might be stuck following the whims of a rotten, spoiled prince forever.

She let out a groan as he laughed.

“Oh come on… Don’t be such a killjoy.”

“We’re not even supposed to be out together Hyunjin!” She let out an exasperated sigh. “You want to be on the front cover of Dispatch as the two idol idiots known for breaking quarantine?”

Technically, she had been violating quarantine rules when she went out to eat with Soobin, but he didn’t need to know that. Also that was during the night and they ate outside as freezing as it was, so Yeji was sure the cruel winds blew away the chances of ANY virus coming upon them.

“The stall is literally down the street.” He snorted.

“I don’t even go run errands with my members! Why do you think I’m alone today? We’re always ordering things from home.”

“Relax. It’s gonna take less than 10 minutes to grab and go. Besides… Don’t you have cabin fever?”

“When I’m with you, cabin fever is the least of my worries.” She muttered, but grudgingly stopped struggling the rest of the way.

Oddly enough, Hyunjin didn’t let go of her wrist.

“Oh, isn’t it our lovely couple?” The grandma at the fish bun stall greeted in a cheerful tone. “How is it being home together?”

Yeji elbowed Hyunjin as he let out a snort.

“We don’t live together, Auntie.” She said in such an uncomfortable tone that it caused him to snicker again.

“We’re not married.” He chuckled.

“Well, why didn’t you say anything dearies?” The grandma complained. “You misled me!”

She smiled apologetically, only to remember that she was wearing a mask so the grandma couldn’t see her facial expression.

“… I’m s-sorry.” She stuttered, causing him to let out a cough to cover his snickers.

She glared at him and half-heartedly attempted to kick him in the knee, which he easily avoided.

“… That’s a good thing.”

Even though Yeji could only see the grandma’s eyes through the mask, she could see how they were soft with kindness.

“It’s a good thing, sweet. You shouldn’t live together if you’re not married… It’s wonderful to see young people doing love the right way.”

Yeji took a step back, blood rushing to her cheeks. It seemed as if the food stall grandma was still misunderstanding something. But before she could clarify the situation, she asked another question.

“So… How long have you been together?”

“Five years.” Hyunjin was on the verge of laughter and Yeji was on the verge of committing first-degree murder.

She shot him a dirty look, but his eyes crinkled in amusement.

“Five years! That’s a long time… Why haven’t you proposed young man?”

“Because she won’t let me.” He was definitely laughing now.

**Yeji was going to kill him.**

“Let go,” She hissed, trying to pull her wrist away, but he kept his fingers on her, refusing to let go.

“My Baby’s shy.” He cooed with a mischievous glint in his eyes, his fingers sliding down to clasp her hand.

“Hyun-“

“But I always tell her, I’m ready when she is. I’ll do whatever she asks.”

Yeji flinched as the grandma let out what was supposed to be a screech of joy.

“How beautiful! Wonderful! Young lady, don’t hesitate for too long!”

“But-“ She couldn’t even speak with the grandma talking excitedly over her.

“This is the perfect age to be in love! You’re in your prime! Don’t waste it!”

“… Don’t waste it, eh?” Hyunjin muttered thoughtfully.

Yeji glared and roughly threw his hand off her, finally freeing herself from his grip.

“It’s not a waste.” She said in a low voice so only he could hear. “We’re barely 20. And we’re doing what we enjoy.”

“Hmm…” He hummed, his eyes fixated on the fish buns and not at all offended that she took her hand away. “I wonder...”

“… Wonder what?” She looked at him bewildered.

But before he could answer, an unfamiliar voice interrupted them.

“Hyung!”

They both whirled around and were suddenly face-to-face with two boys. Both boys were wearing masks, but it only took Yeji five seconds to realize who the tall, blond one was. It was funny. Even with a mask on, she could recognize him anywhere; could identify those sharp eyes in a heartbeat – **Choi Yeonjun.**

“Hey Hyung.” The shorter boy standing next to Yeonjun took a step forward, his eyes fixed on Hyunjin. “How are you?”

“Beomgyu?” Hyunjin sounded surprised but also took a step forward to greet the younger boy. “What are you doing here?”

“Same as you… To get fish buns.” The younger boy let out a nervous giggle. “I didn’t expect to see you here.”

“You mean considering how we saw each other three days ago?” Hyunjin’s surprise quickly melted into a teasing voice, causing the other boy to laugh again.

It was when Yeonjun looked away that Yeji realized she had been staring. She immediately turned to the side, doing her best to hide her embarrassment as Yeonjun focused on Hyunjin.

“’Sup Hyunjin.” Yeonjun also took a step forward.

“Hyung,” Hyunjin accepted his handshake. “You guys came alone?”

“No. We’re all here together.”

At that, Yeji looked up. She fixed her gaze behind them and sure enough, she could see three other boys trailing down the path slowly to near the fish bun stall. Her eyes immediately locked upon the tallest one, who still covered his mouth with his hand while he was laughing even though he had a mask on his face. She felt her heart melt at the sight and her eyes softened. It was-

“…Soobinie.”

**It was Soobinie.**


	11. Drama

“… Soobinie.”

Yeji was so pleased to see him that she didn’t realize she had voiced her thought out loud, unaware of how all the boys’ eyes flickered at that. Her complete attention honed in on Soobin and without another thought, she went over to meet him, treading the ground gracefully with light footsteps. He was so engaged in his conversations with the two other boys that he didn’t notice her until she was standing right in front of him. She gazed up at him boldly as his eyes widened in bewilderment, twitched in slight fear, and then grew wide again in recognition. She smiled with her eyes, quiet affection simmering inside of her as his ears reddened.

“Hi.” She said softly, a quiet wave of shyness coming over her.

“H-hi… hi.” His voice faltered, causing her to stifle a laugh at his cuteness.

Her eyes shifted to his other two members who were staring at them in confusion. She slightly nodded, bowing respectfully.

“Hello.” She said formally and they returned her bow carefully, caution evident in their eyes.

“How are you today?” She turned her attention back to Soobin.

“G-good… Th-thank you.” He stuttered.

 **Oh my gosh.** He was stuttering and Yeji was endeared. **He was so cute.**

She could feel his band mates’ questioning glances that kept switching between her and Soobin, but she remained still, standing tall as she kept her eyes on her soft friend.

While she could hardly care less about their nosiness, he seemed distressed, shifting back-and-forth from one foot to the other. Had it been anyone else, Yeji would have gotten the hint and backed off, giving him space. However, the devious side of her found his nervousness so adorable that she couldn’t help but want to tease him (as usual). It was only a matter of time before his bandmates found out they were friends anyways. But feeling a little sorry for his obvious discomfort, she reached into her bag.

“… Egg tart?” She held out the box of fresh egg tarts.

His eyes just about doubled in size and she giggled, her eyes crinkling up at him.

“They’re freshly baked. I just got them. Egg tart?” She held the box closer to him and then turned to face his other members. “… Would you like an egg tart?”

They hesitated, but she noticed that the boy who was just as tall as Soobin had a wistful look in his eyes so she smiled again.

“… You must be Huening Kai.” She held back a coo as his eyes widened in surprise. “I heard from Soobinie you like egg tarts… Please try one. They’re really good.”

“I’m ok…” He tried to decline politely although his hand hovered over the box.

**Were all the members of TomorrowxTogether this cute?**

She sighed and pulled down her mask, revealing who she was once and for all. She ignored the squeak of disbelief that came out of Huening Kai as she reached for an egg tart and placed it in her mouth. She chewed thoughtfully, smiling at them as she savored its flavor.

“… They’re really good.” She said, licking a crumb off the corner of her lips. “Please eat.”

Her smile grew wider as Soobin reluctantly reached out his hand to take an egg tart from the box, with Huening Kai and the other member following suit.

“… Ok.” As always, he gave in.

“… Th-thank you.” The younger boys murmured, causing her to hum.

The two younger boys turned their faces to the side as they pulled down their masks to eat the pastry, keeping their eyes away from her. But Soobin kept his face towards her, yanking down his mask to reveal his bare face. She grinned as he smiled sheepishly at her before shoving the whole pastry into his mouth as one bite. She watched how his eyes lit up in wonder at the taste.

“This is so good!” A whine came from Huening Kai’s mouth.

“Isn’t it?” She smiled fondly at the youngest boy who relished the taste.

“This is the best egg tart I’ve ever eaten!” He practically cried out, all signs of shyness disappearing in the face of his favorite food.

“Eat more.” She held out the box to him and he scampered to grab another one.

“Thank you!” He said happily, quickly shoving another one into his mouth causing her to chuckle.

“Kai-yah! Enough. I’ll buy you a box later.” Soobin mildly scolded, although Yeji could see the genuine fondness in his eyes.

“…No matter how I see it,” She spoke aloud, keeping her eyes fixed on Soobin as all three boys turned to face her. “…I think you’re the gum, not him.”

She smirked as Soobin’s face became as red as a ripened tomato.

“No. No. He’s my gum.” He tried to correct, only for her to shake her head.

“It’s totally you.” She averted her gaze from Soobin to Huening, who appeared visibly startled.

“We’ve only hung out a handful of times and he always brings your name up.” She leaned towards the youngest boy, bringing her hand up to her lips to half-whisper as if they were sharing a secret.

“Wow Hyung.” The shortest member of the trio, whom Yeji concluded was Taehyun, snorted. “You’re that obvious.”

“I’m telling you that’s not-“

“Aww! Soobinie Hyung loves me!” Kai cheered, wrapping his arms around the rabbit-boy’s waist as he rubbed his belly.

“You love me more!” He barked back embarrassedly, before turning back to Yeji. “He’s always looking for me and rubbing my stomach like this! He’s the gum!”

“Uh-huh.” She smiled, obviously not convinced.

“It’s true!”

“No, Soobinie Hyung is the one who’s always looking for me.” Huening corrected.

“… I can see that.” She smiled softly.

Soobin sucked in a deep breath, a cute pout on his lips as Huening Kai let out a laugh that sounded like a dolphin screech.

**No wonder all her Itzy members were stans of TomorrowxTogether.**

Their energy was contagious and delightful. It had been less than ten minutes and her favorite member title was on the verge of switching from Soobin to Huening Kai. In fact, she didn’t even hesitate in handing the open box of tarts to the latter.

“You can eat it all. Share with your other bandmates too. I have another box.” She gestured to her bag.

“A-are you sure?” Huening Kai looked at her with uncertainty although his hands were already taking it from her.

“What’s the point of asking-“ Taehyun snorted.

“-if you’re just gonna take it?” Soobin chided.

Yeji made eye-contact with the youngest member and both of them immediately burst into laughter. She could see Soobin and Taehyun exchanging bewildered glances, which only caused their laughter to become louder.

“Just… Just take it.” She nodded at the youngest member, giggles still escaping her lips. “Share it with your group.”

“I will! Thank you!” He beamed, causing her to smile at him kindly.

“Thank you.” Taehyun stood besides the taller maknae. “… Let’s go Kai-yah.” He put his mask back on before adorably linking arms with Huening Kai and dragging him down the road.

“Yeonjunie Hyung! Beomgyu Hyung! You gotta try this!” Kai called cheerfully, clutching to the box of tarts with his hands.

Yeji felt a rush of warmth flood into her heart as she watched the younger two walk away to join the other members, leaving her alone with Soobin.

“… Cute.”

“Hm?”

“They’re so cute… Just like you.” She turned to him, giving him her eye-smile. “Especially when they link arms! They’re the maknaes right?”

“Huh? Oh... Yeah… Taehyunie especially loves to link arms.”

“He’s not short, but compared to the rest of you, he looks really small. It’s cute.”

“Don’t tell him that.” Soobin chuckled. “He’ll get offended.”

“He’s still in high school right? He has time!” She laughed with him. “He’ll keep growing... But wow… Huening Kai huh?” She smiled slyly at him, causing him to let out a nervous laugh.

“Y-yeah?”

“You’re such a sticky gum!” She teased.

“No, I’m not!” He frowned.

“Yes, you are.” She gently nudged him with her elbow.

“No! It’s him!” He fought back with a pout.

“It’s definitely you.” She shook her head playfully. “He’s too cute. I can totally see you being whipped for him.”

“No-“

“You were purposely walking slow so you could walk with him.” She giggled. “You didn’t even notice me because you were too busy looking at him.”

“I’m telling you that’s not it!” His panicking face was so cute.

“ _Crumbled sand castle, who’s a liar_ …” As she sang, she made sure to do his signature dance of fingers crossed behind her back.

She laughed as he let out a hushed moan.

“You’re terrible. Terrible.” He sighed, shaking his head.

“Am I really?” She teased, coming close to hand him a sweet roll. “… Or am I right?”

“I don’t like bread anymore…” He said although he took the roll from her hands.

“Share half with me then.” She grabbed the other end of the roll and together, they tugged the soft bread apart so each had half in their hand.

She slipped it into her mouth, smiling as he did the same.

“What brings you all the way over here?” She asked after she finished swallowing.

“Beomgyu and Huening Kai wanted fish buns.”

“There are stalls everywhere!” She laughed. “Why’d you come to one so far away?”

“Beomgyu said this one was the best one. But honestly… I think he just wanted an excuse to take a LOONGGG break.”

“Smart boy.” She grinned as he let out another chuckle. “I don’t blame him.”

“…What about you?” He asked, right before shoving another roll that she offered into his mouth.

 **So much for not liking bread anymore.** She disguised her giggle with a cough.

“I was on my way back home from the bakery when I got roped into running an errand with Hyunjin.” She sighed, shaking her head. “Did Daehwi introduce you yet?”

He shook his head no.

“I told you, you’re not missing out on much.” She smiled as he choked to cover his laugh.

“Speaking of Daehwi, let’s take a selfie and send it to him!” She whipped out her phone and he dutifully posed behind her.

“…Sh-shouldn’t we wear our masks?” He asked tentatively after she snapped a few pictures.

“Oh shoot. You’re right!” Yeji turned to him with big kitty eyes that caused him to smile. “Oh well… Too late. I guess we both have the virus now.” She sent the photo to Daehwi without a second thought.

“Don’t say that.” He chided although she could see him fighting back a giggle, causing her to shrug carelessly.

“Should’ve worried about that last week, Soobinie.” She teased, taking an intrusive step forward so she was in his space, causing him to gasp. “We were like two gums sitting side-by-side as we ate ice cream.”

She playfully brushed her arms against his, causing him to back away from her.

“Stay back! Stay back!” He tried to say in a serious tone, but laughter kept escaping his lips.

“If I have it, you’re going down with me.” She continued to jest, trying to get closer to him as he put his hands up and backed away. “Didn’t Daehwi tell you how selfish I am? I’m not getting sick alone!”

“No! No!” He all but screeched. “Help-“

A sudden vibration put a stop to their banter. While slightly annoyed at having been interrupted, Yeji grudgingly took out her phone from her pocket. She stared down at the Caller ID unfazed.

“It’s Daehwi…” She said in a blank tone, right before swiping to end-call.

She smiled as he let out a surprised giggle, high-pitched and childish.

“I don’t want to answer-“ She shrugged.

They were interrupted by another vibration, only this time, it wasn’t Yeji’s phone; it was Soobin’s.

Their eyes met and immediately, they broke into a fit of laugher.

“You-you gonna pick up?” She wheezed, struggling to breathe as the phone continued to ring.

“I-I don’t want to.” He answered truthfully, giggles spilling from his mouth.

“Then don’t.” She was laughing so hard, tears were starting to form in her eyes. “Hang up!” She reached for his phone, but he held it high above his head, away from her.

“No!” He squealed as she laughed and jumped for it.

Before she could attempt to take it from him again, he swiped to answer.

“H-hello?” He asked in a teary voice.

“YOU TWO HANGING OUT WITHOUT ME AGAIN?!!” Daehwi wasn’t on speaker, but Yeji could hear him loud and clear.

She exchanged eye-contact with Soobin and laughed again.

**Oh dramatic Daehwi.**

“It-it wasn’t on purpose…” Soobin coughed out between giggles. “It-it was un-unplanned-“

“Uh-huh! WHERE’S HWANG YEJI?! PASS ME HWANG YEJI?!”

“You’re always too busy for us, Lee Daehwi.” She answered back lazily, refusing to take the phone from Soobin’s hand.

“YOU IGNORED MY CALL! YOU PURPOSELY HUNG UP ON ME!”

They cracked up again.

“Y-you’re always ig-ignoring me!” She tried to defend herself. “Hanging out with your other 00-liner friends! The Bbang Bbangzzooo-“ She couldn’t even talk due to laughing so hard.

“Bbang bbang zoooo?” Soobin teased, causing her to give him a gentle shove as she shushed him with a finger to her lips.

“You know what I mean! Anyways! We didn’t plan this!” She called out, trying to control the rest of her giggles. “It was an accident.”

“Sure it was! You know what? Where are you?! I’m joining right now!”

“I need to go home Lee Daehwi.” She said, stretching lazily as Soobin smiled.

“I’m busy too… I have a full-schedule tomorrow.”

“Not too busy to meet without me apparently!” He sniffled over the line, causing them to swap grins.

“… Daehwi, I’m sorry.” She tried to placate with a sweet voice.

“We’ll schedule a hangout with all three of us.” Soobin added in a honeyed tone to match.

**_“Friends don’t understand me, understand me anymore! FRIENDS DON’T UNDERSTAND ME ANYMORE!”_ **

Daehwi’s theatrics had them both flailing again, trading hushed snickers as they heard his bitter and obnoxious voice loud and clear.

“ _Can’t you see me?”_ Yeji sang sweetly, smiling as Soobin giggled and Daehwi finished the song.

**_“Friends don’t understand me, understand me anymore! Friends don’t understand me, any MORE! MORE! MORE!”_ **

“… Daehwi-yah,” Yeji started after his breathing over the line had evened out, “Let’s hang out sometime in two weeks. Right before your promotions start and Soobinie’s promotions end. Ok?”

“We’d better.” The drama boy huffed over the line.

Yeji reached out to squeeze Soobin’s arm, trying to distract herself from bursting into laughter again as she pressed her lips together tightly shut. As she looked up at Soobin, she could see him doing the same, his lips pursed to prevent any sound from escaping as he gazed down at her with sparkling eyes.

“… Of course we will.” She released her breath, her voice light as she nudged Soobin by giving another squeeze.

“Yes, of course we will!” He quickly chimed in, his face scrunched up into an expression of pure amusement. “Yes! We have to meet. In two weeks ok?”

“Fine…” Daehwi let out another huff. “…But no more dates without me!”

And before either of them could fully process what he just said, he hung up.

“D-date?” Soobin stuttered.

“Don’t mind him.” She quickly dismissed with a wave of her hand, letting go of his arm. “He’s always like that. Whenever he feels left out, he’ll say, ‘You guys went on a date without me!’ He’s just salty.” She stretched out her limbs like a cat, letting out one last chuckle as he smiled sheepishly at her.

“… You know you have to come now in two weeks.”

“T-two weeks-“

“You said, ‘Of course we will.’ If you don’t show up, Daehwi’s gonna throw more than a fit.” She gave him a sly smile, which caused his cheeks to flush. “Not gonna be a pretty sight.”

“Oh… Ok…” He murmured, looking down at the ground.

“Cheer up Soobinie!” She fought back a coo, opting to pat him on the back instead. “Just think of it as another event on your schedule. Like work!”

“Meeting with my friends isn’t work!” His eyes shot up, a petulant pout on his lips.

“Even though you hate moving?” Her hand flew to cover her mouth as she laughed at how his face turned even darker.

“You’re being mean again…” He mumbled, causing another abrupt laugh to bubble inside of her.

**Terrible. Mean.**

How was she NOT supposed to tease him when his comebacks were on the level of an innocent first-grader? In addition to the innocent face and adorable pout on his lips? She just couldn’t help herself. He was too cute and she was more and more endeared by the day. The naughty side of her wanted to tease him more.

“Where can we even meet?” He coughed, his eyes glancing at her furtively. “Everything’s closed… due to the pandemic.”

She smirked at his blatant attempt to change the subject, but feeling merciful, decided to humor him.

“… His studio.” Her smirk grew as those sparkling eyes became clouded with awe.

“Huh?”

“Daehwi has his own studio! It’s in his company building, but it’s his own space. I’ve been there a few times! Space is a little cramped, but it’s private.”

“Oh… ok.”

“You get to see the place where the magic occurs.” She grinned at him. “Who knows? Maybe we’ll even get a chance to hear Daehwi’s new song.”

“Ok… ok.”

“Gosh Soobinie!” She laughed at his lost expression. “You don’t need to look so confused! We’ll order some takeout and hang out for a few hours. I think you’ll enjoy it more than going out! Since you’re a homebody.”

Her teasing voice caused him to blush again.

“I-I don’t mind going out…” He mumbled, averting his eyes away from her.

At his crestfallen expression, her eyes softened and her smirk morphed into a gentle smile.

“I know you don’t…” She reached out her hand to give him a gentle squeeze on the arm again. “And I’m always thankful that you make the effort to meet us even when you’re busy.”

He looked up to meet her eyes and she gave him another reassuring squeeze before letting go, gazing at him fondly. She appreciated the five seconds of silence she had to admire those sparkling eyes, a small sense of giddiness floating up from her gut.

“ _Can’t you see me?”_ Her body acted on it own and she broke into song, releasing the jitters she felt from feeling too soft for her bunny-like friend.

“Wha-“

“ _See me_ …” She balanced herself on one foot as she leaned close to him playfully. “ _Oh, can’t you see me?”_

She fought back a giggle as his confused furrow immediately morphed into a sour expression.

“Please stop.” He let out a soft groan, his lips jutting into a pout.

“ _See me_ ,” She imitated the hazed look in his eyes during his ‘Can’t you see me’ performance, reaching her hand out to him longingly. “… _Save me-“_

“ **Social distancing, Hwang Yeji**.” A hand locked onto her wrist.

The next thing she knew, she was yanked away from Soobin. Losing her balance, she stumbled backwards with a yelp and tumbled, falling right into someone. Her head thumped against something hard and she winced, but an arm wrapped around her waist, holding her up and preventing her from crumbling to the ground. She blinked hard, feeling slightly disoriented as she assessed her situation. Currently, her body was tucked into someone else’s, with the side of her face pressed against a sturdy chest. Her wrist was chained in an iron grip, with her waist wrapped by a strong arm.

She tried to straighten herself, but the arm around her tightened and instinctively, Yeji knew who was holding her. She peeled her face from his chest to look up and the moment her eyes met his, she felt her heart stop.

****

**_One look, one second of eye-contact, one glance._ **

Due to his mask, she could only see Hyunjin’s eyes.

**But that was enough to scare her.**

The eyes that were normally filled with mirth as they twinkled with mischief were completely dark; not dilated, dark. Dark and narrowed as they gazed down at her was an emotion she was all too familiar with, but hadn’t seen in a long time. She didn’t need to see his entire face. Those eyes were enough to make her absolutely aware of his current state – of how body was like a rock against hers, unfazed by her weight on him; of how his hold on her was an unbreakable force, power dominating from his body.

**Hyunjin was mad, and he was mad at Yeji.**

**It was scary. It was terrifying.**

Her heart began pounding wildly in her chest, and not in a good way. She was so shocked that she hardly realized her arms were coming up in defense. She pushed him away, shoving him so hard that he had no choice but to let go ‘lest he wanted them both to fall. He let her go, but kept those dark eyes on hers, restrained fury radiating from them.

She quickly put her mask back on her face and from the corner of her eyes, could see Soobin doing the same. Hyunjin’s eyes flashed to Soobin and she took a protective step in front of her friend, heart still thumping painfully inside of her. But Hyunjin was fixated on Soobin now, his eyes looking over the tall boy up-and-down, scanning him, analyzing him… **judging** him.

Her churning fear turned into ire, irritation starting to bubble up inside of her.

“… Stop it.” Her voice was quiet, but firm as she took a step closer to Hyunjin, forcing him to look into her eyes.

His gaze came back to her and she stared coldly at him.

**_One look, one second of eye-contact, one glance._ **

****

She made sure that he knew she wasn’t having his attitude, that she would not allow him to treat her or her friend like this.

“… Soobinie-“ She turned to the tall boy, who was fidgeting nervously.

“Hi, I’m Hyunjin from Stray Kids.” Hyunjin cut her off, bowing politely to Soobin. “Nice to meet you.”

His voice was friendly, but Yeji knew him well enough to see the tightness of his jaw through the mask as well as the callousness in his eyes.

“I-I’m So-Soobin. F-from TomorrowxTogether.” The taller boy stuttered as he also bowed politely.

“I’ve heard a lot about you from Daehwi.” Hyunjin took a step closer to him. “He talks a lot about you.”

“O-oh…”

“Why don’t you ever join us when we meet?” His voice had a slight edge, but it was so subtle that only Yeji could have caught on had she been paying attention.

 **She wasn’t.** Or to put it more accurately, she didn’t think too much of it because _something else_ had caught her attention.

**Daehwi tried to set up a hangout between Soobin and his other friends?**

Her eyes widened as she turned to Soobin curiously.

If that was the case, why didn’t he go? He met with her a few times, always doing his best to show up when she called.

“I-I was b-busy with our comeback… And with the corona virus, I…” His voice trailed off as he looked down shyly.

A wave of tender warmth washed over her and she felt her heart start to calm. **So Soobin met with her despite his tiredness and fear of getting sick? He was a keeper!** (As a friend, of course). At this point, he was about to take Daehwi’s spot as her #1 guy friend.

Hyunjin hummed and nodded as if he understood, but the glare in his eyes didn’t show an ounce of sympathy.

**What the heck was with Hyunjin’s attitude?**

She turned to Hyunjin, using her eyes to signal a warning to him, but his eyes were still locked on Soobin, still examining, still judging. For a moment it was quiet, the air becoming tense among them.

“Soobinie Hyung!” A voice from the distance pierced through the awkward silence and Yeji let out a breath of relief she didn’t realize she had been holding.

She watched as Soobin did the same, his eyes lighting up as he looked towards his members who were waiting for him.

“…You’d better go.” She said softly, nodding at him when he turned to face her. “Bye Soobinie.” She crinkled her eyes to let him know she was happy. “I’ll talk to you later.”

“Ok. Ok.” His eyes became crescent moons as he bashfully looked at her.

She smiled. His habit of repeating phrases was cute.

She turned to face his members and gave them a polite bow, which they all returned. And with that, she bid Soobin good-bye, but not before reaching out her fingers to tap on his cap. As she walked away, she realized they had been matching – they both wore black caps today.

Hyunjin was silent as they walked along the road, his eyes hardened as he avoided her gaze. But Yeji didn’t care. To be honest, she didn’t want to deal with him at the moment. She could tell by his stubborn quietness that he was still feeling sour and she didn’t have the patience for it. So she decided to ignore it. They could talk and sort things out later, she figured.

“ _Can’t you see me?_ ” She hummed absent-mindedly as they continued along their path.

She was feeling so lethargic that she missed Hyunjin’s question the first time.

“Hmm?” She turned to him carelessly. “What did you say?”

“… Soobinie.”

It wasn’t a question, it was a statement.

“… What?” She said blankly, her eyes dropping back to the road.

“Soobinie.” He repeated in a louder voice.

“Yeah?”

“ **SOOBINIE?!”**

That got her attention.

“Soobinie! What about him?” She turned to face him again, confusion and annoyance welling up inside of her, only to see the same confusion and annoyance directed back to her.

“Are you playing games with me, Hwang Yeji?” He spat out in a low tone.

**Hyunjin was pissed. What the heck?**

“…What are you talking about?” She frowned. “What’s with you?”

“Since when were you two friends?”

“Since a while ago.” She rolled her eyes at him, frustration slowly piling up within her inner being. “What’s with you? You rope me into getting fish buns with you and now you’re pissed?”

“I’m not pissed!”

“Yes, you are! Your eyes are doing that weird thing again when they become small and then big and then small again!”

“Yej-“

“You’re glaring at me!” Despite her effort not to lose her own temper, she found herself raising her voice. “… Why? Why are you so mad? What did I do?”

She looked hard at him and he looked away, in what she supposed was an attempt to regain his bearings and calm himself down. He took a few deep breaths and she waited, watching him before he spoke again.

“… Is he-“

“No.” She shook her head vehemently.

“You didn’t even hear-“ His eye twitched, but she wasn’t having it.

“I know you well enough, Hyunjin! No, he’s not my first love. I met him this year.”

Had it not been for the fact that they were fighting right now, Yeji would have laughed at the irony of his question. He was so close and yet so off. It was then that she realized what a strange setting she had just come from – at the fish bun stall, she had been standing in the middle of her first love, her best friend, and her new friend.

**Crazy.**

“… And even if he was, it’s none of your business.” She shook her head, refusing to look at him any longer. “I already told you last time – you know him and he’s not from JYP. That’s all you need to know.”

 **Honestly, what was going on with Hyunjin?** She was beginning to regret meeting him today. What was the point of meeting if they were just going to fight? She took in shallow breaths, trying to regain self-control, inwardly hoping he would just drop it.

“While the whole world is suffering, you’re using this as your free time to go on dates?”

**Of course, he wouldn’t drop it.**

“I’m not! We’re just friends!” She was fed up with his nasty attitude. “Drop it, Hyunjin!”

“You’re planning on meeting him later.” He was seething. “During the pandemic? Are you stupid?”

 **Ouch.** That caused a stab in her heart as well as opened the gate to her own temper that she had been trying to keep closed.

“…What about you?” She bristled, her feet stopping short.

“What about me, Hwang Yeji?” He refused to meet her gaze, keeping his hardened eyes on the road.

“It’s not like you’re not meeting people! You have no right to judge what I do or who I meet when you’re doing the exact same thing!”

Immediately, her mind flashed to the boy who greeted Hyunjin at the fish bun stall. Beomgyu, was that his name?

“What are you talking about?” That caused him to stop.

He whirled around meet her glare, his own eyes steeled with defiance.

“That boy said you met him what? Three days ago? Hyunjin! You never come out when I call you!”

It was a good thing that there was no one else down the street because she was yelling now – not the crazy yelling she did to him on the rooftop recently, but the same yelling she did when they were immature high school kids – breathless and haphazard bouts of words, spit out of rancor and impatience.

“I told you, I was at practice-“

“You could have rescheduled! You could have met me after!” She sounded a lot more bitter than she wanted to. “Why-“ She caught herself, snapping her jaw shut.

**Why didn’t you?**

That’s what she wanted to say, what she wanted to know. Why didn’t Hyunjin reschedule? Why didn’t he call her? Why did she have to be his spontaneous errand buddy when he didn’t even think of her during his free time? Why… Why was she _always_ **the last person** he prioritized? She felt a painful squeeze in her chest and she swallowed uncomfortably.

**What was going on?**

It wasn’t like Yeji was… **Jealous?** Was she jealous? What was happening?

“…Let’s just drop it, Hyunjin.” Her voice dropped as did her temper, fury dissolving into thin air as tension weighed down her shoulders.

 ** _It only took one look, one second of eye-contact, one glance_** – but Yeji didn’t want it to. She refused to make eye-contact with him, keeping her eyes forward as she continued walking again. She was unwilling to see what he would convey with his eyes.

“Let’s not fight.” She said tiredly, the heaviness in the air oppressing her entire being.

“Fine.” He answered curtly, picking up his steps so that he passed her.

She felt a pang in her chest as she watched his cold back going far away from her.

**Why were they becoming like this? Why were they becoming so far apart?**

She watched as he continued to distance himself from her – going further and further, becoming smaller and smaller, until eventually, she was left all alone in front of her apartment.

“Egg tarts and fish buns! Yay!” Yuna cheered, wrapping Yeji in a tight embrace.

“Thank you, Unni!” Chaeryeong let out a squeal of delight.

“Looks amazing! Thank you Yeji.” Lia smiled kindly at her as she reached for an egg tart. “But you didn’t have to hit up two different places. Just one would have sufficed.”

“Yeah Unni.” Ryujin nodded, a furrow in her brow as she looked at Yeji with concern. “You ok? You look pale.”

“… Just tired.” Yeji flopped to the floor, rolling over to her side as she closed her eyes.

“Hey… Aren’t these the fish buns near the practice buildings?” Yuna asked with her mouth full.

Yeji hummed, keeping her eyes closed.

“Wow!” Chaeryeong paused. “… Run into Hyunjin?”

Yeji kept her eyes closed and did her best to ignore the snickers that followed after that.

“Imagine?” Lia laughed.

Yeji stayed quiet as the girls chatted excitedly about what they did during the day, remaining on the floor as she lay on her side.

“Thank you for the egg tarts, Unni.” Ryujin’s voice sounded a lot closer than she anticipated.

She opened her eyes to find herself face-to-face with Ryujin’s beautiful smile. That smile gave her little alleviation, but not much. Nevertheless, Yeji sat up.

“… Your welcome.” She forced a small smile.

“You sure you’re ok? You’ve been out almost all day.” Although the smile remained on Ryujin’s face, there was a furrow in her brow. “Did something happen?”

“… It’s nothing.”

It wasn’t nothing, but it wasn’t _something_ that she was able to share because she was still processing it. To be honest, she was absolutely confused about what occurred between her and Hyunjin.

**Yeji and Hyunjin went to get fish buns. Yeji met Soobin and they chatted briefly. Hyunjin joined them (already upset), and introduced himself. They left together. On their way home, they fought.**

**What?**

Yeji blinked.

She was completely puzzled, but couldn’t pinpoint exactly what went wrong. She was also hurt, but was at an utter loss for the exact reason behind it. So she kept quiet. It wasn’t that she didn’t trust her members to not tell them about what happened, but more so that Yeji didn’t know how to explain what happened.

“It’s nothing…”

It was better for that thing to be nothing that something. Better to be unaffected by Hyunjin and consider it nothing than to be shaken by something she didn’t even fully understand. At least that’s what she kept telling herself, ignoring the dull ache in her heart that flared up when she pictured his cold eyes and even colder back that left her alone.

**It was nothing.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 이건 네 drama (ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh)  
> This is your drama (ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh)  
> \- Drama by TxT :P 
> 
> *Check it out if you haven't. It's awesome. 
> 
> Slightly shorter chapter today, but still juicy enough I hope.  
> Somebody help Hyunjin out! XO  
> Yeji too, but the Hwang BOY needs it more! 
> 
> Side note: We've only got a few more chapters to go so stay with me everyone!  
> Hopefully, we end by chapter 15? 16? We'll see~  
> I have gotten busier so I may go back to updating once every 2 weeks, depending on my schedule. 
> 
> As always, thank you all for reading this story and feel free to engage in the comments. I always respond ^^


	12. Make Up

It wasn’t nothing.

As much as she tried her best not to let it get to her, Yeji was more and more bothered by the day. She didn’t even talk to Hyunjin every day, but after their fight, there was a part of her that was completely restless by the fact that they ended that day on bad terms. And the worst part of it was, she didn’t know how to fix it.

Usually their petty fights lasted no more than three days. By then, they would grudgingly come together in the Hwang Spot and make amends. Yeji would apologize first and Hyunjin would flash his usual smirk, indicating he let go of all negative feelings. This time was different.

First of all, Yeji couldn’t even go the Hwang Spot as she was still barred from going into the practice rooms. The moment she set foot in the main JYP building, she was politely escorted out by staff members who told her kindly, but firmly to go home and rest until given further notice. Second, Stray Kids had officially started promotions with ‘God’s Menu’. This meant Hyunjin was now extremely busy and was even more unavailable to contact.

She could have texted him, shot him a quick apology via kakaotalk, but for some reason, she couldn’t bring herself to do so. A part of it was due to her ego – she was half-expecting a bag of Choco Boys delivered to her apartment as a sign of his apology (even though deep down inside, she knew he wouldn’t). The other part of it was texting felt too impersonal – she wanted to speak to him face-to-face, wanted to make things right in person. However, their current life circumstances did not permit it so she just needed to wait. Waiting was torturous. It was funny. She had told him to drop it, but she found herself struggling to drop it.

**Hilarious.**

She shook her head, pushing all thoughts of Hyunjin and their fight aside as she strutted up to side door of the Brand New Ent. Building.

The past two weeks may have gone by painfully slow due to quarantine and thoughts of Hyunjin consuming her, but at least now she was able to hang out with Soobin and Daehwi again. This would probably the last time all three of them would be able to hang out in person for a while, as they all had comebacks and other schedules booked for the rest of the year. The busiest was definitely Soobin, who had just finished promotions for ‘Puma’ and was getting ready for his Japanese album as well as ANOTHER comeback later this year. A part of her felt guilty for holding Soobin to his promise of meeting them when he was so busy, but her concern for Daehwi superseded any guilt she could have ever felt.

“Hey,” She cracked the door open, peeking in with a soft voice and even softer eyes.

“… Hey.” Daehwi grinned, but his smile didn’t reach his eyes.

She felt a pang in her chest, but forced a smile on her lips as she removed her mask.

**Daehwi** … Daehwi was having more trouble than she was, was having more trouble than _anyone_. The leader of his group had resigned due to a scandal and Daehwi was left scrambling to rearrange everything for his already postponed comeback. She considered cancelling their hangout. Right now was probably the most stressful time for the boy and to be honest, a part of her was surprised that he didn’t cancel the hangout himself. He didn’t cancel and neither did she. She didn’t cancel. No, she _couldn’t._

How was she supposed to cancel when she knew that Daehwi was probably spending many sleepless nights and lifeless days? When she knew that there were countless thoughts (many of which were potentially destructive) running through his head? When he holed himself in his work without eating? When she knew that Chaeyeon was too busy to see him?

She had practically begged Chaeyeon over the phone the other day to see Daehwi.

“He needs you!” She pleaded, gripping her phone desperately. “Please Unni! He needs you! He needs somebody right now!”

It was useless. Chaeyeon couldn’t even see Chaeryeong due to IZ*one promotions and their companies’ excessive quarantine restrictions. How was she supposed to meet Daehwi? Chaeryeong had cried a few days ago because she missed the older Chae sister so much and Yeji felt utterly helpless as she watched Lia wrap the younger Chae in her arms, attempting to console with comforting whispers.

Somi had gone to see Daehwi the other day and had called Yeji in a voice so shaken that it rattled Yeji’s core, momentarily expelling all thoughts of her own problem with Hyunjin from her mind.

“H-he’s the worst I’ve seen him.” She sniffled. “I’m scared Unni! And I’m not allowed to go see him anymore. Management banned me due to quarantine!”

That was enough to finalize Yeji’s resolve. Daehwi needed somebody and if there was nobody else, Yeji would be that somebody. She shot a message in their chatroom, reminding them of their hangout and while Daehwi ignored all of her previous individual messages she sent, he responded with a curt ‘k’ in their group chat. She quickly pushed aside any saltiness she felt over the fact that he was only meeting with her because of his promise to Soobin. Soobin or no Soobin, at least he was willing to see her, willing to take a breather. He needed to take a break and he needed support, so if this hangout could do both, she’d be completely satisfied. After all, Daehwi was her important friend.

“I brought chicken.” She held up the bag, tilting her head to the side playfully.

“…I’m on a diet.” He leaned back against his chair with a tired sigh.

“So you’re not eating?” She opened a foldable chair to sit beside him, placing the food on the table.

“I never said that.” He took a peek inside the bag.

A genuine smile formed on her lips and she watched as his lips curved up in the same way.

“…Daehwi-“

“Please don’t.” His voice was so small and vulnerable, it caused an ache in her heart.

He was practically begging her not to open the can of worms he had been trying so desperately to keep shut.

“… Ok.” She nodded reluctantly.

Despite her curiosity, she quickly swallowed back questions she was dying to ask.

“Thank you.” He breathed out, slumping his shoulders in relief.

For a few moments, they sat in silence – Daehwi burdened by the unspeakable things he refused to share as Yeji stayed beside him in what she hoped was comforting silence.

“… Where’s Soobin?” After a few minutes, he had recomposed himself enough to start unpacking the chicken.

“Pizza.” She smiled, relaxing back into her seat as the cloudy look in his eyes brightened.

“You guys are the best.” He cheered.

“You have drinks ready, right?” She looked around the studio.

It had been a while since she last visited. Daehwi’s studio really wasn’t that big, but it was perfect for three people to hang out for a short while.

“I have snacks too.” He reached over to her side to grab the sodas and snacks off the bookcase, which ironically, didn’t have a single book in sight.

“I should get you some books.” She giggled, causing him to scoff.

“Everything’s online these days!”

“Do you read online books?”

“No… But that’s besides the point!”

She was laughing now and the air felt so much lighter. A soft knock to the door interrupted their mild banter.

“Hi, hi…” Soobin peaked in his head shyly.

“Hi Soobinie.” She grinned, a part of her heart melting at his bashful smile.

**He was still so cute.**

“Welcome to my humble home.” Daehwi stood up and made a show of the space (or lack of space) in his studio. “You like it?”

“It’s amazing.” Soobin’s dry voice caused both of them to gape at the taller boy.

“Was that… SARCASM I hear?” Daehwi gasped dramatically. “From YOU, Choi Soobin?”

“Soobinie’s growing up.” Yeji said with an exaggerated sniffle, gushing at him like a proud mother.

They smirked as Soobin’s face reddened.

“N-no! Ah… You guys are always making fun of me…” The bunny-boy’s soft whine blew away any remaining tension in the room as Yeji and Daehwi chuckled at their innocent friend.

“That’s ‘cause you’re so cute Binie.” Daehwi winked.

“It can’t be helped.” She nodded enthusiastically in agreement.

It was obvious by the distraught look in Soobin’s eyes that those weren’t exactly the things he wanted to hear, but at the pair’s shining eyes of adoration fixed on him, he grudgingly joined them at the table.

It was a little crowded as the three of them set up their food on top of a desk designed for two people max, but it was fine. Even though she was sandwiched between two warm bodies with elbows lightly brushing against each other, Yeji felt completely content at the moment. Seeing the genuine small smile on Daehwi’s face as well as the sparkle in Soobin’s eyes was worth it all.

“So… what’s the deal with raccoons?” Daehwi raised an eyebrow, his head tilted to the side as sported a sassy expression.

He was sitting sideways with his back against the wall so that they wouldn’t be so squished, facing the two on his right. And he looked absolutely… **ridiculous** , posing with his shoulder out as he held a chicken drumstick offhandedly to them. Yeji exchanged glances with Soobin and they both snorted to stifle their laughter.

“I like baby raccoons.” Soobin’s smile grew wide. “They’re cute.”

“Soobinie and I are always sending each other videos.” She nodded in agreement.

“You guys are so weird.” Daehwi rolled his eyes. “They’re not that cute.”

“Yes, they are!” Their indignant voices that chimed in unison as well as their mirrored expressions of outrage caused Daehwi to lift up his hands in surrender.

“Ok! Ok! Don’t come at me! Geez…” He huffed. “Might as well change our group chat name to the ‘raccoon lovers’.”

“Sure. I’ll do it right no-“

Daehwi’s hand moved faster than the speed of sound to put Yeji’s phone face down on her lap, his hand locked on hers in a vice-like grip as he gazed at her with the most grim expression she had ever seen. This time, she and Soobin didn’t hold back, laughter bouncing off the thick soundproof wall of the small room.

“Seriously, I don’t get you guys.” Daehwi muttered unhappily, only letting go of Yeji’s hand once she gave him a silent promise not to do anything. “There’s so many other cute animals in the world. Dogs? Cats. Bunnies!”

“Soobinie’s a bunny.” She cut in, gesturing to the tall boy beside her.

“I am aware of that,” Daehwi rolled his eyes again with a dramatic sigh. “And exactly what I was saying! Cute bunnies-”

“What are you?” Soobinie looked at them curiously.

“What do you mean?” Daehwi was surprised at Soobin’s sudden question.

“Animals. What animals do you resemble?”

**Oh my gosh, he was so cute.**

Yeji choked on her drink and Daehwi glared as Soobin continued to stare at them innocently, completely clueless to how he had blatantly cut Daehwi off. But there was no one on earth who could be truly mad at Soobin and Daehwi was more than eager to accommodate his taller friend.

“Obviously, this one’s a cat!” Daehwi gestured to Yeji’s face with an exaggerated gesture. “Straight up like cat!”

“Daehwi’s an otter.” Yeji answered in a flat tone.

“A-an otter? Otter?” Soobin’s eyes disappeared as they crinkled in glee, covering his mouth as soft giggles trailed out of his lips.

“He looks like one, right?” Yeji smiled, her eyes fixated on the boy who sat across from her who was giggling shyly. She felt endeared by his innocent laughter.

“Why are you laughing, Choi Soobin?” Daehwi glared at him.

“N-nothing-“

“Are you making fun of me?!”

“Daehwi, please!” She let out an exasperated sigh, shaking her head.

The salty boy huffed, but grudgingly snapped his mouth shut.

“I… I-I didn’t mean… I wasn’t-“ Soobin stuttered.

“You didn’t do anything wrong.” She dismissed his concerns with a kind smile. “He’s just being dramatic. Soobinie, coke please.” She held out her cup.

“Sure, sure.” He dutifully poured some into her cup.

“Thank you, thank you.” She copied him, giggling as his face turned red.

**His habit of repeating phrases was so cute.**

“Cute! Cute!” Daehwi interrupted obnoxiously. “You guys are making me feel like I’m the third wheel here.”

Soobin choked and Yeji immediately reached over to pat his back, whipping her head to Daehwi with a frown.

“What do you mean?” She shook her head at Daehwi in disapproval. “Look! Your nonsense almost killed Soobinie.”

“Soobinie,” Daehwi said incredulously. Then he let out a noise of disbelief. “I cannot believe this.” He muttered, face palming as he stared at the oblivious pair.

Soobin was too focused on getting his breath back and Yeji was too focused on making sure Soobin could breathe again to notice Daehwi’s scrutinizing gaze.

After Soobin was able to breathe again, for a few minutes, they fell into silence, eating their food quietly. Yeji glanced at Daehwi and he raised an eyebrow at her so she turned to Soobin whose eyes widened as he nodded at her with his cheeks full of food.

**How to break the silence?**

“… _Can’t you see me?_ ” She hummed softly, smiling as Soobin let out a snort, covering his mouth to prevent food from flying out as Daehwi smirked, giving her a high-five.

“I feel like that’s the only line you know.” Soobin sighed after he finished swallowing.

“That’s not true.” She protested.

“That’s the only line you sing.” He chuckled, shaking his head.

“ _Like on that magical day, say ‘Believe me’_.” She broke into song, the rest of the melody flowing out of her lips. “ _My heart incinerated, come and feel me… feel me._ ”

Her eyes were filled with mirth as they fixated upon him, her lips curved into a soft smile.

“ _Oh, can’t you see me…_ ” Her voice quietly trailed off when he smiled at her, their eyes connecting.

She felt a subtle tickling feeling in her chest as he looked at her with soft eyes, a gentle smile on his face that caused a slight wave of fondness to rush through her.

**Cute. Soobinie was so-**

“ **My friends don't understand me, no**!” Daehwi broke their moment with an obnoxious groan.

“Why are you upset now?” She sighed, turning to the other boy as she shook her head.

“ ** _Friends don’t understand me, understand me anymore_** _._ ” He ignored her, continuing to sing obnoxiously. “ ** _Friends don’t understand me anymore! More!_** ”

“ _Can’t you see me?”_ Soobin interjected with a giggle as Yeji joined Daehwi in singing the bridge.

“ _Friends don’t understand me, understand me anymore. Friends don’t understand me anymore… more… more._ ”

No later than two seconds after they finished singing the last word, there was a knock at the door. The three of them immediately burst into laughter at the impeccable timing.

“It had better not be those idiots, I swear-” Daehwi muttered as he stood up to trudge over to the door.

Soobin looked at Yeji curiously and she mouthed, ‘His hyungs’, causing him to let out an ‘ah’ of understanding.

He cracked the door open cautiously.

“What the… What the heck!” Daehwi’s high-pitched tone caused Soobin and Yeji to exchange confused glances before turning their heads to the door to see whom it was.

“What are you all doing here?” Daehwi gaped.

“Thanks for the warm welcome.” A boy with a deep voice said sarcastically, pushing past Daehwi.

“We brought food!” A tall boy with a high-pitched voice said cheekily, holding up a big bag of takeout. “We brought- Oh.” He stopped short as did the first boy who pushed through.

Yeji and Soobin exchanged glances again and she could tell he was feeling as uncomfortable as she was.

“…Already have company, I see.” A third boy with a VERY familiar voice walked in.

Against her will, her head whipped back to the doorway. She made eye-contact with a pair of dark brown eyes and stiffened.

**What the heck was HYUNJIN doing here?**

It was funny. Yeji hadn’t seen him since the day they had gone for fish buns together, since the day they fought two weeks ago. And two weeks later, those brown eyes were still able to unsettle her. She stared at him, becoming absolutely still as the solemnity in his eyes rendered her silent. His eyes locked onto hers like iron chains and she was motionless, unable to move a muscle. But then his eyes shifted over, moving to Soobin and then back to Daehwi.

“Have room for us?” He grinned at Daehwi with such a wide smile, as if he hadn’t just stared Yeji down.

“The heck?! No! Party crashers can stand!” Daehwi barked with no bite, returning the grin.

And Yeji could breathe again, released the breath she didn’t realize she had been holding. Hyunjin had probably stared at her for a maximum of five seconds, but those five seconds were enough to suffocate her.

“Well, everybody out! Out!” Daehwi’s shrill caused her and Soobin to jump, leading them to grab at each other unconsciously.

“We just got here!” The tall newcomer whined.

“It’s cramped in here, genius!” Daehwi rolled his eyes. “We’re relocating. Now out!”

Soobin started packing the food away diligently as the three newcomers grudgingly went out the door that Daehwi held wide open.

She pretended she didn’t see Hyunjin shooting her one last glance before leaving the room.

“I swear, I can’t get a single day off.” Daehwi muttered, coming back to the table to help them.

“You’re being loved.” Yeji said in a flat tone.

He shot her a glare as Soobin let out another nervous giggle.

“Loved to death and worked to death.” He moaned, before suddenly honing a glare on both of them. “You’re staying through this! Leaving is not an option right now!”

“Uh-“

“Daehwi-“

“No!” He practically screeched, hands coming up to cover his ears. “I don’t want to hear it! You’re staying with me! Both of you! And that’s final!” And with that, he ran out the door.

“Over here, losers!” He hollered down the hall.

Yeji and Soobin exchanged wry smiles as they heard complaints following down after him.

“Who the HECK are you calling a loser, Lee Daehwi?!”

“Says the one who’s acting like one right now!”

“For that, we’re not sharing tteokbboki with you!”

“…Should we run away?” Yeji’s dry voice caused Soobin to laugh.

“To where?” Soobin smiled shyly, scratching his head.

“Anywhere.” She sighed, holding the door open for him. “Anywhere that isn’t… loud.”

“I don’t know any place like that.” Soobin chuckled as they walked down the hall.

“Really? I can think of at least one place.” A sly smile quirked up on her lips.

“Where?” He looked at her curiously.

“Jeonju.” She smiled at the sound of his bright laughter.

“Well then, me too! Ansan. My parent’s house.”

“… Let’s go to Ansan.” She let out a dramatic sigh, causing him to let out another short laugh.

“Why not Jeonju?” He ribbed back.

“Who said we’re not hitting both?” She gave him one last smirk before entering the open room that Daehwi had settled into.

Daehwi and his friends were sitting in a circle on the hardwood floor of a dance practice room, with chopsticks in their hands and spicy rice cakes, blood sausages, and other Korean snacks all around.

“Come sit here!” Daehwi called to them with his mouth full, gesturing to the open space beside him.

Yeji and Soobin came to floor and carefully set the leftover chicken and pizza in the center of the circle next to the other food. After they finished setting up, they took the spot next to Daehwi. However, both of them scooted back so that they were slightly away from the circle. Yeji did her best not to make eye-contact with Hyunjin all the while, afraid to be shackled down by those piercing eyes again.

“… Eat.” Daehwi frowned at them, nudging Yeji with his knee. “There’s a lot of food.”

“I’m ok…” She said softly, keeping her eyes on Daehwi so she wouldn’t have to look at the brown eyes she could feel burning a hole in her side.

“Eat!” He insisted, nudging her again. “If you don’t, he won’t either.” He gestured to Soobin with his chopsticks. “Eat!”

She turned to Soobin and sure enough, his lips were pressed firmly together and he seemed to be looking at her with an expression that said, ‘If you eat, I’ll eat’. So Yeji scooted closer to the center, reached for two pairs of chopsticks, and handed one to Soobin.

“Thank you for the food…” She smiled at the two newcomers who were sitting across from her before reaching out to grab some spicy rice cakes.

For a moment, they ate in silence and the only sounds that could be heard were the ones of chewing and chopsticks clacking against each other. A soft cough interrupted the silence and Yeji was startled into looking up. One of the boy’s face had flushed a soft pink, but before she could look away, he spoke.

“I-I’m a fan!” The tallest newcomer had a high-pitched voice.

While his voice slightly trembled, he had a beaming smile on his face. As she looked at him, she found herself strangely at ease and soon realized why – he looked similar to Soobin, with round eyes, a straight nose, and lips that curved into a smile. He was tall too, probably the same height as Soobin, although his cheeks were rounder and even softer-looking than Soobin’s. This boy could have probably passed off as Soobin’s fraternal twin. 

“T-thank you.” She replied softly, giving him a small smile.

“I’m a fan too. Of both of you.” The boy with the deep voice nodded at Soobin, who blushed.

“T-thank you. Thank you…” He mumbled, eyes darting around.

“Aren’t you gonna introduce yourselves?” Daehwi snorted, his cheeks stuffed with tteokbokki and pizza.

“Ah, right! I’m Sanha from Astro.” Soobin’s twin grinned with a cute wink.

“Do that again and I’m throwing you out.” Deep voice snorted, turning to Yeji and Soobin with a half-smile. “Bomin from Golden Child. Nice to meet you.”

Yeji and Soobin exchanged looks and at Soobin’s hesitation, her smile widened.

“… I’m Yeji from Itzy.” She bowed her head politely.

“I-I’m Soobin from T-TomorrowxTogether.” He copied her and also bowed politely.

“This is Hyunjin!” Sanha patted the knee of the boy beside him excitedly. “He’s from Stray Kids.”

“They know.” Hyunjin’s voice was cold. “I introduced myself the last time we met.”

Now, he was the one avoiding Yeji’s gaze and he kept his eyes glued to the ground.

“Last time?” Daehwi shot them a puzzled look.

“Fish buns.” Yeji and Soobin said in unison, exchanging quiet smiles.

“Oh…” Daehwi’s expression immediately soured. “Right.”

Yeji reached for Soobin’s arm to give it a gentle squeeze, trying to prevent herself from bursting into laughter. She could tell by the twinkle in Soobin’s eyes that he was doing the same.

“Sorry.” Soobin’s quick apology did nothing to alleviate Daehwi’s mood as the glowering boy lifted his chin stubbornly with a grimace on his face.

“Eyyy… C’mon, don’t be like that.” Sanha nodded at Daehwi with an easygoing smile. “Why-“

The door flew open with a loud bang, causing them all to flinch.

“What are you doing, Lee Daehwi?” Woojin drawled, peeking in the room.

“Oh heck no!” Daehwi cursed, jumping to his feet. “What are YOU doing, Park Woojin?!”

“Oh wow! Food!” Woong also peered into the room with his usual easygoing smile.

“Looks like you’ve ordered a lot of delicious things. Care to share? Hi Hyunjin. Yeji. Hey other 00-liners.” Woojin smirked, nodding at the two JYP artists. “Sharing is caring.”

“What? Daehwi’s offering to share? You’re the best! Hi Hyunjin! Hi Yeji!” Woong gave his sweet smile and waved.

The two Hwangs smiled and waved hi to the older boys in almost an identical manner. But nobody noticed, as everyone was watching Daehwi in amusement.

“Get out!” Daehwi demanded with a shriek, shoving the older two boys back out the door. “Nope! Nope! This is 00-liners time! All you boomers can just go away! Out!”

He tried to close the door on them, but Woojin held it open effortlessly.

“Boomers, he says,” Woojin snorted, “when he’s the one acting like a granny.”

At that, they all cracked up. But Daehwi let out a screech so loud that it covered up all their laughter. Yeji pulled her knees into her chest, hugging herself as she ducked her head down and Soobin did the same, both of them scrunching down in a desperate attempt to suppress their giggles.

“A-a g-granny…” Soobin breathed out.

She quickly shushed him, shaking her head at him as they trembled with laughter.

“So this is what it’s like to be the youngest.” Soobin murmured.

“No. This is what it’s like to be Daehwi.” Her whisper caused Soobin to break into another fit of giggles.

“S-should we feel… s-sorry for him?” He choked, his face burning from the comedy scene being displayed right in front of their eyes.

Daehwi himself was turning very red as he continued to shout at the older boys, his arms flailing in the air as he tried to force them out.

“Why? He’s being so loved right now.” She smirked, her eyes glued to the sight in front of her in fascination. “Can’t you tell?”

Daehwi was kicking now, and Woojin had started to yell as Woong screamed.

“S-sounds like you’re jealous…” Soobin teased.

Yeji was so startled that her eyes tore away from Daehwi to stare at the boy beside her in shock. That was the first time Soobin had cracked a joke like that to her. Ever. And it was obvious, she wasn’t the only one aware of it either. Soobin’s eyes were crinkled into a shy smile and his flushed cheeks made him look even shyer as he bit his lower lip. However, even with the bashful expression on his face, he kept his chin up stubbornly, waiting for her response.

She responded by twisting her face into an expression of disgust, causing him to laugh again.

“I am NOT jealous of that.” She scoffed, shaking her head as she turned her attention back to Daehwi. “Nope.”

“… You sure?”

Her eyes shot back to Soobin. He was smirking now, that sly bunny! His round eyes had narrowed with a devious glint and his lips were tugged into a half-smile. She didn’t even know he could make an expression like that! She knocked her shoulder against his and rolled her eyes.

“Yes, I’m sure.” She let out another scoff. “What’s there to be jealous of?”

“You never thought about being the youngest?” He dropped his voice, slightly scooting closer to her so that she would be the only one to hear his next words. “… I have.”

His smirk melted into his usual soft smile and she felt her curiosity peak interest.

“You sure?” She leaned forward and he dutifully lowered his head so that she could whisper to him. “… But if you were the youngest, how would you live without Huening Kai?”

She laughed as he pulled away, crimson covering his face.

“I said I thought about it! Not that I want it!” He whined and she quickly shushed him.

“I’m kidding. I’m totally kidding. Please don’t cry Soobinie. I’m sorry.” She chuckled, giving him a friendly squeeze on the arm.

He huffed but didn’t say anything, a petulant pout forming on his lips. So feeling sorry, she leaned forward to share her own secret.

“… I’ve thought about it too.”

Immediately the pout on his lips curved into a beaming smile and she looked down with a cough, unable to stare at his sparkling eyes for too long.

“… Really?”

It was a one-word question, but the way Soobin asked with a soft voice and sparkling eyes made it seem as if it were the most important question in the world. And Yeji was obliged into answering.

“Yes – Well, maybe not being the youngest… But I’ve always wondered what it’s like to have an older member…” She said wistfully, slightly rocking back as she pulled her legs even tighter to her chest. “Since I’m the leader, I’m always taking care of everyone, you know?”

“I can relate...” He chuckled. “… But I have Yeonjunie Hyung so it’s different.”

“Huh?” That caused her eyes to widen in surprise. “You’re not the oldest?”

“No. Yeonjunie Hyung is.”

“A few months doesn’t count Soobinie.” She dismissed with a sigh.

“It’s not a few months! He’s born in ’99. I’m born in ’00.” He pouted, his sparkling eyes doubling in size innocently.

“He’s born in ’99?!” She accidentally raised her voice.

“What?”

“Nothing…” Yeji hummed, turning away to hide her giggles while failing miserably.

 **That whole time, Yeonjun was older and she had no idea about it?** She imagined their high school days and tried to picture herself calling him Oppa. She shuddered at the thought and shook her head. Thank goodness, she never did.

“Yeah, Yeonjunie Hyung… Hyung’s amazing.” Soobin continued, looking down at the floor with a smile of admiration. “He’s good at everything. He’s out-going. And he knows everyone. He makes people feel at ease.”

“… You make me feel at ease, Soobinie.” The earnest confession spilled out from her lips before she could even process what she was saying.

But she didn’t regret it. Not when he was startled into a shy smile and he scrunched his body even smaller, making him look softer. She smiled at him in appreciation and gently bumped him with her shoulder, which he playfully returned.

The door slammed shut soundly, indicating the battle between Daehwi and his members was over.

“Finally! They’re gone!” Daehwi let out a dramatic cry of relief as he flopped to the floor face-down. “I thought they’d never go!”

He rolled over to his side and his eyes immediately honed in on the quiet pair.

“You two planning on whispering to yourselves all day?!” Daehwi’s insinuating voice caused Sanha to choke on a piece of chicken.

Yeji was used to Daehwi’s dramatics and would have scoffed, as she usually did, had it not been for the pair of hardened eyes that she met across the way.

Hyunjin was staring at her again, with that unreadable expression and for some reason, it caused her to blush. She immediately averted her eyes to glance at Soobin, only to see that his ears had reddened as he kept his face down.

“U-umm…” Even Bomin, who seemed the most assured of himself out of Daehwi’s friends, seemed flustered at Daehwi’s assuming voice.

“L-let’s give a round of applause… W-we finally got to meet Soobin!” Somehow, Sanha regained his voice and managed to let out a cheer, although his cheeks were bright red.

He clapped enthusiastically like a seal, causing the other three boys to follow suit. Even Hyunjin clapped, albeit apathetically with the cold expression remaining on his face.

Her body moved on its on, scooting closer to the circle to sit beside Daehwi, ignoring her natural tendency to sit beside Hyunjin. Now that she was aware of it, there was never a time when she and Hyunjin hung out that _weren’t_ sitting side-by-side. She ignored the ache in her belly, trying to distract herself by fixing her eyes on the cold food in the center of their circle.

“Puma’s choreography is amazing!”

Even though he talked with his mouth full, Yeji was thankful that Sanha kept the conversation going. He acted as a loud distraction from Hyunjin, with a loud voice and cute body gestures. She also thought it was cute that despite his earlier claims of being her fan, he was more fixated on Soobin than anyone else. It was downright adorable because they looked so similar, like two overgrown bunnies.

“I really like it!” Sanha’s cheeks were stuffed with chicken as he gave Soobin a big thumbs-up. “Like really, really!”

“T-thank you.” Soobin was shy with all the attention on him, but did his best to answer all the questions the excited boy spit out.

“My favorite part is the rap! _‘I toldjya!’_ It’s cool! That’s Yeonjun-shi right?”

“Y-yes.”

“Your part is cool too though! I like when you do that gesture saying _‘I miss my mom’s face’_.”

“O-oh…”

“Slow down.” Daehwi chided, rolling his eyes. “He’s not going anywhere.”

“I’m just tryna get to know him!” Sanha snapped before turning back his pleasant smile to Soobin. “My favorite choreography is definitely the beginning! Doesn’t it hurt your back when he stands on you like that though?”

“Of course it does.” Bomin snorted.

“I’m asking him! Not you!” Sanha squawked.

“It-it’s not too bad…” Soobin smiled awkwardly.

“You sure? I’d die if the Hyungs stepped on me!” The Astro members said in such a theatric way that it caused everyone to laugh.

Well, everyone except two Hwangs.

Yeji was more occupied with trying to make it out of the tension with Hyunjin unnoticed, but ‘her twin’ was making things extremely difficult. He wasn’t glaring at her or staring on her constantly, but she could feel his eyes flickering to her every now and then, and his gaze was _heavy_. Additionally, he hadn’t spoken a word since his cold introduction, which only increased her anxiety levels. At one point, their hands brushed against each other as they reached for a slice of pizza at the same time and she flinched, as if she had been burned by his skin contact. However, he wasn’t fazed and no one else seemed to notice her discomfort.

“I-it doesn’t hurt that much when we’re rehearsing… But it sometimes hurts during live performances… B-because of Yeonjunie Hyung’s shoes.” Soobin was oblivious, too occupied with trying to overcome his shyness to interact with the other boys.

“I see! Well, then…” Sanha was a chatterbox, with the goal of befriending Soobin as quickly as possible.

Bomin was quiet, yet focused on trying to keep Sanha in check. Even Daehwi, who was extremely perceptive and nosy, seemed blissfully ignorant, too amused by the interactions between Soobin and his other friends.

It amazed her that in a group of six people, how isolated she felt at the moment, troubled alone by her tension with Hyunjin. It wasn’t a big deal. It shouldn’t have bothered her.

“Hey! Hyunjin! Aren’t you tired too?! You’re still in the middle of ‘God’s Menu’! Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo!” Sanha exaggerated the Stray Kids choreography, causing Daehwi and Bomin to crack up as Soobin smiled awkwardly. Even Yeji giggled at his extreme gestures.

The only one without a huge reaction was Hyunjin, whose lips quirked up into a small smile.

“I’m alright…” He gave a curt nod.

“Yeah right! You’ve been awfully quiet these days!” Sanha squeaked as Bomin nodded.

“You must be tired.” Bomin gave him a sympathetic smile.

“Then why’d you guys drag a tired person here?” Daehwi raised an eyebrow at the other two boys, who both raised their hands in surrender.

“Don’t look at us!”

“It was his idea!”

That caused Yeji to lift her eyes towards him. He stared back at her and for a moment, it was as if time had stopped.

****

**_One look, one second of eye-contact, one glance…_ **

Chills ran through her and she tore her gaze away, blood rushing to her head. She looked down, doing her best not to show how affected she was as she attempted to regain her breath, but it was too late. Her heart had slowed down drastically and she felt strangled in her chest.

**It wasn’t a big deal. It shouldn’t have bothered her. But it did.**

**Because Yeji couldn’t tell what Hyunjin was thinking.**

**_One look, one second of eye-contact, one glance… was not working!_ **

“I’m gonna go.”

She stood up so quickly that all the boys stared up at her in confusion, but she didn’t care. She needed to get out before her emotions spilled over. She needed to get away from Hyunjin.

“Already?” Not even Daehwi’s look of disappointment could guilt-trip her into staying. His voice was practically a whine when he asked, his eyes looking at her almost pleadingly.

“I don’t want to be out too long… I’ll see you next time.” She felt dizzy, but she still forced one last smile before putting on her mask.

She needed to leave. She needed to get away from Hyunjin.

“… I’ll go too.”

She felt so out of it that she could barely process how Soobin also stood up quickly.

“My members are messaging me so I should go.” He came beside her, bowing politely to the others before turning to nod at her.

His round eyes served as an effective distraction and she found her breathing leveling. After they bid Daehwi and his other 00-liner friends good-bye, she kept her eyes on Soobin. She kept her eyes on the bunny-boy who prevented her from being consumed by thoughts of the boy who occupied the biggest space in her life. Once they were outside and the fresh air of the night filled her nostrils, Yeji felt grounded again.

“Is your manager coming?” She looked at the tall boy curiously.

“Yes… You?” He glanced up from his phone.

“I’m taking a taxi.”

“What?” He put his phone away, his complete attention on her.

“I’m technically not supposed to be out.” She giggled at the way his eyes popped out, shrugging nonchalantly.

“You don’t strike me as a person who would break the rules.” His eyes curved into crescent moons.

“Sometimes, you gotta live a little.” She shrugged again with a smirk, even though she knew he couldn’t see it.

She started opening up the app to call a taxi when he spoke again.

“I-I…” He stuttered, causing her to look at him curiously. “… I can ask manager Hyung to give you a ride.” He said all in one breath.

He was looking away, but Yeji could tell by his bright red ears that he was embarrassed. She smiled.

“Wouldn’t you get in trouble? For hanging out with a female idol?” She put her phone down as if to entertain his idea, but kept the app open.

“… But we’re friends.”

While that warmed her heart, she still booked the first taxi she found.

“We are…” She nodded her head. “But that doesn’t mean our companies will approve. We could get into trouble. Not just since I’m a girl, but also due to the corona virus. Even if I were a boy, your manager could be upset that he has to give a ride to a stranger, and for good reason too.”

Her managers had wigged out on them the other day at the mere suggestion of picking up and dropping off Chaeyeon due to her being in a different agency. How much more would Soobin’s manager freak out if Soobin asked him to take _her_ home with them?

She shivered at the thought of a scandal blowing up.

 **Nope, it wasn’t worth it.** It was just better to take a taxi and be safe rather than sorry.

“… But thanks for worrying about me, Soobinie.” She said cheerfully, reaching out to squeeze his arm for the 5th time of the day.

She couldn’t help it. He was so soft. (LITERALLY!) And thankfully, he didn’t seem to mind. If anything, he seemed used to it. Probably because his members were squeezing him on a daily basis.

“Sure…” He nodded at her and that caused her to give him another squeeze.

“I’ll be alright!”

Squeeze.

“I’ll do my best not to get caught.”

Squeeze. Squeeze.

“But if you don’t see me ever again, you’ll know why.”

She laughed at his gasp of horror, giving him one last squeeze before letting go.

“You’re so fearless.” He sighed, shaking his head. “Oh… Hyung’s here.”

She nodded at him to leave, but he hesitated for a moment.

“… Y-you sure?”

 **Sweet, considerate Soobinie.** She sighed in appreciation. He was so cute.

“Don’t worry. Don’t worry.” She waved away his concerns. “I-“

“I’ll take her.”

Yeji froze. Suddenly, she felt dizzy again as a rush of convoluted emotions flooded into her bloodstream, a painful squeeze in her heart as Hyunjin strutted next to her.

“We’re headed the same way.” He nodded at Soobin. “I’ll take her.”

“O-oh…Ok…” Soobin nodded, before giving her one last look. “Bye Yeji.”

She couldn’t even speak, thanks to the life-size disturbance next to her. She nodded mutely in response, her eyes fixed on him as he got into his manager’s van, waved at her through the window, and left.

And suddenly, the air was heavy and tension weighed her down like rocks. The sky might as well have been falling by the thickness in the atmosphere. And Hyunjin wasn’t even looking at her! His mere presence alone was doing this to Yeji’s body, stressing her out physically.

**So much for making things right in person.**

Yeji didn’t even want to look at him at the moment, thanks to the stress-induced environment. When she finally mustered her courage to glance at him, he wasn’t even looking at her. He kept his eyes forward, cold and callous, not sparing her a glance.

**How the heck were they supposed to make up?**

It was awkward. Even during the taxi ride back to her apartment, it was awkward, with Hyunjin refusing to make eye-contact with her the entire way. Had she known this would be the alternative, she would have accepted Soobin’s offer within a heartbeat. Sure, she might get in trouble for hanging out with a boy-idol, but the worst thing they could do was ban her from seeing him. And that didn’t matter because she couldn’t see him for a while anyways thanks to her upcoming comeback. But sitting in a car in awkward silence with Hyunjin was just pure torture, especially when there was unnecessary commentary from the taxi driver thrown into the mix.

“Young people these days make love so complicated.” Their driver was in his mid-fifties and had no qualms about rambling on to his customers. “There’s already a lot going on through the corona virus. Whatever you’re fighting about now will all be insignificant when your loved one’s on the hospital bed breathing their last moments. Young man, make up quickly with your girl. And you, young lady! Forgive him. Don’t be stubborn and make his life miserable!”

She couldn’t believe this. She was already in a terrible mood with Hyunjin and had to deal with a Dr. Phil wannabe on top of it? During their ride home? She held back a scream. She couldn’t even make it home, begging the taxi driver to drop her off a few blocks away from her apartment so she could walk.

After paying him, she dashed out of the car before she finished blinking. She couldn’t stand it. She yanked down her mask to take three large breaths, desperate for some fresh air to clear her lungs. As she was still inhaling her third breath, a voice to her side muddled her brain once again.

“Put your mask on. There’s still people around.”

She jumped up in fright, whirling around in a frenzy.

**Why was Hyunjin here?**

He still wasn’t looking at her, turned to the side as he scanned around. In fact, he didn’t look at her once as she scrambled to put her mask back on. She looked around in confusion. There was no one on the street with them. However, there were a few cars that passed by every once in a while so it was important to stay cautious.

Without another word, he started on his way down the street in the direction of her apartments. She silently followed, her eyes glued to his back as they went along the empty sidewalk – his cold and detached back.

It was June so it wasn’t chilly anymore and the air was humid, summer settling upon them. But at the moment, Yeji felt the coldest she had been as she stared at his aloof figure, the distance between them growing larger by the second. A wave of loneliness crashed over her and she stopped, devastation filling her entire being as she watched him leave her behind. **Again.**

Her heart ached.

He stopped. He stopped, but didn’t turn around, frozen in his footsteps. She could see his shoulders tense up and that made her feel even more derailed. For a moment, they stood in complete silence, tension thickening the air and space between them. She couldn’t stand it.

“… I don’t like this, Hyunjin.” Tears began to well up in her eyes. “I really don’t…”

**I don’t like fighting with you. I hate it.**

She swiped at her eyes with the back of her hand, only to stare at it in horror. It was too late. Her hand was damp and steady tears began to slowly drip down her face. She looked down, cursing at herself for being so weak as she bit her lip to hold back a sob.

She was losing her connection with Hyunjin. And she hated it.

She desperately tried to recompose herself, taking in a deep breath, only for a whimper to escape her lips. Both hands flew up to cover her eyes as she tried to suppress her tears, but she couldn’t stop crying, couldn’t stop trembling. But the next thing she knew, she was wrapped in strong arms.

Her mind went completely blank and she froze, her tears put to a complete stop at the sudden warmth that covered her. Instinctively her body became at ease, completely relaxed in the arms of someone it knew, someone she trusted. She dropped her hands from her face, allowing them to hand limply on her sides.

“… Me too.” He murmured against her ear.

His whisper sent a chill down her spine, causing her to shiver, but he responded by tightening his hold on her. Her arms came up to cling to his back and without thinking, she breathed him in, deeply. She buried her nose in his shoulder and took a huge waft of him in. Despite her mask, she could smell him clearly.

**He still used a flowery fragrance.**

It was funny because Hyunjin smelled like spring flowers on a rainy day and Yeji hated the rain like no other. But at the moment, there could have been nothing, _nothing_ that was more comforting that his scent.

 **Comforting**. She took another large inhale of him, his fragrance drying her tears as she rested her head on his shoulder.

**His scent was so comforting.**

Immediately her mind flashed back to their high school days to the first time their verbal argument ended up physical. They were in front of the locker rooms at _stupid-O’clock-in-the-morning_ , furious at each other. She couldn’t remember what they fought about or why she was so angry, but she definitely remembered how it ended – with both of them yanking their body sprays out of their backpacks and attacking each other with overwhelming fragrances. Anger soon dissolved into the air and then they were laughing, laughing as they continued to drench each other with pungent perfumes. They went home that day, reeking of pungent flowery scents with oily hair and sweaty bodies as they ribbed each other on their choice of fragrance. The fragrance that she despised then ended up being the scent she longed for now.

For the first time ever, Yeji didn’t say she was sorry. She always apologized for their arguments, but this time, she did not. However, it was ok, because Hyunjin didn’t either. They didn’t need to.

Hyunjin’s warm embrace and even warmer eyes that gazed at her so kindly when they pulled apart was an apology enough. And the warmest hand that held hers as he walked her to her apartment door was key indication of their reconciliation. Even after she had gone inside and was lying in bed, the warmth from his hand still lingered.

Warm.

**He was warm.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am overdue I know.   
> T.T sorry~   
> It's been a busy two weeks. 
> 
> But hey~   
> Our boy’s maturing, thank goodness!! XD   
> Sorry to disappoint all of you who wanted more drama ^^’  
> Personally, I’m not a big fan of prolonged drama where the main characters are just filled with angst and sorrow, unable to make-up because they’re so busy wallowing in their feelings.   
> (*cough unnecessarily long Korean dramas cough – don’t come at me! ^^’).   
> So while tempting, I thought it best to wrap up their argument nicely instead of giving y’all fillers when there’s the REAL drama’s coming up soon XD (spoiler alert)
> 
> As always, hope you enjoyed the chapter and let me know your feedback! ^^


	13. Epiphanies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so SORRY, everyone!   
> I didn't plan on going AWOL for the month of October.  
> I can't believe it's been more than 3 weeks since I've updated or responded to anyone T.T  
> It's been a busy month!  
> Anyways, as always, hope you enjoy.
> 
> On a side note, 1200+ hits! Thank you all so much for giving this story a chance!   
> I've certainly enjoyed writing it and I hope you've enjoyed reading it.   
> 2 more chapters to go so yay! We're almost there! ^^

As June ended and July came around the corner, Yeji was consumed by work once again. Itzy’s promotions were coming up in August so she and her members were thrown back into practice every day. While she had anticipated not being able to schedule any more hangouts with her friends for the time being, she didn’t expect that their overall communication would decrease, though in retrospect, she should have.

Daehwi’s presence in the chatroom was practically nonexistent once he started promotions and while Soobin was always responsive, he would hardly initiate anything. So slowly, she also began to withdraw herself as life became busier. Gradually, messages between her and Soobin decreased from every day to once a week, and then from once a week to once every few weeks. While it was sad that her social life was completely gone at the moment, she didn’t mind. After all, they were all idols; they understood the crazy schedules that came with their careers. The workaholic in her resurrected and she immersed herself into comeback preparations, eager to make the most of promotions with their limited platforms and multiple restrictions. In terms of her idol-work life, everything seemed back to normal (or as normal as it could be with the pandemic). Everything was set in place. Everything… **save for Hyunjin.**

Strangely enough, she started seeing Hyunjin a lot more. It was almost like last year, where they were working together on ‘Ryujin’s Love’ Hwang Scheme. She saw him at least once a week, sometimes more. It didn’t make sense because he was technically busy with Stray Kids promotions, but somehow, she’d bump into him at the most random of times. Sometimes it was just a quick ‘hi-and-bye’; other times, it was a prolonged hangout in-between breaks.

“Care for some variety in your life?” She raised an eyebrow at him as he rang up the items.

Today, she had gone to the convenience store with him to grab a bag of Choco Boys before they needed to head back to practice.

“The best things in life shouldn’t be compromised.”

He was dead serious.

“I can’t believe this falls under ‘the best things in life’.” She glanced down at the yellow package in her hands, shaking her head with a sigh.

“Those who disrespect Choco Boys don’t get-“

“I didn’t say anything!” She snatched the package back from Hyunjin, who had honed a judgmental look upon her. She blinked at him prettily and winked before saying in a sweet tone, “Thank you for the Choco Boys.”

He coughed and looked away in what she presumed was disgust and she giggled, falling back into line with him as they made their way back to the JYP building.

“ _Ooh whoa whoa whoa… Slowly it spreads._ ” Yeji’s voice echoed softly down the hall as she hummed Soobin’s new song, Puma.

She had to hand it to Soobin. That boy was amazing, with the versatility to fit any concept, from cute to sexy – a **_real_** idol. If she was being totally honest, her eyes did linger a second longer on a certain lemon-haired boy (not that she’d ever admit it out loud). **Whatever.** Lemon-heads were irrelevant. It was sweet, cute Soobinie that caught her attention with his professionalism and adaptability, at least that’s what she told herself. She also ignored the fact that her heart no longer hurt when looking at said-Lemon-head, but again, completely irrelevant.

“ _Ooh whoa whoa whoa…”_ She lingered in the hall, attempting to prolong her short break before having to hit the grind again. _“This blood that makes me run… run_ -”

“Do you even know **my** song?” An annoyed voice came out of nowhere, interrupting her small break.

She practically jumped out of her skin, letting out a squeak like a kitten. She whirled around and found herself face-to-face with a critical Hyunjin, gazing down at her with cold eyes. She blinked slowly, her brain taking a few seconds longer than usual to realize he had just asked her a question.

“…G---od’s Menu?” She looked at him dumbly.

He let out a scoff and looked away, making her feel slightly confused at his sudden sourness. But always being the one to reach out first to placate him, she sighed and dutifully broke into song.

“ _Du du du du du du… This is our tang, tang… tang_.” She said lifelessly, carelessly imitating the choreography.

She stood up straight and bore her brown eyes straight into his, so he could see and _feel_ how tired she was. However, he was unsympathetic, as always. **Jerk**.

“There’s four tangs.”

“What?” She blinked, feeling out of it as he gazed down at her frostily.

“There are four tangs. _Tang, tang, tang tang_.” He sneered.

 **Was he for real?** Yeji didn’t know whether she should laugh or slap him. She was seriously considering the second option.

“Does it… _matter,_ Hyunjin?!” She raised her hands, shaking her head in utter disbelief.

“’I wannabe me me me.’ The 3 me’s matter, don’t they? Tang matters too!” He lifted his head high like an arrogant cat.

“You’re ridiculous.” She felt a headache coming upon her as she rubbed her temple.

“You’re careless.”

“Because I didn’t say tang?!” She shot him a glare, but he continued to stare at her icily, unfazed.

“… Fine.” She gave in, feeling too tired to argue. “ _This is our tang, Tang… TANG **TANG**!_” She rolled her eyes at him. “You happy now?”

“Good job.” He grunted with a satisfied nod.

Thanks to that incident, the next time she heard ‘God’s Menu’, she found herself tensing up during the ‘Tangs’, counting to see if there were actually four each time. **There were.**

“Your hair’s getting long.” She commented drowsily, reaching up to touch the bleach locks that covered his nape.

It was past 3 in the morning and she had stayed behind again, as she did many nights now that she was allowed back into the practice rooms. All of her members were home, but Stray Kids had ran a late practice too so she was with Hyunjin and a few of his other members, sitting side-by-side in the lobby as they waited for a manager to take them home.

He hummed in response, not at all phased as she combed her fingers through his hair. No one else seemed to care either at what they were doing, as they were all too exhausted to notice anything out of the ordinary.

“… Pretty.” She was so tired, all of her random thoughts were coming out unconsciously. “So pretty…”

“My hair?” He snorted. “It’s super unhealthy now due to all the bleach.”

“Not your hair, silly…” She played with his locks, her sight starting to go blurry as she fought off sleep. “You’re pretty…”

She dropped her hand, facing him with a smile. She couldn’t even see him clearly due to the haziness upon her, but that didn’t stop her from gracing him with a gentle smile.

“… Pretty.”

“Prettier than you? For sure.” His eyes moved past her to stare at the door as he sat up straighter.

She giggled, not at all offended by his sarcastic comment.

“Of course. Of course you are.” She yawned, sitting up straighter as she stretched her limbs like a cat. “Pretty Hyunjin… You can act as my replacement for comeback.”

“And have to do double promotions? Heck no.” His flat voice caused her to let out a quiet laugh.

“Please…” She leaned towards him, doing her best to imitate sparkly eyes. “Pretty please…Hyunjinie? Don’t be mean!”

She let out a soft whine, which caused him to shoot her a blank look, but he remained quiet. She let out another giggle, the fatigue getting to her head as he muttered something under his breath.

“What’d you say?” She yawned again.

She was pretty sure she heard something along the lines of ‘do that again and I’ll do something really mean’, but it could have been her hallucination for all she knew. She was so sleepy, she was about to fall over. Besides, even if he did say it, it was an empty threat. Hyunjin was mean to her all the time.

“… Nothing.” He turned away from her.

He probably too tired to deal with her teasing at the moment so she stopped, her eyelids fluttering shut as she wrapped her arms around her legs.

It was apparent that she wasn’t the only one who noticed his sudden availability. Being called “Hwang Twins” was now a regular occurrence by staff members who found their ‘siblinghood’ beautiful. The Stray boys also had no qualms about bellowing, “Hwang Twins” in random spouts, snickering as they passed the Itzy’s practice room down the hall.

**Oh my gosh. It was like high school all over again.**

Yeji would just roll her eyes as her other members exchanged glances and giggles. Of course, her girls were also aware of Hyunjin’s active presence in her life, and made it _known_ that they were aware.

“So when’s the wedding?” Ryujin gazed at Yeji through the mirror, her eyebrows raised with a smug smirk on her face.

“Already?” Yeji feigned surprise, making her eyes go wide. “You and that Oppa are planning so soon? Before I get to meet him in person?”

At that, Ryujin’s face flushed a pretty pink and she immediately looked away, causing Yeji to feel extremely satisfied as the other members hooted.

“Oohh! She got you good, Unni!” Yuna laughed, extending her hand to Yeji’s in a high-five.

“Well… It wouldn’t be considered that early.” Lia added, a glimmer in her eyes. “Since Ryujin’s liked him for so long and-“

“Unni!” Ryujin glared at the group of laughing girls all around.

Yeji smiled affectionately to the blushing girl and winked at her before turning to lay on her side. Her eyes immediately shut as she curled on the floor like a kitty. She was still adjusting from 9 hours of sleep to 3 hours a night.

“Hey! Come on! That’s old news!” Chaeryeong chimed in a diva-like manner. “We gotta talk about the new stuff. What about our Unnis here?”

Her insinuating voice caused Yeji to snort as the other girls laugh.

“What about us?” Lia answered good-naturedly.

“I’m not worried about marriage.” Yeji said in a flat tone.

As she kept her eyes closed, she missed how her four members exchanged sly looks.

“Of course you’re not.” Lia sounded like she was stifling a giggle.

“Doesn’t surprise me.” Ryujin’s voice was nonchalant, but Yeji knew her well enough to know that the corner of the younger’s lips were curved up into a smirk.

“Unni doesn’t have to worry.” Chaeryeong agreed.

**Yeji had a bad feeling about this-**

“Yeah, because we all know Unni’s gonna marry Hyunjin Oppa.” Yuna said in a cheeky voice.

 **She knew it! Those sly ajjumas!** Once again, it was proven that her members were all middle-aged women stuck in youthful bodies.

“… Says who?” Yeji cracked an eye open to glance at the giggling maknae-line with a dry expression.

“My mom says that you’re supposed to marry your best friend. Your best friend is Hyunjin Oppa. Therefore, you’re marrying him.”

Yuna sounded so sure of herself that if she was talking about anyone BUT Hyunjin, Yeji would have been convinced for a second. But since the person who was being talked about was indeed Hyunjin, Yeji had no qualms about shooting down that idea and burying it so deep in the ground that it could never surface again. However, before Yeji could even say her rebuttal, someone else did so for her.

“If that’s the case, she should marry Daehwi.” Chaeryeong frowned, causing the Yuna to let out a screech of disapproval as Yeji scoffed.

Her group mates weren’t even united in thought when it came to whom she was supposed to marry? **Hilarious.** And what the heck was with the Chae sisters and Daehwi?

“She’s closer to Hyunjin than Daehwi.” Ryujin countered, a furrow in her brow.

“Debatable… But even if she is, there’s no guarantee that won’t change over time.” Chaeryeong argued.

“But-“

“There’s no guarantee that my friendship with EITHER of them won’t change over time.” Yeji cut them all off, rolling her eyes as she let out a sigh.

“That’s true… Then Unni! Want my Oppa?” Yuna asked, looming over Yeji with a playful smile.

Yeji could hear the exasperated scoffs of her other members, but decided to play along with the youngest’s game.

“…Sure.” She humored them.

“WHATTT??” They all shrieked, none of them expecting her to go along with it.

“He’s nice, handsome, and has a great sense of humor. What more could I want?” She said in a monotonous tone, turning over to gaze at her reflection in the mirror blankly.

“Hmm… That’s true. My Oppa is the best.” Yuna nodded, a thoughtful look on her face.

“Yah! Don’t be biased!” Ryujin called out, shaking her head with a laugh.

“I’m not! It’s a fact!” Yuna bristled, raising her voice as she looked at Ryujin slightly offended.

“Fact? On what grounds?” Ryujin had an amused smile on her face as Yuna puffed up.

“Everything!” The youngest shrieked, causing them all to burst into laughter.

“Sure, sure.” Lia tried to placate their maknae, nodding as her eyes crinkled into a smile.

“What do you mean, ‘sure, sure’?!” Ryujin laughed. “Unni! Don’t give into whatever she says!”

“Yeah… If we’re talking about just Stray Kids members, wouldn’t Chan Oppa be the best?” Chaeryeong asked thoughtfully.

That ceased everyone’s laughter immediately. Their eyes glittered with newfound interest as they all honed in their stares onto Chaeryeong.

“N-no! Wait! I meant for Y-Yeji-“ Chaeryeong blushed.

“Uh-huh.” Ryujin interrupted, exchanging predatory smiles with Yuna.

“Chan Oppa huh?” Even Yeji couldn’t help but smirk as she sat up properly.

“I meant for YOU, Unni! You’re both leaders! And he’s nice to you!” Chaeryeong was panicking now and it was downright entertaining due to the rarity of it.

“He’s nice to all of us.” Ryujin tried to keep a straight face, but ended up snickering which triggered giggles all around.

“No- I mean Yes, but- Um… Ah! You know…”

“We really don’t.” Yuna collapsed into Lia’s lap with laughter.

It seemed as if the youngest was enjoying Chaeryeong’s slip-up the most.

“Yes, you do Shin Yuna! You know! We all know!” Chaeryeong’s voice was a shrill now as she tried to talk over their laughter. “We know he’s the best- I mean most mature-“

“She said best!” Ryujin interrupted with another cackle. “She’s serious!”

“I said most mature!” Chaeryeong cried out, turning to Yeji with desperate puppy eyes. “Unni! You know what I mean! You agree right?! You would choose Chan Oppa out of all the Stray boys?!”

“She chose Felix.” Lia shook her head, laughter still trailing out of her own lips. “Truth or dare, remember?”

“But we all know that was a lie!” Yuna argued. “It’s Hyunjin Oppa for Unni? Right Unni?! Right?!”

And just like that, the attention was turned back to Yeji. From the corner of her eye, she could see Chaeryeong breathe out a quiet sigh of relief at the diversion of attention and she felt a headache coming upon her by the four pairs of sparkling eyes that looked at her with the utmost of curiosity.

“…There are over 7… BILLION… people in the world.” She looked at them in exasperation. “Why… on earth… are my options limited… to _THOSE_?” Yeji fell back to the floor, her hands coming up to cover her face as she let out a groan.

“T-those, she s-says.” Lia could hardly speak, completely breathless from laughing too much.

“ **Those**!” Yeji groaned again, her voice muffled from her hands as she did her best to block out the echoing laughter that surrounded her from all around.

After that day, **‘those’** became an inside joke amongst her members.

_“Unni, are we going to meet **those** today?” _

_“Unni, **those** are super loud today.”_

_“Yeji-yah, did you decide who your favorite out of **those** is?” _

_“Well, we definitely know which of **THOSE** Chaeryeong Unni’s favorite is~” _

Yeji agreed that Yuna deserved that flick on the forehead.

Pretty soon, August came around and it was almost time for Itzy’s promotions. At this point, sleep was a luxury and practice-to-perfection was everything; but she was happy. It was exciting preparing for comeback, getting ready to perform on stage and sing. She was also excited about meeting Midzys again, even if it was only through online platforms. She only had a few more days before they would officially begin promotions and Yeji was happier than she had been in a long time.

However, that didn’t mean that her body didn’t need breaks from her workaholic nature. She was still learning to balance between rest and work, so after seeing pure fatigue on all her members’ faces, she called for a quick break during their late afternoon practice.

“Can you go buy snacks, Unni?” Yuna called in a pitiful tone, looking up at her from the ground with puppy eyes.

Yeji was about to open her mouth in protest only to be met with four pairs of puppy eyes. All the girls had immediately collapsed to the ground as soon as she called break and she was the only one left standing. So with a resigned sigh, she took their orders.

“Coke and sweet corn chips!”

“Green tea please!”

“Shrimp crisps and choco pies!”

“Ice cream!”

“Yeah, ice cream!”

After jotting down all their orders, she put on her mask and jogged to the convenience store.

It was hot and wet – the hottest and rainiest it had ever been in Seoul. It had been raining for about a month straight, one of the worst of the monsoon seasons she had ever experienced in her life. She slightly shivered at the dampness she felt through the warm rain and picked up her pace.

It was only once she was in the safety of the store walls that she let out a sigh of relief. The fact that her members knew she hated the rain, yet sent her out to buy snacks for them anyways brought a wry smile to her face.

**Oh the duties of being a leader.**

She sighed as she quickly sped through the aisles, snatching the snack and drink orders off the shelf. Out of habit, she found herself reaching for a Choco Boy when she stopped – right next to the Choco Boys were the Homerun Balls. She stood up straight, her gaze caught between the two snacks of her youth.

 **Choco Boys or Homerun Balls?** She furrowed her brow.

Well… It had been a while since she had eaten Homerun Balls so maybe she should try them. They had new flavors now. Maybe the green tea ones would taste good.

She started to reach for a Homerun Balls package when she had a sudden flashback.

_“Homerun Balls are deceiving –as amazing as they are,” Hyunjin looked pointedly at Daehwi and Somi before they could jump on his words, “They’re deceiving!”_

_He turned back to Yeji, completely indignant._

_“Some balls have more chocolate than others. Some balls don’t have chocolate at all! You never know how much chocolate you’re gonna get! With Choco Boys, you can see everything. You get a generous amount of chocolate. And it’s the perfect balance of chocolate and cracker!”_

She blinked, a small smile quirking on her lips as she let out a soft chuckle.

At that time, everyone found Hyunjin’s impassioned speech about Choco Boys amusing with the exception of Yeji, who simply didn’t pay too much attention. But now, after many years, his speech came back to her, his words ringing as clear as a bell. In the end, the green tea Homerun Balls remained where they belonged on the shelf, but in her cart, two Choco Boys stood out amongst all the other snacks. Funnily enough, Yeji didn’t have to think twice about picking up an extra one for Hyunjin.

She had barely stepped out the door, bracing herself for the humid, sticky rain when her phone went off. She pulled it out from her pocket curiously and her eyes immediately widened at the Caller ID. She eagerly picked up before the third ring.

“The greatest music producer in the _world_ has the time to call ME?” She gasped exaggeratedly into the line. “I feel so special!”

“I’m gonna hang up.” Daehwi’s flat voice caused her to laugh.

“You called me first!” She chuckled as she did her best to stay covered on her way back, zigzagging through buildings with overhead roofs so she could momentarily shelter herself from the unrelenting rain. “If anyone should hang up, it should be **ME**! Out of revenge for not answering my texts or calls.”

“I-“

“And yet you’ve been active on social media every day, communicating with ABNEWs.” She let out a dramatic sniffle. “I see it how it is…”

“I-“

“I’m an ABNEW too.”

“Yeji-“

“The BIGGEST ABNEW that you know.”

“That’s debatable.”

“ _Debatable_?!” She gasped in mock offense. “Who’s a bigger ABNEW than me?! I buy all your CDs!”

“So does Hyunjin.” His voice was dry.

“I’m in the official fanclub! I sign up for your fanmeets!” She argued, a slight whine in her voice to let him know that she was pouting. “I watched your web drama! Your fancams! Does Hwang Hyunjin do all of that?”

“No…”

“See?!” She smirked triumphantly.

“But he also doesn’t overreact when I don’t answer his texts when I’m BUUUSSYYY.” He made a popping sound with his lips. “… So he might be my favorite ABNEW.”

“… I’m hanging up.”

“I said ‘might be’, not actually!” His voice became two pitches higher in panic. “And I called you back now, right?! Can’t you just forgive me already? Let it go!”

“ _Let it go~ Let it go~_ ” She broke into song and Daehwi joined her in half-a-second, causing her to laugh once more.

It was nice hearing Daehwi’s voice. Even without seeing him, she could tell he was a lot more vibrant than the last time when she saw him in person. He sounded stronger, a determined edge to his voice, reminding her of the sassy and honest boy she knew back in high school.

“… Do you really like Hyunjin more than me?” She asked in a soft voice, a part of her genuinely curious to hear the answer.

He sucked in a deep breath, remaining silent for a few seconds. She waited patiently.

“… Of course not.” His answer instantly warmed her chest.

“You like me more?” Her voice sounded as if she was in a daze.

“I like you the same.” He snorted. “Both of you are my important friends…”

“Fair enough.” She smiled. “You’re my important friend too.”

He hummed and she closed her eyes, picturing the pleased smile tugged upwards on his lips.

“You hanging in there?”

She was almost in front of the JYP building now. Her hoodie and her shoes were soaked with rain and she felt sticky from the humidity, but she kept her slow pace. After all, it wasn’t every day that she got to talk to Daehwi.

“I’ll survive.”

“No. You’ll thrive. You’re Lee Daehwi. Because you’re one of a kind.”

“Did you just quote ‘God’s Menu’ on me?”

“You caught the reference!” She grinned, clutching tighter to the phone. “Although technically the lyrics are, ‘Because WE’RE one of a kind’, not ‘you’re one of a kind’.”

“Close enough.”

“Hyunjin will flip if he hears me say even one wrong syllable.” She rolled her eyes, shaking her head as she recalled the incident a few days ago. “… Sensitive boy.”

“Me? Or him?”

“Both!” She laughed. “You’re both sensitive! SUPER sensitive!”

Daehwi sucked a deep breath over the line, but didn’t deny the accusation, causing her to smile.

“Sensitive boys…” She sang softly, her voice brimming with quiet affection. “Daehwi… and Hyunjin-“

“When were you planning to tell me about you and Hyunjin?” He said in one breath, cutting her off.

“… What?” She blinked.

She was inside the JYP building now, loitering in the lobby.

“You guys dating.” He was trying to keep his voice even, but she knew Daehwi well enough to hear the burning curiosity in his voice.

**Dating? What?**

“Huh? What are you talking about?” She frowned.

“Wow Yeji.” He scoffed in disbelief. “You’re playing dumb too? I thought we were closer than that. Also, you know you can’t fool me.”

“I’m not. What are you talking about?” Feeling puzzled, she took a seat on one of the couches and set the snacks down.

“That day at my studio!” His voice was urgent, causing her to feel even more confused.

“What about that day?”

“You guys were killing me with the tension in your eyes! It was so obvious that Hyunjin was jealous!”

**Jealous? The day at the studio? What-Oh. Oh…**

Immediately, her mind took her back to the day where she sat in suffocated silence, surrounded by inattentive boys as she struggled not to let her anxiety towards Hyunjin show. It seemed that Daehwi wasn’t as inattentive as she thought.

“Jealous? Daehwi… We were fighting at that time.” She relaxed into her seat, leaning back.

“What?!” His voice was so loud that she slightly winced at the almost-scream that pierced her ear.

“We got into an argument a few days before.” She chuckled, shaking her head at the misunderstanding. “We’re good now.”

“That doesn’t make sense...” He muttered.

“It’s been a while since you’ve seen us like that, huh?” She smiled wryly.

In their younger days, there were many times Daehwi witnessed Yeji and Hyunjin going at it. During those times, he would barge in the middle with a loud shriek to shut them both up. He’d never take sides; only yell at them to get it together – such was one memory out of many of their JYP trainee life together.

“I’m sorry for making you worry.” She said in a gentle voice. “We’re good now. We made up.”

“But… You guys-… Soobin-” He paused.

“Huh? Soobinie-“

“What did you fight over?”

“What? Daehwi, one at a time.” She giggled, rolling her neck as she stretched in her seat. “You’re talking too fast. What?”

“You fought! Don’t tell me… was it over Soobin?”

“… Soobinie?” Yeji frowned, mid-stretch. “Why would we fight over Soobinie?”

She paused.

 **Why did they fight again?** She still didn’t know the answer. They didn’t talk about it. They just made up.

“I don’t know… why we fought.” She said carefully. “… But I do know, we’re good now.”

He let out a sigh over the line and she waited. Hyunjin and Daehwi were close so maybe Daehwi heard something from the other Hwang about their argument. She waited patiently for him to say anything, growing more confused as to why his breathing over the line was becoming heavier.

“… Daehwi?”

It was a few more moments of silence before he finally spoke, and he did, he asked something completely out of her expectations.

“…Do you like him?” His voice was deathly serious.

“Huh?” She blinked, confusion settling over her again. “Like who? Hyunjin?”

“Soobin.”

“Soobin?” She blanked.

Weren’t they just talking about Hyunjin? How did it change to Soobin so quickly? And why?

“Of cou-“

“Not like as a friend!” He hurriedly added.

She could picture Daehwi leaning forward, resting his elbow on the table as he held the phone against his cheek with intense eyes. She could imagine the way his eyebrows knit together as he sucked in another deep breath before speaking in a breathless voice.

“… As a love interest.”

That surprised her.

**A love interest? Soobin?**

She blinked again. Why would Daehwi ask her that? And why in the same manner that he usually asked regarding things of utmost importance? Was it _that_ important? _Did it matter?_

“Soobinie…” She mused.

She closed her eyes and pictured him – sparkling round eyes that relaxed into crescent moons when he laughed, lips that naturally curved up into a smile, pale skin that was as soft as mochi, and lanky height that seemed so small even though he towered over everyone else. She ran through her memories with him. She recalled eating sweets together, exchanging shy glances and careful words. She looked back to how they grew closer, allowing her to squeeze him, nudge him, pat him. She thought about the many messages they exchanged over the past few months, consisting of raccoon gifs, daily greetings, and requests to hang out.

She was aware of the warm feelings she had towards Soobinie – quiet affection that lapped at her heart like delicate ocean waves whenever she looked up at that innocent face; genuine fondness that filled her heart whenever she heard his laughter; complete endearment that wrapped around her whenever she smirked at the pout on his face.

She liked him, really liked him. Who wouldn’t like him? Soobin was so sweet and kind. But…

**He was only a friend.**

“… I do.” She smiled at Daehwi’s deep exhale over the line. “But in the same way, I like you. I like him… as a friend.”

And that was the truth.

“Lies.” Daehwi’s voice was monotonous. “You like him more than me.”

“That’s not true!” She protested, startled into a giggle. “I like you both equally!”

“You don’t blush when you’re with me!”

“I don’t blush when I’m with him!”

“Well he does!”

“He blushes with everybody!”

“With you, even more so!”

“That’s ‘cause I tease him!” She let out an exasperated sigh, although the smile remained on her lips at the thought of the pretty pink that stretched across his face and ears when she kidded around. “And I tease you the same amount I tease him!”

She heard him suck in a breath and chuckled softly, shaking her head as she leaned back into the soft cushions.

“… I thought you liked him.” When he finally spoke again, his voice was quiet, yet vulnerable.

“Did it seem that way?” She asked in a kind voice.

“Or that you would… eventually.” He spoke as if he were laying out his raw feelings in front of her, hesitant, yet open. “When we were hanging out, you were always looking at him. I thought it was a crush.”

It was a misunderstanding. It shouldn’t have been a big deal. Yet something in Daehwi’s voice caught Yeji’s attention and she found herself thinking deeper about her tall bunny friend.

“…Was it a crush?” She mused. “I think it was more… interest.”

“Interest?”

“Well… I’ve never met anyone like him... Someone so shy and sweet. Someone so introverted, yet caring. Someone-“

“So tall and handsome? So clumsy and cute? Considerate? And tall? Freakin’ tall.” Daehwi’s voice was back to its normal volume and obnoxious level, causing her to giggle.

“Yes! All of those!” She agreed in a teasing voice. “Someone taller than Daehwi. Someone more considerate than Daehwi! Someone more-“

“Don’t say what we all know!” His whine caused her to dig her back deeper into the cushions as she laughed. “I get it! I get it! He’s more handsome than me! He’s taller than me! He’s better than me in every way! I get it!”

“That’s not true!” More giggles to escaped her lips. “I-I was going to say… someone more… cl-clumsy than Daehwi!”

“Uh-huh!” His voice was dripping with sarcasm.

“Daehwi!” She laughed again, covering her mouth with her hand as she tried to keep quiet.

She didn’t want to attract any of her staff members’ attention right now.

“So interest,” He coughed, trying to regain her attention, only to huff when she giggled again. “You said interest!” He repeated in an annoyed tone.

“Yes! Yes! Interest!” She did her best to swallow the rest of her giggles back into her gut. “So he’s someone who’s sweet! Someone’s who’s cute! So cute! Someone who puts me at ease! Someone-” She froze, the realization she knew from the first day they met coming back to hit her like lightning. “Someone… someone like me…” Her voice trailed off as she fell into a daze.

Yeji meant every word she said the last time she met Soobin in person – he was someone who put her at ease, someone whose presence she enjoyed. But that was the extent of it. Why? **Because he was someone so similar to her.** Sure, the first few months of their meeting, she had been actively engaging with him, thinking about the boy who was as soft as the bread he loved. In a way, it was a strange infatuation she had. But that quietly melted into pure appreciation for him. She still thought he was the cutest boy in the world and there were times she wanted to reach up and tug those ears that had reddened in embarrassment, but there were no intense feelings of butterflies rushing through her or her heartbeat slowing down drastically. There was no urge to chase after him, to look for him intensely.

“… He’s just like me, isn’t he?” She asked quietly, staring up at the ceiling with glazed eyes.

“… Kind of.”

Hearing Daehwi’s calm voice confirm it made her feel even more light-headed.

“I haven’t talked to Soobinie in a few days.” She said pensively. “…Actually, not in a few weeks.”

“Does that bother you?” Daehwi’s voice was gentle, so gentle, as if he were trying to comfort her.

“No.” Her immediate response surprised her more than anything. “No, not really… I understand since we’re all busy right now.”

A sense of peace that washed over her, feelings of calmness filling her heart as she consciously sorted out her true feelings regarding her tallest friend.

 **Cute. Soobinie was so cute. And sweet. And fun to be around.** **But only when they were together.**

When she was with him, she had fun. When she wasn’t with him, he wasn’t on her mind. He was a friend that she appreciated and enjoyed… But he was also a friend she could do without. They could go months without texting and when they met up in person, she knew they’d still have a good time hanging out. Because that’s just how they were. That’s just how their relationship worked. So in a sense, she didn’t _need_ Soobin, not in every day life. She wasn’t dependent on him and neither was he dependent on her. She didn’t need Soobin and he didn’t need her.

The funny thing about Soobin was that he wasn’t the only one who was similar to Yeji. There was another person in her life that was almost identical to her when it came to her strengths and weaknesses. But that person was special.

She blinked, the slow realization coming upon her.

**She liked Soobin, but didn’t need him. She didn’t need Soobin…**

**_Not like how she needed-_ **

“And Hyunjin?” Daehwi’s voice interrupted her train of thought.

She blinked, struggling to process Daehwi’s sudden question in her vulnerable state.

“Hyunjin?” She yawned, a wave of fatigue crashing over her out of nowhere, causing her mind to go blank.

“Hyunjin.” He repeated more firmly.

“… What about Hyunjin?” She sat up properly, trying to shake off the sudden drowsiness she felt.

“You like him.”

That woke her up instantly. Her eyes widened and she let out a gasp of disbelief because Daehwi didn’t ask her; he told her. He stated those three words with the most certainty she had ever heard, in a voice so strong and crisp that was full of unwavering conviction. **And he was wrong.**

“No!” Her voice was so loud, it attracted a few strange glances. She smiled apologetically to the random staff members before lowering her head to hiss into the phone. “Are you crazy?”

“Or he likes you. One of you likes the other for sure though.” His unapologetic voice caused her eye to twitch.

“What on earth…” She muttered, still shocked with disbelief. “No! No one likes the other for sure! What the heck, Daehwi?!” Her voice was quiet, but sharp, which she hoped was an indicator to him about how shocked she was. “You just asked me about Soobin? Why’d you jump to Hyunjin?”

“Because Soobin was the only x-factor that threw my analysis off.” He spoke candidly. “Now that he’s settled, I see that he hasn’t affected the outcome at all.”

“Which is?”

“You and Hyunjin.”

“What about us?”

“You like each other. Congratulations.”

Yeji would have laughed or brushed it off with a scoff if it wasn’t for the fact that Daehwi was completely serious. His grave voice entirely void of humor rendered her speechless.

“Daehwi… I… I think you need to head to the hospital…” When she finally found her tongue, she spoke solemnly. “Quarantine has officially gotten to your head. You’re becoming delusional.”

“What the-“ He cursed, but she refused to be cut off.

“You’re not sick, are you?” She continued wryly. “It is scientifically proven that long periods of isolation can-“

“Yeji-“

“-cause lapses in mental health… Possibly leading to hallucinations-“

“Hwang Yeji!”

“-and as your friend, I strongly suggest you get the self-care you need and-“

“HWANG YEJI!” His voice almost caused her to go deaf in one ear.

“Lee Daehwi.” But she spoke with defiance. “You’re not making sense!”

“I’m making PERFECT sense!”

“About me and the biggest drama king at JYP?” She hissed. “You just threw out a groundless accusation. That’s how rumors start, Lee Daehwi! You don’t even have proof!”

“Proof?” He let out an exasperated scoff. “Yeji, I don’t need proof! Your relationship is the proof and it stands on itself!”

“Our relationship? Daehwi, we’ve been friends practically the same amount of time he and I have been friends. That’s not proof!”

“You’re always together.”

“What the heck? No, we’re not! I hardly see-“

“For all the important moments, you’re always together!”

“We’d always be together too! If you’d answer the phone!”

“We are NOT talking about you and me, Hwang Yeji.” He sneered over the line. “We’re talking about you and Hyunjin.”

“There’s no difference.”

“There’s a HUGE difference!” He emphasized. “For one, I don’t get jealous when you hang out with other guys.”

“You threw a major fit about me and Soobin getting fish buns.” She deadpanned.

“Because I was left out! Not because I was jealous of Soobin!”

“And you’re suggesting that Hyunjin was?”

“I KNOW he was!” His voice was forceful. That caused her to stiffen.

“… Did he tell you?”

“No.”

She immediately relaxed.

“Then you-“

“He doesn’t need to tell me! I have EYES, Hwang Yeji! I can see!”

“See what?”

“See that whether you realize it or not, you two are **dependent** on each other! Seriously… You two are closer than you think. You’re closer than me and Somi! Closer than me and Hyunjin! You **need** each other!”

And the hard truth of that statement robbed her of the ability to speak. She struggled to form words on her lips but there were too many thoughts clouding her mind.

**Close... Dependent… _Need_!**

She knew they were close, but to the point of dependence? That wasn’t true, was it? But then every Hwang Scheme, every moment in her life that he was there all came rushing back to her and she was struck with an epiphany: From the time she came to Seoul at fifteen years old, Hyunjin was there – teasing her, fighting with her, comforting her, holding her, being with her. He wasn’t always beside her, but for all the **important** moments in her life, he was.

**And it never crossed her mind to have it any other way.**

Shock started spreading across her lungs, knocking the breath out of her. The fact that Hyunjin was next to her, she always took for granted. She had become so used to him that it hurt her when he wasn’t there. She experienced this the last time they fought, and yet the realization of the gravity of his presence in her life was still foreign to her.

“Yeji-“

“But that doesn’t mean we’re close in that way…” Desperation pulsed through her veins and her voice was hoarse as she shook her head fiercely, even though Daehwi couldn’t see it over the phone.

She didn’t know how to handle it. They were close, but having **_that_** type of relationship with Hyunjin? The mere thought of it terrified her.

“He’s my friend. One of my closest friends. I appreciate him and trust him. And that’s all.” Her voice was quiet, but pressed.

Hyunjin and her had been close for years. They became friends as high school kids and they’d remain friends for life. And nothing was going to change that. Yeji would make sure of it.

**Nothing was going to change that… But-**

“What if there’s more?” His quiet voice made her blood run cold.

 **How the heck did Daehwi know the doubts that clawed at the back of her mind?** It was scary how real those doubts became when voiced out, forcefully laid out for Yeji to see.

“What do you mean?” She tried to play it off as she always did.

Every time even a sliver of those thoughts came out, she shoved them back into her gut with all her mind, denying their very existence. She forced every ‘but’s’ and ‘maybe’s’ into the dead part of her brain where no one would have access to those thoughts. She didn’t like Hyunjin like that. She was mentally incapable to. It was too _terrifying_ to-

“I think you just don’t want to admit it.” He breathed out, causing her to freeze.

And just like that, the air shifted between them. The atmosphere changed, because there was an unspoken, but VERY clear, _‘Like he has’_ , that followed that statement. Cold air filled her lungs and her breathing became heavy. Panic skyrocketed in her and she honed in every ounce of control she had to re-capture her mind to calm herself down. She shifted awkwardly in her seat.

“He… I-I don’t…” She slowly shook her head, only to realize Daehwi couldn’t see it causing her to giggle in embarrassment. “I really don’t… I can’t.”

“What do you mean you can’t?” His sharp voice came back strong.

“Daehwi, this is Hyunjin we’re talking about! Hwang Hyunjin? The guy I used to lose my voice over because I was yelling too much. My twin? Please, Daehwi… That’s just ridiculous.” She forced a smile on her lips, trying to make her voice as light as possible. She couldn’t have Daehwi picking up on her nervousness now.

“Love makes us ridiculous.”

“But not THAT ridiculous!” She giggled awkwardly, ignoring the raw feeling in her throat she felt at her own words. “Like I literally can’t! I- Oh, speaking of him,” She was startled at the sight of Hyunjin down the hall.

She abruptly stood up. She needed to put a stop to this ‘love makes us ridiculous’ nonsense before it made her think and feel even more things she shouldn’t. She was about to call out to him when out of nowhere, Lia appeared behind the corner. Before Yeji could blink, Lia had somehow stumbled on her own feet, falling to the ground with an undignified yelp. Yeji’s eyes widened, but before she could rush over to help her friend, someone beat her to it.

Hyunjin was kneeling in front of Lia, his hand poised and outstretched in front of her… **Looking like a fairytale prince.** She took the hand that he offered gratefully, allowing him to help her to her feet. As they stood up, he kept his hands on her until she regained her balance. There was a furrow in his brow as gazed down at her with concerned eyes. Lia had an embarrassed smile on her face and covered her mouth shyly before bowing politely. She thanked him with a beautiful expression on her face and Hyunjin’s cheeks flushed.

Yeji froze, her whole body stiffening, as she witnessed a scene out of a Korean drama come to life before her eyes. They were standing too far away for Yeji to hear anything, but she didn’t need to. Their eye-contact and body language was enough for her to understand. And it was at that very moment, she remembered exactly why she couldn’t like Hyunjin like that; why she would NEVER like Hyunjin like that.

_“This is Jisu Unni!” Somi announced per her usual custom of introducing the new trainee, in a booming voice like she was advertising the newest iphone. “Isn’t she pretty?”_

_The boys coughed and Yeji could see how they had all turned different shades of red, but she was only interested in one person’s reaction. She kept her eyes on Hyunjin, a smirk forming on her face at his flushed cheeks._

**_Interesting._ **

_She watched in fascination at how his eyes darted around nervously; how he licked his lips to speak, only to snap his mouth shut; how he started fidgeting with his hands._

_She took a subtle step closer, her eyes boring so intently into him that he had no choice but to meet her gaze. His eyes came up and finally met hers, and she saw how they quivered, his pupils so dilated that his eyes almost appeared black._

**_One look, one second of eye-contact, one glance…_ ** _And Yeji could immediately identify what he was feeling._

**_Desire. Want. Longing. –_ ** _She recognized those emotions in a heartbeat._

_She covered her lips with her mouth, trying to stifle a giggle but failing miserably. He shot her a quick glare before averting his eyes again, mumbling some excuse about how he had to go before scurrying out of the room as he dragged another member out with him._

_“Unni, you’re that happy to see Hyunjin Oppa?” Somi nudged her as they made their way back to the girls’ practice room with a teasing voice._

_While she would have normally rolled her eyes or refuted the younger for her teasing, Yeji’s grin widened._

_“I’m happy I got to see something interesting.” She chuckled, the image of Hyunjin with strawberry cheeks engraving itself into her mind._

_It was the first time she had ever seen Hyunjin like that, with eyes as black as ebony piano keys, crimson stretched across his face, his lower lip slightly trembling. He just looked so-_

“… Yeji? Hwang Yeji? You there?” Daehwi’s voice snapped her back to reality.

**I can’t.**

A pang in her heart caused her to take a step back and she tore her eyes away from the sight in front of her. The childish feelings of amusement and smugness from that past memory were long gone; in its place, confusion, hurt, and panic remained. Every single doubt and wish she had tucked away in the back of her mind came spilling over, tearing at her heart.

_Where’s Hyunjin? Wait… Why am I looking for him? Whatever… Where is he?_

_Where’s Hyunjin? He’s not that bad. He’s… comfortable, I guess. I don’t know._

_Where’s Hyunjin? I need Hyunjin… Where is he?_

_Where’s Hyunjin? We’re always holding hands… His hands are warm. Is this what it’s like to have a- No… What are you thinking, Hwang Yeji? That’ll never happen._

_Where’s Hyunjin? I wish… What if we were together? Would he keep holding my hand?_

_Where’s Hyunjin? Why am I always his last priority? Wait, what am I feeling? Forget it._

_Where’s Hyunjin? Hyunjin’s so pretty. Handsome too… And pretty. What if we were married? Our kids would look pretty. Wait what? Why am I thinking like this?_

_Where’s Hyunjin? I need Hyunjin… Where is he? Where is he? Where’s Hyunjin? **I need Hyunjin. Hyunjin?**_

**I need Hyunjin.**

She reeled, falling back and thankfully, landing on the couch.

**I need Hyunjin… I… Hyunjin… I like- No!**

She tried to shake the thought away furiously, but it was too late. Suddenly, every bone in her body tensed up and it was as if every atom in her being was made aware of it. Suddenly, her hands felt so cold, as if it craved someone’s warmth, and she felt a void in her heart that made her drop.

When she closed her eyes, she saw it clearly – a young Yeji and Hyunjin running hand-in-hand, identical cat-like smirks on both their faces as they ran away from trouble… only to be replaced with a scene of Lia and Hyunjin holding hands with mirror smiles of radiant joy on their faces. She watched as they held hands and walked away, getting further and further away from her as they eventually disappeared. And left her behind.

“Daehwi, I can’t. I-I can’t… Not Hyunjin.” **She couldn’t.**

Not when Hyunjin would one day leave her behind; when one day, his back would be the last thing she’d see permanently before he left. Only this time, he wouldn’t turn back for her. He’d keep going.

“… Not Hyunjin.” She repeated quietly, speaking to Daehwi, but more so, to herself.

She vowed she’d never fall for another person who would leave her behind or would make her his last priority. She wouldn’t fall for someone who couldn’t make extra room in his heart for her, who had no room in his heart for her, just like her first love; just like _Yeonjun_.

She flinched at the thought, but lingering trauma from her first love experience only sealed her decision. She wouldn’t _lik_ -… She wouldn’t _go beyond_ her current relationship with Hyunjin. Friends, partners, twins **–** that’s what they were; that’s what they always would be. And she wouldn’t ask for more. She wouldn’t acknowledge the possibility for more. Not with Hyunjin, at least. Not ever.

**Not with Hyunjin.**


	14. Lovesick Girl

“Unni… Unni look-” Yuna’s voice hushed as her cheeks became rosy, her hand on Yeji’s arm in a death grip.

Yeji was already looking, even before the younger said anything, captivated by the sight in front of her eyes.

In terms of setting, there was nothing beautiful about it – just the backdrop of gritty walls, rusty metal handrails, and beige steps muddied beyond cleaning. Yet there was something simply _mesmerizing_ about the scene just a few steps above them. Maybe it was due to the simplicity of it, or maybe… because it was a moment of pure love.

Ryujin and Byeongkwan weren’t even holding each other. They weren’t locked in a cheesy embrace or exchanging heated kisses. They were barely holding hands and in fact, it looked like Ryujin was playing with the older boy’s fingers rather than keeping them interlocked like most couples would have done. There was nothing sensual happening between them. And yet the way they looked at each other made it seem as if they were the most intimate in the world.

Ryujin was radiant, with sparkling eyes and a broad smile as she gazed up at the older boy’s face. Byeongkwan was no different, an unusual softness to his sharp features as he peered down at her so gently. In contrast to the grimy staircase, Byeongkwan and Ryujin were dazzling; they _shone_ , illuminated by their mutual affection to one another, pure devotion to each other.

**So that’s what love looks like…**

Yeji found her cheeks heating up as she witnessed how Ryujin’s face lit up at the person she loved, only to receive that same love in return. She was so enchanted by the sight that she couldn’t even hear what they were saying even though they were only a few feet away. She felt like she was in a daze, spellbound by the scene of love in front of her.

A cough from her side broke the spell and she turned to see Yuna nodding at her impatiently, cheeks still rosy from embarrassment.

**That’s right. They had to return soon, before staff got suspicious.**

“I-It’s almost time for Itzy to perform.” Yeji purposely raised her voice as she turned around.

She also made some stomps with her foot so that it echoed through the staircase, signaling a warning. With one more exaggerated stomp, she nodded at Yuna and they began to walk down the staircase, back to the exit. She snuck a quick look behind and caught a bit of Ryujin’s final exchange with him.

“Bye Sunbaenim.” Ryujin bowed politely, although there was no mistaking the teasing tone in her voice.

Byeongkwan scoffed, but the uncontrollable grin on his face was as plain as day. He also bowed back to her.

“Bye Baby.” He said in such a casual voice, it caused Ryujin to blush.

“Oppa!” She whined as he snickered.

And without warning, he leaned forward and planted a quick peck on her lips.

Yeji’s face burned as she immediately tore her eyes away, hurrying her footsteps as her heart thumped in her chest. As she left, she could hear Ryujin’s voice softly echoing in the staircase.

“I love you…”

“I love you more…”

Those words engraved themselves into her heart, echoing into the lonely chasm of emptiness inside her.

“Ryujin Unni’s so luuccckkyyyy…” Yuna whined, throwing herself onto the living room couch.

“Because?” Chaeryeong raised an eyebrow.

“She has a man who’s nice and takes care of her!”

“You want a boyfriend too, Yuna-yah?” Lia asked good-naturedly, reaching out to pat her head.

“No boyfriends until graduating high school.” Yeji shot the youngest a pointed look.

“You let Ryujin hit on him before we graduated.” Chaeryeong snorted, causing Yeji to flush. “Why are you pulling the ‘graduate high school’ card now?”

“I did not! And that’s ‘cause-“

“Unni sounds salty.” Yuna cackled, interrupting the older two. “You don’t need to worry. You can date Chan Oppa whenever you want.”

Yeji and Lia exchanged dry smiles as Chaeryeong rushed over to the youngest with a vengeful spirit.

“Shin Yuna, I swear! One more word out of you about that and I’ll-“

“Save me!” Yuna shrieked, jumping to her feet as she raced behind Lia. “I’m too young to die!”

“Then don’t mess with death.” Ryujin snickered as Chaeryeong glared.

“Unni! Make her stop! Make them BOTH stop!” Chaeryeong complained, glancing at Yeji in a mixture of distress and annoyance.

“What did I do?” Yuna made her eyes go wide in faux innocence with an angelic voice to match.

“You brat! I was just trying to defend you! Forget it! Just wait until after high school for a boyfriend then!” Chaeryeong snapped, letting out a huff.

“Eww… I don’t want a boyfriend. Boys are stupid!” Yuna made a face, causing them all to laugh as Chaeryeong let out a scoff of disbelief.

“Then why’d you say Ryujin’s lucky?” Lia asked good-naturedly, keeping the youngest’s arms around her waist.

“She doesn’t have a boy! She has a MAN!” Yuna frowned, her arms tightening around the older.

“And you have me.” Lia quickly turned her head to place a kiss on Yuna’s cheek, causing the maknae to let out a shriek as she released the older from her hold.

Yeji remained quiet throughout this whole exchange, a small smile on her lips. She shook her head with a sigh, watching as Yuna and Chaeryeong exchanged a few more harmless barbs about their respective love lives. And while she smiled outwardly, once again, she was reminded of the quiet emptiness she felt on the inside.

Yeji lay down on her bed, on the verge of crashing, when she noticed Ryujin’s serene expression as she stared down at her phone.

“… I can feel your love from here.” She smiled at Ryujin’s pretty blush. “It’s keeping me awake. Tell him I said good night too.”

“Stop Unni! I get enough from Yuna and Chaeryeong!” Ryujin groaned, covering her face with her pillow.

“Just making sure all my hard work paid off.” She winked, prompting Ryujin to chuck the pillow at her head in response.

“Hey! Just for that, this is mine.” She tucked the soft pillow in her arms as she snuggled in her blankets.

“No, Unni!” Ryujin whined, jumping up to rush to Yeji’s bed. “That’s my favorite pillow!”

“Not anymore it isn’t.” Yeji laughed, hugging the pillow against her chest as she gazed at Ryujin in mock-defiance. “Mine!”

“No!” Ryujin leaped onto the bed, landing on top of Yeji.

“Ompf! Ryujin!”

“Give it back!” Ryujin grabbed at it.

“You gave it to me!” She sang-sung, holding the pillow in a death grip as she rolled over to her side.

“Mine!”

“Mine!”

“Fine!” Ryujin stopped wrestling, choosing to roll over beside Yeji instead. “Then I’m sleeping right here!”

“R-Ryujin- Y-you,” Yeji sputtered, but it was too late.

Ryujin had already dived underneath her covers to join her, wrapping her arms around Yeji like a clingy koala, the pillow long-forgotten.

“Ryujin, I give up. Take it back.” Yeji tried handing the pillow over, but Ryujin only tightened her hold around Yeji’s waist.

“Too late. I found a new pillow.” Ryujin’s voice was smug as she nuzzled her head against Yeji’s cheek. “Mine.”

“ _Mine_?” Yeji snorted. “What’s yours?”

“This!” The younger answered cheekily as she gave Yeji a slight squeeze.

Yeji let out a scoff, but couldn’t hide the smile that curved up on her lips as Ryujin giggled. For a minute, they laid in silence, staring up at the ceiling as they basked in the comfortable quiet of their room.

“… So when do I get to meet him?” Yeji broke the silence first, slowly turning her head to face Ryujin. She watched as Ryujin’s face beamed.

“He’s asked the same thing about you…” The younger chuckled quietly. “He said he wants to treat you and Hyunjin out for lunch sometime. When quarantine’s over maybe?”

“So next year?”

“No!” Ryujin laughed. “Sooner than that!”

“The way it’s going, we may be like this for a while.” Yeji averted her eyes to stare back up at the ceiling wistfully. “…We never know the future.”

“True… But I’d like to believe that things are getting better. God hasn’t abandoned us yet.” Ryujin turned to give her a wink, startling Yeji into a small smile.

“… Thankfully.”

“Yes, thankfully!”

They both giggled at that.

It was funny. They both should have been asleep by now, exhausted from all their schedules, but they were wide awake. They were too excited to be asleep, too comfortable. It had been a long time since they spent time like this, with just the two of them cuddled closely together as they shared their hopes for the future or wishes in the present. And it was nice. It was nice to be next to each other. Yeji waited another moment and a half before speaking again.

“… Ryujin.”

“Yes Unni?”

“What do you like about him?” Yeji’s voice was so quiet, she didn’t know if Ryujin heard her even though they were lying side-by-side.

“What’s with that?” Ryujin laughed softly. “Why the sudden question?”

“… Just curious.” Yeji mumbled, a sudden surge of embarrassment spreading over her body like a sickness.

Ryujin turned to glance at the girl beside her and immediately, her eyes softened.

“I like you more, you know.” She cuddled closer to the elder, rubbing her soft cheek against Yeji’s smooth one.

“Hmm…”

“I’m serious!” Ryujin pouted at Yeji’s lack of enthusiasm.

“The past six months seem to indicate otherwise.” Her deadpanned voice startled Ryujin into another giggle.

“Unni!” She laughed. “How so? Come on! You know I love you more.”

Yeji’s bland hum caused Ryujin to elbow her in the ribs playfully.

“Ow…”

“That’s what you get for doubting my love!” Ryujin teased, causing Yeji to let out a scoff as she averted her eyes back to the ceiling, waiting patiently for Ryujin’s response.

“But to answer your question…” Ryujin’s eyes became cloudy with fondness as a beautiful smile formed on her lips. “Everything.”

“… Everything?” Yeji turned back to face her, puzzled.

“Well maybe not everything, but almost everything… Everything that matters.” Ryujin chuckled. “I like how he’s caring. He’s always taking care of someone – not just me, but his members too. I admire him as an idol. He sings and dances really well.”

“He’s phenomenal.” Yeji agreed. “He has so much charisma when he performs.”

“Right!” Ryujin perked up happily. “He’s really disciplined too. He works out and takes care of himself. He’s also… soft.” She let out a dreamy sigh. “He’s so soft on the inside, but cool on the outside.”

“Like a tsundere?”

“Kind of, but without trying to be… He also surprises me sometimes. Like he can be very affectionate too.”

“He’s touchy, isn’t he?”

“How’d you know?!”

“…” Yeji coughed, heat rushing to her cheeks as her memory suddenly flashed back to the scene she had witnessed earlier in the day at the staircase.

“Unni!” Ryujin blushed. “Were you spying on me?”

“Of course not! But if you’re gonna kiss in the stairway, someone’s bound to see it!” Yeji retorted hotly, trying to control the heat that rushed to her cheeks.

“Ah!” Ryujin covered her face with her pillow embarrassedly. “…Please tell me you were the only one.” She moaned.

“I was the only one who saw it.” Yeji promised.

Yuna was there with her, but Yeji was certain the youngest didn’t witness the same PDA she did. The youngest was too eager to get out of the staircase that she completely missed it, Yeji was sure of it. After all, Yuna would have brought it up if she saw it.

“I swear! Oppa’s so needy! The day we get caught, it’s going to be all his fault!”

“… It wouldn’t be too bad.” Yeji struggled to keep her face and voice neutral as Ryujin turned to her curiously. “At least if that happens, you’ll be able to kiss in public-“ She yelped as Ryujin smacked her with the pillow.

“Unni!”

“What?” Yeji was laughing now, smiling sweetly at the girl who puffed up her cheeks in dismay.

Ryujin let out another groan as well as a few incoherent mumbles.

“Alright… Alright.” Yeji did her best to swallow the remainder of her giggles. “So... Is that it? He’s caring and nice. And talented and disciplined. And into PDA-“ She stifled a snicker with a cough at Ryujin’s light slap on her arm. “-so is that it?”

Ryujin fell silent with a thoughtful look in her eyes as if she was contemplating. A few minutes passed, but Yeji waited patiently, curious to hear the younger’s conclusion.

“… He inspires me.” Ryujin finally spoke again.

Yeji blinked in surprise, but a steady smile tugged upwards on Ryujin’s lips.

“Part of the reason I made it this far is because of him… He inspired me to keep going, to keep pushing while remembering to find worth in myself. He inspired me. He still does…”

 **Inspire. Inspiration.** How beautiful.

Yeji closed her eyes and immediately flashed back to their younger trainee days. Ryujin was one of the most cheerful and outgoing trainees during that time, with a constant smile on her face as she encouraged and cheered them all up. Yeji thought that Ryujin was a God-sent during those times, a friend that was specifically placed in her life, in all their lives, to bring light during the dark days. To hear that the friend who had been a motivating factor in Yeji’s life have her own inspiration was heartening, and at this moment, Yeji couldn’t help but feel the most gratitude towards Byeongkwan. For him to be a man that inspired Ryujin, he was truly awesome.

“What are you thinking about?” Ryujin playfully nudged her side, bringing Yeji back from her thoughts. “Here I am saying all of my cheesy confessions out loud, only for you to start daydreaming.” She teased.

“… I was just thinking that’s beautiful.” Yeji smiled. “For him to be that type of person for you… I’m happy for you… Ryujin-ah.”

Ryujin blushed and let out a small inhumane noise as she buried her face into Yeji’s shoulder once again, causing Yeji to let out a soft chuckle.

“Cute. My Ryujinie is so cute.” She cooed, wrapping her arms around the younger to hold her close to her. “… Inspiration.” She mused.

“…Yep.” Ryujin hummed softly. “… And he loves me the way I am.”

Yeji felt something stir in her heart, swelling with pride and affection at that.

“… He’d better.” She gave Ryujin a soft kiss on the temple, startling the younger into a giggle.

**Inspiration and acceptance… How wonderful.**

Yeji may not have had any experience in love or relationships yet, but she was certain what Ryujin had was it – to encourage and be encouraged; to inspire and be inspired; to accept and be accepted; to love and be loved. That was a picture of love, pure and active love in the real world. Not love from one of those cheesy dramas that just tapped on heart-fluttering emotions that couldn’t last more than twenty episodes, but true love that endured and grew continuously, maturing as the days went by because of the mutual effort and time put into it.

Hearing Ryujin describe what love was made her feel a bit envious, but in a good way. She was happy for Ryujin, there was no doubt about it, and there was also a part of her that longed for what the younger had. She found herself wondering more than ever when it would be her turn to love and be loved. When would she meet her special someone? Someone who would inspire her and accept her as she was? Someone whom Yeji wouldn’t mind sneaking in a public staircase to steal a kiss?

“Unni?” Ryujin’s voice interrupted her reverie.

“Hmm?” She opened her eyes.

She didn’t even realize that she had been falling asleep, a sudden wave of drowsiness washing over her unexpectedly. She rapidly blinked, trying to fight off her sleep.

“Yes Ryujin?”

“Unni…” Ryujin hesitated for a second before proceeding to ask, “Did something happen?”

“Hmm?” Yeji yawned, struggling to process the question in her sleepy state. “What?”

“… Between you and Hyunjin.”

That woke Yeji up immediately, her eyes doubling in size as they popped out of her face. She slowly turned her head and as soon as she met the younger’s soft brown eyes, her heart sank.

Inspiration and acceptance? The thing was, Yeji already had someone like that – someone who inspired her and accepted her the way she was. That someone was also the person she would find stress-increase and stress-relief from, someone whom she got into trouble with and someone she laughed with all the time. That someone saw the worst parts of her, but still accepted her, all of her. And that someone was the one who made her brave enough to do things she herself didn’t believe she could do. Yes, Yeji already had someone like that, but that someone was the person she had currently been avoiding. Actively.

Yeji was avoiding Hyunjin.

She stayed away from the Hwang Spot or any other place she might potentially run into him. She never messaged him or opened the messages he sent. She even stayed away from him during promotions, choosing to stand on the far opposite end of him for their ‘Not Shy’ interview on Music Core, instead of standing in the front beside him as she usually would have done.

Of course, he noticed. **Everyone** noticed. It was hard not to notice as Yeji not-so-subtly scurried out of the room whenever she made so-much as eye-contact with Hyunjin. And he was getting mad; she could tell, his initial confusion hardening into a grimace every time she ran away with some lame excuse coming out of her mouth. But she couldn’t help it. Yeji had to squash these feelings before they bested her, before they fanned into something larger than feelings.

“I know it’s probably none of my business,” Ryujin spoke carefully. “And you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to… but I just wanted to check on you, Unni.”

“Am I acting off?” Yeji cracked a dry smile.

“No… you just seem sad.”

That surprised Yeji.

“Sad?” Her voice came out hollow.

“Or a little down… More than usual.” Ryujin’s arms tightened around her waist as she glanced furtively at Yeji.

“… You think I’m down… because of Hyunjin?”

“I didn’t say that. All I know is that… you look at ease when you’re with him. It’s normal to see you guys together… It’s kinda weird to see you acting distant.” Ryujin turned to smile. “… But I’m sure you know what you’re doing. Whatever happens, I’m on your side.”

The younger closed her eyes and snuggled closer to her. Ryujin was so close that Yeji could feel her heartbeat pressed against her arm. Yeji felt her heart stirring and wished she could say something, but she didn’t know what to say. However, it was so like Ryujin to be there for her when she was at a loss for herself. Ryujin would comfort her and wait until she was ready to share, even accepting the times when she wouldn’t.

Pretty soon, she could feel Ryujin’s gentle breathing and adjusted the covers so that Ryujin was completely tucked in. But Yeji remained awake, gazing up at the ceiling as she reflected upon her own thoughts.

 **It’s normal to see you together.** That’s what Ryujin said. **Normal**.

Yeji knew that better than anyone. It was always normal to have Hyunjin beside her, a _given_. So why did she had to start catching feelings now after so many years of being together? She let out a sigh as she closed her eyes, allowing sleep to finally catch up to her.

**Why was love so complicated?**

A few more days passed by and in a blink of an eye, it was almost the end of her promotions period. Due to the corona virus, things weren’t as pressed as previous comebacks and she found herself saddened at how quickly the time passed by. Oh, and she was still avoiding Hyunjin like he was the virus himself, busying herself with dancing and exercise outside of her schedules. She was also ignoring Daehwi, who had sent her a message to call him once she had sorted herself out.

**Yeah, that was a no-go.**

However, not even the busiest of schedules or the most rigorous of dances could control her mind completely and there were many days that she still found herself thinking about Hyunjin, where thoughts of him would take a hold of her mind like a vice and refuse to be shaken off.

Like today, where she found herself reaching for two Choco Boys at the convenience store. Her heart throbbed painfully in her chest as she gazed down at the yellow boxes, guilt quietly seeping into her bones.

Hyunjin was probably furious at her. He was probably fed up with her. And yet, she missed him. She missed Hyunjin. She missed talking to him, missed their playful banter as they walked to the fish bun stall together. She missed sitting on the floor with him at their Hwang Spot as they shared a bag of Choco Boys. She even missed his snicker, the way his lips would morph into a devious smile as he gazed at her with a glint in his eyes. She missed the warm hands that would hold hers. She missed him. She missed him with her whole being.

**I miss him… Does he miss me-**

“Hey.”

A voice came out of nowhere, interrupting her guilt-trip and she looked up. Her eyes widened and she almost dropped the Choco Boys, her heart stopping in her chest for a split second. Standing in front of her now was a bright yellow-head with the sharpest eyes she had ever seen – Choi Yeonjun.

It was funny. Her heart should have thumped in her chest. Her breath should have been cut short. Her stomach should have twisted up into knots at the sight of him. But it didn’t. Besides the initial shock that wore off in two seconds, she felt nothing.

“Hi… How are you?” She asked him politely as she gazed at him civilly, but she didn’t smile. She was wearing a mask so he couldn’t see it anyways.

“Good. Just felt like grabbing some snacks. You?” He spoke in a tone equally as light.

It was funny. Yeonjun acted as if he hadn’t ignored her for the past two years, as if they were still trainees and somewhat friends, on friendly terms.

“Same.” She nodded, going past him so she could ring up her items.

“No Homerun Balls?” His voice was teasing.

That threw her off. She paused, feeling perplexed as she turned back to gaze at those sharp eyes that glinted with a hint of the lazy smile she fell in love with a few years ago. The Yeji in high school would have blushed and grabbed a Homerun Balls off the shelf immediately, or she would have boldly retorted with blushing cheeks that there was no need for her to buy it if he was going to share with her anyways. It amazed her how innocent and how… _naïve_ she was back then, in the face of a boy who thought nothing of her. It absolutely astonished her.

How the heck did she fall in love with someone like this? Someone so inconsistent and shameless? The present her couldn’t understand it. Why Yeonjun? Why him? And then it hit her; like her epiphany with Hyunjin, she was struck with a moment of insight. And it was at that exact moment she knew, exactly why she had been so infatuated with him in the first place.

**Yeonjun was like Homerun Balls.**

The same exterior of a lazy smile and easygoing laugh while his interior remained hidden from everyone. Yeji could never truly see what was inside of him as he changed by the day. One day, sweet; another day, cold. One moment, he made her feel so warm inside, just to cause her heart to freeze the next moment. It was exciting to be with him because it felt like every moment was a surprise, but it was also exhausting; too many moments of disappointment compared to pleasant ones. Even now, he managed to surprise her – joking with her out of the blue when he didn’t even acknowledge he knew her all the other times they met.

She should have been furious at how he thought he could trample her heart and then act as if they were cool a few years later. But she found herself completely calm, no more throbs of pain in her heart, no more lingering memories of him that haunted her, no more regrets about him – nothing at all.

“… I like Choco Boys now.” She felt the corners of her lips curve up into a smile as she gazed at him. “They’re sweeter. Goodbye Choi Yeonjun.” And with that, she nodded at him good-bye.

“… Bye Hwang Yeji.”

As she rushed out of the store to her van, she missed how Yeonjun’s eyes followed her curiously through the window, sharp piercing eyes gazing at her with unreadable emotions. But to be honest, even if she had noticed, she wouldn’t have cared, because he was no longer her concern. She was finally free from any thoughts about him, good or bad. Her first love was officially done.

“You must be hungry.” Manager Oppa chuckled, startling her from gazing out of the window.

“Huh?” She gave him a confused look, only for him to nod at the snacks in her lap.

She looked down at her hands and suddenly, she remembered she had gotten two.

“… Want one?” She offered half-heartedly to him.

It wasn’t like she was going to see Hyunjin anyways. But Manager Oppa shook his head.

“No thanks. It obviously wasn’t for me in the first place.” He laughed as her cheeks flushed pink with embarrassment.

“I’m sorry…” She said softly.

“For what?” He asked good-naturedly. “You got two for a reason. Don’t feel sorry about that.”

**You got two for a reason.**

Her heart throbbed painfully in her chest. She could have disregarded what Manager Oppa said. He probably didn’t mean anything by it, didn’t know anything about the person behind the reason in her heart. But for some reason, she couldn’t get his words out of her mind.

**You got two for a reason.**

He dropped her off in front of the company building, promising to send someone else to take her home in a couple of hours, but she could hardly hear him, the words still ringing in her mind.

**You got two for a reason. Two for a reason. A _reason_. **

Those words echoed like a noisy bell, repeating in her head over and over again, and the next thing she knew, she was hurrying to the spot she had tried so hard to avoid for the past few weeks. And one thought overtook everything else in her mind, surpassing Manager Oppa’s words.

**_Hyunjin._ **

She picked up her feet and ran even faster, holding the Choco Boys in a tight grip as she raced through the hall.

 **Hyunjin**. **I want to see Hyunjin.**

It was 10:35 pm. There was no guarantee Hyunjin was at their spot. He could have been practicing with Stray Kids; he could have been out eating; he could have been home. But there was an unexplainable certainty she felt in her gut that he was there, at their spot, waiting for her. She just knew it. He was waiting for her.

She leaped past the corner, only for her feet to come to a stop. She became absolutely still, freezing in her footsteps as she stared unguardedly at the sight in front of her – Hyunjin was sitting on the floor of the Hwang Spot, feet sprawled out and back leaned against the wall. He was like a statue, staring vacantly at the wall as he remained absolutely still. He wasn’t facing her direction so she couldn’t make any eye-contact with him, but she didn’t need to; she knew exactly what he was feeling.

**Upset. Hyunjin was upset.**

It didn’t take a rocket scientist to notice his frosty continence or how his body seemed stiff even while relaxed on the floor. But even that didn’t deter her. She was done running away. Feelings were irrelevant. All that mattered was Hyunjin.

His head snapped and the next thing she knew, she was seeing dark brown. His eyes locked onto hers and for a moment, they stayed like that. They stared at each other in silence, each holding a plethora of unspoken words in their eyes; words that needed to be said but for some reason, were not. That look was in Hyunjin’s eyes again – heaviness wrapping around her and suffocating her down as a storm of emotions raged behind them. However, despite the weight of the air between them, despite the _fear_ that she felt, Yeji didn’t run away.

“Hwang Hyunjin.” She took a tentative step towards him.

His eyes flickered and changed to a look she was more familiar with: **_resentment._**

“…Hwang Yeji.” His expression was so cold it caused her to swallow.

A shiver ran down her spine but she willed herself forward, taking a seat beside him on the ground. He watched her icily, completely tensed as she shifted uncomfortably besides him. After another ten seconds of agonizing silence, her body moved on its own.

“Choco Boys?” She forced a happy smile, shoving a box of Choco Boys into his lap.

He didn’t return her smile. He didn’t even take the box! He let it fall off his lap onto the floor, keeping his dark eyes on her.

“… Y-you don’t want it?” She let out a nervous giggle, trying to hide how awkward she was feeling while failing miserably. “I’ll take it back-“

His hand shot out to wrap around her wrist, stopping her.

“You’re avoiding me.” His voice was three pitches lower than its usual tone and his grip was tight, like an iron chain shackling her.

At his dark voice, she averted her eyes to the ground, blood rushing to her cheeks.

“I-I’m not.” She tried to pull her arm back, but he kept his iron grip on her, his eyes boring daggers into her.

“Yeji-“

“I-I’m here, aren’t I?” Her eyes darted nervously back and forth.

She tried to meet his gaze with a forced smile, but immediately found that she couldn’t stare at him for too long. She was starting to feel dizzy, the tension in the air knocking the oxygen from her lungs.

“Yeji…” He repeated her name and she immediately dropped her gaze, a chill running down her spine at that baritone voice that he never used on her.

She kept her head down, refusing to meet his gaze even when she could see him bringing his face closer to hers from the corner of her eyes.

“Yeji-” She could feel his breath brushing across her eyes, causing blood to rush to her cheeks.

“It hurts.” She mumbled, dropping her head lower. “It hurts.” She tried to tug her hand away, but he still refused to let go.

However, his grip slightly loosened and his thumb began to run soothing circles across her pulse point – something that she always did for him as a comforting gesture. It brought her to tears.

“I-I didn’t mean to…” Her voice broke as tears welled up in her eyes.

She immediately brought her free hand up to brush her tears away. Why was she crying? She was the one who made the decision to stay away from Hyunjin until she could get a hold of her feelings. Yes, she wasn’t going to deny it any longer. She knew she had feelings for Hyunjin, but that didn’t make the whole process any easier. If anything, it made everything worse as she had become hyperaware of everything regarding him.

Like the way his comforting arm wrapped around her shoulders in a warm embrace; like the way his gentle breaths caressed the top of her head in slow inhales and exhales; like the way his steady pulse lulled her to calmness and dried her tears.

She was even more aware of how she responded to him. Like the way she practically melted into his chest as he held her; like the way she knew the exact place to rest her ear between his throat and collarbone to feel his pulse, gently throbbing against her head; Like the way she subtly pressed her nose to his shirt so she could take whiffs of him in. She knew the exact brand of cologne he used – Gucci flora in the scent magnolia, the fragrance of spring flowers after rain. She could tell by the movement of his fingers around her wrist that he was about to speak.

“What’s wrong?”

She was aware of how his lips were so close to her hair that he could kiss it. His voice was so kind, so gentle and it made her want to cry again.

“…What’s happening to us?” She evaded his question with one of her own, a pathetic smile forming on her lips.

“What do you mean?”

“I-” She choked, overwhelmed once again.

His hand rubbed the side of her arm in a comforting manner, encouraging her as he patiently waited.

She took in a few deep breaths, struggling with her thoughts when his fingers slid down her wrist to take her hand. She blanked and the words just spilled out.

“I’m _scared_.”

She could feel him slightly stiffen, the hand that rubbed her arm going still as his fingers remained over hers. She pealed her head off his chest to gaze into his eyes with her own teary ones.

“I’m scared.” She confessed again quietly.

She was scared. She was absolutely terrified of everything she was feeling for him, everything she _shouldn’t_ have been feeling for him. She was scared by the intense longings of want that pulled her towards Hyunjin like a magnetic force. She was scared of the pure greed consisting of endless desires that gripped her whenever she thought about him. But most of all, she was scared by the possibility of losing him should her feelings be discovered. Intense passions and greed she could deal with, but the thought of Hyunjin’s permanent absence in her life was unbearable. She didn’t want to lose Hyunjin. And thanks to that, raw, authentic fear churned in her stomach and knocked the breath from her lungs.

**‘I can’t lose you.’**

She couldn’t bring herself to say those words out loud, but she knew her eyes conveyed the message clearly enough based upon Hyunjin’s response.

“… I’m here.” He spoke in a low voice, but the kindness was still evident in his tone. He spoke reassuringly and his eyes were softened as they gazed down at her.

And yet, she wasn’t convinced.

“But you won’t always be…” Her eyes flickered down to their clasped hands with a resigned smile.

She gave his hand a gentle squeeze, starting to let go, but his grip tightened. She stared at him in confusion as he laced their fingers together, an unreadable expression on his face – the one she had been seeing too often. Strangely, this time, the air didn’t feel tense, even though his eyes were heavy. She blinked back the remainder of her tears, trying to get a clearer look at him when he startled her.

“… You don’t have to worry.” His voice was hoarse. “Don’t worry.”

Yeji was unable to look away from his burning gaze, brown eyes blazing up with resolve. Suddenly, her mind flooded with memories of their past – training together, running side-by-side, arguing, making-up. She felt as if she saw every single moment they spent together through his eyes. And she understood.

She didn’t have to worry. She could believe him. **Because Hyunjin saw her as his twin.** He would never leave her. He would always be there. And while unrequited love was painful, the fact that Hyunjin would be by her side for life was the greatest comfort she could ever receive.

**Comfort. That’s right.**

Comfortable was the word that she first labeled him under. But Hyunjin turned out to be more than that. Her comfortable partner became her comforting companion. Somehow comfortable became comfort down the road and Hyunjin had proved himself time and time again as a comforter.

 **And that’s enough.** She vowed. She wouldn’t be selfish and ask for more. Hyunjin already gave enough, because he, as himself, was enough.

“…Thanks Hyunjinie.” She smiled at him gratefully, giving his hand a gentle squeeze.

“…You’re acting weird,” He muttered under his breath, but she could see the breath of relief that he let out.

That’s right, she was acting weird. She shouldn’t let her irrational feelings cloud her judgment and ruin their relationship. After all, she and Hyunjin were only ‘twins’, were only friends. It was normal for her to have strong feelings towards him. He was her best friend! The sooner she let go of her unnatural feelings for him, the better it would be for everyone.

 **We’re twins.** She tried to rationalize her thoughts.

It’d be normal for her to feel something towards him. After all, she felt a twinge of jealousy when Ryujin was paying too much attention on her phone only instead of hanging out with her. She felt petty when Yuna only craved for Lia’s attention. She was a jealous person! She was acting weird. Also, her and Hyunjin? Please. That would be incest. She couldn’t date someone who was so similar to her and looked exactly like her.

**That would be ridiculous.**

Yeji repeated those words to herself like a mantra, trying to drown out all the other feelings she had for him. Never mind that her hands immediately went cold the moment he let go of them or that butterflies danced in her stomach when he leaned his head against hers to show her something on his phone. She rigorously ignored everything else, using those words as a protective chant and barrier.

**Ridiculous. Ridiculous. Ridiculous. Ridiculous. Ridiculous. Ridiculous. Ridiculous. Ridiculous.**

Even in her dreams, she found herself chanting those words as she imagined a world where Hyunjin could actually like her back.

**Ridiculous. Ridiculous. Ridiculous. Ridiculous. Ridiculous. Ridiculous.**

Those words were what steeled her to starting meeting with Hyunjin again.

“Just know you’re not off the hook yet…” He was leaning against the wall, munching on a bag of Choco Boys as she shot her a side-glance.

For a split second, she marveled how someone so sloppy could still look so handsome, before shooting the thought down with a firm, **‘RIDICULOUS’**.

“I thought I was forgiven?” She did her best to muster up kitty eyes as she gazed up at him under her lashes.

He immediately choked, letting out a few coughs as she mechanically reached over to pat his arm in concern. She wondered if she should be concerned at how easily physical touch occurred between them.

“… Not yet.” He muttered when he could finally speak again, purposely keeping his eyes away from her.

She blinked, feeling slightly puzzled.

 **Why was Hyunjin looking away from her and why were his ears red?** She noticed the crimson from his ears stretched out to his cheeks, like ripe cherries. He also seemed kind of embarrassed, which was actually pretty cute. **(RIDICULOUS!)**

“… What do you want me to do?” She couldn’t help but reach out to gently poke one of those flushed cheeks.

That caused him to glare at her and pull away from her touch with an exaggerated cough. She sighed and shook her head.

 **‘Drama King, Hyunjin. Well, that was one turnoff.’** She reasoned.

See! She’d get over Hyunjin in no time. She just had to focus about all the things about him that she _didn’t_ like! Like his tendency to exaggerate over every little thing; like the way he was too emotional; like the way he used his height to his advantage, towering over her with that stupidly handsome smirk on his perfect lips-

She snapped out of her thoughts immediately, looking down as a flush formed on her cheeks. **(RIDICULOUS!)**

“What type of perverted thoughts are you having right now?” His scoff caused her cheeks to darken.

“Nothing! What do you mean perverted?!” Her head snapped back up as she looked at him defensively.

“I know that face, Hwang Yeji!”

“It’s the same face as yours!”

“Exactly! It’s the face I have when I’m watching-“ He stopped, but it was too late.

Yeji’s embarrassed expression distorted to a look of utter disdain causing him to blush with shame.

“You know…” He coughed awkwardly, but that only caused her to narrow her eyes at him.

“No, I don’t.” She said in a voice so cold that he flinched. “But I can probably guess.”

**Lewd tendencies. Another turnoff. Hyunjin was ridiculous.**

At that moment, a tense silence fell between them and Yeji contemplated between smacking him across the chest for his inappropriate comment or running away from him again. Before she could make a final decision, Hyunjin had moved so quickly that it caused her to jump. Her mind blanked as she stared down at the object he shoved into her hands.

“This is-” She looked up in a daze, but Hyunjin was already walking away from her. “Wait, what is this?”

“Take that… And I’ll forgive you.” He called over his shoulder right before he turned the corner, leaving her alone in the Hwang Spot. He didn’t looking back at her once, but Yeji saw way his ears continued to burn red.

 **Take this and what?** What on earth was she supposed to do with this? His instructions were super vague and she had no idea what he meant by ‘take that’. Feeling utterly confused, she looked back down into her hands, staring at the drink that Hyunjin had forced upon her. It was when she took a closer look that it dawned on her. Passion fruit – Lia’s current favorite.

**Hyunjin wanted her to relay the message to Lia, just like how he did for her in _Ryujin’s_ relationship. **

It was like a freezing tidal wave washed over her heart as reality gripped her bones. She felt a painful throb in her heart and quiet grief surrounded her like the winter cold. However, she steeled herself to keep her head high as she marched down the hall back to her practice room. If this was what Hyunjin wanted, she would do her very best to help him. Personal feelings aside, it was time to play cupid again.

She waited until the end of the day when they were home before quietly slipping into Lia and Yuna’s shared room. Lia was already falling asleep, sitting in a slumped position on her bed with a bag of chips in her hand. As always, she hadn’t changed her clothes yet or erased her make-up as she stubbornly insisted on snacking right before bed, even though she had the least amount of energy in the group to do so. Despite the burning sensation in her heart, Yeji couldn’t help but smile as she stared at her friend. Clumsy, yet beautiful Lia. She’d be good for Hyunjin.

“If you’re gonna sleep, wash up.” Yeji gently shook the other awake.

Lia’s eyes fluttered open and she looked up at Yeji with a sheepish smile.

“That’s what I said.” Yuna sighed, shaking her head as she continued to wiped her face clean with make-up removal. “What brings you here, Unni?”

Yeji ignored the fact that she had started to tremble, forcing her hands to deliver the drink to its intended recipient.

“Here.” She handed it to Lia with a smile too bright to be genuine, but luckily, neither girls called her out on it.

“My favorite!” Lia beamed, slightly perking up as she shook off her drowsiness. “Thank you!”

“Unni!” Yuna pouted, coming over to lay on Lia’s bed to join them. “Where’s mine?”

“It’s not from me.” Yeji’s lips quirked up into a teasing smile. “… It’s from Hyunjin.”

“Hyunjin?”

Yuna’s reaction was far from what Yeji was expecting. She expected the youngest to join with her in smirking and teasing the potential new couple that would form, but to her surprise, Yuna looked at her with an odd expression.

“What?” She blinked confusedly.

**Why did both Lia and Yuna look at her like that? As if she had grown two heads or something?**

“You… you sure it’s for me?” Lia hesitated.

“Of course!” Yeji frowned.

**Why would they even doubt her? Did Hyunjin ever indicate he liked anyone else?**

She racked her brain. Well, Hyunjin was popular. He was also currently an MC for a music show and had many opportunities to interact with other female idols as well. Maybe Lia thought Hyunjin was a player?

“… There’s no way it’s for anyone else.” Yeji reassured her with a smile.

Even though it sucked that she was helping her crush with his crush, she’d rather it’d be Lia than anyone else. There was no one better for the boy than her sweet friend anyways.

Lia smiled back at her, but didn’t look reassured while Yuna still had the perplexed look on her face. Yeji quickly bid them good-night so she could go back to her room to crash, completely missing how the two of them exchanged a look.

The next day was mint chocolate ice cream. And the following day was caramel popcorn. The next day, green tea kit-kats. Hyunjin practically had something new to give every day, the scarlet dye never fading from his ears. And Yeji thought he was busy preparing for another comeback. How Hyunjin managed to buy something new to give every day was a wonder to her, but she didn’t say anything.

 **‘I guess that’s what love does… It makes us go above and beyond.’** At least, that’s what her mom used to tell her.

Yeji was doing her best not to let it get to her, but it was hard. Every time she had to deliver something to Lia on Hyunjin’s behalf, she felt as if something was scraping at her heart, tearing at her from the inside. She tried to dull herself, numb herself to any emotions but she couldn’t do it. She felt too much for him and all she could do was silently grieve as she put on a happy face in front of everyone else. And she really did try to smile.

She did her best to encourage Lia, made sure she mentioned only the best points of her ‘twin’, subtly hinted at Lia to send him something back. But something was off. For one, Lia didn’t seem too impressed by the gifts, merely smiling politely and thanking Yeji for delivering them to her. In fact, if Yeji was being completely honest, Lia’s smile was borderline fake, almost uncomfortable as she accepted the gifts. So Yeji turned it up a notch – made sure she mentioned how wonderful Hyunjin was on a daily basis, made a point of how red his ears would become as he handed Yeji the gifts, exaggerated her reactions when it came to his visuals and stage presence.

“He’s so handsome, right Jisu?”

“… I guess. Yes.” Lia smiled politely.

“Look at his proportions! He’s so tall too, especially compared to the other Stray boys (Sorry guys). You should talk to him.”

“Talk about what?” Lia’s voice came out unusually sharp.

“What?” Yeji was taken aback, at a complete loss for words at Lia’s smile that seemed more exasperated than genuine.

“… Lia-“

“I think you should talk to him.” The fake smile melted into a genuine one as she showed her eye-smile. She gave Yeji a friendly squeeze on the shoulder before walking off to join Yuna and Chaeryeong in the corner.

Now that really threw Yeji off and she was confused.

Did Lia _not_ like Hyunjin? Was she flat-out rejecting Hyunjin’s advances? But she didn’t even know Hyunjin. She didn’t know what a wonderful boy he was. How could she reject the advances of someone so sincere without giving them a chance? It baffled Yeji and also annoyed her at the same time. Why wouldn’t Lia give him a chance?

The next day, as soon as she was able to call for a break Yeji marched briskly down the hall with a newfound determination. She needed to talk to Hyunjin. It was obvious that this wasn’t working. He needed to try something different to win Lia’s heart.

“We need to talk.” She nodded at him gravely.

“Sure.” He cracked a smile at her serious tone. “Why the long face?”

“It’s not working.”

His smile immediately disappeared.

“What?” His tone was flat.

“Not that it’s bad!” She added hurriedly, panicked to see him disheartened so quickly. “It’s just that… I think we need to do something different.”

He relaxed.

“Like what?” A lazy smirk quirked up on his lips as he raised an eye at her.

Yeji had to do a quick reset of her mind at that, encoding ‘ **RIDICULOUS’** in her mind once again for good measure before speaking. Darn Hyunjin for being so unfairly handsome.

“Well…” Her lips pursed into a pout as she racked her brain. “Hmm… How about- Hm… Hey… No gift today?” She blinked, realizing it had been the first time in the week that he hadn’t given her anything to pass on.

“Gift.” He snorted, but his lips curved up into an amused smile. “Not everyday.”

“Oh…” Yeji blinked again. “Ok…”

“You only like me for the gifts I bring?” He smirked.

“No. Of course not.” She shook her head. “I was just curious.”

“You’re getting spoiled, Hwang Yeji.” He chuckled, reaching out his hand to pat her head.

“Spoiled?” She looked up at him with a frown, doing her best to keep a neutral face at how his hand remained over her head.

She wondered if he was imagining she was Lia. After all, they were around the same height- **and that’s it!** Yeji wondered why she didn’t think of it earlier. Of course, Lia hadn’t been too impressed. Hyunjin kept passing things through her! Doing things in person conveyed more sincerity. It showed genuineness.

“I’ve got it.” She looked up at him with a smile, doing her best to make sure her voice didn’t falter.

“Tell me.” He chuckled, his fingers combing through her hair as he gazed at her curiously.

“In-person.” She took a step away from him, avoiding his touch the second time.

They had to stop being so touchy with each other. He’d get a girlfriend soon.

“… So what we’re doing?” He smirked.

“No. We’re doing third-party. You gotta do it yourself.”

“What?” Once again, his smile dropped as he stared at her blankly. “What are you talking about?”

“Lia!” She rolled her eyes at him. “What else?”

“What?”

“I’m saying that you should give the stuff to her yourself.” She turned from him nonchalantly, already starting to head down the halls as she waved good-bye. “I’m sure she’d say yes if you-“

“What?!”

That got her attention. She whirled around and immediately wished she hadn’t.

Hyunjin wasn’t smiling any longer, far from it. He looked menacing, completely tensed up as he stared at her with eyes that radiated with unforgiveness. His hands were balled into fists and he had a grim expression on his face. The Hyunjin in front of her was a ticking time bomb and Yeji found herself frozen in fear at the impending disaster that was about to happen.

“… Explain.”

That calm voice with an underlying rage was enough to cause her to shiver.

“Hyunjin-“ She took a step back as he took a step forward.

He was holding himself back, she could tell. But she didn’t know if he would be fully able to control his temper. The last time he became like this, things became really ugly, really fast.

“I asked you to explain.” His words were like a knife, slicing into the tense atmosphere. “… What did you do to the things I gave you?”

It was at this moment that Yeji was regretting her life decisions, the realization that she had misunderstood significantly choking her.

“… I gave them to Lia.” Her voice was soft, but judging by the way his eyes doubled in size and he took a step back, he heard her clearly.

“… What?” He breathed out, reeling.

“I thought you wanted me to give it to her.” She shut her eyes tightly, wishing that the ground would just open up and swallow her whole. She felt completely turmoil at the moment, drowning in regret, confusion, and fear. Suffocating silence engulfed both of them and for a moment, the only thing she could hear was his heavy breathing across the way, indications that he was struggling to regain his temper.

“… Why?” His voice broke as did a piece of her.

“I’m sorry-“

“Yeji!” He growled, causing her to flinch. “Just… why? Why?!”

“…I thought you liked her.” She was crying now, the feelings of heartbreak she had been shouldering alone spilling over. “I thought… I’m sorry, Hyunjin.”

“Oh my-“ He cursed, causing her to shudder.

“I’m sorry! Please Hyunjin! I didn’t do it on purpose! I-“

“Even if I did like her, why the hell would I ask YOU to help me?” He spit out the words like they were poison, intended to hurt and wound, as he glared at her with spiteful eyes.

Seeing and hearing pure venom from him was too much. She stumbled back, her heart shattering into a thousand pieces as pain coursed through every shard.

“I’m sorry.” She said lifelessly.

But the damage was done, to both of them. The corner of his lips curved up into smirk. It was the most bitter smirk that Yeji had ever seen on his face.

“… Whatever.” And with that, he abandoned her in the hall, hatred still radiating from his body as he left.

He had never left her like that. When he was in that state, he would explode to set off Yeji to enter that state herself. Two time bombs together, they would yell and scream, cry and shout until their wreckage was everywhere, until they had nothing left to be destroyed. But then, they would come together to repair each other. They would build each other up until they were fine once again, and then move forward in their journey together. But this time, Hyunjin didn’t wait for her. He didn’t calm down and neither did he set her off. He just went off himself and _abandoned_ her. He left her to deal with the hurt and debris alone. He left her to linger in his hatred alone.

She sank to the ground, her mind desperately trying to repair itself as she tried to put herself back together.

_“I’m here.”_

She suddenly remembered his reassuring words a week ago, where they were sitting in the same spot she was now.

_“I’m here.”_

He’d come back for her, wouldn’t he? He’d come back so that they could repair themselves together. He’d come back to wipe her tears of pain. He’d come back to show her he didn’t hate her. She waited and waited, but he didn’t. Slow tears fell from her eyes like rain.

**Liar.**

**You’re not here.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you with my Ryujin/Byeongkwan ship (or those who've been with me since 'Complicated'), the beginning was a special gift to you. ^^ 
> 
> Going to 2Hwang, T.T ahh....  
> Love hurts. And yes, the title is a reference to BlackPink's 'Lovesick Girls'.   
> Next chapter will be the last though, so stay with me.
> 
> For those of you in the States, Happy Thanksgiving.  
> I am thankful for all of you who've given this story a chance.  
> (But I will admit that those who leave kudos and comments have a special place in my heart ^^)


	15. Final

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick note: This chapter is a little more mature than the others so I'm gonna say rated T for Tromance ^^  
> Enjoy~

Before Yeji could blink twice, Itzy’s promotions were finished and it was already mid-September. Just like that, Yeji’s summer was gone. Thanks to the corona virus and her work life, she had lost the summer… Just like she lost Hyunjin.

The blow-up in the hallway was the last time she saw him. Stray Kids began new promotions with ‘Backdoor’ a day after Itzy’s ended, so it was inevitable that their interactions would be limited due to his comeback schedule along with new quarantine regulations. However, she couldn’t shake off the idea of how it seemed like he was _deliberately_ going out of his way to avoid her. He no longer came to the Hwang Spot. He was unresponsive to her messages on Kakaotalk. He eluded her in shared spaces. Even when she finally mustered the courage to approach the Stray Kids’ practice room, he was the only one missing. He was like a ghost, covering his tracks and erasing every trace of him in her life.

During promotions, she was fine; exhaustion and fatigue putting her to sleep before she could even think about Hyunjin. It was when promotions ended that it hit her – he was gone. And she felt it; she felt it **_bad_**. Her heart was already broken, but the silence was killing her. His absence clawed away at her soul, suffocating her from the inside. She was so affected, everyone noticed. All her members jumped into action, actively trying to distract her from the pain they couldn’t take away.

“Unni, I have cabin fever. Go on a walk with your Ryujinie!” Ryujin jumped on top of her, wrapping around her like a koala bear.

“Unni, let’s play ‘Among us!’ It’s my favorite game right now!” Yuna settled in her lap, looking at her with doe-eyes that she couldn’t say ‘no’ to.

“Yeji-yah, let’s have a home date. We can eat lunch and watch a movie. You choose.” Lia snuggled to her side, resting her head upon Yeji’s thin shoulder.

“Unni, I think we need a break. Let’s go see Daehwi. We can have a studio hangout.” Chaeryeong reached for her hand, searching her face with concerned eyes.

Yeji appreciated their efforts, she really did. She loved her girls to death. But none of them could fill the void of Hyunjin’s existence. She laughed with them when they were together, felt genuine moments of joy and happiness with them. Yet the second she was left alone, she was hit with overwhelming loneliness and once again, reminded of the emptiness she felt inside.

**Come back to me. Come back please.**

She would quietly weep in the bathroom during the middle of the night, hands pressed firmly against her lips to stifle her sorrow that threatened to spill over.

She regretted it. She regretted falling in love with Hyunjin. Hadn’t she learned her lesson the first time? Didn’t she already experience heartbreak once? Why was this heartbreak so much more painful? It wasn’t like the first time, when Yeonjun refused to take the heart Yeji had handed to him, allowing it to fall and crack on the ground. No. This time, it was like her heart was shattering over and over again, refusing to be mended at the mere thought of Hyunjin. Hyunjin held that much power of her. And the worst part was, she didn’t hate him. No, she _couldn’t_ hate him. Every time she told herself, she’d despise Hwang Hyunjin, her mind immediately flashed back to their younger days, holding on to past memories.

_“You need to rest, Stupid.” His hand locked on her wrist in an unbreakable grip._

_“I’m fine!” She impatiently pulled away from him._

**_When did Hwang Hyunjin become so strong? Just 2 weeks ago, she had knocked him over with a pillow during one of their games._ **

_“Let go! Dumb Hyunjin!” She struggled against him. “I need to practice! Let-“_

_“Yeji!” He forced her to look into his eyes. His expression was so stern that she was shocked into silence. “Everything can wait! At this rate, you’re gonna faint!”_

_He dragged her out of the practice room before she could say another word of protest. That was the day he walked her home, refusing to let go of her hand until he had escorted her to the door and bid her good-night._

**That was the first time he held her hand longer than five seconds.**

Yeji felt a pathetic smile forming on her lips as she realized how easily physical touch developed in their relationship at such a young age. Something that she took for granted, something completely out of her reach now…

Days turned into weeks and by the end of September, she couldn’t take it anymore. She desperately dialed another number, praying that _he’d_ pick up.

“Yeji?”

**_He_ did.**

“I’m about three seconds away from committing first-degree murder, I SWEAR! I’m gonna _kill_ him-“ Daehwi cursed as he handed her a mug of hot tea.

It was almost 5 in the morning and she was currently in Daehwi’s studio, wrapped in a blanket as she tried to warm her chilled body and heart. For once, Yeji was thankful for Daehwi’s ridiculous sleep schedule that revolved around work. He was currently preparing for AB6IX’s comeback that was supposed to take place in mid-October, or in two weeks. This meant that it was the season of busyness and the workaholic in him took over. He had been holed up in the studio when she had called almost an hour ago and didn’t hesitate to urge her to his place.

“I was planning to pull an all-nighter anyway,” He reassured in a voice washed over with 10 shots of espresso. “Just come.”

A part of her felt guilty to disturb him during such a critical time, but Daehwi made it seem like her presence was the most important thing in the world, wrapping a blanket around her shoulders as soon as he saw her in front of the company building. He immediately ushered her inside, fussing over her as he cracked up his heater. While she felt touched by his insistence to support her during this chaotic time, she was completely drained and unable to express it. At the moment, she felt too cold inside despite the warmth from the blanket and heated room. She couldn’t even touch her tea, too mentally exhausted to do so.

“Not that you did everything right. It’s your fault for assuming things he didn’t say.” While he took care of her, Daehwi being Daehwi, didn’t hesitate to call her out on her wrongdoings.

“I know.” She said quietly, her eyes staring vacantly at the cup in her hands.

“I mean, Lia? Really? I’ve never seen Hyujin interact with her, like EVER! He’s never mentioned her.”

“I know…” The words rolled off her tongue dully.

She heard him let out a sigh and could hear him scratching at his head in frustration.

“… Have you talked to him since then?” His voice was kinder, but it did nothing to thaw the frost in her heart.

She numbly shook her head.

“That stupid idiot!” He hissed. “I take it back! I said you guys were at fault 50-50? Nope! It’s mostly his fault! It’s all his fault! A hundred percent!”

He let out another huff and for a moment, they sat in silence, soft grunts from the heater filling the background.

“… No. It’s my fault.” Her grip on the mug tightened. “It’s my fault…”

“Huh?” He frowned.

“It’s my fault… for falling in love with someone I shouldn’t have.” She lifted the cup to her lips, taking a sip.

“That’s not your fault-

“We kept crossing boundaries.” She let out a short laugh that didn’t reach her eyes. “Neither of us ever drew the line. In the end, we both got hurt.” She choked out another lifeless chuckle. “We should have just stayed the same… Our relationship should have just stayed the same. We’re too alike, in all the wrong ways – too emotional, too competitive… Too attached. Romantically, we’re just wrong for each other.” A stray tear escaped her eye.

Daehwi was stunned. For once, her words had rendered speechless and he could do nothing except stare at her with pity. Another moment of silence passed as they sat together in her quiet grief.

“…I should just fall in love with Soobinie.” She broke the silence, in a voice completely dull. “He’s taller, more handsome… Kinder… cuter. He’s way better than-“ her voice cracked as she sniffled.

She couldn’t even say Hyunjin’s name; it hurt so much.

“Not if you’re gonna use him as a replacement.” Daehwi sighed. “Binie doesn’t deserve that. You don’t deserve that either.”

“You’re right.” She smiled ruefully. “I’m terrible, aren’t I?”

She downed the rest of the cold tea and Daehwi watched, his eyes fixed on her with mixed emotions.

“I’m sorry.” She gave an apologetic smile. “Here I am at unreasonable-O’clock in the morning… bothering you.”

“…You’re not bothering me.” He pursed his lips sympathetically. “If anything… I should be thanking you. I thought my brain was going to explode earlier. This is a nice break.”

“Break?” She was startled into a genuine laugh. “Lee Daehwi takes breaks?”

“He is now.” He stuck his tongue out at her.

“You need to sleep.” She sighed, shaking her head.

“Sleep?” He snorted. “What’s that? Sounds like a luxury I can’t afford.”

“It’s a _necessity_.” She let out another exasperated sigh, but he waved away her concerns.

“Whatever.” He dismissed.

It still hurt, but at least with Daehwi, her heart felt lighter.

“… Daehwi?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you.” She smiled at him softly.

“… Of course.” He returned her smile, equally as soft.

“Breakfast?”

“Your treat?”

“Of course.”

Being with Daehwi helped, but after breakfast when she was back at the empty apartment, everything was the same. She was still in the same state – empty, lonely, and void of Hyunjin. And it still hurt. It was _excruciating_. Her members’ silence made it worse, as it was their free day and everyone went out. She ended up going out herself, heading over to the company gym. She couldn’t be by herself; the silence was unbearable. Additionally, there was no better way to release stress than a good workout so she channeled all her pain and sadness into exercise. But even then, she couldn’t focus, her mind always traveling to the boy whose face mirrored hers in every way except for the teasing smirk that tugged his lips.

**Stop. Stop thinking about him.**

It was unbelievable how even when she was mentally and physically exhausted, his face was the only thing her brain would default to.

_“Hwang Yeji.” His cat-like eyes twinkled with mischief and his lips curved into a conceited smirk._

Hyunjin practically lived in her thoughts without trying and it wasn’t fair. In the end, she had to cut her workout short, too distracted by the one who refuse to leave her mind. She was so out of it, she almost crashed into someone in the doorway as she was leaving.

“Excuse me-“ Lifting her head, she froze at the pair of dark brown she hadn’t seen in a while, but that had been haunting her.

Hyunjin looked… good. Ridiculously good. His hair was longer now, blond locks down to his shoulders that framed his face. His skin was clear and clean, as if he had been getting 9-hours of sleep a night. His eyes were clear, like a pair of shining marbles that sparkled. He looked really good. He looked put together and… fine. Perfectly fine. **Fine without Yeji in his life.**

She didn’t think it was possible for her fragile heart to fracture even more, but at that realization, it did. She felt like pieces of her broken heart were piercing her lungs at the painful realization that she was the only one suffering. She would have burst into tears right there and then if it wasn’t for her phone. She eagerly looked down, desperate to distract herself before she could self-destruct again. Her eyes widen in surprise and the breaking process halted. She quickly answered.

“Soo…binie?” She held her breath.

“Hi… Hi.” His gentle voice was like music to her ears.

And just like that, Yeji felt warmth slowly wrapping around her cold heart. She’d hold onto it. She swiftly moved past Hyunjin, rushing down the hall to look for a place where she could take the call in privacy. All without taking a backwards glance at Hyunjin once.

“Soobinie…” She breathed out once she had slipped into an empty practice room. “…Hi.” She sank to the floor, back against the wall, clutching the phone as if it were her lifeline.

“Hi.” More warmth.

“Hi.” It was as if she was in a daze, her body trying to absorb the warmth it received from listening.

“Hi?” He was confused.

“Hi.” She was thawing.

“Are we just going to keep saying hi?” He giggled and she felt a smile tug up the corners of her lips.

“… Hi.” She said one last time and just as she hoped, he let out a high-pitched giggle.

She could imagine him covering his mouth embarrassedly as his eyes crinkled into crescent moons.

“How are you?” He asked in that sweet voice that calmed her.

“… Better now.”

And she meant it.

Soobin’s phone call (courtesy of Daehwi) was nowhere near the magnitude of Hyunjin’s absence in her life, but it still cheered her up regardless. And for the first time, she felt life bubbling up in her. A grain of hope was still hope and so she took it, praying that she’d be able to move on soon.

**Too bad the universe hated her and didn’t want her to get over Hwang Hyunjin.**

“What’s with you two? Did the twins fight?” Changbin teased.

Yeji stiffened, but purposefully kept her eyes glued to the floor.

Since it was their day off, of course Yuna’s plans included crashing at her favorite Oppa’s. Yuna didn’t even ask if any of them would be ok with it, simply announcing in the “4th Gen JYP Squad” shared group chat that they were having another joint hangout with pizza and chicken. It was in the middle of Stray Kids’ Promotions so Yeji almost dropped her phone in disbelief when her phone blew-up with affirming messages of ‘sounds good’, ‘great’ and ‘yes’ from the Stray boys. Even Chan Oppa, who was fairly strict about the separation of play and work voiced his agreement as well as received _permission_ from their Manager to do so. Yeji didn’t know what possessed the Stray leader to agree to Yuna’s plans, but since he consented, she had no choice but to consent as well.

Originally, Yeji was planning to decline, feigning she had something to do. But since the busiest members in the groupchat were down to hangout, she inadvertently didn’t have a choice. The Stray boys agreed to a hangout initiated by _her_ group member in the middle of their comeback season. She had to attend. It would have been rude not to. So here she was, sitting in-between Yuna and Ryujin as she quietly nibbled on a pizza slice, all while doing her best to feign indifference to the jerk across the way, who was intentionally ignoring her. Usually, the room would be filled with merciless teasing and friendly banters from both sides, but tonight, everything just seemed quiet and awkward. Yeji wondered if it was due to Hyunjin’s blatant treatment towards her that everyone noticed.

“They broke up?!” Yuna and Jeongin screeched at the same time.

“Looks like we have another pair of twins here.” Ryujin teased, causing both maknaes to blush and exchange sharp glares.

“Stop copying me.” Jeongin grumbled as Yuna rolled her eyes.

“You’re the one who’s copying me!” She stuck out her tongue.

“Oh my gosh, they sound exactly like them when they were kids.” Jisung laughed jovially as he gestured to the pair who hadn’t made eye-contact with each other once.

“Do not.” Hyunjin muttered.

“Do _so_ ,” Minho scoffed.

“’I came first!’ ‘I’m the sunbae!’ ‘I’m better!’ It was endless.” Chan chuckled as he recalled the past.

Yeji blushed and kept her head down in shame as everyone else laughed.

**Had they really been that immature?**

When she looked back, she realized that there were too many moments of insignificant bickering between them; ‘nothings’ that blew up into ‘everythings’ due to puberty, ego, and hormones raging.

**But at least they talked things out back then.**

Her heart throbbed painfully. It was better than now, when Hyunjin wouldn’t even look at her or let her apologize.

“That’s so true!” Chaeryeong laughed a little too hard, interrupting Yeji’s silent pity-party and causing her to look up in confusion. “Remember that incident guys?”

“Oh the famous incident!” Jisung couldn’t have sounded more suspicious, but nobody else seemed to notice or call him out on it.

“What Hyung?” Jeongin asked with exaggerated enthusiasm, his eyes darting around nervously.

Yeji frowned.

**What the heck was happening? What were they-**

“Don’t you remember?” Yuna was blinking a little too much for Yeji’s liking. “They kissed!”

“What?!”

“No way!”

“Really?!”

“I don’t remember!”

They were all **TERRIBLE** actors, a bunch of **LIARS**! The only one who was genuinely surprised was Lia, because she wasn’t there when it happened, but it was obvious that this was totally staged.

“Remind us Hyung! What happened?!” Jeongin avoided Yeji’s pointed look, keeping his eyes on Changbin.

“Well, you see…” Changbin put down his pizza, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

It was obvious that the group had planned this out and Yeji had no idea why. She had no idea why they were doing this or what the purpose of this was. However, as the rapper launched into the past account, she closed her eyes and found herself flashing back to that time, when she was younger and everything seemed so much simpler. She found herself… **missing those times.**

_“I’m the real Hwang. Nuna was talking about me!” Hyunjin puffed up his chest, lifting his nose high into the air._

_Yeji rolled her eyes at the arrogant boy._

_“Pu-LEASE. I’m the one who won the dancing competition! She was talking about me!” She narrowed her eyes at him, standing taller in defiance._

_“I came in first!” He took a step closer to her, his face twisting into a grimace._

_“So did I!” She didn’t back down, also taking a step forward._

_“I’m your sunbae!” He barked._

_They were practically face-to-face now with mirrored expressions of annoyance._

_“We started training within the same year, dummy!” She held back a scream at the ridiculousness that was Hwang Hyunjin. “What-“_

_“OK!” A high-pitched voice interrupted them, causing both of them to flinch and snap their jaws shut._

_Their dance instructor loomed over them with such a severe expression that they knew she wasn’t amused. Behind her, they could see the other trainees holding back their laughs._

_“That’s enough. No more fighting.” She looked at them so sternly that they began to shake in terror. “I don’t want to hear another WORD from either of you. Is that clear?”_

_Both of them mumbled that they understood, averting their eyes to the floor. But apparently that wasn’t enough for their teacher, who came in between them._

_“Hold hands.”_

_Their heads shot up at the same time in alarm, but the look on her face made them rethink anything they wanted to say._

_Yeji wanted to die out of embarrassment as she took both of Hyunjin’s hands in hers, hearing the snickers of the other trainees around her. On the other hand, the instructor remained unaffected by everyone else, focusing on the two of them instead._

_“Now you will apologize to each other nicely and never do this again.” She frowned. “This has been going on for too long! You two are too old to be fighting. You’re acting like a pair of immature siblings!”_

_“They are!” A female trainee giggled. “They are, Teacher! Haven’t you heard of the Hwang twins?”_

_“Well, then even more reason not to fight!” The joke was lost on the instructor who was too focused on disciplining the bickering pair. “Hyunjin, you first!”_

_“Me?” He squawked indignantly. “But-“_

_“Boys must ALWAYS apologize first, whether it’s to your sister or your lover. Apologize!”_

_Hyunjin huffed, his cheeks flushed pink in embarrassment. He looked down before mumbling a soft apology._

_“I’m sorry.” He muttered grudgingly._

_“For what, Hyunjin?” Their teacher drawled. “You gotta be specific.”_

_“But I-“_

_“I’m sorry, Hyunjin!” Yeji quickly interrupted, unwilling to prolong this moment any longer than necessary. “I’m sorry for putting you down. You worked hard for number one.” She forced a smile on her face, squeezing his hands urgently._

**_One look, one second of eye-contact, one glance…_ **

**_‘Let’s get this over with.’_ ** _She made sure he could read her eyes._

_He nodded with a grunt to show he accepted her apology. He let go of her hands when their teacher said in a wintry tone,_

_“I don’t remember telling you to let go.”_

_They reached for each other immediately, clasping their hands so tight as they gazed at each other and then at their instructor in confusion._

_“Now kiss.”_

**_Say what?!_ **

_Yeji looked at her in shock, as did all the other trainees, but their teacher was unfazed._

_“You’re twins right? It shouldn’t be a problem.”_

_“Teacher, we’re not really-“ Hyunjin let go of her hands panicking, only to be cut off by a clamor of voices around them._

_“Yes, they are!” The older trainees jeered, delighted that they would be able to see an interesting spectacle. “They are! Don’t let them lie to you! They are!”_

_“No!” Yeji was horrified, looking to her friends for help._

_Most of the trainees were shocked into silence, looking at Yeji with uncertainty. Some, including Ryujin, appeared concerned, trying to convince the teacher otherwise. However, it was the older trainees who won out. The older trainees had more power; not only age, but also experience. They were the ones with the louder voices and they were the ones the instructor listened to._

_“Kiss your brother, Yeji.” They goaded. “Kiss your Oppa.”_

_“You will kiss right now.” The instructor ordered coldly. “So that you were learn never to make a fuss at practice again. Now!”_

_Yeji wanted to cry. She didn’t want to kiss Hyunjin in front of everyone. They’d all continue to make fun of her. She didn’t even like him! Yeonjun immediately popped into her mind and she felt her eyes tearing up._

**_Why? Why?_ **

_Before she could burst into tears, Hyunjin had stepped forward. He leaned his face towards her cheek, so close that it seemed like he was planting a kiss on her, only he didn’t. He made a soft noise by pressing his own lips together, as if he kissed her, and pulled back with a cool expression._

_“I’m sorry… Sister.” He looked at her with a grave expression as the older trainees hooted and cheered._

**_One look, one second of eye-contact, one glance…_ **

_‘Don’t cry.’ He spoke with his eyes. ‘Don’t cry.’_

_At that, she swallowed back her sob and nodded, a faint smile tugging on her lips._

_‘I won’t.’ She told him back in her mind and he nodded as if he could hear her._

“Hyunjinie was pretty cool.” Jisung grinned, giving him a nod of approval.

“Kissing in front of everyone.” Yuna agreed, a dreamy smile on her face. “So romantic.”

“We didn’t actually kiss-” Yeji froze as did everyone else around the circle.

She hadn’t meant to speak aloud, the words just spilled over. She slowly lifted her eyes and scanned the circle. Some, like Lia, Jisung, and Yuna appeared genuinely confused. A few, like Chan Oppa and Minho didn’t appear fazed at all. And others, like Ryujin and Seungmin, smiled, as if they knew something she didn’t. Feeling puzzled, her eyes traveled across the circle and for the first time that night, her eyes met Hyunjin’s across the way.

His eyes were dark and again, that unreadable expression on his face. It was that burdened look that latched onto her like a chain, keeping her prisoner in his eyes; the look that intended to choke the life out of her.

She immediately jumped up to her feet. Feeble excuses spilled from her lips as she became cold inside and she booked it out of the room. She didn’t even process what she had mumbled, didn’t know whether the empty words she came up with made sense. All she knew was that she needed to get out and away from those eyes before they strangled her on the inside. She left as fast as she could, her eyes already moist. Her feet instinctively took her to the only place she knew she’d be safe and within seconds she was at the Hwang Spot. She sank to the ground and buried her face in her lap as she wrapped her arms around herself. Squeezing her eyes shut to prevent any tears from coming out, she tried to focus on breathing.

**In for three, hold for three, out for three… In for three, hold for three, out for-**

“Go away.” She buried her face deeper into her knees, pulled herself tighter.

She hated that she knew him so well she could recognize his footsteps.

“Yeji…”

Her heartbeat quickened at the voice that she missed, calling her name so sweetly.

“No… No, just go away.” She steeled her resolve. “I don’t want to see you.”

It was funny. All this time, she had wanted to see Hyunjin, had chased after him desperately. But now that he was in front of her, she wanted nothing more than to be as far away from him as she possibly could. **Because there was no point in seeing him.**

She realized it during Changbin’s story time, but should have registered it earlier. She should have realized it when he refused to open her texts and ignored all the apologies she tried to convey, should have known it when she bumped into him at the gym earlier that day and saw how he was living perfectly fine without her. She should have recognized it the moment that he kept his eyes down, ignoring her when she was sitting right across from him and gazing at him with pitiful eyes. But no. She had to realize it when the past was brought up. She had to understand that there was no more going back for her and Hyunjin.

**It’s too late for us.**

“Yeji-“

“Twins?” She cut him off with a hollow laugh. “Yeah right.” She slowly lifted her head, facing him with teary eyes. “It’d be much easier if we were…” A bitter smile curved on her lips as tears fell from her eyes.

At that, Hyunjin’s expression became cold, as cold as ice and his eyes hardened, narrowing into a piercing glare. But she didn’t look away. She was too jaded and too exhausted to care. For a moment and a half, they gazed at each other in silence, Hyunjin in agitation and Yeji in fatigue. She began wiping her tears on her sleeve when he finally spoke.

“I’m not your twin.” His quiet voice pierced through the silence as well as Yeji’s heart.

“… Ok.” She said tiredly.

She didn’t care anymore. She was too tired, too hurt. She had given up. Her heart was already in a million pieces anyways.

She closed her eyes, leaning back against the wall when she felt a strong hand latch unto her wrist like an iron chain. Her eyes shot open and the next thing she knew, she was face-to-face with Hyunjin, his face so close that she could feel his breath caressing her lips. He brought himself even closer, pressing his nose against hers and her breath hitched, eyes widening in shock.

“… I’m not your twin.” He repeated more forcefully, his voice dropping down three pitches causing a shiver to run down her spine.

“What are you-“

“Yeji…” His bass tone pleaded… He _begged_ , with that cursed expression that she had been seeing too often yet unable to decipher.

She froze. She had never heard him call her name like that. He had never called out to her with the way he was staring at her now. She found herself frozen, unable to look away from the eyes that stared at her with so much… **need**.

Her heart stopped.

That’s what it was. The look that shackled around her, making her unable to break away; the gaze that sucked her into his brown pools, trying to drown her in an unknown eternity; the stare that was filled with so much emotion that it manifested into the atmosphere, crushing her with its weight – the one expression that he had that she couldn’t recognize. _It was need!_

**No. It was more than need.**

The way Hyunjin gazed at her was more than an animalistic hunger to conquer her; it was more than a desire to own her. Pure need’s only purpose was to take and take and take, until there was nothing left. It was about self-fulfillment and greed, always wanting more. _But Hyunjin’s need was **more than that**. _

In Hyunjin’s eyes, Yeji saw need that was greater than longing. Need that was more passionate than desire. Need that was more than want. Need that was filled with sincerity and yearning. Need that transcended everything else. Need that equated…

**Love?**

She started trembling, her heart pounding in her chest as she stared paralyzed at the face that was too close to hers, gazing at her in a way that made her heart burn.

**Need. Hyunjin needed her. Just like how she needed him.**

_Or more accurately, **Hyunjin loved her. Just like she loved him.**_

And that was the last thought she had before her mind went blank at the pair of soft lips that pressed against her own. Instinctively, her eyes fluttered shut and she leaned forward, accepting the affection given. She didn’t question what she was doing or why she was kissing him. All she knew was the soft lips that kissed her tenderly, as well as the warm hand that cupped around the side of her face to pull her closer, felt right. It felt right being with Hyunjin.

Their kiss wasn’t innocent, with too much pent-up desire and hurt mixed into it. But it was sweet, clumsy pushes and pulls with just the right amount of gentleness and force. Hyunjin tasted like Choco boys, warmth, and home and Yeji didn’t think anything could be more satisfying. After being deprived of him for so long, she clung to him and his warmth, refusing to let go ever again.

“… I’m sorry.” Hyunjin’s voice was quiet, but it immediately woke Yeji from her drowsy state.

“… What?” She blinked sleepily.

They were huddled together in the piano room, the smallest of all practice rooms. It was another spot in the JYP building where there wasn’t a camera in sight, because its occupancy was intended for single or one-on-one sessions. Nobody ever used the room, unless they were taking vocal lessons. However, right now, it was the perfect cuddle spot for Yeji and Hyunjin as they lay on the floor close together.

She didn’t know how long they had kissed in the Hwang Spot, only that she was completely breathless when he finally let her go. She blinked, taking shallow breaths as she looked at him hazily. In her dazed state, he had whisked her away, breaking into a run as he dragged her to this room. Yeji became pliant as he lay them both on the floor, pulling her into his arms. He kept the lights off to make it appear that no one was using the room, but the light from the hallway was bright enough to illuminate the room through the window.

Currently, she was resting on top of his broad chest, beginning to doze off to the rhythm of his heartbeat. She yawned, adjusting herself to move higher so that her head was tucked right under his chin as she struggled to fight off her drowsiness.

“Sorry for what?” She let out another yawn as she snuggled closer to him.

“… Everything.” His tone caused her to frown.

She leaned her head back so she could look up at him.

“Everything?”

“Everything.” He repeated, weaving his fingers through her hair.

“… It’s not all your fault.” Her eyes softened. “I was at fault too…”

“I made you cry… Too many times.”

“… You always do.”

She giggled as he let out a snort.

“Right… And that’s the reason why my therapist gets all over me.”

She blinked in surprise, detaching her head from his chest to push herself up so that she was hovering over him.

“You have a therap-“ Her question immediately died once she gazed down into Hyunjin’s brown pools that sparkled with mirth.

“… Daehwi!” They said at the same time, causing them to share a laugh.

“Didn’t realize we share the same therapist.” She teased.

“His rates are affordable.” He smirked with a nonchalant shrug.

They shared another chuckle and Yeji couldn’t help but stare at Hyunjin’s face, taking in every crease, nook, and crevice. Her eyes traveled from his warm orbs down the slope of his nose to his pretty lips and then back up again. She felt like she was over the moon, gazing down at the face she loved so much that stared back at her with the same affection she felt.

“… What?” Hyunjin’s raised an eyebrow at her, startling her into an embarrassed giggle.

“It feels like a dream…” She said quietly, her eyes sparkling with a steadfast smile on her lips. “Like something too good to be true…”

His eyes flashed and he immediately reached out his hand to caress her cheek.

“I’m not going anywhere…” His smirk softened into a small smile as he gazed at her so gently.

“I know. I know… But still,” She paused, her hand coming up to hold his hand against her face. “… I feel like I’ll wake up and we’ll be twins again.” She pressed a ginger kiss against his palm, keeping his warm hand on her face.

And of course, Hyunjin being Hyunjin, had to break the mood.

“…You’re so dumb.” He let out a sigh, causing her to blush.

“Hey! Hyunjin-“

“Twins don’t hold hands, Yeji.” He sat up, tugging their clasped hands away from her face into his lap as he intertwined their fingers. “They don’t hug,” He presented a kiss to her knuckles. “And they definitely don’t kiss.”

“B-but…” Her voice trailed off.

“But?” He raised an eyebrow, causing her to blush as she averted her eyes.

“… But you’re special.” Her voice was barely louder than a whisper, but it was obvious by the way he stiffened that he heard her clearly.

Her cheeks burned and she kept her eyes fixed on the floor, refusing to look at him. She started to pull away, but he refused to let her, pulling her into him instead so that she was seated in between his legs, her back pressed up against his chest as he wrapped his torso around her in a back hug.

“That’s why I’m not a twin.” His whisper tickled her ear, sending chills down her spine.

She shivered and he tightened his hold on her, pressing his lips against the side of her temple. She closed her eyes and sighed in contentment as he turned her face towards him so he could start planting chaste kisses all over her, starting from her eyelids then to her cheeks and down her jaw line.

It was in the midst of his tender affections that a random memory popped into her mind as she breathed in the sweet aroma of chocolate from his shirt.

_“With Choco Boys, you can see everything. You get a generous amount of chocolate. And it’s the perfect balance of chocolate and cracker!” Hyunjin shoved a generous handful of chocolate mushrooms into his mouth to finish his speech with a bang._

**Choco Boys… Hyunjin was like Choco Boys.**

Oh my gosh! Hyunjin WAS like Choco Boys! Completely transparent and unable to cover up his emotions or thoughts within – honest to a fault. Full of charm, talent, skill, and beauty – the whole package. The perfect balance of reasonable and crazy, of silliness and kindness, of dance and song – the ideal idol. It was obvious when he was sweet or salty, clear where he started and ended. He may have not been perfect, but he was perfect for Yeji – consistent and constant.

The random epiphany caused her to giggle, her body rumbling with endearment.

“What is it?” He kissed her nose.

“Nothing…” She hummed, trying to stifle her giggles. “And did you just kiss my mole?”

Her eyes fluttered open as she blinked prettily at him.

“And if I did?” His insinuating voice caused her to freeze.

How on earth did Hwang Hyunjin make something so innocent sound so naughty?

Blood rushed to her head at his devilish smirk and she immediately tried to shove him away, but he caught her hands.

“What are you thinking about, Hwang Yeji?” His chuckles along with his powerful grip on her hands only messed with her head even more.

“S-stop! Jerk! S-stop messing with me!”

“Never.” He was laughing now, holding onto her effortlessly as she struggled against him with all her might.

“Dumb Hyunjin! Let go! I’m gonna kick y-AH!” She yelped as she pulled forward.

Hyunjin had leisurely fallen back on the floor, yanking her to him lazily as he lay flat on the ground. Yeji landed on his chest, stunned into silence at the sudden change of positions. It seemed as if they were back to where they started, laying close together on the floor as they cuddles. She slowly pushed herself off of him and he let her, his hands slipping from hers as she hovered over him. She placed one hand on the ground beside his head to support her weight while the other remained on his chest, gazing down into his eyes that looked up at her with such tenderness.

“…Still want me to let go?” He placed a hand on top of hers as he kept his eyes on hers. His voice was quiet and his smile was so _soft_ as he looked up at her, causing butterflies to dance in her stomach.

“No…” She whispered, keeping her eyes locked on his. “Don’t let go. Don’t ever let go.”

His smile brightened and she came down to rest on him, pressing her ear to the junction between his throat and collarbone where she could feel his pulse.

“… Don’t leave me again.” She closed her eyes, squeezing his hand. “Please…”

He slightly tensed, but he stayed still and for a moment, he was quiet.

“… I never did.” His arm wrapped around her waist, holding her close to him. “Never.”

“I can think of three times just this year alone.” She chuckled dryly, her eyes fluttering open.

She let go of his hand and sat up, rolling her neck when his arms suddenly wrapped around her. He draped over her with his warm body as he held her close, resting his chin on her shoulder. Her heart lurched as he pressed her against him, blood rushing to her cheeks at the possessive gesture. Feeling dizzy, she slowly turned her head to face him. Her heart thumped painfully in her chest as she gazed into those brown eyes that stared at her with the most sincerity and sadness at the same time.

“I never did…” He repeated, his free hand coming up to caress her cheek.

Yeji felt so confused, but then Hyunjin let out a sigh and for the first time, completely disregarded **_one look, one second of eye-contact, one glance…_** For the first time, Hyunjin **_talked_**.

~~~~~~~

**_Rooftop Fight (End of Ch. 5)_ **

_It was only when Hyunjin slammed the door behind him that he suddenly remembered the five different cameras that just caught him storming off the rooftop. He let out a groan of frustration, holding back a yell. He was mad, borderline furious._

_When was the last time they had fought like that? Yeji hadn’t screamed at him like that since two years ago when he had arrogantly rubbed in her face that he was debuting first. He deserved her fury then for being an obnoxious, insensitive prick. Now was different. He didn’t do anything wrong! He had helped her this whole time and this is what he got? Resentment bubbled inside him, bitterness threatening to choke him alive._

_He should have left. He should have left her to deal with her own outburst as well as the future consequences of her actions. He should have left to cool off his anger, knowing that if he ran into someone now, nothing good would come out of his mouth. He should have left. But he didn’t; No, he **couldn’t**. _

_He couldn’t leave; not when she was hurting by herself, not when she was crying in solitude due to unspoken pain. So he waited. He fumed for about five more minutes before slowly opening the door. He quietly ambled over to the edge of the rooftop and peered over. Yeji was still there, her wracked sobs echoing into the night and tearing at his heart. He sighed and sank to the ground, quickly shooting an apology text to Chan Hyung about an emergency he had to take care of. That night, he stayed out for the four hours she needed to cry her heart out. It was only after he watched her scale down the sidewall safely and enter the building through the back door that he headed back inside._

**_Outdoor Fight (End of Ch. 11)_ **

_Hyunjin could feel her eyes boring holes into his back, but he stubbornly kept forward, forcing his feet to march ahead. He knew she was following after him anyways, as she always did. He refused to turn back to look at her, afraid that he would explode at her and say even more words that he’d regret. He had already lost control of his temper and there was no need to make it worse. He could still feel intense jealousy pulsing through his veins, eating away at his insides._

_Even when her footsteps were distant and he could no longer hear them behind him, he kept going on the familiar path to her apartments. Even in anger, he would walk her home, or in this case, lead her home. By the time he arrived, he slowly turned around and could see her coming from the distance, dragging her feet._

_He waited in the parking lot, watching as she slowly trudged past him with vacant eyes, too deep in her thoughts to recognize him standing right in front of her. His heart throbbed in his chest painfully, but his jaw was still wired shut, refusing to unclench. His hands also remained fists, wound up tight in insecurity and hurt. He watched in silent gloom as she went inside her apartment. Once he knew she was safely inside, he hailed a taxi to go home._

**_Recent Fight (Ch.14)_ **

_Hyunjin was the angriest he had ever been in his life. None of their past fights could compare to how incensed he was feeling right now._

_Why was she so dense? Was it on purpose? He had told her, didn’t he? He’d always be there for her? How could she think about putting him with someone else?_

_He was so enraged that he couldn’t calm down, even at the sight of her tears. He quickly removed himself from the situation before he could say anything else he’d regret, practically running away from her so he wouldn’t destroy both her and himself._

_He didn’t make it far._

_He had barely passed the corner when he heard her let out a heartbreaking sob. And just like that, he was rendered motionless, taken prisoner by the sound of her cries. He wanted to run away, wanted to forget about everything before he exploded, but he couldn’t escape the sorrow that engulfed the both of them._

_He sank to the ground, drowning in the noise of misery that echoed behind him. His rage along with her misery twisted his insides and the next thing he knew, he was crying. Hyunjin cried, his own tears of frustration and heartbreak spilling over just one wall away from Yeji. He didn’t care that several cameras caught him pouring his eyes out in angst. All he knew at the moment was absolute agony, both his own as well as hers._

~~~~~~~

“So all those times…” Her voice trailed off as she stared at him in a daze.

“I was always there.” He confirmed with a faint smile. “… How could I leave you?” He tenderly brushed away a stray tear that escaped her eye.

And she was crying again.

“Y-you… You’re such a jerk.” She teared up as she smacked his shoulder. “Either leave completely or come back! Why were you in-between?! All those times I thought I was alone and you-“

He interrupted her rant with a kiss.

“Hyunjin! Mph-“

Another kiss to swallow her complaints.

“I’m sorry,” He whispered in-between kisses. “I’m sorry... Forgive me.”

She let out a whimper, but he was so tender that she couldn’t help but melt into him, sighing as he deepened the kiss. When he finally let her go, she found herself breathless for the second time that night.

“D-don’t think… y-you can use kisses… to get a-away with everything.” She gasped for air, unused to such strong affections yet.

“I-I wouldn’t dream of it…” He chuckled in a husky voice.

They took a few moments of quiet, taking in deep inhales and exhales like the innocent adults they were.

“I always… say what I think.” He broke the silence first, being the first to regain his breath. “I say what I want… without thinking.”

She gazed at him with wide kitty eyes, causing him to smirk.

“But… I don’t want to say things I know I’ll regret… Especially to you. That’s why I leave a gap, a space…” He took her hand in his once again, intertwining their fingers together.

She pursed her lips together in a pout as a thoughtful expression formed on her face.

“Spaces are fine… As long as they’re open spaces.” She nodded at him.

“Which means?” He raised an eyebrow.

“You in the same room as me… Or in a place where I can see you.” She leaned back to rest her head on the crook of his shoulder and collarbone. “I rather be mad with you than without you.” She looked up at him under her lashes with a smile on her face as she added her last words. “Together, not separate.”

She watched as Hyunjin’s face warmed into a grin, a kind twinkle in his eyes.

“… Together.” He agreed, his free arm coming around her waist.

 **Together. With Hyunjin.** Yeji couldn’t have wanted anything more.

She snuggled closer to him, turning so that she was curled sideways.

“… I missed you.” The quiet whisper of her heart came out.

The words came out before she could even process them. Her cheeks burned at her sudden confession and she immediately shut her eyes so she wouldn’t have to look at him.

“What does that mean?” He sounded confused.

“Oh… Didn’t I tell you?” She opened her eyes and peeled herself off his shoulder to look at him. “It means-“ She stopped, the words caught in her throat at Hyunjin’s knowing smirk.

The glint in his eyes as well as the handsome smirk on his face gave it away. He knew exactly what it meant, that punk. He just wanted to hear her say it out loud.

She blushed and immediately buried her face in his chest embarrassedly, fingers clutching to his shirt as he let out a soft chuckle. However, she was tired of leaving things unsaid and felt a surge of boldness rising within her that prompted her next words.

“I love you.”

She felt him freeze and tentatively, detached her face from his chest to glance up at him.

“… I love you.” She repeated shyly.

 **I love you –** The 3 most overused words in the world; the most meaningful and meaningless words in life; the words that could mean nothing and everything at the same time. They were words Yeji heard every day, from her members, fans, friends, and family. They were words that she also often used in passing. Sometimes, she wasn’t too fond of those words. She felt as if they were cheap, thrown around too lightly and used too easily. That’s why she preferred, ‘I missed you’. But saying those words out loud as she gazed into the eyes of the person she loved made a heaven and earth difference.

Her confession caused Hyunjin to fall into a daze, his usual confidence nowhere to be found. For a second, he appeared almost star-struck, his eyes doubled in size with his jaw slacked open. She giggled, pleasantly surprised at his unexpected reaction. But before she could tease him about it, warm lips captured hers into an intimate kiss. Yeji lost count of how many times he had kissed her that night, but she certainly wasn’t complaining, closing her eyes as she relaxed into him.

“I love you,” He whispered between kisses. “Love you, Yeji.”

When Yeji was young, her favorite 3 words were, ‘I missed you’. But it was at this moment that she decided she had a new favorite set of 3 words – 3 words that were blissfully satisfying to hear over and over again; 3 words that could melt and solidify her at the same time; 3 words that were more meaningful than any other fancy confession filled with excessive jargon.

3 words. 3 special words. Special because they came from Hyunjin. Only Hyunjin.

**“I love you.”**

_3 words._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we are DONE!! ^^  
> Confessing, kissing, and setting boundaries all on the same day. I’m so proud of our 2Hwang XD
> 
> Well… That wraps our journey! ^^  
> Thank you for joining me on this long ride.  
> Shoutout to all my commenters and kudos-gifters. You guys kept me going.  
> I want to especially give a shout-out to voltagesss and Trois_Jui. Your comments helped with the character developments for 2Hwang so thank you both ^^
> 
> Hope this was a satisfactory ending for you all and hope you enjoy the holiday season as best you can with your loved ones. 
> 
> ~ jellyturtle ^^


	16. Gift~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas~  
> Here is a gift from me to you.   
> Enjoy~   
> ^^

** Stray Kids & Itzy: **

Five minutes of silence passed since both Hwangs left the room when it felt safe enough to speak again.

“… Took them long enough.” Changbin scoffed as everyone let out the breath of relief they were holding.

“For reals…” Seungmin nodded, exchanging wry smiles with Felix.

“Seriously! Any longer and I would thrown him out of the dorms! He’s been his salty self for the past 3 weeks!” Jisung shook his head in exasperation as he took a gigantic chomp of his pizza.

“And in our room too!” Jeongin giggled.

“For RE-ALZ! That’s the thing!” Jisung whirled his head from left-to-right, addressing the whole group. “He doesn’t stay by himself when he’s in a bad mood. He makes it KNOWN to ERRBODY that he’s mad! He’s super obvious!”

“Yeji Unni’s the same!” Chaeryeong voiced out as she put her chicken wing down. “She tries to put on a front, but it’s so obvious when she’s upset! She was so sad these past few weeks.”

“He’s better make it up to her… Or I’ll kill him.” Ryujin nonchalantly downed a cup of coke.

The boys grimaced. Ryujin NEVER joked about hitting or killing any of the guys. If it was coming from her, they knew she meant it.

“Next time, let’s just lock them in a room together.” Yuna said cheerfully before taking a huge bite out of her pizza, causing a ripple of quiet laughter to run through the group.

“What did they fight about anyways?” Chaeryeong frowned, looking around at the boys. “Anyone know?”

The Stray boys shrugged carelessly.

“Does it matter?” Changbin snorted with a mouthful of chicken. “It’s not like this is the first time.”

“True…”

“Yeah.”

“That’s right.”

To be honest, none of them should have been surprised. They grew up watching Yeji and Hyunjin fight and make-up countless of times. No matter how bad it got, they’d always find a way back to each other. That’s how they always were, that’s how they always will be. They all knew it.

“What matters is that they make up.” Chan concluded with a broad smile. “For their own sakes, you know.”

“And ours.” Minho’s mutter caused everyone to crack up.

“…How do we know they’re actually making up and not fighting?” Felix looked up innocently.

“Wanna go spy on them, Oppa?” Yuna turned to Jisung expectantly.

“Sure.” He returned her smile, standing up with her.

“Me too!” Jeongin, refusing to be outdone, jumped to his feet to latch onto Jisung’s arm.

“I wanna see too.” Ryujin stood up, causing Chaeryeong and Lia to rise with her.

“Are we all going?” Seungmin asked with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

“I’m good.” Chan shook his head as did Changbin and Minho.

“Share the tea when you come back.” Minho lazily waved the centennials away.

“I hope they’re ok…” Yuna’s lips puckered into a pout, causing Jeongin to make a face as their older members smiled dotingly.

“… Me too.” Felix’s nervous giggle caused the girls to exchange smiles at how much of a sweetheart he was.

“Me three.” Lia showed him her eye-smile causing him to blush and look away.

“Don’t worry… This is the Hwangs we’re talking about.” Jisung threw his arm around him comfortingly with a wide grin, but not before giving Yuna an affectionate pat on the head.

She perked up at the head pat and blinked prettily at him, prompting an obnoxious cough from Jeongin, which she pointedly ignored.

“They’ll be fine.” Seungmin agreed, also wrapping an arm around the shy member as he pulled Jeongin to his side to prevent any more conflicts between the two youngest members.

“Hmm…”

“You sure?”

“What do you think they’re-“

“Oh my gosh!”

“What the?!”

“OH MY!”

“HUH?!”

“They’re-“

“Kissing!”

“SHUSH!”

“Quiet!”

“They’ll hear!”

“YOU shush, Shin Yuna!”

“Would you stop?!”

“Both of you calm down!”

“Stop! We’re too loud!”

“Look! They’re running away now!”

“It’s all your fault acorn-head!”

“Says the one with the scratchiest voice!”

Everyone spoke at the same time, exclamations, interjections, and shrieks happening simultaneously that no one could hear what he or she was saying, even less so what the others was saying. Spoken thoughts and loud perspectives mixed into one and in the midst of the chaos, Hyunjin and Yeji took the opportunity to escape.

Before Hyunjin turned the corner, he made sure to level a glare at the spying group as he pulled Yeji alongside him. They were out of the hallway before anyone could react, moving so quickly so that nobody could chase after them. For a moment and a half, the group just stood there, stunned at what they had just seen.

“I can’t believe this…” Ryujin’s lips curved into a smirk, secretly pleased that she and Yeji were now even in terms of witnessing each other’s PDA.

“Seriously!” Lia giggled, tightly gripping Chaeryeong’s arm as she fanned herself to cool down her blushing cheeks.

“I always knew Hyunjin was crazy, but I never thought he’d be this bold.” Jisung marveled, a snicker exiting his mouth.

“Oh my gosh.” Felix let out a nervous laugh as Yuna and Jeongin smiled embarrassedly.

“… At least now we know how they make-up.” Seungmin’s voice was quiet as he turned to face the group with a sly smirk.

“By making out?!” The 00-liner boys exclaimed at the same time, causing a chorus of laughter to echo throughout the hallway.

They quickly filed back into the Stray Kids’ practice room, a clamor of voices as they eagerly filled the older Strays.

“Hyung! You won’t believe this-“

“They kissed!”

“They were making out!”

“Shamelessly!”

“Hyung! They’re official, right?!”

“They wouldn’t kiss if they weren’t!”

“They ran away when they caught us spying.”

“Hwang couple!”

“Kissing! They kissed!”

“… Kiss?” Chan was momentarily stunned, at a complete loss for words as he tried to take everything in.

“Dang it!” Changbin bellowed. “I missed it!”

“You guys didn’t record it?” Minho looked at the group with betrayal.

“It happened too fast Hyung!” Jisung laughed. “And that punk ran away as soon as he saw us.”

“You ok?” Felix giggled as he hugged Chan, who was still speechless. “You’re completely dazed, Hyung!”

“I am…” Chan said in a hollow voice, although a smile started to warm on his face. “I am.”

“Why?” Changbin rolled his eyes, obviously still disappointed that he had missed the highlight. “It’s not like we didn’t know.”

“Knowing and SEEING it are two completely different things.” Seungmin chuckled.

“I agree.” Yuna chimed in, nodding with a pout on her lips. “They’ve always been fishy about their relationship status. But now, there’s no more denying it – it’s obvious they’re together.” She flipped her hair sassily, causing the older girls to laugh and pull her into their arms.

“Obviously…” Ryujin smirked, humored by the Itzy youngest.

“Now and forever…” Chaeryeong sang-song, causing another round of chuckles to ripple through the group.

“So… they made up right? They’re back together?” Jeongin asked excitedly.

“They’ll ALWAYS be together.” Jisung slung an arm around the Stray youngest with a bright grin.

And no other statement could have been truer. They all exchanged smiles and smirks as a sense of peace came over all of them. It wasn’t the first time Hyunjin and Yeji fought and made-up and it probably wouldn’t be the last, but for now, at least the rest of them could rest easy knowing that the Hwangs were in the right place regarding their relationship.

“200,000 won that Hyunjin marries first.” Minho breezed over as they settled back onto the floor to finish their midnight snacks.

“300,000 won that Oppa marries Yeji Unni.” Yuna added cheekily, causing the Stray member to give her a cold stare as their other members smirked.

“… That’s a given.” Minho deadpanned.

“Really?” Felix asked good-naturedly.

“What makes you so sure?” Lia asked with a giggle.

“Because that kid’s stubborn.” Chan chuckled. “Hyunjin, I mean… He’ll do whatever it takes to get what he wants.”

_He’s wanted and waited so long for her. And now that he has her, he’ll never let her go._

** Soobin: **

“I’m taking Soobin,” were the first words Hyunjin announced, rather than his usual greeting.

“… What?” Yeji blinked in confusion.

“Just letting you know, Soobin’s mine. Just saying.”

His smug voice startled her into a smile.

“Since when?” She giggled.

“Since he came out to grab lunch with me last week. One-on-one!” He puffed up.

“Really?”

She was pleasantly surprised. Soobin was very shy when it came to strangers and Hyunjin wasn’t exactly the friendliest the first time they met. However, she had heard from Daehwi that Soobin was starting to hang out more with the 00-liners boys and she was proud to know her shy friend was stepping out of his bubble. Additionally, it was apparent that once she was out of the picture, Hyunjin had no qualms about warming up to him right away. According to Daehwi, Hyunjin acted EXACTLY the same way she did around Soobin – “totally soft, borderline whipped”. And Yeji knew it was true by the dopey smile that was currently on Hyunjin’s face as he declared his stake on their bunny-like friend.

“So back off.” Hyunjin lifted his head arrogantly.

“And if I don’t?” She raised an eyebrow, her head tilted to the side as she gazed at him challengingly. “I knew him first you know.”

“Time doesn’t matter! The heart does!” He barked dramatically, honing his gaze on her.

Brown eyes resolute, he stared into her soul with the most seriousness in the world, but she refused to back down, stubbornly keeping her eyes on his. A total of 10 seconds passed before they both cracked. They collapsed to the floor together, laughter echoing from their lungs.

“You’re crazy.” She wheezed, shaking her head.

“You love crazy.” He smirked, causing her to smack his shoulder.

“Whatever.” She rolled her eyes, giggles still trailing out of her lips as he chuckled.

She scooted closer to him, laying her head on his shoulder with a content hum as she took a few more moments to calm her mirth. It was after she had caught her breath that a sudden realization popped into her mind.

“… Weren’t you jealous of me and Soobin a few months ag-“

He hurriedly cut her off with a kiss.

“Hyunjin-“

Kiss.

“Wai-“

Kiss.

“Hyunjin!” She giggled, pushing him away.

“Bygones will be bygones.” He dismissed, landing a failed attempted kiss on her jaw when she turned her head. “I’ve admitted my wrongdoings.”

“More like you fell for his sparkling eyes, right?” She teased.

“Is there anyone who’s immune?” He huffed, pouting when she dodged another kiss. “Seriously! I didn’t even realize my heart could flutter for a boy.”

“Flutter?”

“Don’t you dare look at me like that, Hwang Yeji! I know yours does too! We like the same things!”

She was startled into another bout of laughter as Hyunjin glared at her, attempting to steal more kisses as punishment (not that she was complaining).

** Daehwi: **

“I’m already preparing my ‘Best Man’ speech, just saying.” Daehwi winked.

“Who says I’m choosing you?” Hyunjin exchanged smirks with Yeji as their friend squawked.

“Ex-CUSE me?! You have ME to thank for this happening right now! I’d BETTER be your Best Man!” Daehwi was indignant, his eyes the biggest they had ever seen it.

“Who says I’ll marry him?” Yeji asked innocently.

This time, Daehwi smirked as Hyunjin whipped his head to Yeji so quickly that his neck cracked, eyes bulging out of their sockets as his lips jutted into a pout.

“Yeji!” He looked completely betrayed.

“You want to marry me?” She raised an eyebrow at him.

“Eventually! Someday!”

“I’m not waiting until we’re forty!” She scrunched up her nose. “That’s too late for me!”

“Then we’ll marry earlier!” He practically whined.

Yeji and Daehwi had a good laugh at that.

“A-and what is… early, exactly?” Yeji giggled.

“Good luck with that.” Daehwi snorted. “The most popular member of Stray Kids deciding to marry early? And to the leader of Itzy? Sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.”

“I’ll make a deal with Stays! Just like how you’re planning to make a deal with ABNEWs.” Hyunjin barked defensively.

“Are you really planning to make a deal with your fans?” Yeji turned to Daehwi, raising an eyebrow.

“I have to! I’m the only son! I need to get married and have kids early for my mom!”

“What a good son.” Hyunjin deadpanned, causing Yeji to elbow him with her shoulder.

It was too late. Hyunjin’s sarcasm set Daehwi off and the next thing she knew, Yeji was sandwiched between two sensitive boys who blasted off at each other regarding things not even worth mentioning. She sighed and shook her head at the two drama kings, letting them duke it out as she sipped on her ice Americano. While most days she would have been annoyed that she was stuck with the most emotional boys in the world, she couldn’t help but smile at the moment. Even though she thought they were being ridiculous, there was something nostalgic about this scene – Yeji with Daehwi and Hyunjin as they went through life together, both the good and the bad. It was a scene that Yeji hoped she would see forever.

** 2Hwang: **

“Shrimp crisps?” Yeji was startled into a pleasant smile by the bag of chips that Hyunjin surprised her with, dangling it in front of her face. “What’s the occasion?”

“Nothing.” Hyunjin shrugged nonchalantly, a smirk tugged on his lips.

“I thought you don’t compromise the best things in life?” She teased as she ripped the bag open to plop some into her mouth.

“I don’t…” A devilish smirk grew on his lips.

Before she could ask him what he meant, his hands snaked around her waist and he tugged her forward. She let out a yelp as she was yanked forward and the next thing she knew, she was caged in his strong arms, nose-to-nose with him. She blushed and tried to back away, but he tightened his hold around her.

“I have the best thing right here.” He murmured, his smirk melting into a soft smile.

“… You remembered-“ Her breath hitched as his hand came up to cup her face, his thumb brushing the crumbs off her lower lip.

“Of course…” His whisper caressed her lips, causing the slowing of her heartbeat and the rising of anticipation in her bones.

Her eyes fluttered shut as he leaned forward to capture her lips with his, gentle and intimate. And it was as they kissed that Hyunjin found himself remembering the first time his heart went a beat faster for Hwang Yeji.

**_ Flashback to 2015 Hyunjin: _ **

Hyunjin rushed into the convenience store so fast he almost knocked someone over.

“Sorry!” He bowed his head in a quick apology before darting away, briefly making eye-contact with a boy whose lips were pursed into a grimace. The boy was probably around his age, judging by his school uniform, but Hyunjin didn’t have time to make friends at the moment. Before the other person could say anything else, he rushed to the chips aisle.

He was late. He was supposed to be at the JYP building 10 minutes ago for their group practice. Their evaluation was in three days and the older Hyungs made it known that they would not tolerate any funny business. He knew he was going to get an earful from everyone by the time he got there, but he didn’t care – not when Daehwi had been sobbing his eyes out in the bathroom during lunch break.

Daehwi had been feeling homesick, his emotions raging all over the place due to missing his mother as well as their tough practice schedule. Hyunjin knew his feelings all too well and could totally relate. After all, Daehwi was his best friend and they were fairly similar in terms of how they handed their emotions – they hated to talk about it, but desperately needed comfort; they hated the attention, but wanted somebody there. So Hyunjin being the best friend that he was, knew there was probably no better way to cheer Daehwi up than to grab his favorite snack: Shrimp crisps. While Hyunjin normally made it his mission to convert as many as he could to Choco Boys, today would be the exception.

He ran through the aisle and silently thanked God that he was the lucky recipient of the last package. He snatched the last shrimp crisps, racing to the cash register. He barely heard the soft groan that came out of the aisle. Apparently, someone else wanted the chips he grabbed but they were a second too late.

 **Oh well. Too bad, so sad.** Hyunjin needed it more.

He didn’t even wait for the clerk to hand him the receipt and was already out the door as soon as he paid. He was sprinting up the hill to the JYP building when a sudden gust of wind knocked him over. He yelped, falling back as the chips went flying into the air. He raced for the chips, his heart pounding in his chest in relief that the package was still intact. He was about to go on his way when he made the mistake of looking up. And just like that, he was rendered frozen, unable to move at the sight in front of him – down the hill, just a few yards in front of him was Hwang Yeji.

**Hwang Yeji. ‘The cat from Jeonju’… Hyunjin’s ‘twin’.**

He was still weirded out when he looked at her. How on earth did they look so similar? The day they were introduced, he immediately called his mom, demanding answers to questions such as whether she had abandoned a child at birth, or if he was adopted, or if he was a clone. Let’s just say he didn’t think his questions through and his mom was still mad at him even though he was the one who ended up crying after getting lectured. Sometimes he hated how limited (or nonexistent) his filter was.

Anyhow, it shouldn’t have been a big deal, seeing her at the convenience store. All the trainees went there. But Hyunjin was young and stupid and still utterly fascinated by the individual who looked so much like him that his eyes were glued to her whenever he saw her. All concept of time disappeared whenever Hwang Yeji was around.

He stared at her in a daze, his eyes fixed on her face. She looked so… sad? Confused? **Wait, why was she sad?** Hyunjin watched as she took an ice cream cone from a stranger with a bewildered expression. Her kitty eyes were wide, just like the way Hyunjin would make them when he was pretending to be innocent; only with her, it wasn’t pretend. She was actually innocent, he was sure of it. He kept watching as the other person shoved a bag of… Homerun Balls? Into her hands.

It was when he saw the Homerun Balls it hit him. The person a step too late behind him, who groaned as he paid for the chips… was her. Hwang Yeji wanted the shrimp crisps. She wanted the shrimp crisps and he took them. That’s why she was sad.

And just like that, he could move again. But rather than going up the hill, his feet took him back down, his eyes locked on the girl who stood still in a daze as the Homerun Balls stranger walked away from her.

If Hyunjin had a little more awareness, he would have noticed that the stranger she had been talking to was the same boy he had crashed into earlier.

“Choi Yeonjun, aren’t you the ladies man?”

If Hyunjin had been paying attention, he would have remembered that name. But he wasn’t and he didn’t because he was focused on one person, and one person only.

Before he knew it, he was standing in front of her, the shrimp crisps in his hands. Their eyes met and immediately locked together, dark brown to dark brown. For a moment, they just stood there, _staring_ at each other like they always did since the first day they met – curious and bright. They were like toddlers experiencing their own reflection for the first time, completely fascinated and taken by each other. At least, that’s what it was like for Hyunjin. Staring at Hwang Yeji was like looking into a mirror – strange yet familiar. And it was because of this that Hyunjin’s body moved on its own.

He held out the shrimp crisps. He watched as the dazed look in her eyes morphed into surprise as her kitty-eyes widened. She stared at him, puzzled, as he impatiently shook his hand, motioning for her to take them. He kept his eyes on her as she slowly reached to take them. And then, she smiled. She smiled and suddenly, Hyunjin’s world didn’t make sense anymore.

He shouldn’t have been as affected as he was. They had the same face, didn’t they? But for some reason, seeing that kitty-like face beaming into a shy smile threw his heart into chaos. For the first time in the 15 years of his life, his heart beat a second faster for someone else.

He could feel his blood rushing to his cheeks so before he could completely embarrass himself, he snatched the Homerun balls out of her hands and took off running. He left before she could say a single word to him, and didn’t stop running until he was at the JYP practice room. He felt embarrassed, but she’d forgive him, wouldn’t she? He couldn’t have gone to Daehwi empty-handed so it was fair to trade the Homerun balls with her favorite snack right?

“What’s this for?” Daehwi asked blankly when Hyunjin tossed the Homerun balls into his lap.

“They ran out of shrimp crisps.” Hyunjin slid to the floor next to him, keeping his eyes fixed on the wall as he tried to cool the heat from his cheeks.

“… Thanks Hyunjin.”

“No problem.”

** Author’s Note:  **

Little did they know at the time, that was the only the start of their journey, the birth of something wonderful in store for them.

For Yeji, it was also more. It was the beginning of her love story, a love story with two different boys. One would be her first and the other would be her last, but the origin of both would be the same – the convenience store. Call it fate or coincidence, but for Yeji, it was the unfolding of her love.

The end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you like it? hee hee  
> I actually wrote this around the same time as Ch.15, but was holding onto it just to gift it to you for Christmas ^^  
> I tried to incorporate all the other questions that you have asked so we have StrayItzy, Soobin, and Daehwi.   
> Also wanted to throw a bit of Hyunjin's side of the story since we've only seen Yeji's perspective.  
> Well, that's it for now~
> 
> Hope you enjoy the Christmas season with your loved ones. And if you weren't able to hang out with family or receive any gifts due to COVID-19, please accept this as my present to you. ^^


End file.
